西游ABC（2023）

（吃到饱）
西游ABC
第 1 季 第 3 集
（中医草药馆） （中医草药馆）
（崔维斯：在大庭广众之下 唱《慢慢来》）
（崔维斯：去捡喷水池里的硬币）
（崔维斯：和鹦鹉做朋友）
（崔维斯：狂灌一公升根汁啤酒）
（崔维斯：疯狂乱舞）
（崔维斯：用卷筒卫生纸 包住奥西多谷中学的雕像）
（席耶拉孟纳） （天堂与人间的交界）
请到校长室…
please report to the principal's…
我不是凡人，而且…
I'm not from this world and…
晚点见
Uh… -See you there.
♪奶奶真惨♪
♪ Sucks for Grandma ♪
♪奶奶真惨♪
♪ Sucks for Grandma ♪
♪奶奶真惨，奶…♪
♪ Sucks for Grandma Su-- ♪
乔许的头发… -对
Josh's hair… -Yeah.
看起来就像他用石头剪的
…looks like he tried to cut it with rocks or something.
等一下，每年都…
Wait, do what ev…
我也有惊人的硬币收藏
And I also had a killer coin collection, so…
我不知道
I don't know, dude. Um…
如果你真的相信进
if you truly believe in this Jin…
你应该去找他
…you should go find him.
就能得到…黄金钉鞋 -好耶
they get… the golden cleats! - Yeah!
（崔维斯：加油，蠢蛋 今晚，你们要使命必达）
准备好了 -什么都可以
Get ready, chumps. - …everything.
我也差不多
Me too… …in a way.
喝了之后可以松筋骨、治头痛 还可以集中精神…
Helps tension, headaches, fatigue…
这些是我留给家里两个男生的啦 -拜托嘛
I'm keeping some for my family…
我再去跟医师买♥♥就有啦
…but I can ask the herbalist for more.
在一小时内用卷筒卫生纸 把十五尺高的雕像包起来
how to wrap a 15-foot statue in toilet paper in the next hour, so…
但你可以用它来做这种事吗？
Are you, like, allowed to use that thing for stuff like this, or…
好
Oh-- Uh… Oh, oh, okay.
我得自♥拍♥
Oh, oh, uh, I gotta get a selfie, so…
谢谢，真的很感谢你帮我
Um… Thanks. I really appreciate that.
124、125…
124, 125…
希望你饿了
I hope you're hungry.
赶快吧，这里有股牛臭味
Let's make this quick. This place smells like a wet ox.
你觉得如何？
What do you think?
我们得自己盛餐？
We serve ourselves?
不要添饭，把胃口留给更贵的餐点
Oh, don't fill up on the rice. Focus on the good stuff.
我们已经好久没有一起吃饭了
It's been a long time since we've eaten together.
的确是
That's true.
你一点都没变老，悟空
And you don't look a day over 40,000, Wukong.
你真好心
That's kind of you to say.
但带孩子真的会让人变老
But kids do age you.
看看我，我是玉皇大帝的辅佐
Look at me. A member of the Jade Emperor's inner circle,
却掌控不了我的儿子
and I can't even control my own son.
也许你不需要掌控
Perhaps you don't have to.
这是你的立场吗？
So that's your stance then?
我没有立场
I don't have a stance.
你把我轰到墙上
You slammed me into a wall.
我只是希望你儿? 也和你当初一样有机会尝试
I just want your son to have the same chances you did.
多相信他一点
Have a little faith in him.
为什么？
Why?
他偷了我的东西，还不服从我
He stole from me. He disobeyed me.
诚如东海龙王敖广所言
As Ao Guang, the Dragon King, once said,
“信任不讲补偿”
"Faith is a gift, not a reward."
敖广的脑袋很差
Ao Guang also has the brains of a goldfish.
我知道维辰太过自信且莽撞
I know Wei-Chen is overly confident and reckless,
但那是他的本性
but it's in his nature.
他得成熟点，好好控制那些本性
Well, he needs to learn to grow up and control that nature.
就像我一样
Like I did.
你说得倒容易
Easier said than done.
你知道结果可能很糟吧？
You know this could end very badly, don't you?
如果牛魔王拿到金箍棒
If Niu Mowang gets jīn gū bàng,
谁知道他会释放什么样的黑暗势力
who knows what darkness he could unleash.
我很清楚
I am aware.
所以我一直看着维辰 就像我以前看着你一样
That's why I'm watching Wei-Chen as I did you once upon a time.
这不一样，以前我要完成崇高的任务
That was different. That was a sacred mission.
但他是在追寻愚蠢的梦想
He's chasing a silly dream.
梦想能带来空前的成功
Dreams can bring great success.
或空前的失败
Or great failure.
失败能让人有所觉悟
Failure can bring enlightenment.
觉悟没办法帮我们打赢牛魔王 并阻止叛变
Enlightenment will not bring us victory over Niu Mowang and his uprising.
悟空，有所觉悟就是胜利
Wukong, enlightenment is victory.
好
Okay.
再等一周，我就会亲自把他拖回家
One more week, then I drag him back on my own.
不是说饮料可以无限畅饮吗？
Didn't they say these drinks were bottomless?
我要再去盛菜了
Time for seconds.
天啊
Oh, my God.
不，不要
No! No!
进，吃早餐
Jin, breakfast!
欢迎来到秋季誓师大会
It's the fall sports pep rally!
请以掌声欢迎本区男子足球队卫冕冠军
First up is the defending regional champion boys soccer team!
好好享受这种巨星级的待遇吧
Dude, welcome to rock star status.
对，挺酷的
Yeah. Nah, this is pretty cool.
不是，我不是在说誓师大会
Oh, no. I'm not talking about the pep rally.
我是指我们的社群帐号♥ 我现在的追踪数狂涨
I mean our phones, bro. I am blowing up right now.
我上一次得到这么多赞是因为我住院
Last time I had this many likes, I was in the hospital.
大家为战鹤高声欢呼
Let's hear it for your Fighting Cranes!
有人把后背包遗落在誓师大会上
If you left your backpack at the pep rally,
进
Jin.
你还好吗？
Are you okay?
很好，为什么这么问？
Yeah, I'm fine. Why?
你的头撞得很大力，我担心了一整晚
You hit your head so hard. I was worried all night.
那是真的吗？
So, that really happened?
好，你能不能解释一下是怎样…
Okay. Can you just explain that to me, so what--
你痛殴学校工友，害他变成了猪头？
You beat the crap out of a gardener so hard he turned into a pig?
他才不是工友，他是猪八戒
He's not a gardener. His name is Zhu Bajiè.
是我爸的手下
And he works for my dad.
我以为你说你♥爸♥在别的国家工作
I thought you said your dad worked in another country.
没有，他住在天界
No, he lives in Heaven.
他是美猴王孙悟空
His name is Sun Wukong. He's the Monkey King.
好喔，我只是来确认 他们有没有燕麦饼干
Okay, cool. I just came to see if they had any oatmeal cookies,
那我… -进，等等
so I'm gonna-- -Jin, wait.
我知道这难以置信，但一切都是真的
I know it's hard to believe, but it's real.
我需要你的协助
I need your help.
你需要我的协助？
You need my help?
对
Yes.
先听我说，我做了一个梦
Just listen. I had a dream.
有只白鹤告诉我
A crane spoke to me and said
有个英雄和他的引路人会找到第四卷卷轴
there's a hero and his guide will find the Fourth Scroll.
你知道我刚到这里时，看到了什么吗？
And do you know what I saw when I first arrived here?
什么？
What?
这个
This.
白鹤啊
A crane!
这是预兆，你就是我的引路人 -好
That's a sign. You are my guide. -Yeah-- Yeah, dude,
我完全不知道什么第四卷卷轴
I don't know anything about any fourth scrolls.
老实说，我中文甚至没那么好
And, honestly, I don't even speak Chinese that well.
进，没关系
Jin, it's okay.
你就来我家，跟我的守护者谈谈
Just come to my house and talk to my guardian.
她会为你解释清楚
She will explain everything to you.
我以为你和你阿姨一起住
I thought you said you live with your aunt.
她其实不是我的阿姨
Well, she's not actually my aunt.
好，你… -进，我能跟你聊一下吗？
Okay, so you-- -Jin! Can I talk to you for a sec?
你就… -好，等我一下，小崔
Just-- -Yes. Hey, just give me a sec, Trav.
拜托，我…进
Please, I-- Jin.
下午五点，拜托你
Five o'clock. Please.
好啦，我会去
Yeah, okay. I'll come.
嗨，怎么了？
Hey, what's up, man?
今天练球完，我们要队聚
Throwing a little team hang after practice today.
你该来 -好啊，我会去
You should come. -Yeah, definitely, I'll stop by.
你别老动，你老动我就扎不准了
The more you move, the longer it takes.
不好意思啦，每次到这里我就有一点紧张
Sorry. That one makes me nervous.