新邻里联防（2012）

法兰克林 不准走
Franklin, you're not going anywhere.
鲍伯 你女儿不是我们的正事
Bob,your daughter is not official business.
我们得追出杀人凶手
Our mandate is to pursue murderers,
小偷跟外星人
and thieves,and aliens...
还有任何想破坏这个社区的人
and anyone who threatens to tear the fabric of this neighborhood apart.
身为老爸 我得去追...
My mandate,as a father, is to pursue little pricks...
想破坏我女儿处♥女♥膜的混♥蛋♥
that try to tear the fabric of my daughter's hymen apart.
不准走 你敢
Don't you walk away. Don't you dare.
我敢啊!
Oh,I dare!
有够烂! 有够烂!
This sucks! This sucks!
闭嘴!
Shut up!
我是鸟
I'm a bird.
他们听不到我的声音 白♥痴♥
They can't hear me,idiot.
好了 我们走吧
We're good. Let's go.
听起来像有人在里面被开肠破肚
It sounds like somebody's getting ripped apart in there.
味道又重又臭
Smells funky and musty.
你们有看到啥好玩的吗?
Do you see anything interesting?
你没事吧? 你还好吗?
You okay? Are you okay?
我没事
I'm okay.
嗨 保罗
Hi,Paul.
嗨 伊凡
Hi,Evan.
你还好吗?
Phew! You all right?
你吓到我们了
You scared us.
这位肌内哥是谁?
And who is this mountain of a man?
我叫贾马克斯
My name's Jamarcus.
贾马克斯
Jamarcus.
请进吧?
Shall we?
谢谢你带我过来 有够香艳刺♥激♥
Thanks for taking me here. This is erotic as hell.
大鲍伯 你女儿在十二点钟方向
Big Bob,you got daughter at 12 o'clock.
把她带走吗?
Move to extraction?
大兵 别动作
Stand down,seal six.
如果我们冲进去
If we go in there hot, we'll humiliate her
她在学校就不用混了
for the rest of her high school days.
不动声色收集情资吧
Let's just lay low. Just taking in intel.
你看 好市多那个人老二在那里
Look,there's that kid from Costco with the big fat dick.
晃着他的大屌♥走来走去
Walking around with his massive cock,
一副这里是他的管区
like he owns the joint.
他的屌♥都弹到他的膝盖了
That shit's just banging against his kneecaps.
跟你赌二十块...
Twenty bucks...
...他撇条时老二会浸到马桶水
...that guy's dick dips into the toilet when he takes a shit.
美眉
Hey,girl.
喜欢吧! 谁是你的爹地?
Dig that shit! Dig that shit. Who's your daddy?
我是她的爹地 你这人♥渣♥!
I'm her daddy, you piece of shit!
来爹地的房♥间吧 好
Come to daddy's bedroom. Okay.
是主卧室喔!
It's the master bedroom. Ooh!
快走
Let's move ass.
我们要往哪? 往下!
Which way are we going? Down! Down!
各位 这边请
Right this way,gentlemen.
你先请 贾马克斯 谢谢你
Please,after you. Thank you,Jamarcus.
保罗 你家很棒 我喜欢这油漆
It's a nice place you got here,Paul. I like the paint.
伊凡崔维 谢谢你...
Thank you, Evan Trautwig...
我也要给你类似的恭维
and allow me to pay you a compliment in kind.
我看着你在外头慢跑...
I see you out there, jogging...
常常会想 天啊
and I often think to myself,"My God."
好完美的标本
"What a perfect specimen."
抱歉 是两个完美的标本
Excuse me, two perfect specimens.
两位...
Gentlemen...
跟你们熟悉的世界说再见吧
Say goodbye to the world as you know it.
再来!
More!
跟天堂说哈啰吧
And say hello to paradise.
欢迎光临人类精神的圣殿...
Welcome to the sanctuary of the human spirit,gents...
因为今晚 我们要追求自♥由♥...
because tonight is all about freedom...
有些人要追求性♥爱♥
and,some about boning.
我想电池的谜底揭晓了
I think we solved the battery mystery.
进来吧 水温刚刚好
Come on in,boys. The water is just right.
拍得有够好
Yeah,the cinematography is unreal.
一定会拿到最佳影片
It's definitely going to win Best Picture.
要换手吗? 好
Switch? Yeah.
好恶
This is disgusting.
这里好臭 我错了 我们走吧
It stinks in here. Come on,I was wrong. Let's go.
你介意我舔你的蛋蛋吗?
Hey,do you mind if I suck on your balls?
我要走着瞧
I'm going to see how this plays out.
我要闪了
I'm going.
来了
Oh,here we go.
我再跟你要名字
I'll get your name in due course.
麦亚利斯特先生
Mr. McAllister.
曼蒂 你的趴开很大喔
Mandy,this is quite a gathering you got cooking here.
我有点惊讶
I'm a little surprised.
西洋棋社的人现在出来有点晚了
It's a little late for the chess club to be out.
这是啥?
What have we got here?
一点草 一点龙舌兰酒
A little weed, a little tequila.
逊咖 猛的东西在哪?
Where's the hard stuff, pussies?
你们是双胞胎吗? 对
Are you guys twins? Yes.
天啊 我根本分不出谁是谁
Oh,my gosh. I can't even tell you guys apart.
我开玩笑的 喝慢点
I'm kidding. Slow down.
你们这些人疯了
You kids are out of your mind.
我们三个才刚认识...
I feel like the three of us just met...
但感觉就像我们是三胞胎 好怪...
but I feel like I'm the triplet in a weird way...
不过很情♥色♥
but in a sexual way.
我们之后要怎么办?
Where do we take it from here?
我住在这里往南四十五分钟的地方
I'm located about 45 minutes south of here.
我跟我妈一起住
I live with my mom.
我不是来破坏派对的
I'm not here to break up the party.
我要你们嗨翻
I want you kids to get hopped up,
不过我在找雀儿喜
but I'm looking for a Chelsea McAllister.
有人知道她在哪吗?
Anyone here know where she might be?
你们知道我说的是谁吧?
You guys know who I'm talking about,right?
我们要回去吗?
Maybe we should go back to the party?
不要 我想继续
No. I want to keep doing this.
我只是觉得我们的动作太快了
Okay,I just think we're going a little fast.
没有 这样很棒
We're not. This is amazing.
我们应该照这速度继续
We should keep moving at this exact pace.
甚至加快脚步
Maybe even a little bit faster.
说真的 杰森 停下来
Seriously,Jason, stop it.
说真的 雀儿喜 我不想
Seriously,Chelsea, I don't want to.
雀儿喜? 爸?
Chelsea? Dad?
你怎么来了? 搞什么啊?
What are you doing here? What the hell?
老兄 给我出去
Dude,get out of here.
走吧 你没事吧?
Let's just go. Are you okay?
好事都被你破坏了
You're ruining this.
小雀 晚点见
Catch you later,Chels.
靠
Oh,shit.
嘿!
Hey!
混♥蛋♥ 我在跟你说话 王八蛋!
Hey,jackass. I'm talking to you,prick!
小烂人 你以为你很帅吗!
You think you're cute, you little fuck!
天啊!
Oh,my God!
好痛喔!
Ouch!
鲍伯 看来会血流不止喔
That looks like a real gusher,Bob.
过来 爸!
Come here. Dad!
爸!
Dad!
爸 你没事吧?
Are you okay,Dad?
我没事 只是心里有点受伤
I'm okay,honey. Just stung a little bit.
不准招惹鲍伯 放尊重点
You don't fuck with Bob. You show Bob respect.
好
Okay.
鲍伯是我的麻吉
Bob's my special guy.
没错 这是真的
That's right. That just happened.
不能跟你们的爸妈说这件事
You don't tell your parents about this.
不能跟朋友说这件事
You don't tell your friends about this.
写在作梦日记里 把它锁好...
You write it in your dream journal,you lock it up...
...放在枕头底下
...and you put it under your pillow.