太坏了

做 好多呢
Yeah. Lots.
匹萨百吉饼
Pizza bagels.
只要签了这个 就表示你正式声明
So by signing this, you are officially saying...
在我们从歹徒手里救你的时候
...that as we stopped you from being mugged...
有个吸毒的家伙偷了我们的警车
...a crackhead stole our cruiser
对它做了天晓得什么事
and did God knows what with it.
-你愿意签字吗 -当然了 我的命都是欠你们的
-You cool to sign that? -Of course. I owe you guys my life.
我们欠你 麦克 等一下 你的真名叫什么
we owe you, Mc...wait, what's your real name again?
-佛格尔 -去它的
-Fogell. -Fuck that.
-我们就叫你麦克拉温 -麦克拉温
-we're calling you McLovin. -McLovin.
咱们来跳个舞吧 小伙子们
Let's do this dance, boys.
-天哪 -我是怎么跟你们说的
-Oh, my God. -what did I tell you guys, right?
真是爽翻了
That was crazy.
好了
All right.
好了 现在你们瞧瞧这个
All right, now, guys, check this out.
这可能是飞车转圈运动史上 最伟大的动作
It's probably the greatest move in doughnut-spinning history.
你们看好了
You paying attention?
请看上旋猪尾巴
Behold, the upward-spiraling pigtail.
-为什么叫这个名字 -我不知道
-why is it called that? -I don't know.
为警徽增光 斯雷特
Make the badge proud, Slater.
他做这动作的时候一般不会醉成这样
He's not usually this drunk when he does this...
不过我想这样可以做得更酷
...but I think that could make it more cool.
麦克拉温
McLovin!
不
Oh, no.
操
Fuck.
-斯雷特 -斯雷特警官
-Slater! -Officer Slater.
好 真爽
All right. Fucking crazy.
咱们干吧
Let's do this.
快 快 浇吧 浇吧
Hurry, hurry. Let's go. Go, go.
我浇 我浇 我浇
I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
-我浇完了 浇完了 -好 浇这 浇这
-I'm out, I'm out. -Good, here we go, here we go.
好了 好 闪人
Yeah? Yeah, okay. Back up.
别把你们自己炸着了
Don't blow yourself up, asshole.
我的天
Yes. Oh, my God.
成了 成了
It worked. It worked.
我们赢了 我们赢了
we won. we won.
我们可以朝它开枪吗
Can we shoot at it?
我不知道 你可以吗
I don't know. Can you?
爆♥炸♥吧 傻瓜
Break yourself, fool.
帅
Tight.
听我说 后来她说要给我口♥交♥
Listen, and then she said she was gonna give me a blow-J.
我真不敢相信 她这么对你说
I can't believe she said that to you.
老兄 你根本想不到
Man, you have no idea.
-她在想什么 -你根本不知道
-what was she thinking? -You don't even know.
我要告诉你 我要告诉你一些事 埃文
I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you something, Evan.
什么
what?
大概三星期前 我进了你的房♥间
I was in your room, like, three weeks ago...
那时候你在大便
...while you were taking a shit.
我看了你的住宿表格
And I saw your housing, like, forms.
所以我那时就知道 你要和佛格尔一起住了
So I knew you and Fogell were gonna live together, you know.
对不起 我不知道
I'm sorry, man, I don't know.
我早该告诉你的 我不知道为什么没说
I should've told you. I don't know why I didn't.
别 别这么怪自己 该说对不起的是我
Don't...No, don't be sorry. I should be sorry.
我才是混♥蛋♥呢 对你做了那么混♥蛋♥的事
I was being a dick. I was being a big dick to you.
不 我
No, l...
听我说 塞思 我要你知道
Listen, Seth, I want you to know,
我不想和佛格尔一起住
I don't wanna live with Fogell.
我从来不想和他一起住 我只是不 我
I never wanted to live with him. I just don't...I ha...
我害怕和陌生人住在一起
I'm afraid to live with strangers.
我不行
I can't.
我做不到
I can't do it.
我知道 我知道
I know, I know.
我真想不到你救了我
I can't believe you saved me.
你救了我
You saved me.
我真没想到 我欠你太多
I can't believe. I owe you so...
你抱着我走 我爱你
You carried me. I love you.
我爱你 哥们
I love you, man.
我爱你
I love you.
我爱你 说这话我一点不难为情 我就是
I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it. I just...
我 我爱你
I lo...I love you.
-我不难为情 -我爱你
-I'm not embarrassed. -I love you.
我爱你
I love you.
为什么我们不能天天这么说呢
why don't we say that every day?
为什么我们不能把这话多说几遍呢
why can't we say it more often?
我就是爱你 我想冲到房♥顶上喊
I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream:
我爱我最好的朋友埃文
"I love my best friend, Evan."
-我们应该上我家的房♥顶 -当然
-we should go up on my roof. -For sure.
比方说 你在复活节出去度假的时候 我就很想你
Like, when you went away for Easter, on your vacation, I missed you.
-我也想你 -我想让全世界都知道
-I missed you too. -I want the world to know.
这是 这是天底下最美好的事
It's...It's the most beautiful thing in the world.
过来 过来 哥们
Come here. Come here, man.
-我爱你 -我爱你
-I love you. -I love you.
怎么搞的
what the fuck?
-怎么了 -早上了 早上了
-what up? -Morning. Morning.
我该走了 我该走了
I should get moving. I should get moving.
我肯定是该走了
I should be getting a move on, for sure.
你不用 我是说 没必要 你知道
Yeah, you don't...I mean, you don't have to, you know.
我其实没什么事要做
I don't really have anything going on.
你没必要那么着急出去
You don't have to rush off like that.
你想出去逛逛吗
You wanna hang out?
我本来要去商场
I was gonna go to the mall.
我得去买♥♥个新的床罩
I have to get a new comforter.
大学里用 商场应该会卖♥♥这个
For college. The mall, they would sell that.
好 那么
Cool. So...
你妈妈真是巨♥乳♥
...your mom's got huge tits.
你觉得怎样
what do you think?
不知道 别问我
I don't know, man. Don't ask me.
因为我从来不注意裤子的式样
Because I don't give a shit how pants look.
对 我需要听听别人的意见
Yeah, I need someone's opinion.
这些太紧了 真是太紧了
Those are too tight. Those are way too tight.
-是 不过 -是太紧了 你该买♥♥大一号♥的
-Yeah, but, like...-way too tight. You need to upgrade.
这裤子没把该包着的地方包起来 应该再大点
There's not enough pants where there should be. More pants.
是 不过 我是说 你看这样怪吗
Yeah, but...I mean, does it look weird?
好像你站的姿势就很怪
Looks like you're standing funny.
你不该那么站 像鸭子一样
You wouldn't stand like that. Like a duck.
是 不过我是在模仿
Yeah, but I'm doing like...
-我是在摆大学生的姿势 -我不知道你像不像
-I'm doing the college poses like...-I don't know if you are.
-你也许只是 -教授
-You might just be doing...-Hey, prof.
-好 -那次测验
-Okay. -That test was... .
苏珊 你今晚来不来
Hey, Susan. Are you gonna party tonight or no?
不过就是 我还是希望那些地方有裤子包着
Yeah, but that's just...It's like I wish there were more pants where...
你知道 就是这裤子没包住的地方
You know, where there aren't.
不过在我穿你♥爸♥爸的裤子的时候
But when I was wearing your dad's pants...
我就发现 要是我穿稍微小一点的裤子
...I realized that if I wear pants that are a little too small...
也许我就更愿意减肥
...it might encourage me to lose weight.
再说 那些小妞可以看见
And also, chicks can kind of see, like...
稍微看见一点我的小♥弟♥弟♥的轮廓
...you know, the borders and outline of my dick a little.
是 老兄 她们对这个很着迷的
Yeah, man, they go nuts for that.
男人的骆驼蹄子
The male camel toe.
对 骆驼蹄子 就是这样
Yeah, the camel tail. It's right...
我知道这种样子出现在什么地方
I know where it is, where it happens.
好像就是那里
Like, right there.
因为裤子太紧了
It's like they're so tight
所以有一个蛋蛋就被挤到我的小♥弟♥弟♥上面去了
that one ball is, like, above my dick, even.
-是 没错 -就像一分为三
-Yeah, exactly. -It's like three.
好像三样东西 蛋蛋 鸡♥巴♥ 蛋蛋
It's like a three thing. It's like ball, dick, ball.
这好像是分界标志
It's like a division sign.
好比很多人挤在一辆小车里
Like a bunch of people crammed into a van.
-我的屁♥股♥看起来很怪 -有很多地方看起来很怪
-Making my ass look weird? -It makes a lot of stuff look weird.
不 这裤子太紧了
No, those are way too tight.