太坏了

要是枪战开始 你就趴到地上
If the bullets start flying, hit the deck.
你到处撒尿 狗♥娘♥养♥的
You pissed everywhere, you son of a bitch!
到处 你才没看见我撒在哪儿呢
Everywhere? You didn't see me pissing anywhere.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
把你的脑浆砸出来
Take your nuts out of your shells!
麦克尔斯 我在后面掩护你
Michaels, I got your back.
你给这醉鬼瞧瞧我们的厉害吧
why don't you show this rummy how we roll?
收到
10-4.
劳驾 先生 马上停止您现在的行为
Excuse me, sir. Stop what you are doing at once.
-条子来了 -拒捕 拒捕
-Blue guys! -Resisting. Resisting!
-斯雷特 -麦克尔斯
-Slater! -Michaels!
大家保持镇静
Everybody stay calm.
-大家保持镇静 -他妈的别挡道
-Everybody stay calm. -Get the fuck out of my way!
保持镇静我♥操♥
Stay calm! Fuck!
-我该朝他开枪吗 -不 不 不
-Should I shoot him? -No, no, no!
-不 -制止他 麦克拉温
-No! -Stop him, McLovin!
麦克拉温 制止他 上 上 上
McLovin, stop him! Do it, do it, do it, do it!
-请你住手 你这该死的叫花子 -怎么搞得
Please stop it, you fucking bum. what the fuck?
麦克拉温 漂亮
McLovin! Nice!
他直冲着我来 我就把他放倒了
He just came at me. I took him down.
我要给你买♥♥杯啤酒 麦克拉温
I'm buying you a beer, McLovin.
我也要给你买♥♥一杯
I'm buying you one too.
记下来 对付人♥渣♥就该这么干
Take note. That's how you take down a motherfucker.
没错
That's right.
麦克拉温当家
McLovin in the fucking house!
你跳得真够劲
Hey. You dance hot.
谢谢
Thank you.
好 好 我们 我们来吧
Okay, okay. Here we...Here we go.
-喂 -埃文 我是贝卡
-Hello? -Evan, it's Becca.
贝卡 你好
Oh, Becca. Hi.
喂 你好 喂 贝卡
Hey. Hello. Hey. Becca.
-贝卡 -埃文 你听得见我说话吗
-Becca...-Evan, can you hear me?
-喂 什么 -你听得见 什么破玩艺
-Hello? what? -Can you hear...? Piece of shit!
那家伙卖♥♥给我的是什么破手♥机♥
Guy sells me a piece of shit fucking phone.
-贝卡 -我是贝卡
-Becca? -It's Becca.
我他妈的不管到哪儿都只有一格信♥号♥♥
I get one bar everywhere I fucking go.
-他在说啥 -妈♥了♥个♥逼♥的
-what is he saying? -Fucking asshole.
-我想 -怎么回事
-I think...-what happened?
狗婊♥子♥养♥的♥手♥机♥公♥司♥
Son-of-a-fucking-bitch phone company.
-什么 真粗鲁 喂 -操 你个烂货
-what? It's rude. Hello? -Fuck. You suck.
破手♥机♥ 垃圾
Bullshit phone. Piece of shit.
我非把你抽到稀巴烂不可
I swear I'll bitchslap you so fucking hard.
-啥 -贝
-what? -Bec...?
谢谢
Thanks.
真♥他♥妈♥的疯了
This is fucking crazy.
瞧瞧卡车上掉下来的是什么
Hey. Look what fell out of the truck!
你的屁玩意还真多
You're full of shit.
对 我知道
Yeah, I know.
哥们 哥们 我们要爽翻了
Dude. Dude. we're so gonna get fucked up.
好的
All right.
那是什么
what is that?
我不知道 什么
I don't know. what?
你裤子上那一滩东西 白♥痴♥ 那是什么
That fucking stain on your pants, idiot. what is that?
-老兄 你在说什么 -哥们
-what are you talking about, man? -Dude.
-这是血吗 -这到底是什么
-Is that blood? -what the fuck is that?
-你出血了 -我又没中刀啥的
-Are you bleeding? -I'm not cut or anything.
-我♥干♥吗要出血 -这他妈的还真是血
-why would I be bleeding? -It's fucking blood, man.
你刚才在里面和什么妞一起跳舞吧
were you dancing with some chick in there?
-对 怎么 -这是血
-Yeah, so? -It's blood.
-哥们 这可不好玩 -这是血 哥们
-Dude, that's not funny. -It's blood, dude.
可是我怎么会出血 我到底为什么出
But why would I be bleeding? why the fuck would I be bl...?
为什么会有血
Dude, why would there be bl...?
操 天哪
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
操 我他妈要吐了
Oh, shit. I'm gonna fucking throw up.
我腿上是月经血
Someone perioded on my fucking leg?
-好家伙 -我他妈该怎么办
-Oh, shit. -what the fuck do I do?
这种事我一辈子都没见过
I've never before seen that in my life!
这太恶心了
This is so disgusting.
-是 -我要叫比尔来
-Yes, it is. -I'm gonna go get Bill.
-该让他来看看 -操 对
-He's gotta check this shit out. -Fuck, yeah.
别 谁是比尔 别告诉比尔 比尔跟这事没关系
No. who's Bill? Don't tell Bill! Bill has nothing to do with this!
冷静点 让我拍张照 很快的
Hey, calm down. Let me get a picture of that real quick.
不 你别拍照
No, you can't have a picture!
-哥们 别走 -比尔比尔你瞧
-Dude, stop! -Bill, Bill! Check it out!
这孩子的裤子沾了月经血
This kid's got period blood on his slacks.
这是红葡萄酒 你们没喝到的
It's merlot. That's what you don't get.
帕特这个傻♥逼♥的裤子上沾了月经血
Hey, Pat! This jerk-off's got period blood on his pants!
-拜托 别笑了 -天哪 老兄 让我看看
-Please stop. -God, man, let me see.
天哪 男人长B了
Oh, my God, that's a fucking man-gina, man.
你要卫生棉条吗 我可以
Do you need a tampon? I could...
等等 等等 我有一个我有一个
wait, wait. I have one! I have one!
是吗 我不知道
Yeah, right? I don't know.
我得把这东西洗掉 这是水管吗
I gotta wash this off. Is this the line?
你看它像什么
what does it look like?
我是傻♥逼♥ 行了吧
Fuck me, right?
对 我是麦克拉温 我要买♥♥一些
"Yeah, I'm McLovin. I'd like to buy some..."
好家伙
Shit.
-倒回去 倒回去 -倒回去 耶
-Rewind, rewind. -Rewind it. Yeah!
真带劲 咱们再看一遍
So hot. Let's see it again.
-你的人都飞起来了 -真是好家伙
-Your legs lifted off the ground. -That is bona fide badass, man.
你该留着这带子 麦克拉温 真是好家伙
You gotta keep that tape, McLovin. It is badass.
-真的呢 -真的
-It really is. -Really?
你们不是要拿它当证据吗
well, don't you guys, like, need it for, like, evidence or...?
它唯一能证明的就是你可以被人一拳打飞
The only thing that's evidence of is you can take a hit like a champ.
说真的 拿着吧
Seriously. Take that.
我们要不要找些女人 给她们看看这带子
Are there any ladies we'd like to show this tape to?
不 不要在酒吧泡妞 我是认真的
No. You don't wanna meet a chick in a bar, man. Seriously.
那是我人生的转折点 不过我后来才意识到
That was a turning point in my life, when I realized that.
你该去别的地方
You gotta go to other places.
该去舞蹈班 农贸市场
You gotta go to a spin class, a farmers' market...
或者每年收获的时候去南瓜田
...pumpkin patch, given the time of year.
总之要找些没有危险的交际场所
Just somewhere social, non-threatening.
明白吧 就是那种地方
You know, something like that.
对 我是在彩弹射击场认识我老婆的
Yeah, I met the missus at paintball.
我打中了她的脖子 然后我们就
Yeah, I shot her in the neck. And we just... .
我们就走到一块了 明白吧
And we just hit it off, you know.
顺便说一下 我的第一任妻子 是个骚货
My first wife...who is a whore, by the way.
你猜我是在哪儿认识她的
-where do you think I met her?
酒吧 酒吧里
A bar. A bar.
-就是这个酒吧 -就是这个酒吧
-It was this bar. -It was this bar.
对 就是这个酒吧
Yeah, it was this bar.
给她买♥♥了杯比尼恩牌的酒 夸了几句她的手提袋
Bought her a Binion's, complimented her on her tote bag...
接着我就发现
...and next thing I know,
她的嘴含住了我的龟♥头♥
she's putting her mouth around the tip of my penis.
你没必要告诉我这个
You don't have to tell me that.
-就在那里 -她为我开辟了性♥爱♥的天地
-Right in there. -She opened up my world, sexually.
在我结婚那天晚上 我们玩了群♥交♥
On our wedding night, we had group sex.
我没参与
I wasn't involved in it.
-不过我能透过墙壁听见 -我参加了
-But I could hear it through the wall. -I was.
她真是了不起 后来 过了23个月
She was amazing. And then it was exactly 23 months later...
我发现她是个真正的骚货
...that I found out she was an actual whore.
-我们发现她在街上 -对
-we discovered her on the street. -Yeah.
我不明白
I'm sorry.
她很坏 不要脸的贱♥货♥
She was bad. Fucking whoring bitch.
-不过你现在有新老婆了 所以 -对 对
-But you got a new wife now, so... . -Yeah. Yeah.
她棒极了
And she is wonderful.
-对 对 对 -你会认识她的
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -You'll meet her.
知道吗 我敢打赌 我看穿了你的把戏 麦克拉温
You know what? I bet I know your trick, McLovin.
-你是在玩那种神 -呼叫所有单位
-You play the whole myst...-Calling all units.
把那东西关了吧
Just turn that off.