太坏了

-You ready? Yeah? -Yeah.
-钱和清单给你 -找零是你的
-Here's the money and the list. -Change is yours. Keep the change.
-谢谢 清单有什么用 -是要买♥♥的酒
-Thank you. what's the list for? -The alcohol.
我们要为整个派对买♥♥酒好吗
we're gonna get alcohol for the whole party, okay?
我们花了很长时间写这张清单 所以别出错了
we put a lot of time into this list, so don't fuck it up.
都在上面
It's perfect.
茴香酒 波旁酒 加香朗姆酒 金箔伏特加酒
Ouzo, bourbon, spiced rum, Goldslick... .
金箔伏特加酒是给贝卡买♥♥的 别忘了
Goldslick Vodka. That's for Becca. Don't forget that.
紫红伏特加酒 苏格兰威士忌
Raspberry vodka, Scotch... .
还有凯尔杀手柠檬水 6瓶一包的
And Kyle's Killer Lemonade. A six-pack.
这太多了 我不知道能不能把这么多都带出来
This is a lot. I don't know if I can get away with all this.
带多带少又有什么区别
what difference does it make?
我也不知道 我真的很紧张
I don't know, man. I'm, like, really nervous.
-你还好吗 -不 我该穿那件背心的
-Are you okay? -No, man. I should have wore the vest.
-冷静 -你♥他♥妈♥的怎么了
-Calm down. -what the fuck are you doing?
我进去后他们不卖♥♥我怎么办
what if I go in and they turn me down, man?
那我们就还是像现在这样喽
Then we're in the same place we're in now.
-谁会注意呢 -太丢人了
-who cares? -It's fucking humiliating!
大家都看我被赶出来
Everybody sees them kicking me out.
他们让我把酒放回去怎么办 我才不干呢
what if they make me put the liquor back? I can't do that.
这事要比你更重要 佛格尔
This whole thing is bigger than you, Fogell!
给我长出蛋蛋来 大胆的进去买♥♥酒就是了
So grow a pair of nuts and fucking walk in there and buy the alcohol!
如果我不干呢 塞思 你要怎么样
what if I don't feel like it anymore, Seth? what?
那我就宰了你 好不
Then I'll fucking kill you, okay?
我找把刀把你捅个透心凉
I'll stab you through your fucking heart.
别这样 哥们 你行的 来嘛
No, you can do this, man. Come on.
把我杀了你也拿不到酒 只有我才有假身份证
Killing me won't get you alcohol. I'm the one with the fake ID.
那我就把你的白♥痴♥脸皮撕下来
Then I'll cut your dumb fucking face off...
粘在我的脸上 用你的证去买♥♥酒
...throw it over mine and get your ID and buy it my fucking self!
真的吗 你没有我那么稳重的手
Oh, really? You don't have the technology or the steady hands...
根本做不到 所以 哈
...to pull off a procedure like that, so ha!
闭嘴吧
Peace.
佛格尔 冷静些 进去然后出来
Fogell, just be cool, man. Get in and get out.
你就是英雄
You're the hero.
对不起
Sorry.
21岁以下严禁购买♥♥
有什么问题吗 先生
Is there a problem here, sir?
不 什么问题都没
No. No problem whatsoever.
先生 地上是你弄的吗
Sir, did you do this? On the floor?
不是
No.
你应该把这里擦干净
And you should really clean this up.
不然会伤到人
Someone could really hurt themselves.
我的命真苦
Fuck my life.
我们完蛋了 我们完蛋了
we're so fucked. we're so fucked.
我们的计划上街后就出了问题
This plan's been fucked since Jump Street.
好了 冷静 冷静好吗
Okay, just calm down. Just calm down, all right?
你今晚带避孕套吗
Hey, so did you bring a condom for tonight?
你带了
You brought a condom with you?
是 我觉得应该带 你知道
Yeah. I figured I might as well, you know?
我还带了一瓶杀精♥子♥润滑油
I brought a little bottle of spermicidal lube too.
我刚才说晚上去打炮 你还嘲笑我
You laughed in my face when I said I'd be having sex tonight.
但你还是需要准备
That doesn't mean you shouldn't always be prepared.
-你连避孕套都没带吗 -没有
-You didn't even bring a condom? -No.
不 埃文 计划里没这个
No, Evan, that wasn't part of the plan.
你这样做也不先问问我
You did this without consulting with me.
我们根本没讨论过什么计划 你却老说我们有计划
we've never discussed, like, any plan, but you keep saying we have a plan.
我有个大概的计划 你知道吗
I had, like, a general outline. You know?
我打算跟她口♥交♥ 几个小时吧
I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay?
她喜欢那样 她会感动的 她会爽得昏过去的
She would love that. She'd be smitten. She'd go out with that.
或者我先不脱裤子 在她的腿上磨个痛快
Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg.
我就是不明白 带一个避孕套有什么坏处
well, I just...I don't see the harm in bringing one little condom.
还有一瓶杀精润滑油
And one little bottle of spermicidal lube?
是 一瓶杀精润滑油
Yeah, one little bottle of spermicidal lube.
-埃文 那是神经病用的 -不 不是
-Evan, that's psycho shit, man. -No, it's not.
那是变♥态♥杀人魔用的
That's, like, Charles Manson shit.
什么 你认为那瓶油会让贝卡爽吗
what, do you think Becca's gonna be psyched that you brought lube?
谢谢你给我的小♥穴♥带来那么好的东西
"Oh, Evan. Thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy.
要是你不在我的小♥穴♥里倒那么大一瓶油
I never would've been able to handle your fucking 4-inch dick...
我永远也不可能应付你那4英寸长的鸡♥巴♥
...inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube."
-好了 够了 -妈的
-Okay, that's...That's enough. -Fuck.
他们都是18岁的少女 又不是干瘪的老太太
These girls are 18, they're not dried-up old ladies.
-她们很好办 -好 我不带润滑油
-They're good to go. -Then I won't bring the lube.
别把我说得像坏人一样好吗 我认为这东西很棒的
Don't make me feel like that. I thought it was cool.
-这种不错 -我看看
-This is a nice kind. -Let me see that for a second.
-给人印象深刻 -很不错
-An impressive kind. -It is kind of cool.
-好 -去他妈的 润滑油
-That's cool. -Fucking dumbass. Lube?
-有意思 -你带润滑油
-That's funny. -You brought lube?
掉地上破了 我不捡了 你欠我6元
You owe me 6 bucks because I'm not walking over to get it and it exploded.
你好 明迪
Hello, Mindy.
我喜欢这玩意 几年了一直喝
I love that stuff. Been drinking it for years.
我听说最近他们决定在里面多加些啤酒花
You know, I heard they recently decided to add more hops to it.
好
Okay.
我要你出示证件
I'm gonna need to see some identification.
真的
Really?
让我感到又年轻了 给你
Makes me feel young again. There you go.
妈呀 是凯丽?哈钦斯
Oh, shit, it's Cary Hutchins.
她的奶♥子♥是我看过最大的
She had the biggest tits I've ever seen.
我听说她做过缩胸整形术
I heard she got breast-reduction surgery.
什么 让奶♥子♥变小
what? Making your tits smaller?
这好比是上帝给你一份厚礼 你却回敬他一记耳光
That's like slapping God for giving you a gorgeous gift.
她的后背有问题
She had back problems, man.
再说他们不光缩胸 还对胸部塑形
And it's not just making them smaller. They completely reshape them.
让胸部更柔软匀称
They make them more supple and symmetrical.
我得看看他们搞了些什么把戏
I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks.
我们快上
Let's make a move.
-她转弯了 -快
-She's going around the corner. -Come on!
好了 一共96.59元
Okay. Your total is 96.59.
怎么会这样
I don't believe it!
你还好吗 先生
Are you okay, mister?
刚才是怎么回事
what the shit was that?
怎么会这样 怎么会这样
I don't believe it. I don't believe it.
怎么会这样
I don't believe it.
我也不好说 我认为她以前更漂亮
I don't know, man. I think she looked better before.
但现在她可以轻松慢跑
But now that she can jog comfortably,
体形也保持得非常好
she's in the best shape she's ever...
怎么了 那是什么
what is this? what's that?
天
Oh, man.
糟糕 他们把佛格尔抓住了
Holy shit, they busted Fogell.
怎么会这样 埃文 该死的
How did this happen, Evan? Fuck, man!
他爸会把他宰了
His dad's gonna fucking kill him.
听我说 好吗
Look, okay?
他袭击了这名顾客 拿了钱 然后跑掉了
He assaulted the customer, grabbed the cash and ran out.
那么
So... .
-是多 -是多 是多
-How...? -How...? How...? How...?
我是说 高度方面
Say when, height-wise.
我从上面开始比划 觉得差不多了就说
I'm gonna start up here, tell me when.
-我从下面开始 -你说
-I'll start on the bottom and...-when.
不管怎样 他就是5英尺10英寸
whatever 5'10" is, he was 5'10".
人种方面呢 我是说
Ethnically, I mean, did...what...?
我是说 他是 他长得象我们吗 还是
I mean, was he...? was he like us, or...?
女人
A woman?
-女性 -不是
-Female? -No.
-你是想问这个 -不是 他是
-Is that what you're asking? -No, no. was he...?
-比如 -什么 什么
-Like... . -what? what?
-非洲人 -非 非
-African? -Af...Af...
-他是非洲人吗 -非洲人
-was he African? -African.
不 他是美国人 就象你们一样
No. He was American, and he was like you.
他长得就象你们
He looked just like you.
那么他是犹太人 好的 犹太人
He was Jewish. Okay, Jew.
-犹太人做这种案子有点奇怪 -他们是很守法的
-It's an odd crime for a Jew. -They're pretty docile.
好 我们要找一位非洲犹太人 头戴兜帽
Okay, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.