后半生

他们可以为所欲为而不用承担后果
they can get away with being shit, you know?
我前几天在路上走
I was wound up the other day
被我旁边的一个女人惹怒了
by a woman walking along the street next to me,
她拖着双脚摩擦着走路 不肯
and she was shuffling. She wouldn't pick her- -
不肯把脚抬起来
Pick your fuckin' feet up.
没人教你怎么走路吗
Has no one ever told you how to fuckin' walk?
你是成年人了
You're an adult.
我昨天想揍一个小餐馆里的人
I wanted to punch a bloke in the cafe yesterday
他打呵欠的声音巨大
for yawning too loudly.
他像这样
He was doing this...
闭嘴吧 没人在乎你
Shut the fuck up! No one cares.
就像是在庆祝自己累了
It's like celebrating being tired.
我们都会被一些事给惹恼 懂吗
We all get irritated by things, okay?
我讨厌人们吃金汤力里面的冰块
I hate people who eat the ice in their gin and tonics.
我也是
So do I.
但我打赌你最先想到的不是"我希望他噎着
But I bet your first thought isn't, "I hope he chokes on that,
然后在地上喘气的时候
and as he's on the floor gasping for air,
我就凑过去对他说
I wanna lean in and go,
这就是你吃冰块的下场 傻♥逼♥"
"That's what you get for eating ice, you fuckin' moron."
确实不是
No, it isn't.
欢迎进入我的大脑
Welcome to the contents of my head.
不好意思
Excuse me.
-有空关心下无家可归的小孩吗 -抱歉 没有
- Spare a moment for homeless children? - Sorry, no.
不关心贫困孩子
Oh, don't care about children in poverty then?
暂时不 我还有更大的问题
Not at the moment. I've got bigger problems.
有比贫困孩子更大的问题吗
Do bigger problems exist than the desperate poverty of a child?
抱歉 我以为说我很忙就够了
Sorry, I thought me saying I was busy was enough.
何必让我感到内疚 别给我来利他主义那套
What's the guilt tripping? And don't give me this altruism shit.
你不是志愿者 人人都知道你有钱拿
You're not a volunteer. Everyone knows you're getting paid.
你才不关心
You don't give a fuck about the
慈善或者贫困孩子 你想要钱
charity or poverty-stricken kids. You want money.
我的钱实际上是在给你发工资 你个小混♥蛋♥
I'd effectively be paying your wages, you wiry, little twat.
四眼田鸡
Four-eyes!
我能上报纸吗
Please can I be in the paper?
凭什么
For what?
我
Me.
-我的故事 -什么故事
- My story. - What story?
我有故事
I've got stories.
你们什么故事都会报道 对吗
You'll do stories about anything in here, won't you?
上周的是什么 "女子在树上发现帽子"
What was it last week, "Woman Finds Hat in a Tree"?
拜托
Please...
到我家来看看
come and have a look at my home.
-为什么 -这只是冰山一角
- Why? - This is just the tip of the iceberg.
你们不知道的可多了
You don't know.
我相信你
No, I believe you.
是 无阻 无主珍宝
It's a tr-- trevor tro-- treasure trove.
-你说起来倒容易 -多年来收集的东西
- Easy for you to say. - Collected loads of things over the years.
纪念品 奖杯还有
Memorabilia and trophies and...
我的英勇事迹
my exploits.
如果还不能说服你
If you're not convinced,
我保证以后绝不会再来打扰
I promise I'll never darken your door again.
所以如果我们去一趟你的家
So if we come and look at your house,
你就不会再来打扰我们
you'll never bother us--
永远不会
Never. No.
这会让我很开心
It'll make my year.
你想去看看吗
D'you wanna go have a look?
好
Yeah.
请带上新来的妹子
Please bring the new girl.
你想看我们采访吗
D'you want to watch us cover this story?
-好啊 -嗯
- Yeah. All right. - Yeah?
到了
Here we go.
进来吧
Here we are.
-我♥操♥ -进来吧
- Fuckin' hell. - Come in.
这是饭厅
This is the dining room.
进来
Okay, come through.
这就是我一直在说的 这是
This is what I've been talking about. This is...
有什么问题吗
Questions?
这是什么味道
What's that smell?
你指哪个
Which one?
就像喉咙后面有东西在抓一样
Like a clawing thing in the back of the throat.
-喉咙后面 死老鼠 -嗯
- Back of the throat. Dead mice. - Yeah- -
里屋 后墙角 我几年前
Back of the room. Back corner. Basically, I put some traps there
在那里放了些圈套 但现在我没法进去 所以
a couple of years ago, and I can't get to them, so...
还有问题吗
Any other questions?
-那是什么 -蟑螂
- What are they? - Cockroaches.
我收集蟑螂
I collect them.
基本上 这些小家伙是
Basically, these little fellas are um--
-别打开 -好
- Don't open it. - Okay.
我的规矩是 如果你们到我的地盘 就得听我的
My rule is, if you come onto my property, then I own you.
懂吗
Okay?
第三个问题
Question three?
你这样子多久了
How long have you been doing this?
我妻子什么时候离开的我
When did my wife leave me?
7年了
Seven years.
7年前
Seven years ago.
我想我可以对这里为所欲为
I just thought I could do what I like with the place.
于是我就这么干了
So I just went for it.
这让我想到下一个问题
Yeah, which brings me to my next question,
-别误会 -不会的
- and don't take this the wrong way... - No.
你为什么从没想过自杀
Why have you never considered suicide?
有的
I have.
那你为什么没有实施呢
And why... didn't you go through with it?
因为我觉得这样就太便宜我了
Because I decided it was too good for me.
这就是我的情况
That's what you're dealing with.
-喝茶吗 -不要
- Cup of tea? - Definitely not.
好的
Okay.
布莱恩 这不适合本地报纸 我要怎么
Brian, this isn't right for a local paper. How can I do a--
这里没有新闻可报道 伙计
There's no story here, mate.
我能留下看看有无新闻可挖掘吗
Can I stay and try and find one?
-真的吗 -嗯
- Really? - Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
再见
See you later.
-再见 布莱恩 -嗯
- Cheers, Brian. - Yeah.
-谢谢 -拜
- Thank you. - Bye.
你去哪
Where are you going?
-我跟你走 -不行
- I'm coming with you. - No, you're not.
别让她和他单独相处
Don't leave her with him.
-好臭 -嗯
- It stinks. - Yeah.
你想知道什么 你想去哪
What d'you wanna know? Where'd you wanna go?
给我看看你有什么
Just show me what you've got, really.
我有什么 不如问我没有什么
What I've got? What haven't I got?
好的 谢谢
Okay, thank you. Yeah.
谢谢告知我
No, thanks for letting me know.
大家好 你们好
Hello, everybody! Hello!
大家好 你们好
Hello, everybody! Hello.
大家来打招呼
Say hello, everybody.
-你好 -你好
- Hello. - Hello.
你好 庞奇先生
Hello, Mr. Punch.
你好 庞奇夫人 你最近在干什么
Hello, Mrs. Punch. What are you up to?
没什么 没什么
Oh, nothing much. Nothing much.
你明明有 你和吉普赛人米奇搞在一起了
Yes, you have. You've been shagging Mickey the Gypsy.
不 我没有
No, I haven't.
你有
Yes, you have.
冷静 布莱恩
Ooh, calm down, Brian.
冷静 你叫我冷静
Calm down? You're telling me to calm down?
你让我成了村子里的笑柄
Huh? You've made me a laughing stock around the village,
她竟然叫我冷静
and she's telling me to calm down.
只有会动的她都要与之发♥生♥关♥系♥
She's been shagging anything that moves.
18个月来 她一直在格林小道上和吉普赛人米奇交♥媾♥
For 18 months, she's shagging Mickey the Gypsy down Green Lane.
我妻子是荡♥妇♥ 这就是你们的头条新闻
My wife is a slut. There's your headline.