不知该从何讲起
Hard to know where to start.
看来要从我的视角讲述圣周五谋杀案
I guess to tell the story of the Good Friday murder through my eyes,
就得从这边讲起
I got to start here.
九个月前 当一个混♥蛋♥执事出言不逊
Nine months ago, when this asshole deacon said something way out of line,
我做了这件事
and I did this.
糟糕
Oh, shit.
所以你觉得自己是斗士
So, you're a fighter, then?
不 神父 绝对不是
Uh, no, Father, absolutely not.
这里有位执事不会这么说 如果他下巴没被打断的话
Well, we have a deacon who would say otherwise if his jaw wasn't broken.
没错 我在上一段人生曾是拳击手
In my previous life, yes, I was a boxer,
我混迹街头 做过其他事情
and I lived on the streets. I did some other things.
现在我们很需要斗士 但是要对抗这世界
We need fighters today, but to fight the world,
而不是自己人
not ourselves.
司铎是牧羊人 这世界则是一匹狼
A priest is a shepherd. The world is a wolf.
不对
No.
我不这么认为 神父 恕我直言
I... I don't believe that, Father, respectfully.
你一旦开始与狼群战斗 没多久
You start fighting wolves, and before you know it,
就会把所有无法理解的人视为狼
everyone you don't understand is a wolf.
我仍拥有战斗本能 今天的我屈服于本能
I still got that fighting instinct, and I gave into it today,
但基♥督♥降世是为了治愈 不是战斗
but Christ came to heal the world, not fight it.
我是如此相信
I believe that.
是这样 而不是这样 你们懂吗
It's this, not this, you know?
我只想当个称职的司铎
I just want to be a good priest.
让像我一样破碎的人 看到基♥督♥的爱与宽恕
Show broken people like me the forgiveness and love of Christ.
这世界非常需要
The world needs that so bad.
只要再给我一次机会 我保证会做到
You give me one more shot, and I promise I'll do that.
阁下
Your Excellency,
你多次冒险为我说话
you stuck your neck out for me so many times.
我辜负你了 无论... - 够了
I let you down, and whatever the-- - All right.
听着...
Listen...
克拉克执事是个出名的混♥蛋♥
Deacon Clark is famously a dick.
根本没什么人不爽你揍他
Nobody's actually that upset that you clocked him.
其实正好相反
In fact, kind of the opposite.
但我们的确需要做出惩处
But we do need to do something about it.
我们要派你去烟囱岩的一个小教区
We're sending you to a small parish in Chimney Rock.
那里现在只有一位司铎
It's just one priest there now.
助理司铎
Assistant pastor?
别那么兴奋
Yeah, well, curb your enthusiasm.
怎么了
What?
你要去的是万毅圣母堂
You're going to Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude,
那里由杰弗逊维克斯蒙席主事 你听说过杰弗逊维克斯吗
led by Monsignor Jefferson Wicks. Have you heard of Jefferson Wicks?
好 听着 这里有人支持维克斯 但我不是其中之一
Okay, look, Wicks has his supporters here. I'm not one of them.
这些话只跟你说
Between you and me,
我认为他脑筋不太正常 而且是个十足的混♥蛋♥
I think he's a few beads shy of a full rosary and a real son of a bitch.
但无可辩驳的是 他的信众在缩水 甚至可说是僵化
But what's undeniable is that his flock is shrinking and even calcifying.
那里需要一点 你在里面提到的东西 你懂吧
It could use some of what you said in there. You understand?
不太懂 但好的
Not at all, but yes.
没问题...
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
我有圣灵保佑 让我给他好看 - 嘿
Spirit's got me. Let me at him. - Hey. Hey, hey.
是这样 不是这样 对吧
This, not this, right? Mm?
祝你好运 孩子
Good luck, kid.
那就是我来烟囱岩的缘由
So, that's how I came to Chimney Rock.
被丢到狮子巢穴的但以理
Daniel in the lion's den.
大卫对抗歌♥利亚
David facing off Goliath.
年轻鲁莽 又忠于基♥督♥
Young, dumb, and full of Christ.
(万毅圣母堂)
蓄势待发
Ready for anything.
杰弗逊神父
Father Jefferson?
你好 我是奥巴尼的贾德杜普伦西
Hello. Jud Duplenticy from Albany?
愿主与你同在 奥巴尼的贾德杜普伦西
Lord be with you, Jud Duplenticy from Albany.
你是来抢走我教堂的吗
You here to take my church away from me?
不是
Oh. No.
很好
Good.
叫我维克斯蒙席
Okay, call me Monsignor Wicks.
看来你见过玛莎了
I see you've met Martha.
玛莎 没有啊
Martha? No.
维克斯蒙席 - 我的老天
Monsignor Wicks. - Jesus!
我早起擦银器 看起来有点污渍
I woke up early to polish the silver. It was a bit blotchy.
那样就可以了 玛莎
That'll be fine, Martha.
贾德...神父
Father... Jud.
这里非常欢迎你
You are welcome here.
谢谢你 玛莎
Thank you, Martha. - Mm.
我正在跟维克斯神父说...
I was actually just saying to Father Wicks...
是维克斯蒙席
Monsignor Wicks.
蒙席 对 抱歉
Monsignor, right. Sorry.
抱歉我刚刚吓到讲出「老天」
And sorry for saying "Jesus".
目前应该还算顺利
Hoo. This is going great, I think.
是兰斯壮主教派你来的吧
Bishop Langstrom sent you, huh? - Mm-hmm.
兰斯壮
Langstrom.
我们很熟
I know him well.
他亲自选中你 派你过来
He handpicked you, sent you here.
这就透露出一些讯息
It says something to me.
非常多讯息
Tells me a lot.
我...我知道你习惯独自行动 但是...
Well, I... I know you're used to flying solo, but, um...
我...是来侍奉的
I'm... I'm here to serve.
来听我告解
Take my confession.
好的
All right.
神父 请降福我 我有罪
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
距离...
It's been, uh,
我上次告解 已经过了六周
six weeks since my last confession.
我曾羡慕他人的物质财富
I've envied the material wealth of others.
我看到阿参电视上 在播的豪华广♥告♥ 是凌志
I saw this luxury car commercial. Sam had it on his TV. Lexus.
我心想
And I thought,
「那辆车真好看」
"Ah! That is a good-looking car."
那是双门轿车
The coupe.
我曾羡慕伟人的权力
Uh... I've envied the power of great men.
羡慕我爷爷担任司铎时 手握的权力 好想要
Envied my grandfather's power as a priest. I wanted that.
向来如此
Always did.
我这周...
I've masturbated,
自♥慰♥了四次
um, four times this week.
四五次吧 总共的话...六周下来
Four or five, generally, in... What'd I say, six weeks?
我大概自♥慰♥了三十次
Well, let's say 30 times, masturbated.
这周的话 有一次是早晨在我床上
Uh, this week, in my bed, in the morning once.
有一次是在洗澡时 我站着 所以很方便
Once in the shower, standing up, which was convenient.
只要用沐浴乳
Just use a bath gel.
有一次是在半夜 我刚梦到...
Oh, once in the middle of the night, after a dream about--
没关系 - 日本的那种猫咪咖啡厅
That's all right. - About one of those Japanese cat cafés.
好了 - 我在报导中看过的
Okay. - You know, I read this article,
但里面其实是猫娘 然后 你懂的...
but the cats were girls, and, you know, so...
我是临时起意
And I hadn't prepared,
所以不得不射在 《天主教纪事》杂♥志♥上
so I had to finish into a copy of Catholic Chronicle magazine,
杂♥志♥刚好放在茶几上 那本身应该也是一种罪
just what was on the end table, which is probably its own kind of sin.
不知道 或许不是吧 但那样...不优
I don't know, maybe not, but... Not good.
当时的我只觉得很奇怪
At the time, I thought this was just weird.
但现在回想起来 我懂了
But looking back now, I know.
那是维克斯出的第一拳
This was Wicks' first punch.
五遍《圣母经》 一遍《光荣颂》
Five Hail Marys and one Glory Be.
谢谢你 神父
Thank you, Father.
也不会是最后一拳
It wouldn't be his last.
欢迎你
Oh, and welcome
来我的教堂
to my church.
接下来几周的我
Over the next few weeks, I settled in
在万毅圣母堂安顿下来
at Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude.
(《天主教纪事》)
唯一的另一个全职员工 是管♥理♥员♥参孙
The only other full-time employee was the groundskeeper, Samson.
阿参
Sam.
维克斯蒙席
It's Monsignor Wicks
让我每天拥有不屈服于酒瘾的力量
who gives me the strength every day to not go back to the bottle.
他以前也会喝酒
He used to drink too.
但他曾对我说 「我能克服这心魔 你一定也可以」
But he said to me once, "If I can stave off that demon, you can."
每天都是一个挑战
And every day, it is a struggle.
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