新邻里联防（2012）

I got your neighborhood watch right here,sweet lips.
我们跟你是同一阵线的
We're on your side,sir.
我们想问你今晚有没有听到怪声音...
We're just wondering if you heard anything strange...
或是看到不寻常的事
or just anything out of the ordinary tonight.
你是说比方有四个蠢咖...
You mean like four nitwits...
大半夜跑到我的草坪上吗?
standing around on my lawn in the middle of the night?
你不觉得这事有点怪吗?
That's kind of strange, don't you think?
如果讲话伤人算犯罪
If being overly aggressive and a little bit snippy was a crime...
我现在就可以抓某人了
I'd be making a citizen's arrest right now.
闭上你吸老二的嘴吧?
Why don't you just shut your cocksucker there,dickweed?
我们在百忙当中抽空帮助社区
We're taking time out of our busy schedules to help the neighborhood...
我觉得你可以...
so,I think you could just...
不好意思 我有电♥话♥
Excuse me. I got a phone call,here.
比尔 还比尔咧
Hey,Bill. "Bill."
我这里有四个褓姆...
I got four members of the Baby-sitters Club up here...
是好邻巡逻队
It's the Neighborhood Watch.
他们想在上♥床♥前破某个悬案
trying to solve some kind of mystery before beddy-bye time.
我再打给你
I'll call you back later.
没事 我们懂 谢谢
It's okay,sir,we get it. Thank you.
我要数到十
You guys, I'm going to count to ten.
你知道吗? 我们重新来过吧
You know what? Let's start again.
我要数到十!
I'm going to count to ten!
他想要算数
He wants to count.
把那颗酷球偷走
Steal that cool ball.
一 二 三
One. Two. Three.
幸会 卷毛 去死
Nice to meet you. Fuck you,Curly.
四
Four.
上你们的管很大妈妈车快滚
Get in your goddamn soccer mom van and move on out.
好邻巡逻队 简直是天大的笑话
Neighborhood Watch, what a fucking joke.
你看
Look at this.
每次我拿一根手指戳它就会亮灯
Every time I stick a finger in,another light goes off.
好怪
That's weird.
所有人拿手指同时戳进去
Why don't we try to stick all our fingers in at the same time
看会怎样吧?
and see what happens?
好 我们一起拿手指戳洞吧
All right,guys,let's all finger these holes together.
这想法很烂
This is a bad idea.
少没种了 贾马克斯 快点
Don't be such a pussy, Jamarcus. Come on.
过来跟大家一起用手指弄球
Come over here and finger-bang this ball with us.
我不喜欢
I don't like this.
贾 马克斯 快点
Come on,Jamarcus.
好吧 可是这想法很烂
Fine,but this is a bad idea.
快点戳啦
Get your finger in there.
老天!
Jesus!
哇靠! 这是在开玩笑吗?
Holy shit! Are you kidding me?
你们看到了吗?
Did you see that shit?
牛头他妈的炸开了
That cow's fucking head exploded.
牛很惨 不过这件事很屌♥
That's terrible for the cow but this thing's fucking awesome.
这是重大发现
This is a major find.
这东西很厉害!
This thing is the shit!
好了 大家不准碰球...
Okay,nobody touches this ball...
等我们搞清楚再说
until we figure out what it is.
我们不该乱搞这东西的
We definitely should not fuck around with this thing.
我们最不希望的就是引起骚动
The last thing we want to do is cause a disturbance.
牵引机 掰了!
Goodbye,tractor!
干草 好啊!
Hay,yeah! Hay,now!
赞 厉害 刚刚很好玩
Hey,great. That's hilarious,that was so fun.
我们把东西给炸了
We blew that shit up.
他妈的牛头不见了 变成灰了
That cow's fucking head just poofed,just puffed.
各位 那是外星来的
Guys,this is not from this world.
我觉得这可能是政♥府♥搞出来的
I think it could be the government.
你可以找到很多这类的原型
There are lots of these kind of prototypes that you find.
政♥府♥老是在搞鬼
It's always the government.
我同意可能是政♥府♥...
I don't disagree that there could be a government...
或外星人 或是政♥府♥跟外星人联合
or an alien or where governments and aliens connect.
少来了 他们不是外星人
Get the fuck out of here,man. They're not aliens.
我觉得你在发神经 我没有
I think you're paranoid. I'm not paranoid.
情况摆得很明
Everything's on the table.
这可能要送去苹果门市
It was probably on the way to the Mac Store
然后从货车上掉出来了
and fell off the truck.
这就像玩具魔法八号♥球
This is like a magical 8-Ball,
把东西炸烂的保龄球
bowling ball that blows shit up.
我想找的是杀人凶手
I'm trying to find a killer,here.
对 外星人凶手
Right. A killer alien.
有人杀了安东尼奥 好吗?
Somebody killed Antonio,okay?
我不知道凶手是外星人
I don't know if they're an alien.
还是章鱼 我不知道是啥...
I don't know if it was an octopus. I don't know what it was...
或是谁 但事情跟它有关 好吗?
or who it was,but this has something to do with it,right?
对 同意
Yes. That's a yes.
我们不知道是什么
We don't know what it is.
这也说得没错
That's a correct as well.
安东尼奥尸体上的黏液跟这一样
It's the same goo that was on Antonio's body.
我同意你分享的讯息
This is information you're sharing and I'll say "yes" to it.
黏液在车上
The goo was on the car.
那颗球在车子附近
The orb was near the car.
我们就叫它露西吧
Let's call her Lucy.
在我们一找到...
The second after we find...
露西之后...
Lucy...
是谁把我们赶出他家?
who kicks us off his property?
拿着散♥弹♥枪♥的起肖老猴
Crazy old guy with a shotgun.
他为什么要把我们赶走?
Why did he want us off his property?
他为什么不让我们接近球或黏液?
Why did he not want us near the ball or the goo?
我们得调查他 我们有疑点要厘清
We have got to kick his tires. There's something we have to figure out.
我建议我们让法兰克林扮成女的...
I think we dress Franklin up as a girl...
改叫法兰西丝卡
named Francesca.
他上门推销 才不会被怀疑
He goes to the door as a salesman because they'll suspect him any other way.
他长得够正 继续说
He's pretty enough. I'm listening.
他是帅哥 五官能迷倒人
He's an attractive guy and he has the features where he can fool them.
像女人的五官
Feminine features.
我们让法兰克林穿女装
We put Franklin in a costume
去亲近那老头
to befriend the old man.
他让法兰克林进家门后!
He lets Franklin in the house. Boom,he's in!
就能入门了
Now it's intel,
他能暗中搜集情资
he's under the radar.
辣妹出现
It's an attractive lady showing up.
他长满老人斑的手会想摸一把
His liver-spotted hands are going to want to caress her.
鲍伯 我能说一件事吗?
Can I tell you something,Bob?
这招可能有用
That could work.
太好了!
Yes!
不过呢 终于!
Here's the thing. Finally!
我跟这老头不能过二垒...
I'm not going to go past second with this old guy...
但万一有必要 我就做了
but if I have to, I will.
我认为我们得好好确认你准备做啥...
I think it's important we get really confirmed...
才不会出状况
on what you're prepared to do, so it's not a new thing.
我会用双手 不用嘴
I will use both hands. I won't use a mouth.
他可能用手 可能不会动嘴
He may use his hands and may not use his mouth.
你得在被他发现之前全部搞定
I think you got to make it all go down before you get found out.
最乐观的情况是啥?
What's the best case on this one?
最乐观的情况是这样
Here's the best case scenario.
他是寂寞的老头 想跳华尔滋
He's a lonely old man, he wants to waltz.
他想听小时候的老歌♥
He wants to listen to some of the old songs from his childhood.
最糟的情况是你的菊花被捅
Worst case scenario,you're getting fucked in the ass.
不管怎样
Either way,
我们要查出这老头的底细
we're going to find out who this old guy is.
不管怎样
Either way,
我们要进入这个人的生活
we're going to get involved in this guy's life.
现在有个迫切的问题
Here's the pressing question.
这东西该怎么处理?
What do we do with this?
不要交给警♥察♥
We don't give it to the cops.
同意 这是我们的 不能让人知道
Agreed. This is ours, no one hears about it.
这是好邻巡逻队的秘密
We keep it a Neighborhood Watch secret.
干杯 我们有得玩了