后半生

-主要是做司机 -他是个工作狂 和我一样
- As a chauffeur mainly. - He's a grafter, like me.
戴安娜公主
Princess Diana.
她知道她是怎么死的 发生了什么
She'd know how she died. You know, what happened.
这样我们就能彻底解开谜团了
So we'd be able to sort that out, once and for all.
你让这个可怜的女人死而复生
So you've brought this poor woman back to life
就为了问她她是怎么死的
so you can quiz her about how she died?
死人总是想讲述他们的故事 这样他们才能安息
The dead always want to tell their story so they can be at peace.
她没有安息
She's not at peace.
她和你还有该死的詹姆斯·柯登共处一室
She's in a room with you and James fuckin' Corden.
-憨豆先生 -虚构人物
- Mr. Bean. - Fictional.
明明是搞笑吧
Hilarious, more like.
你邀请了大富豪罗温·艾金森[憨豆先生扮演者]
You've invited multimillionaire Rowan Atkinson, right,
还有一个死了的女人以及詹姆斯·柯登去宴会
along to a dinner party with you, a dead woman, and James Corden,
你指望他能扮演
and you expect him to stay in character
3个小时的憨豆先生
for three hours as Mr. Fuckin' Bean?
邀请谁由我决定
It's up to me who I invite.
凯文·哈特
Kevin Hart,
世界上最逗的男人
funniest man in the world.
-4个了 对吗 -嗯
- That's four, innit? - Yeah.
迈克尔·杰克逊
Michael Jackson.
杰克逊要是来了 詹姆斯·柯登会射的吧
James Corden would come if Jacko walked in.
浸湿所有人
Just fuckin' drench everyone.
成熟点
You need to grow up.
史上最烂宴会
Worst dinner party ever.
棒极了
Oh, good.
忙吗
Busy?
努力在忙
Trying to be.
我从办公室里看 你不像在忙的样子
Watching from office, it doesn't look like you are.
看着她打扰我们工作吗
Watching her bothering us while we're trying to work?
你能做我安排你做的事吗 拜托了
Can you do what I asked you to do, please?
你应该教桑迪...
You're meant to be teaching Sandy--
她学到了很多
She's learning a lot.
拜托了
Please.
好了 来吧
Right, it's going. Come on.
-不要 -要
- No, come on. - Yeah.
-这太傻了 你会受伤的 -为什么
- This is stupid. You're gonna get hurt. - Why?
-因为你老了 -我不老
- Because you're old! - I'm not old.
-我老 我还醉了 -来吧
- I'm old. Look, I'm drunk. - Come on.
-我知道 你醉了更好 -不 这太傻了
- I know, but that's good if you're drunk. - No, it's stupid.
喝醉的人更有弹性 来吧
Drunk people, they sort of bounce. All right, come on.
我要是摔在你身上 我不会带你去急诊室
If I fall on you, I'm not taking you to A&E.
-好 -好了
- No. Okay. - Right, go. Go.
什么鬼
Stupid thing!
我飞起来了
I'm flying!
太棒了
Yes!
下来 亲爱的 下来
Let go, sweetie. Let go.
你对什么类型的新闻工作感兴趣
So what sort of journalism are you interested in?
你不用照看我
You don't have to babysit me.
我可以就坐在这儿
I'm happy to just sit here.
我喜欢安静
I like peace and quiet.
我和我父母还有兄弟姐妹住在一起
I live at home with my mum, dad, brother and sister, so...
家里经常很吵
the house can be quite full of life.
怎么了
What?
抱歉
I'm sorry.
怎么了 怎么了
What? What's the matter?
你很难过
You're sad.
没事 真的
It's fine, seriously.
我结婚了25年 婚姻非常美满
I was married for 25 years. It was brilliant.
现在结束了 不是你的错
Now it's over. It's not your problem.
-你不想要小孩吗 -不
- Did you not want any kids? - No.
烦死人了
Annoying little fuckers.
你还是可以很快乐
You can still be happy.
我会努力 不过你别哭了
I'll try, but stop crying
因为人们会以为我说了什么恶毒的话
because people will think I said summat awful.
-好 -好
- Okay. - Okay. Shhhh.
所以我不想要小孩 爱流鼻涕 可悲
See, this is why I don't want kids. They're too snotty and pathetic.
他要吃东西了 看着
I think he's gonna eat. Watch this.
他叫你看我吃东西 对吗
He told you to watch me eat, didn't he?
是的
Yeah.
-有何感想 -没什么
- Thoughts? - It's fine.
就是啊 我把食物放进我的嘴里
No, exactly. I put the food in my gob,
咀嚼 吞咽 跟所有人一样
I chew it, I swallow it, just like everyone else.
但从这儿看 看着就像是那种超级摄影
But from here, it looks like that super photography
他们把一只吃卷心菜的蜗牛放大一千倍
when they sort of magnify a snail, like one thousand times, eating a cabbage.
不会的 你永远不会看到我吃卷心菜
No, nothing like that. You'd never catch me eating cabbages.
我爷爷从来不吃卷心菜
My granddad never used to eat cabbages.
他像他一样死于糖尿病吗
Did he die of diabetes like he's gonna?
不是 肠癌
No, bowel cancer.
你吃纤维食物吗
Do you get any fiber in your diet?
有啊 很多
Yeah, loads.
-什么水果蔬菜 -一天应该要吃5份
- What fruit and veg? - Meant to have five a day.
-你一天吃多少 -10份
- How many portions do you have a day? - Ten.
-土豆不算 -那就没有
- Potatoes don't count. - None, then.
我的天 托尼
Oh, my God, Tony!
你真坏
You're such a dick!
-你画得很好 -谢谢
- That's really good. - Thanks.
我应该有帮到你吧
I like to think that I helped--
嗯 那里
Yeah, that bit.
你可以在那署名
You can sign that bit.
我被你吓到的那个地方
Yeah, where I jumped.
-你好吗 -挺好 乔治
- Hey. You all right? - Good. All right, George?
-我7点左右回来 -一定要是7点 我有事
- So I'll be back about seven. - Make sure it is. I've got that thing.
-嗯 别担心 到时见 -好
- Okay, no worries. See you then. - Yep.
在托尼叔叔家里要乖 乔治
Be a good boy for Uncle Tony, George!
最好不要提及你想自杀的事
Um, maybe don't bring up the wanting to kill yourself thing.
当然不会
As if I would.
抱歉 我知道 好
Sorry. Yeah, I know. Okay.
万一他提起了呢
What if he brings it up?
他为什么要提起
Why would he bring it up?
他不会的
He wouldn't.
笑话而已
It was a joke.
-再见 -再见
- All right, see ya later. - See ya later.
你想喝点什么吗
Do you want a drink?
好啊
Yes, please.
威士忌
Whiskey?
有...
And we've got--
可乐
Coke?
爸爸说丽莎阿姨去世后你就一直很伤心
Daddy says you're sad since Auntie Lisa died.
嗯
Yep.
我也伤心
I'm sad, too.
我有时会梦到她
I dream about her sometimes.
我也是
Me too.
为什么医生没治好她
Why didn't the doctors make her better?
他们努力了
They tried.
为什么耶稣没有救她
Why didn't Jesus save her?
因为他是混♥蛋♥
'Cause he's an arsehole.
-别告诉你♥爸♥妈我说了这话 -不会的
- Don't tell your mum and dad I said that. - I won't.
-你喝了茶吗 -没
- You had your tea? - No.
-饿了吗 -嗯
- Hungry? - Yeah.
要不要去小餐馆
Shall we go to the cafe?
-好 -那就走吧
- Yeah. - Yeah. Come on then.
-你有钱吗 -没
- You got any money? - No.
废物
Loser.
你想吃什么
What d'you fancy?
炸鱼条和豆子
Fish fingers and beans.
不错
Good choice.
我就点这个好了
Think I'll have that.
-需要吃点什么 -我们要炸鱼条和豆子
- What can I get for ya? - We're having the fish fingers and beans.
不好意思 那是儿童菜单上的
That's only on the children's menu, I'm afraid.
嗯 我不是很饿
Yeah, I'm not very hungry.