新邻里联防（2012）

What are you doing? Back off.
你们在睡觉吗?
Have you guys been sleeping?
我完全没睡 这件事让我心神不宁
I haven't slept at all. I'm not dealing with this well.
谁都有可能是外星人
Anyone of these people could be an alien.
你看她
Check her out.
她像在研究新发现什么的
It's like she's studying some new discovery or something.
某种奇特的物体
Some strange object.
某种诡异
Some weird,
古怪 人吃的... 圆形水果
bizarre human... circle-fruit.
她看来在想 这东西我能吃吗?
Looks like she's thinking, "Can I ingest this?"
我应该把它放进我的闻味鼻吗?
"Should I put it in my flavor snout?"
你看这个人♥渣♥
Look at this piece of shit over here.
那个外星人还没学会怎么吃东西
That alien hasn't learned how to eat properly yet.
他好原始 笨子笨脚
He's so primitive. So clumsy.
很危险
So dangerous.
杰森那王八蛋在那里
There's that motherfucking Jason kid.
他在雀儿喜的脸书留言一大堆
That's the kid that's all over Chelsea's Facebook page.
(巨无霸保险套)
"巨无霸"?
Magnums?
你的老二才不可能这么大!
There's no way your dick's that big!
鲍伯 这是阖家光临的商店
Bob. It's a family store.
他的老二才不可能大到要买♥♥这尺寸
There's no way his dick's that big,that he needs to buy that shit.
有些人的老二就是这么大
Some people's are that big.
否则就不会有人卖♥♥这种保险套
Otherwise they wouldn't sell condoms like that.
他说的对 这是热销款
He's right. They're a big seller.
我对天发誓 我要扭断他的老二
I swear to God,I'm going to rip his dick off.
你得用两只手才行 鲍伯儿
You're going to need two hands,Bobby.
哈啰 邻居
Hello there,neighbor.
老天!
Jesus!
对不起 我吓到你了?
I'm so sorry, did I startle you?
不过这对你来说是好事
It's good for you,though.
这能让心跳加速
It gets the heart racing
我知道你想保持健康
and I know you like to stay fit.
总之 我刚搬来...
In any case,I just moseyed on over here...
想邀请你来我家小聚
to invite you to a little bit of a gathering I'm having at my home.
很多有意思的人会来...
A lot of interesting characters will be in attendance...
我认为你可能会对他们有兴趣
and I think you might be interested in them.
我会考虑
I'll think about it.
别考虑太久 因为不知不觉间...
Don't think about it too long, because before you know it...
人生就走到尽头了
Life's over.
这话很有道理吧?
Isn't that the truth?
哇靠!
Holy shit!
他是他们的人
He's one of them.
我竟然没有早点发现
I can't believe I didn't figure it out earlier.
他让人毛骨悚然 他在监视我
He's so creepy. He's been spying on me.
他前天晚上还夸我皮肤好
He said I had nice skin the other night.
懂吗? 皮肤好
Get it? Skin.
就算你皮肤水当当也不用吹嘘吧
You have incredible skin. You don't have to brag about it.
不是 外星人会剥人皮
No,the aliens rip off the skin.
你有看到他买♥♥多少颗电池吗?
Did you see all the batteries that guy bought?
没人需要那么多颗电池
Nobody needs that many batteries.
地球人不需要
Nobody from Earth, that is.
他说不知不觉间 人生就走到尽头
He said before we know it, life ends.
说不定他觉得你快发现了...
Maybe he thinks you're getting kind of close...
想干掉你
and he wants to take you out.
今晚是重头戏
This is what it's about. Tonight.
我们成立好邻巡逻队就是为了这个
This is why we formed the Neighborhood Watch.
我得拿外套
I just have to grab my jacket.
感谢老天 是好邻巡逻队的队长
Oh. Thank goodness. It's the leader of the Neighborhood Watch.
艾比 你在搞什么?
Abby,what the fuck?
我也要成立俱乐部 它只有一个洞...
I'm forming a little club,too,and it's only got one opening...
...而且需要填满 你有水吗?
...and it needs to be filled. Do you have any water?
天啊! 没有 出去!
Oh,my God! No. Go out,go out!
那是伊凡太太吗?
Is that Mrs. Evan?
那是你的外套吗?
Is that your jacket?
那是你老婆吗?
That's your wife?
崔维太太 幸会 我是法兰克林
It's nice to meet you,Mrs. Trautwig. I'm Franklin.
伊凡的麻吉
I'm a dear friend of Evan's.
她才不在乎
She doesn't care.
什么? 你要成立俱乐部
What? You're starting a club,
要我填满你的洞?
you want me to fill your hole?
这是怎么回事? 你在取笑我吗?
What's going on? Are you making fun of me?
老婆 我没在取笑你 你很美
Honey,I'm not making fun of you. You look awesome.
只是时间点很怪
It's just the timing is weird.
不对 怪的是我跟老公做♥爱♥...
No,what's weird is that I have to make an appointment...
要先约时间 你不用约
to have sex with my husband. No you don't.
结果他忘了 还带一堆怪咖回来
And then he forgets and brings a bunch of weird dudes over.
那个小家伙什么都看光了
That little one saw everything.
伊凡 拜托!
Evan,come on!
对不起 我忘了 对不起
I'm sorry. I forgot,I'm sorry.
对 你忘了
Yeah. You forgot.
告诉她真♥相♥ 她得知道
Give her some truth,pal. She needs it.
什么? 真♥相♥是啥?
What? What is that?
说出真♥相♥吧 我不晓得
Be that truth-teller,brother. I have no idea.
我根本不在乎 拿去吧
I don't even care. Just... here.
去跟你的朋友玩吧
Go play with your friends.
拿你的蠢外套走人吧
Take your stupid jacket and go.
拜托你相信我
Please believe me,
我有比这更重要的事要办...
there are forces greater than what we're talking about here...
...我不能跟你解释
...that I can't explain to you.
我保证我到时会跟你解释...
That I promise I will explain to you at a certain point...
可是不是现在
but it can't be right now.
走吧! 对不起
Go! I'm sorry.
老婆 如果我...
Honey,if I...
走吧
Come on.
喂 这是啤酒
Hey,it's beer.
真的假的? 你们要喝吗?
Are you serious? Do you want some?
来了 有人来了
Here we go. Someone's coming.
你们看到了吗?
Do you see that?
我们不知道那是什么
We don't know what that is,
不过那是一对夫妻
but that's a couple.
各位...
Guys...
这事绝对跟外星人有关
I definitely smell alien all over this thing.
鲍伯 开震动
Bob,vibrate.
一下就好 等一下
It'll be one second. Hang on,one second.
喂? 什么?
Hello? What?
她的爸妈会去吗?
Are her parents going to be there?
当然不行! 你在鬼扯啥?
Absolutely not! What the hell are you talking about?
不行
No.
该死 各位 对不起
Damn it,guys,I'm sorry.
我们得离开 走吧!
We have to get out of here. Let's go!
你在干嘛? 你会害我们曝光
What are you doing? You're going to give away our position.
听我说 我得说快点
Okay,listen to me. I have to fill you in quick.
雀儿喜要去曼蒂家轰趴
Chelsea is on her way to Mandy's house for a party.
她的爸妈不在
Her parents are not there.
我目前从曼蒂的脸书知道...
What I can gather so far from Mandy's Facebook page...
她是不折不扣的婊♥子♥
is she's a total whore.
她要大开性♥爱♥趴
This is going to be a full-blown fuck festival.
会出现碰撞拉扯 高♥潮♥
There is going to be touching and pulling. There is going to be climaxing.
雀儿喜随时就要到了
Chelsea's going to be there any minute
我不能让这件事发生
and I cannot allow that to happen.
我需要你们跟我过去制止
I need you guys to come with me. We need to put a stop to this.
鲍伯 你在说啥?
Bob,what are you talking about?
这里可能是外星人的巢穴 我们都到门口了
We are literally at the possible doorstep of an alien hive.
你说的对 我们得分头进行
You're right. We have to split up for a little bit.
贾马克斯
Jamarky-Mark,
你跟伊凡留下来 好
you stay with the Evanator. That's right.
法兰克福香肠 你跟我来
Frankfurter,you come with me.
我跟他合作无间
Me and my guy work well together.
我早就知道了 不好笑
So fucking far ahead of you,it's not even funny.
什么? 法兰克林! 不行!
What? No! Franklin!