间谍亚契（2009）

Archer S06E10

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:05 p.m.

You don't know what I want.
你怎么知道我要
Oh, yes I do. Come on, just the tip.
我当然知道就舔舔头就好
I don't know. It's pretty big.
不好吧太大了
I think it's just a standard breakfast burrito size.
这不就是个标准尺寸的玉米卷饼吗
Here. First take a bite of mine.
来嘛先尝尝我的
No, first you take a bite of mine. Let's do it together.
不你先尝一口我的我们一起吧
Is that crazy? Oh, my God, okay.
会不会太疯狂了我的天好吧
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
Men's room? Broom closet.
男卫生间去杂物间
It's dirtier. No. Bring the burrito.
那里更脏一些不把玉米卷饼带着
Oh, my God!
我的天哪
Well, we were all thinking it.
我们都想吐了
That, and how chili's not breakfast.
所以辣椒不能当早餐
Well, technically, anything's breakfast,
其实所有东西都可以是早餐
if it's your first meal of the day.
只要那是你一天中第一餐就行
Oh. Then Ray's right.
那雷说得对啊
And also duh. Well, hooray. Give yourself a hand.
看吧万岁先装只手吧你
You know what? I know you better sit your ass down
挑事儿吗我说你最好坐下
before I jam an Easy Spirit up it!
不然小心我把鞋塞你屁♥眼♥里
Whoa. Hey! Pam, Ray. Come on, you two.
帕姆雷消停点你俩
You're not mad at each other.
你们不是在生对方的气
You're mad at the unspeakably revolting
你们气的只是
symbiotic mass of bodily fluids
看到亚契和拉娜两人水乳♥交♥融时
that is now Archer and Lana.
自己有种说不出的感觉
They make me sick!
我觉得他们恶心死了
Rub it in our faces how we're doomed to be alone.
他们就是在当面羞辱我们注孤生
Well, your face. And Ray's, I guess.
羞辱的是你和雷吧
Wait, nobody's rubbin' off in my face.
没人当面羞辱我
Yeah, that's her point. And think how hard watching them
是啊她就是这个意思想想看
must be for Cyril. No! It's
西里尔看着他们亲热得多难受啊不
That's not-- I mean, come on!
我不别这样
I'm totally over Lana, so... Cyril!
我不喜欢拉娜了西里尔
You can lie to yourself--
你骗得了自己
Obviously, look at your sweater.
显然是看看你的毛衣
But don't lie to Team Breakup.
但你骗不了分手者联盟
Guys, it's obvious what we got to do!
伙计们这就是我们的义务和职责啊
Throw acid in their kissy faces.
在他们亲亲的时候往他们脸上泼酸
No! Wait!
不等等
You want to try to break them up?
你想拆散他们吗
I mean, it's either that or...
要么就那样要么
No! The solution to every problem
不不是所有问题的解决方法
isn't throwing frickin' acid on it!
都是往上面泼酸
Unless the problem is a solution
除非这个问题是
with an overly-alkaline PH balance.
要平衡一个碱性过强的溶液
Krieger, hush! Pam? You have a plan?
克里格闭嘴帕姆你有计划吗
I don't know. Maybe we could do something like one of those bait cars?
不知道也许我们可以利用一下诱饵车
But obviously, the car would be a vagina.
但显然那个车得是一个女人了
Hmm. Okay, so we get a woman
所以说我们得找到一个
that Archer would find irresistible.
让亚契神魂颠倒的女人
Maybe by having her fog a mirror.
让她好好打扮一番
Then put her in Archer's path,
然后让她出现在亚契的必经之路上
and his pathological need to sleep
那么他自然会想要和他遇到的
with every woman he meets does the rest.
每一个女人都上♥床♥
Or, you know, a lot of couples break up if their kid dies.
你知道吗很多情侣会因为孩子死了分手
Really?
真的吗
Yeah. Easy peasy.
是啊易如反掌
We hire somebody to kidnap their fat, gross baby.
我们找个人绑♥架♥他们家的胖妞
There's this huge man-slash-baby hunt.
然后大家会掘地三尺来找这个孩子
It's in all the newspapers.
报纸上都是这个消息
On the wireless. America's going apeshit.
网上到处都是全美国都愤怒了
Then, we double-cross the kidnapper,
然后我们阴一把绑匪
who obviously we paid with easily-traceable gold certificates.
我们用容易被追踪的黄金券付他报酬
We plant a shitload of dicey evidence in his garage.
我们把大量没根据的证据放到他车♥库♥里
Tip off the cops-- he's basically convicted of being German,
把消息告诉警♥察♥ 他被判身为德国人罪
and then, bzz-zap!
最后滋滋滋
Dirtnap for the kraut! Compliments of Old Sparky.
德国人死掉了电椅万岁
God damn! Wireless?
天呐无线
But wait. If it's a kidnapping--
等等如果这是绑♥架♥的话
Uhh! The child is sent to Bhutan,
孩子会被送到不丹去
where for the next 20 years,
在之后的20年中
she's raised and trained as an assassin
她会被和尚训练培养成一个刺客
by R'as al Ghul before returning to destroy
然后她会回来摧毁那些
those who once betrayed her.
曾经背叛过她的人
Us.
那不就是我们吗
Yes! But it buys us time.
是啊但这给我们争取了不少时间
Oh, my God, Lana.
天呐拉娜
That was insane!
刚才简直太疯狂了
It's insane, like, every time now.
现在我们的每一次都好疯狂
What is going on with you?
你怎么弄的啊
GoGoing on with me how? What do you mean? I mean
什么怎么弄的你指啥我指
and uh, don't take this the wrong way, but--
别想歪了但是
did your dick get bigger?
你的丁丁是不是变大了
I don't think so. Is that a thing?
我不觉得这很重要吗
I think I would have heard of it!
要是的话我应该听说过
Wait, in Le Retour de Martin Guerre,
等等在《盖赫返乡记》里
didn't his get bigger? Nope. His feet got smaller.
他的丁丁没变大吗没他脚变小了
Oh. Well, I know my feet are the same.
我知道我的脚没变
His wife fell in love with him
他回去的时候他妻子爱上他了
when he came back because he was caring and loving,
因为他变得贴心会关心人了
which he wasn't before.
他之前可不是那样的
Larger penis probably didn't hurt.
丁丁变大也许没事
And I'm sure my feet are the same, Lana.
我确信我的脚还是一样大拉娜
My cordwainer would have said something.
我的鞋匠肯定也会这么说的
Well, whatever it is, for some reason
随便啦出于某种原因
I don't have to suppress my gag reflex now
现在你在提你的鞋匠时
whenever you mention your cordwainer.
我不用再压抑我的咽反射了
Well, what should I call him? A shoemaker?
那我该怎么称呼他做鞋子的吗
What I'm trying to say is, you were different
我想说的是和我们第一次约会时比
than you were when you dated the first time.
你变得很不一样了
More mature, maybe? And definitely more focused on me.
大概是更成熟了而且显然对我更专注了
As opposed to every single woman you meet in a bar
与你在酒吧或派对里遇到的每个单身女人
or at a party or just merely walking down the street.
或者是途径的某个单身女人相比
I-- Yeah. Uh. I'm sorry for that... time.
我是啊我很抱歉那时候...
Times, yes. Plural. And I promise you,
那些时候是的复数我保证
that won't ever happen again. It better not.
那不会再发生了最好如此
Because this time It's really kinda good, right?
因为这次氛围确实很好对吧
No, Archer, it's great! Somehow.
不亚契是棒极了不知怎的
I can't remember when I was this happy!
我第一回这么兴奋呢
You recently gave birth to a child.
你最近生了个娃儿
Shit, right!
见鬼你说得对
But besides that, this is the happiest I've been in a while!
但除此之外我最近都没有这么高兴过了
Which, obviously, is why we can't tell mother we're dating again.
正因如此我们才不能告诉妈妈我们复合了
Obvious? Because she'd try to break us up somehow.
正因如此吗因为她肯定会拆散我们
She can't stand for me to be in a relationship.
她接受不了我恋爱
I think it actually causes her physical pain.
我觉得这似乎会让她生理痛
You realize your relationship
你知道你和马洛里的关系
with Malory isn't a huge selling point?
不是个很好的卖♥♥点对吧
Y-Yeah. So, to make up for it, what say I
是啊所以为了弥补这一点
bend you back over the mop sink?
不如我让你面朝拖布池来玩老汉推车
Bring it, Sommersby.
放马过来吧真汉子
Because, you ding dong,
因为你这个蠢货
our bait-car hooker has to be hotter than Lana.
我们的诱饵必须比拉娜更性感
That won't be hard!
那也不难啊
What? Did you suddenly go blind?
你说什么你是不是瞎啊
No, phew!
没有诶
But Pam, come on. The prostitutes on this website
但帕姆这个网站上的妓♥女♥
are like-- Jeezy Petes!
都天惹噜
Some of them are 10,000 a night!
有些要一万一晚呢
Yeah. So two grand apiece! Are you
是啊所以我们每人两千你是不是
I wouldn't even pay $2,000 to get myself laid.
我都不会花两千给自己招♥妓♥