太坏了

在钻洞 只剩最后两周了 操
I'm just drilling holes. The last two weeks. Fuck it.
我们该怎么对女孩们说 难道跟她们说
what do we tell the girls, we couldn't do the one thing...
我们言而无信是因为我们性无能
...we promised because we're dickless incompetents?
这下我们再也睡不到妞了 就因为佛格尔那块尿布
Now we're never gonna bone because of that used tampon, Fogell.
他怎么能进达特茅斯大学
How'd he get into Dartmouth?
我真搞不懂 他满脑子是屎
I don't get it. He's got shit for brains.
好了 还有什么办法可以搞到酒
All right, how else can we get alcohol?
-哥们 你们好 -佛格尔 你去哪了老兄
-Yo, guys! what's up? -Fogell, where have you been, man?
差点吓得我心脏病发作
You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack.
让我看看 你事到临头缩了吧
Let me see it. Did you pussy out?
没有 我成功了
No, no, man. I got it.
做得象真的一样 你们看
It's flawless. Check it.
夏威夷
Hawaii?
好吧 不错 我猜别人很难查
All right, that's good. It's hard to trace, I guess.
McLovin在俚语中可指时间很短的做♥爱♥ 也可指某种引人联想的汉堡包
等等 你把名字换成麦克拉温了
wait, you changed your name to McLovin?
-是 -麦克拉温
-Yeah. -McLovin?
什么烂名 你是什么爱尔兰R&B歌♥星
what kind of a stupid name is that? Are you an Irish R & B singer?
办♥证♥的人让我随便挑个名字
They let you pick any name you want when you're there.
所以你就挑了麦克拉温
And you landed on McLovin?
对 不选这个就得选穆♥罕♥默♥德♥了
Yeah, it was between that or Mohammad.
为什么不选它就得选穆♥罕♥默♥德♥
why the fuck would it be between that or Mohammad?
普通点的名字不行吗
why not just pick a common name?
穆♥罕♥默♥德♥是地球上最普通的名字 不信你找本书看看
Mohammad is the most common name on earth. Read a fucking book.
你见过叫穆♥罕♥默♥德♥的人吗
Have you ever met anyone named Mohammad?
那你见过叫麦克拉温的人吗
Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?
不 所以你就要起这个烂名
No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name.
-操你 -给我
-Fuck you. -Give me that.
首先 照片里你看起来象个未来的恋童癖
All right. You look like a future pedophile in this picture, number one.
其次 只有姓没有名 就一个麦克拉温
Number two, it doesn't even have a first name. It just says McLovin!
啥 就一个姓
what? One name?
就一个姓 你谁 海豹突击队吗
One name? who are you, Seal?
佛格尔 身份证上说你25岁
Fogell, this ID says you're 25 years old.
写个21不行吗 老兄
why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
塞思 塞思 塞思 听我说 臭脸
Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face.
每天都有许多孩子用假身份证去商店买♥♥酒
Every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with their fake IDs...
每个人都说自己21岁
...and every single one says they're 21.
你们认为镇里有多少21岁的人
How many 21 -year-olds are in this town?
这叫他妈的改变策略好吗
It's called fucking strategy.
我们冷静点 别头脑发热
Let's stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads.
这证不错 可以用的 好吗
It's a fine ID. It'll...It's gonna work. It's passable, okay?
这还不算太坏 我是说 全看你的发挥了 佛格尔
This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell.
别人看了也许会想 这是个用假身份证的小孩
This guy's gonna think, "Here's a kid with a fake ID"...
但也可能想 这人叫麦克拉温
...or "Here's McLovin,
25岁 夏威夷的器官捐献者
the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor."
好吗 所以 你觉得会怎样
Okay? So, what's it gonna be?
我就是麦克拉温
I am McLovin.
不 你不是麦克拉温 从来没有麦克拉温这个人
No, you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed...
麦克拉温是一个白♥痴♥废物同性恋假名 他妈的
...because that's a made-up, dumb, fucking fairy-tale name, you fuck!
天哪 老兄 可以用的 给个机会嘛
Jeez, man. It'll work. Give it a chance.
你动了我的
Did you move my...?
我的车呢
where is my car?
我的天 老兄
Oh, my God, man.
我怎么跟你说的 别把车停这儿
what did I say to you? I told you not to park here.
你干吗把车停在教职员停车区
why would you park in the staff parking lot?
闭嘴佛格尔
Shut the fuck up, Fogell.
我是说 你又不是教职员
I mean, because you're not staff.
我知道 佛格尔我知道
I know that, Fagell! I know that!
埃文 现在去你家
Evan, let's go to your house.
等等 你们还来开车接我吗
wait, are you guys still picking me up from work?
回答我好吗
Can you answer me?
哥们 你除了童装就没衣服了吗
Man, don't you have any non-infant clothes?
这还可以
It'll be fine.
为什么不♥穿♥一件你去学校穿的衣服
why don't you just wear what you wore to school?
我不能那样穿
I can't do that.
我不想朱尔丝看到我时 我还穿着学校里穿的衣服
I can't let Jules see me in what I wore to school.
这太不合适了
It's completely unbecoming.
越战后没人穿短裤打炮
No one's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since Nam.
我一定要杀了这些家伙 我不和恐♥怖♥分♥子♥谈判
I have to kill these guys. You don't negotiate with terrorists.
真的 我们现在应该谈谈这事
Really? Yeah, that's what we should be talking about right now.
为什么你不回家找你自己的衣服
Then why don't you go and get some of your own clothes?
那就蠢到极点了
That's the dumbest thing ever.
我爸妈知道我车被拖走 会打得我满地找牙
My parents will see that my car's been towed and I'll be grounded.
这些该死的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥ 下起仔来跟兔子一样快
These fucking terrorists multiply like bunnies.
我把M16步♥枪♥放哪了
where did I leave the M16?
你有大点的衣服吗 难道你只在婴儿服装店买♥♥衣服
Do you have any bigger clothes or do you only shop at babyGap?
操 还没
Fuck me. I can't...
好 为什么做出这么个游戏
That's fun. why do they make that?
赢不了的游戏 我还他妈玩
If you can't even win, then why am I fucking playing?
想看下我爸穿的衣服吗
Do you wanna go see what my dad has?
我♥操♥
what the fuck?
这什么鬼玩艺
what the hell is that?
这是一件马甲 傻鸟
It's a fucking vest, dumbass.
-我想显得老成一点 -你象木偶皮诺曹
-I'm trying to look older. -You look like Pinocchio.
-只不过是一件马甲嘛 -那里面有很多酒
-It's just a vest. -They got a lot of booze in there.
如果我们现在把酒弄到手
If we get it now,
就可以尽快去晚会见朱尔丝那群妞
we can get to the party faster with Jules' shit.
不行 老兄 我在那打工 他们知道我不到25岁
No way, man. I work there. They know I'm not 25.
没跟你说话呢 鸡鸡嘴
Nobody said anything about you, dick-mouth.
你去会害死我的
You really fucked me on this one.
因此 我决定自己去偷点酒
So now I'm gonna steal the booze.
别这样 我保证你们一会都能拿到酒
Don't do this. I promise you I'll get the liquor later.
迈克?施奈德的身份证可以用 我的也是
Mike Snider's ID always works. So will mine, man.
迈克?施奈德的身份证上
Mike Snider's ID
可不是这么一个蠢名字 明白吗
doesn't have one fucking name on it! Okay?
我以为你们这帮上达特茅斯的聪明人能明白这一点
I thought you Dartmouth guys would be smart enough to understand that.
现在我塞思去把酒搞定
Now Seth's gotta pick up all the pieces.
他不会真干的 别急
He won't do it. Don't worry.
我忘了说 我妈说我们可以拿地下室的那台电视
I forgot to tell you, my mom said we can have the TV from the basement...
闭嘴 他会听到我们说话的
Shut the fuck up, he's gonna hear you.
安静 等他走了再说
Just be quiet. wait until he goes away.
你还没告诉他我们要做室友吗
You still haven't told him that we're rooming together?
佛格尔 闭嘴
Fogell, shut the fuck up.
把马甲脱了 你看着象阿♥拉♥丁
And take off your vest. You look like Aladdin.
你说得对
Okay. You got it.
但愿小猪崽能跑
Hope piggy can run.
你多大了
How old are you?
22岁
Twenty-two.
你一看就是 一共80元
You certainly are. That'll be 80 dollars.
好的
Okay.
非常感谢 这张够了吗
Thank you kindly. will that do?
当然了 谢谢 塞思
Certainly will. Thank you, Seth.
谢谢
Hey, thank you.
您的包掉了 太太
You dropped your purse, ma'am.
需要我帮忙吗
would you like some help?
那再好不过了 年轻人
well, that would be lovely, young man.
你想让我帮你买♥♥酒吗
would you like me to buy you alcohol?
那也再好不过了
That would be lovely.
-好好享受晚年生活 -我会的
-Enjoy your remaining years. -I will.
-好好去操朱尔丝 -我会的
-Enjoy fucking Jules. -I will.
别拿 孩子
Don't do it, kid.
我别无选择
I never had a choice.
你打死了老太太
You fucking killed her!
不
No!
偷来的酒呢 被你藏在屁♥眼♥里了
where's all the stolen liquor? Did you hide it up your butt?
滚蛋我本来想拿的 但是有人惊动了保安
Piss off! I was gonna do it, but there was a security breach.
这下根本干不成了
You never would've done it.
我们去另外一家 看你的蠢蛋身份证是怎么被识破的
Let's go to a liquor store and watch your stupid ID get rejected.
等等 我得先把马甲放好
wait, I'm gonna go put my vest back in my locker.
好了 就这儿了
All right. Here we are. This is it.
-准备好了吗 -好了