间谍亚契（2009）

Archer S06E09

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:05 p.m.

I am dead serious.
我很认真
From now on, no eggs, no pigs' feet,
从今起不准有鸡蛋猪蹄
nothing pickled,
腌制的东西
or, so help me God,
否则我发誓
I will put that refrigerator out by the curb.
我会把那个冰箱扔到街边上去
What? Oh, come on!
什么别这样嘛
Those weren't pigs' feet.
那不是猪蹄
Whatever feet, idiot!
什么蹄子都不行蠢货
Now then, we have an assignment,
虽然我们现在有了新任务
but I won't be joining you,
但我不会和你们一起去
so if you'll direct your goldfish-like attention spans
所以请大家把你们那无法持久的注意力
to Mr. Slater...
转移到斯莱特先生
Just Slater, for the "infinitieth" time.
斯莱特就好说了无数次了
Watch it. Shut up.
你小心点闭嘴
Burn. Shut up.
蠢了吧闭嘴
Burn.
蠢了吧
Okay...
好了
the young man in the monitor
显示器中的这个年轻人
is Crown Prince Fawad Fawaz,
是皇储福阿德·法瓦兹
heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Durhan.
杜汉王国王位继承人
He just got a summer internship on Wall Street...
他刚得到了一份在华尔街实习的暑期工作
Ugh, affirmative action...
肯定是因为平权行动...
And so he's in the city looking for suitable accommodations,
他正在城内寻找合适的住所
something befitting the world's richest prince.
要符合他世界最富有王子身份
Oh, money. Holy shit.
真有钱见鬼
And so what, he needs bodyguards?
所以呢他是需要保镖吗
Mm, no, I think he's all set there...
不保镖什么的他都准备好了
Which brings us to my problem,
提到这里就不得不提提我的麻烦了
which, coincidentally, is also your problem.
而这不巧也是你们的麻烦
Without the prince or his security team's knowledge,
我必须不引起王子和他安保团队的注意
I need to scan any and all of his mobile phones,
偷偷扫描他所有的手♥机♥
any and all flash drives,
所有U盘硬盘
both of his handprints, and both of his retinas.
他两只手的手印和视网膜
And why?
为什么呢
Oh, sorry, let me back up.
抱歉我补充一下
This is part of Operation Because I Said So.
这个行动的名字叫我怎么说你怎么做
Ya know what? I'm sure I do.
你知道吗我肯定知道
For example, this is a tranquilizer gun,
例如说这是麻♥醉♥枪♥
with which I will dart the prince,
我会用这把枪麻醉王子
and then we'll have 60 seconds to do all the scans
然后我们有一分钟时间搞定所有扫描工作
before he wakes up with no side effects
然后他就会醒来不会有任何不适
and no memory at all of the previous few minutes.
也不会记得前几分钟到底发生了什么
Bullshit, the CIA doesn't have that technolo--
鬼扯中情局才没有这种技...
But before I can tranquilize him,
但在我麻醉他之前
I need access to the prince, so--
我需要接近王子所以
Uh, and just so we're clear,
我插一句话啊
he's the prince of Durhan, an allied country.
他是杜汉的王子杜汉是我们的盟国
Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back to Operation Said So.
是还记得这个行动叫我怎么说你怎么做吗
Everybody else, these are your mission dossiers.
所有人注意这是你们的任务卷宗
Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
在去唐特庄园的路上好好看看
Tunt Manor? That's my house!
唐特庄园那是我家
I know!
我知道
And the prince is on his way there,
王子也在去那儿的路上
and so we're going there,
所以我们也要去那儿
and because you know the property,
鉴于你了解那里
you'll be posing as the listing agent!
你要扮演中介的角色
Shut up! Burn!
闭嘴吧蠢了吧
Well, just in case I don't read this...
为防我不想读这个
what are the rest of us gonna be doing?
我们剩下的人要做什么
Some of you will be assisting me and/or Miss Tunt.
一部分会来协助我和/或唐特小姐
The rest of you will be distracting the prince's security team
剩下的就去引开王子的安保团队
and/or his mother...
和/或他妈妈
Her Majesty, Queen Yasmin Fawaz.
雅思敏·法瓦兹王后
Whoa, shit. Damn.
天呐真见鬼
Seriously?
你不是吧
What? I just heard you get hard.
怎么了我听到你硬了
They were goat feet,
那些是山羊脚
and you threw 'em out!
你竟然把它们丢掉了
Ah, damn you!
该死
God damn you all to hell!
见鬼你们都去死吧
So... the van's downstairs.
车就在楼下
Turn around. Now spread your arms.
转过去手举起来
I do apologize for this necessary precaution,
抱歉但这是必须进行的安保措施
Miss...
您是
What do I always tell you?
我怎么跟你说的
Never apologize.
绝不要抱歉
It is a sign of weakness.
道歉是软弱的象征
Yes, Mother.
好的母亲
So, Miss... Uh... Escrow.
您是埃斯克罗[第三方保管]
My last name is Escrow. Really?
我姓埃斯克罗真的吗
Yes, and trust me, I've heard all the jokes.
是的相信我大家总拿这个开玩笑
Oh, boy.
天呐
Okay, Chinstrap, let me see what we got on the other cameras.
好了大胡子看看别的监控
Bathroom one, bathroom two, bathroom three,
卫生间一卫生间二卫生间三
bathroom four, bathroom five--
卫生间四卫生间五
Are all the cameras in bathrooms?
所有摄像头都设在卫生间里吗
No. Just my faves.
不我个人爱好而已
Bathroom six, bathroom seven, bathr--
卫生间六卫生间七卫生间
Shoulda gotten some poison ones.
早知就弄点能弄死人的枪来了
Okay, people, I want you in position in five minutes.
好了大家五分钟内全部就位
You should've thought of that
早在你选这些傻♥逼♥制♥服♥前
before you picked these ridiculous costumes,
你就该想到这个的
and why are your plans always so complicated?
你计划怎么这么复杂
You're like Wile E. Coyote with access to Predator drones. Out.
你就像驾驶无人机的大笨狼说完了
I think these uniforms are awesome!
我觉得这些制♥服♥很棒啊
Here, let me get some pics of you!
来我给你照几张
To masturbate to?
用以自♥慰♥吗
Pfff, please.
呸拜托
Please?
拜托了
Can somebody explain to me why the CIA
有人能跟我解释一下为什么中情局
is spying on American allies?
要监视美国的盟国吗
Well, Ray, there were these things called dinosaurs,
雷这世上有种生物叫恐龙
and when they died, they turned into oil, somehow,
它们死了后就会变成石油
and that's what your car uses for food.
就是你的车要用的那个东西
Thanks, Al.
多谢了半岛
Al? Jazeera!
半岛半岛电视台[卡塔尔的]啊
Look, for all we know, Slater wants all that stuff
据我们所知斯莱特想弄到那些
because the CIA is trying to protect the royal family.
是因为中情局想要保护王室一家
From what? Cabals.
为什么防止有人密谋害他们
What?
什么
Yes, sinister cabals!
是啊邪恶的阴谋
I bet the royal palace is lousy with them.
我敢说他们王宫内绝对充满了阴谋
So instead of trying to undermine the mission...
所以为了不要破坏这次行动
don't undermine it!
不要破坏这次行动
What the heck got into him?
他到底在想什么啊
More like what he wants to get into,
不如说他想上什么吧
which, obviously, the queen's vagina.
显然他想上那个王后
Seriously?
真的吗
Or wherever else.
也可能是从后面
Although she didn't look like a Back Dorothy.
虽然她看起来不太像喜欢爆菊的样子
Well we'll just see about that...
那我们等会儿看吧
the part about Archer having sex with the queen,
我是说亚契想上王后那事
not the part about the queen being into anal sex. Who knows?
而不是说王后喜欢被爆菊谁知道呢
Wow. This is eerily similar
真奇怪这和我为经典剧场
to my spec script for Masterpiece Theater. Your what?
写的推销剧本真♥相♥似你的什么
Well, I guess technically it's fanfic.
其实那大概应该算是同人文吧
Bringing us to the formal dining room, which seats 80,
我们现在来到的是正式餐厅可容纳80人
with plenty of room for servants to skulk around,
旁边还有很大的空间可供侍从溜来溜去
ladling turtle soup into sterling silver bowls,
用长勺将甲鱼汤倒入纯银制的碗里
their sullen eyes downcast as Grandmam?Makes a joke
他们的眼睛像祖母的一样沉沉的向下看着