教师情事（2020）

立誓入会的人 注意
Pledges, take note.
这就是欧米伽·卡帕·贝塔会的人该有的样子
This is what Omega Kappa Beta material fucking looks like.
灌 灌 灌 灌
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
他妈的埃里克·沃克
Eric fucking Walker!
-我去 -耶
‐ Damn. ‐ Yeah!
耶
Yeah!
这才像样 懂吗
That is what I'm talking about, all right?
下一个该谁
Who's up next?
我罩着你 哥们
Man, I fucking got you, bro.
-是啊 -我罩着你
‐ Hell yeah. ‐ I fucking got you.
是啊 哥们
Hell yeah, bro.
别吐在我身上就行
Just don't blow any chunks on me.
哥们
Hey, man!
我去
Damn, bro.
你还好吗
So‐‐so you good?
-第一周还行吗 -嗯 目前为止很好
‐ First week been good? ‐ Yeah, so far, so good.
-是吗 -嗯
‐ Yeah? ‐ Yeah.
听着 有什么需要 来找我就是 懂吗
Listen, you need anything at all, you fucking come to me, okay?
-我会处理 -你知道我需要什么吗
‐ I'll take care of it. ‐ Do you know what I need?
-什么 -那个
‐ What? ‐ That.
他肯定不需要
He definitely doesn't need it.
-干杯 -干杯 兄弟
‐ Cheers. ‐ Cheers, dude.
教师情事
第一季 第七集
哥们 等等
Dude, wait.
尽量睁大你的眼睛
Yo...just, like, open your eyes as wide as you can.
尽量睁大
Open‐‐open 'em as wide as you can.
我在尽力了
I'm trying.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
看看这家伙
Look at this guy.
你们是室友吗
Wait, so y'all are‐‐y'all are roommates?
-嗯 -嗯
- Yeah. - Yeah.
-你哪里人 -休斯顿
- Where are you from? - Houston.
棒 我们这有很多休斯顿的人
Oh, word. We got a lot of Houston boys up in here. Hmm?
是的
Yep.
蜥蜴很奇葩
Lizards are...crazy, man.
就像是龙什么的
It's like a dragon or some shit.
那是卡斯皮安
That's fucking Caspian.
它是我的情感支持动物
He is my emotional support animal.
别笑 哥们
Don't fucking laugh, bro.
那蜥蜴比任何人都了解我
That lizard knows me better than anybody, man.
我养了13年了
I've had him for, like, 13 years.
我不需要告诉你欧米伽
I don't need to tell you Omega's the only frat
是你唯一应该考虑加入的兄弟会吧
you should even be considering rushing right?
-没错 -我的兄弟总是给我撑腰
‐ Preach. ‐ My brothers always got my back.
我内心很清楚
I know that shit in my heart.
一辈子都是欧米伽·卡帕·贝塔会的人
It's Omega Kappa Beta for life, baby.
你知道女生总是会为欧米茄的人脱裤子
And you know panties always drop for the Omega.
好了 好了
Ay! All right, all right.
-闭嘴 -好了
- Yo, shut the fuck up. - Okay, okay.
你不能坐在这儿
All right, you're not gonna sit here, man,
抽我的大♥麻♥ 喝我的酒
and fucking smoke my weed and drink my booze
却不跟我讲上你老师的事
without telling me about you banging your teacher, man.
什么
What?
你不会以为我不会告诉他
You didn't think I wasn't gonna tell him that
一个传奇人物要立誓加入吧
a fucking legend was pledging?
天 我来理清一下 你搞定了一个性感的
Come on. Okay, Let me‐‐let me get this straight. You nailed a hot...
-最性感的 -最性感的老师
‐ Mm, the hottest. ‐ The fucking hottest teacher
在你是她学生期间
while you were her student?
你跟你老师上♥床♥
You hooked up with your teacher?
是的 很多次
Yes, bro, like, multiple times,
然后 砰 把她送进了监狱
and then‐‐bang‐‐ sent her ass to jail,
像个野蛮人一样
like a fucking a savage.
我♥操♥
Holy shit.
她不是在清洁工储物间里
Yeah, bro, didn't she, like, suck you off
给你口了吗
in the janitors' closet or something?
-她多大 -她奶♥子♥有神吗
- How old was she? - She got perky tits?
有神的奶♥子♥还是老年奶♥子♥
Perky tits or, like, older titties?
就是打盹的奶♥子♥
You know, titties taking a nap.
-说说吧 -快说啊
- Come on, bro. - Come on, man.
你得给我们点细节 我们饿死了
You gotta give us some details, bro. We're starving, man.
不了 我不想说
No, man, come on. I'm good.
这是我这辈子听过的最精彩的事
This is the best shit I've ever heard in my life.
我向你鞠躬 哥们
I bow down to you, bro.
我们都向你鞠躬 埃里克
Dude, we all bow down to you, Eric.
拜托 这太强了
Come on, it's fucking awesome.
开导开导我
Just enlighten me, man. Okay?
她是有浓密的阴毛
Did she have, like, a full‐‐full bush
还是 修剪成了一条直线
or just, like, a little itty‐bitty landing strip?
-对哦 还有这个 -别得寸进尺了 淡定
- Shit, yes, that. - All right, just cool it. Yo, chill. Chill.
他不想回答 别烦他了
He doesn't wanna answer the question. Leave him alone.
或许他想 或许他想
Maybe he does. Maybe he does.
一条直线
Landing strip.
天呐
God!
这才是欧米伽人干的事 各位
Some real Omega shit, right there, y'all.
-你在逗我吗 -他真是个变♥态♥
- Are you kidding me? - He's a psycho, man.
你太牛了
You're a champ.
-他太牛了 -过来 兄弟
- He's a champ. - Get in there, bro.
-喝吧 来吧 -带劲儿
- Do it, man. Hell yeah. - Yes!
简直是传奇 未来的欧米茄人
Goddamn legend. Future Omega right here!
天呐
Oh, my God!
不会吧
No way.
怎么了
What?
闭嘴
Shut up.
不 怎么了 告诉我
No, what? Tell me.
太爽了 就是这样
It's fucking astounding. That's what.
-是吗 -对 妙不可言
‐ Oh, yeah? ‐ Yeah, amazing.
等我一下
Okay, just give me a second.
然后 你等着 先生
And then...just you wait, mister.
怎么样
How's that?
嗯 很舒服
Yeah, it's nice.
我知道你是谁
I know who you are.
嗯 我叫埃里克
Yeah. My name's Eric.
-我在派对上告诉你了 -不是
- I told you at the party. - No.
我是说
No, I mean,
我知道你和你老师的风流韵事
I know about you and your teacher.
我去了梅菲尔德 这在那算是个大事
I went to Mayfield, and it was, like, a huge deal there.
我在派对上看到了你 心想"天呐 是他"
I saw you at the party, and I was like, "Holy shit, it's him."
是她教你刚才的那些招数吗
Did she teach you to do what you just did?
是
Yeah.
她还教了我许多其他的本事
She taught me a whole lot of other stuff too.
你想见识下吗
You wanna see?
谢谢
Thank you.
-来了 -正等着呢
- All right. - Hell yeah.
不客气 兄弟
Yeah, buddy.
解解酒
Little hair of the dog.
庆祝度过了一个美好的夜晚
Cheers to a great night.
我觉得洛根不会去参加康奈尔的招新会了
Mm, so I don't think Logan's gonna rush at Cornell.
什么
What?
他们好像让他四肢跪地
I guess they made him crawl around
在德尔塔·斐姐妹会的姑娘面前爬 然后他哭了
on all fours in front of the Delta Phi girls, and he fucking cried.
天呐
Oh, my God.
他昨晚打给我了
He called me last night.
他本来还想装酷的 说什么
He tried to play it off all cool, like,
"你懂的 我觉得
"Yeah, you know, I just decided that
我其实不太喜欢那些了"
I'm not really that into it anymore."
你最近跟他联♥系♥了吗
You talk to him lately?
没有
No.
没 开学后就没联♥系♥了
No, not since school started.
见鬼 你该打给他 让他清醒下
Oh, shit. Well, you should call him, you know, set his ass straight.
-当然 -这肉真好吃
‐ Oh, for sure. ‐ This brisket's so good.