新邻里联防（2012）

我想找机会跟哥儿们鬼混
And I love getting a chance to hang with the guys.
所以我对这件事很有兴趣
So,I'm really into what you're doing here.
一周一次 远离老婆小孩
Once a week,away from the wife and kids.
开黄腔 喝啤酒 如果可以的话
Telling some dirty jokes,having some beers,if we're good.
我很期待能好好闹一下
I really look forward to getting a chance at tearing this shit up.
大瞎特瞎
Really fucking it up.
好 鲍伯 谢谢你
Great. Thank you,Bob.
很高兴能认识你 兄弟 你也是
Really great to meet you,bub. You,too,pal.
很精彩
That was a great speech.
我是法兰克林
I'm Franklin.
法兰克林 欢迎你
Welcome,Franklin.
好
Yeah.
几年前 我从高中休学
A few years ago,I dropped out of high school.
因为我觉得不受欢迎
I wasn't feeling the vibe.
我想加入葛林威警局
I wanted to become a member of the Glenview Police Department.
我猜他们看不到我的好
I guess they didn't see the magic that was me.
显然 我笔试没过...
Apparently,I didn't pass the written exam...
体能测验挂了 心理健康也没过
or the physical exam, or the mental health exam.
管他是啥意思
Whatever that means.
所以我来参加私刑队
So,here I am with this vigilante squad.
我认为这能解决我的情绪问题...
And I figure, that's the best way to work through my emotional shit...
我还能趁机打爆别人的头
and bust some heads in the process.
我要说清楚 这不是私刑队
Okay. Just to be clear, we're not a vigilante squad.
私刑队 国民兵... 名称不重要
Vigilante squad,militia... Whatever you're going for,doesn't matter.
这不是国民兵也不是私刑队
No,not a militia or a vigilante squad.
每个团体都需要一张外卡...
Every group needs a wild card...
我认为我们找到了
and I think it's safe to say we found ours.
我欣赏
I dig it.
法兰克林 谢谢你
Thank you,Franklin.
你找到厉害咖了
You got a good one here.
你为什么来参加?
What are you about?
哈啰 我叫贾马克斯
Hello,my name is Jamarcus.
我刚刚开心离婚收场...
I'm recently very happily divorced...
希望能积极参与地方活动
and just looking to get more involved in the local community.
简短扼要 贾马克斯 欢迎你
Well,that was simple. Welcome,Jamarcus.
还有 我心里想到一个桥段...
Also,I have this one scenario in my mind...
希望会发生
that I'm kind of hoping plays out like this.
年轻火♥辣♥的亚洲人♥妻♥
Young,sexy,Asian housewife.
在夜里寂寞孤单又害怕
Alone at night,frightened.
她听到垃圾桶旁边有声音
A noise out by the trash cans.
最好打给好邻巡逻队
Best call the Neighborhood Watch.
我这英雄出现 然后听好了...
I show up,look heroic and then,get this...
她舔我的蛋蛋
She sucks my balls.
了解了吗?
Hear me now.
我也想碰到这种事
I'm also interested in that happening to me.
好 贾马克斯 鲍伯 法兰克林
Okay,well, Jamarcus,Bob,Franklin.
我们凑在一起的原因不重要
I guess it doesn't matter what brought us all here.
重点是我们全都为了一个目标努力
What matters is that we're all united in one cause.
所以我要欢迎大家来参加
And,with that, I would like to welcome
第一次正式会议...
you all to the first official meeting of...
好邻巡逻队成立了
the Neighborhood Watch.
我擅自作主...
Now,I've taken the liberty...
将葛林威分成十二区
of dividing Glenview into 12 sectors.
有人可能会说是十三区才对...
Though some might argue there are 13...
按照约克镇区域规画委员会来说是
if you abide by the Yorktown Zoning Commission ruling.
我不同意 但我不是蜜泉郡的人
I'm not buying it,but I'm not from Honeywell County.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
抱歉我要说出来...
I'm sorry to be the squeaky wheel...
但你感觉好像有一堆事...
but it feels like you have a lot of dense material...
要告诉大家
that you're starting to go through here.
说真的 我家就在五条街外
And to be honest with you,my house is about five blocks away...
我最近刚整理过
and I just fixed her up.
各位 我有酒 沙发 平面电视
Gentlemen,I got drinks,I got La-Z-Boys,I got flat screens.
应有尽有 包准你们喜欢
I got the whole nine. I know you guys are going to love it.
我只是想邀大家
I just want to throw it out there.
如果我越界了就直说...
If I'm overstepping, just say the word...
那我就闭嘴了
and you're not going to hear another squeak from this little wheel.
说真的...
Well,honestly...
听起来比这里屌♥太多了
That sounds a fuck-load better than this. No offense.
我没别的意思
I don't even know why I'm still sitting here.
我♥干♥嘛还坐在这 我去热车
I'm going to go warm up the car.
你们会喜欢我家的 很棒
You're going to love this place. It's awesome.
各位...
Gentlemen...
欢迎光临极乐世界
Welcome to paradise.
好啊
Oh,yes.
我是营造经理...
I'm a construction manager,and...
这个乐园是我用双手打造出来的
I built this little slice of heaven with my own two hands.
好棒 我喜欢 我去那边准备
It's so nice. I love it. I'll set up over there.
你有撞球桌
You have a pool table.
对啊 我最近重新铺过
Yeah,I just got it re-felted.
你试试看啊
Go ahead and take her for a spin.
你喜欢那玩意吗?
Hey,you like that thing,huh?
感觉就像被它插一样
It feels like this chair is inside me,Robert.
这是我花过最划算的两千三百块
That is the best $2,300 I ever spent.
我在网站上买♥♥的
I got it at a place called relaxtheback.com.
这网站屁♥股♥跟背的用品超级多
It's like Toys "R" Us for your ass and back.
感觉就像有一千个小巫师
It feels like a thousand little baby wizards are massaging my ass cheeks...
在按♥摩♥我的屁♥股♥肉一样
with their little baby wands.
使出他们的小魔法棒
Powerful imagery,brother.
这个画面很够力 我欣赏他
I'm digging where he's coming from.
手册啦
Handbooks. Boom.
你爱喝啥? 威士忌行吗?
What's your poison? You down with Scotch?
我不喝 威士忌好
No poison. Scotch and yes.
不要 威士忌赞!
No. Scotch and yes!
我们很忙 进度都落后一小时了
We got a lot of ground to cover and we're already an hour behind.
我们先做事吧 等下想怎样再说?
So,why don't we just dig in and then we can get to whatever afterwards?
吉他
Guitar.
伊凡 大家只是先热络一下嘛
Come on,Evan,we're just bonding a little bit.
说说你自己吧 我知道你有老婆
Tell me about yourself. I know you got a wife.
你有小孩吗? 几岁?
Do you have any kids? How old?
零岁 我没小孩
Uh,zero years old. No kids.
真可惜 我没有女儿活不下去
That's a shame. I couldn't imagine my life without my little Chelsea.
当爸爸有够屌♥ 很棒
Being a parent is unbelievable. That's great.
爸 我十一点可以出门看电影吗?
Dad,can I go to a movie at 11?
休想! 今天不是周末!
Hell,no! It's a weeknight!
可是曼蒂跟茱蒂都要去
But Mandy and Judy are going.
曼蒂? 谢谢你证明我的观点
Mandy? Thank you for proving my point.
曼蒂会拖累人 她的名声很臭
Mandy's dead weight,she's a succubus.
我跟你说过了
I told you that.
爸 我拿出大人的样子跟你说话了
Dad,I'm trying to talk to you like an adult,
你就是...
and you just...
不想听 没错 你走开吧
Don't want to listen! That's right,so skedaddle.
上楼写功课
Get up there and do your homework.
真的假的? 我有够讨厌这里
Are you serious? I fucking hate it here.
我有够喜欢这里!
I fucking love it here!
那是我的小公主兼小天使雀儿喜
That's my little princess. That's my little angel,Chelsea.
抱歉我刚刚没机会介绍给你们认识
I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce you guys.
喝一杯吧? 给哥儿们来杯凉的
How about some drinks? Fresh horses for my men.
好啊 谢谢
Yes,thank you.
进去 法兰克福香肠!
Get in there, Frankfurter!
好 不
Yeah. No.
伊凡 别这样嘛
Come on,Evaroo.
不了 谢谢 你不喝心情会不爽
No,thanks. You'll be bummed if you don't.
有人想来点下酒菜吗?
Can I interest anyone in some finger foods?
我得点个披萨过来?
I got to order some pies up in this thing,right?
好吧 你们有自己的事要做
Okay,you know what? You guys got your own thing going on there.
我要去贴传♥单♥了
I am going to put up some fliers.
好了啦 喝一杯嘛
Come on, have one drink.
不要? 大家掰了
No? I'll see you guys.
好 明天晚上见
Okay. See you tomorrow night.