阳光小子（1975）

- Looks more like an epidemic to me.
- 对, 大夫.
- Yes, Doctor.
您还能想到是别的什么病吗?
Is there anything else you can think of?
我能想到啊,我就怕自己处理不好.
I can think of it,but I'm not so sure I can do it.
哦?我可以帮您处理呀,大夫,护士本来就是干这个的.
If I can help you, Doctor,that's what the nurse is for.
这家伙,幸亏政法大学没录取我.
Boy, am I glad I didn't go to law school.
啊哈!我听见噹,噹,噹了.下一个病人来了.进来.
Aha! I hear knock, knock, knock.That must be the next patient. Come in.
进屋儿!
And enter!
哦.耶稣.
Ugh. Jesus.
- 我找大夫.
- I'm looking for the doctor.
- 你病啦?
- Are you sick?
- 你是大夫吗?
- Are you the doctor?
- 对.
- Yes.
- 看见他我就想吐.
- Then I'm gonna be sick.
- 坐下.
- Sit down.
- 你预约了吧, 你姓什么?
- For my records, what's your name?
- 科恩海泽.
- Kornheiser.
- 叫什么名字?
- And your first name?
- 精灵.
- Sylvia.
精灵·科恩海泽?
Sylvia Kornheiser?
- 一个男人怎么起了这么一个可笑的名字?
- Isn't that a funny name for a man?
- 我媳妇儿赫尔曼也这么说.
- That's what my wife Herman says.
我明白了.首先,我得给你做个检查.
I see. The first thing I'm gonna have to do is examine you.
- 把衣裳脱下来.
- Take off your clothes.
- 脱不了.
- Nothing doing.
- 你不想当着我的面儿脱衣裳?
- You won't take them off?
- 叫精灵的,有随便脱衣裳的么.
- Not with a name like Sylvia.
那我怎么给你做检查?
Then how will I examine you?
我来这儿就是为了做检查,我检查你.
That's what I came for.I came to examine you.
- 你检查我,怎么倒个儿了?
- You got everything backwards.
- 没错儿. 不过我用不着你脱衣裳.
- It's possible. I dressed in a hurry.
在这儿是我检查你!我是这儿的大夫!
I'm here to examine you! I'm the doctor!
在这儿我也能检查你.我是税务稽查员.
And I'm here to examine you.I'm the tax collector.
- 诶呦,我的妈爷~
- I'll be a monkey's uncle.
- 你亲属的情况,我后边再了解.
- We'll discuss your dependents later.
我还忙着看病呢.你想检查我的话,去跟我的护士预约.
I'm a busy man. If you want to see me,make an appointment with my nurse.
我约了.我约她礼拜五晚上吃饭.
I did. I'm seeing her Friday night for dinner.
不许打我护士的主意!不许打我护士的主意!
Don't fool around with my nurse!Don't fool around with my nurse!
她是正派的姑娘.她是个黄山闺女.
She's a nice girl. She's a Virginian.
- 是个什么?
- A what?
- 黄山闺女.
- A Virginian.
- 这是她的老家话.
- That's where she's from.
- 是黄花儿不是黄山.无所谓,反正她也不是.
- She ain't going back, I'll tell you that.
我看看有什么要问你的.
I got some questions to ask.
- 你应该看的是我,我能给你看病.
- To see me, you got to be a patient.
- 我没病.
- But I'm not sick.
没关系.我能给你找出病来.
Don't worry. We'll find something.
好吧,我检查你,你也检查我.
All right, you examine me,and I'll examine you.
第一个问题:你去年赚了多少钱?
First question:How much money did you make last year?
去年,我赚了....
Last year, I made....
- 我没听见.
- I didn't hear that.
- 啊! 听力障碍.
- Aah! Hard of hearing.
我就知道,我能给你找出病来.
I knew we'd find something.
轮到我了.你父亲在世还是过世?
My turn.Now, is your father living or deceased?
- 都是.
- Both.
- 什么叫都是.
- What do you mean both?
- 他以前在世, 现在过世.
- First he was living, now he's deceased.
- 他因为什么过世的?
- What did he die of?
因为我母亲.你干什么?
My mother. What are you doing?
- 我在检查你的肠道.
- I'm examining your lower intestine.
- 那你干嘛往我耳朵里看?
- Then why do you look in the ear?
从耳道能看你肠道的病,这叫下病上治.
If I got a choice of two places to look,I'll take this one.
- 挽起你的袖子.
- Roll up your sleeve.
- 你这又是要干嘛?
- What are you gonna do?
- 我要抽你的血做化验.
- I need a sample of your blood.
- 我没那么多血.
- I don't have that many.
有多少抽多少. 只能抽多了,不能抽少了.
Give me what you can.The rest, you can owe me.
坐下吧,精灵,跷二郎腿.
Sit down, Sylvia, and cross your legs.
告诉我,这么锤你疼不疼啊?
Tell me, does it hurt when you get hit with a hammer?
- 太疼了.
- Certainly.
- 这就对了.自己敲可别使这么大劲儿.
- Good. Try not to get hit with a hammer.
- 你看见瓶子了吗?
- You see this bottle?
- 看见了.
- Yes.
知道接下来要你干什么吗?
You know what you're supposed to do?
- 我猜是尿检.
- I think so.
- 你别猜,你知道还是不知道?
- You think so or you know so?
你要不知道我告诉你.护士今天没给瓶子消毒.
If you're not sure, let me know.The girl doesn't come in to clean today.
那你想让我♥干♥嘛?
What do you want me to do?
我想让你清理这个瓶子.
I want you to go in this bottle.
- 我应该清理的是你的账本儿.
- I got to go over your books.
- 你死去吧.
- The hell you will.
如果我查不了你,会有别的政♥府♥部门的人来查你.
If I don't go over them, the government will come and go over them.
- 华盛顿没给你们安排地方儿办公是吗?
- Don't they have a place in Washington?
- 对,哪儿需要查账,我们就去哪儿.
- They got to go where the books are.
- 你能代表政♥府♥吗?
- The whole government?
- 我代表政♥府♥的财税局.
- No, just the Treasury Department.
克鲁肯米尔大夫.
Dr. Kluckenmier.
我跟你说了别随便闯进来.
I told you not to bust in here.
对不起.库格尔曼女士打来电♥话♥.
I'm sorry. Mrs. Kugelman is on the phone.
说让您赶紧过去给她接生.
She wants you to rush right over and deliver her baby.
我正忙着呢.让她明天早上再生.
I'm busy now.I'll mail it to her in the morning.
好的,大夫.
Yes, Doctor.
你这儿的护士,都是从哪儿找的?
Where did you find a couple of nurses like that?
在43街、44街,街边儿站着的.
She was standing on 43rd and 44th Street.
坐下,我检查你的舌头.
Sit down. I want to examine your tongue.
- 你的舌头套了一件儿白外套儿.
- Aah! You got a white coat on there.
- 它要穿的是灰夹克儿,你是不是就更满意了?
- Did you expect a gray sports jacket?
- 说 "啊."
- Say "aah."
- 啊!
- Aah!
不出我所料.
Just as I thought.
你得阑尾炎了.我得摘除你的扁桃体.
You got a rotten appendix.I'm gonna have to take out your tonsils.
- 为什么摘除扁桃体?
- Why my tonsils?
- 从这儿下去,我够不着你的阑尾.
- From here, I can't reach your appendix.
别管扁桃体了.你的票呢?
Never mind my tonsils.What about your taxes?
- 我的什么?
- My what?
- 你开的票.
- Your taxes.
怀疑你偷税、逃税,财税局在排查.
It's time to pay your taxes to the Treasury.
我警告你啊,打住.
I'm warning you, cut that out.
你说什么呢?
What are you talking about?
你知道我在说什么.偷税、逃税、财税局.
You know what I'm talking about.Time to pay the taxes to the Treasury.
你又开始啐吐沫说话了.
You're speaking with the spitting again.
我发音没错儿吧?这是喷口词儿,我没办法儿.
I read the right line, didn't I?I can't help it if it comes out juicy.
拌你妈了个凉粉儿,你不会管着点儿嘴.
Stop squeezing the juice,it won't come out that way.
哪儿呢?他说的词儿在哪儿?我怎么找不着.
Where? Where does it say that?I haven't got that.
克拉克先生,我的剧本儿里没你刚才说的台词儿.
Mr. Clark, I don't have those last lines in my script.
台词儿没在剧本儿里.台词儿在他的嘴里.
It's not in the script.It's in his mouth.
他停下来了.可不是我停下来的.是他先停下来的.
He stopped. I didn't stop.He's the one who stopped.
我停下来,是因为他啐我.他成心用喷口词儿啐我.
I stopped because he spit.He's purposely spitting on the "T's."
我没成心啐他,我管不住吐沫.
I didn't spit on purpose.I spit on accident.
说喷口词儿不喷点儿吐沫星子,那不可能.
It's not possible to say "T's" without spitting a little.
那就别用喷口词儿!换别的词儿说!
Then don't say "T's"!Say "L's" or "W's"!
可是税务的专用词,替不了.
But there's no "L's" or "W's" in taxes.
他又来了一次.你们看见了吧?
He did it again. Did you see that?
他刚才偷袭我.你们看见了没有?
He sneaked an extra one in.Did you see it?
威利大爷,刘易斯先生,等把节目录制完了,我们再讨论,行吗?
Uh, Uncle Willy, Mr. Lewis,why don't we finish the rehearsal and discuss this later?
你什么意思?我是这儿的导演.
Do you mind? I'll direct this show.
威利先生,刘易斯先生,等把节目录制完了,我们再讨论,行吗?
Why don't we finish the rehearsal and discuss this later?
我没问题.
It's all right with me.
我不会站在这儿,等着他往我的脸上喷淋浴.
I'm not gonna stand here and get a shower in my face.
要么他拢上点儿嘴,要么我打一把伞表演.
Either he says a softer "T" or I do the show with an umbrella.
诶~我没闲工夫儿管这破事儿.