新邻里联防（2012）

Cheers. We're in the game.
敬好邻巡逻队 好啊!
To the Watch. Boom!
喔麦尬 曼蒂办的趴好棒
"OMG,Mandy's party is so awesome."
有你的 曼蒂
Good for Mandy.
雀儿喜跟杰森大喇舌! 喔麦尬!
这是在开我玩笑吧?
Fricking kidding me,right?
雀儿喜!
Chelsea!
爸 你搞啥啊!
Dad,what the eff!
少来这一套 小狼狗杰森是谁?
Don't "eff" me. Who's this boy toy named Jason?
小狼狗?
Boy toy?
他是怎样?
What's his toy story?
等等 你又偷看我的脸书了?
Wait,were you creeping on my Facebook again?
你在开我玩笑吗?
Are you kidding me?
你要让某人用舌头替你刷牙...
You're going to let some guy carwash the inside of your mouth...
然后PO上网?
with his tongue,and then you're going to post it on the Internet?
别在网路上跟踪我了好吗?
Stop internet-stalking me,okay?
离开我的房♥间
Just get out of my room.
你不会看到你妈跟我
You don't see me and your mom
把我们的房♥事PO上网吧?
posting our sessions on the Internet?
恶心死了!
Ew! That's disgusting!
你觉得这给我什么感觉? 恶心死了
How do you think that makes me feel? It is disgusting.
舌头不要乱伸
You keep your tongue in your mouth.
这面拼贴是怎么回事?
And what's going on with this collage?
愈来愈像脱衣舞娘放春假了
This is moving in the direction of strippers on spring break.
这是我朋友的拼贴
That's a collage of my friends,Dad.
这些事让人不酥胡
The whole thing is uncomfortable.
雀儿喜 这个情况让我不酥胡
I'm not comfortable with what's going on,Chelsea.
你不舒服就出去啊!
If you're uncomfortable, then get out!
要先爱后性
Sex is for love.
先爱后性
"Sex is for love."
这么办吧 移除影片
Here's what's happening now, the video is off.
好 爸 我会移除影片
Okay,Dad,I'm going to get the video off.
我们有问题 好 拜托你出去
We got a problem. Okay,please,get out.
休士顿 我们有问题
Houston,we have a problem.
很好 谈话很有建设性
That's good. Really productive conversation.
我们应该多聊聊
We should do more of it.
就差一点
Right on the edge.
你差一点就要被我处罚
You're right on the edge.
"好市多命案 安东尼奥古兹曼"
"葛林威高中"
"意外 我们撞到什么?"
"章鱼? 寿司?"
我得聊聊"
"跟我在席卡摩路碰面"
"很急"
老兄
Hey. Hey,buddy.
坐吧 我替你留了座位
Come on, I saved a seat for you.
你说你很急
You said you were desperate.
来 坐吧
Here,take a load off.
我知道我们想逮好市多的杀人凶手...
Look,I know we're trying to catch the Costco killer,but...
...两个人坦诚聊聊很好吧?
...it's good to have an honest heart-to-heart with just a couple of guys,right?
好样的 坐吧 进来
There's my boy. Bring it down here. Get in here.
诚实最重要 对吗?
It's all about honesty,right? Mmm.
我对我女儿开诚布公
I've been being honest with my daughter,
我觉得她听不进去
I don't think she wants to hear it.
我老婆经常出差...
My wife's been travelling so much for work...
最近都由我来带小孩
that a lot of the parenting stuff has fallen on me lately.
那你呢?
How about you?
你什么时候要生小孩?
When are you going to take the plunge and knock a few out?
事情没那么简单
It's not that simple.
很简单 插♥进♥去就行了
Well,it's about as simple as putting your dick in a vagina.
懂我的意思吗? 做就对了
You know what I mean? Make it happen.
我实在没有选择
Well,I really don't have a choice.
其实我的枪...
It turns out that my gun...
射得... 不太好
doesn't really... shoot too well.
枪?
Gun?
你是说你的屌♥?
You mean your prick?
你干嘛这么含蓄?
Why are you saying "gun"?
这里就只有我们两个男人
It's just two guys,sitting on a bench.
你可以明讲 说屌♥ 说老二
You can say it. Say "prick," say "cock."
就说屌♥吧
Just say "prick."
总之 你吞个两颗蓝色小药丸
Anyway,then you take a couple of those blue bombers.
鸡鸡就威风了
You got to get that whang nice and stiff.
你会变成大老二 真的
It'll get you all monstered up. Oh,it will.
然后立刻变成操人冠军
And then you'll be fucking like a champ in no time.
我有个朋友可以给你一点
I know a guy that'll give you some,
我在墨西哥也买♥♥了一些...
and I got some from Mexico...
问题不在那里
That's not the problem.
我拿点墨西哥的药给你
I'll get you some of those Mexican bombs.
我什么都能做 只是...
I can do everything. It's just that...
一年半前... 好
About a year and a half ago... Okay.
...艾比跟我开始努力做人
...Abby and I started trying to have kids.
结果什么也没有
And nothing was happening.
所以我自己去看医生检查精♥子♥
So,on my own,I went to see this doctor to get my sperm checked.
这件事一直让我纳闷
I've always wondered about that.
我很好奇 你不要介意
I've had a curiosity, if you don't mind.
你去找这种医生的时候...
When you go to one of those doctors...
你是自己打手♥枪♥ 还是医生替你打
do you jerk yourself off,or does the doctor jerk you off?
还是有助理咧?
Or an assistant?
那里像按♥摩♥院吗?
Is it like a massage parlor?
还是他们有仪器帮你取精♥液♥?
Or do they have a medical machine that does the milking for you?
就像替动物挤奶一样
Like,milks you like an animal.
我想知道你怎么把精♥液♥弄出来
I'm asking how you get the cum out of you.
我... 他们会弄
I... They do it.
不是 我自己打手♥枪♥
No,I jerk me off.
好
Okay.
不重要 重点是我去做了检查
Doesn't matter. The point is,I went,I got tested.
结果... 没东西
And... no go.
我打的是空包弹
I'm shooting blanks.
就算我射了一整桶也没用
I could shoot a bucketful, it would make no difference.
医生真的说"一整桶"
The doctor's actual words. "A bucketful."
因为我的关系 我们不能生小孩
It's because of me we can't have kids.
纯粹是我
Just me.
我不知道这种事会这么大条
I didn't realize that that's such a big deal.
现在是二零一二年
I mean,it's 2012.
你不能移植蛋蛋吗?
Can't you just get a ball transplant?
对啊 我想现在还没有这种技术
Yeah,I don't think the science is there yet.
你告诉太座时 她说啥?
What did the old lady say when you told her?
伊凡 别告诉我你还没跟她说
Evaroony,don't tell me that you haven't talked to her about it.
我要说什么?
What am I going to say?
老婆 你猜怎样
"Hey,honey,guess what."
我不能给你最想要的东西
"The one thing you want most in the world,I can't give you."
伊凡 你听我说
Evan,you listen to me.
去跟艾比聊聊
You talk to Abby.
她嫁的是你
She married you.
不是你的死精♥子♥
Not your dead jizz.
谢了
Thanks.
我是伊凡崔维
Evan Trautwig.
我是曼福萨利伯里
This is Manfred Salisbury.
你在我的屋顶上吗? 什么?
Are you on my roof? What?
有人在我的屋顶上跟疯子一样乱跳
There is somebody on my roof, jumping around like a maniac.
那是你们其中一个白♥痴♥吗?
Is that one of you idiots?
绝对不是
It most certainly is not.
你等等 我们马上就到
Please,just hang tight, Mr. Salisbury,we'll be right there.
你们一定会
Yeah,I bet you will.
我们得去曼福家 打给队员 走吧
We have to get to Manfred's. Call the Watch,come on.
这里没人
Nobody's here.
真的吗?
Seriously?
你有在屋顶上看到人吗?
Did you see anybody on the roof?
没有
No.
好 我们应该分头带开
Okay,we should fan out.
法兰克林 你跟鲍伯上车
Franklin,you and Bob get in the car.
到附近查查看有没有动静
Check the block,see if you get any action.
贾马克斯跟我绕到后面 好
Jamarcus and I will go around back. Okay.
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