谋杀疑云

敬反派一杯
here's to the bad guys.
好吧 所以你的未婚妻
Okay, so your fiancée... Hm.
离开了你
...leaves you...
投向了你年长舅舅的怀抱
...for your elderly uncle...
你们两个能闭嘴吗
Will you two kindly shut up?
你才闭嘴
Oh, be quiet.
不然我就告诉大家你偷偷把雪貂带上飞机
Or we shall tell everyone about the ferret you've smuggled in here.
我知道这种情节都很俗气
The whole thing is tawdry, I know.
-很俗气 -他觊觎我的未婚妻
- Tawdry. - He desired my betrothed,
而马尔科姆舅舅总能得到他想要的
and Uncle Malcolm always gets what he wants.
马尔科姆 马尔科姆舅舅
Malcolm. Uncle Malcolm.
-昆斯 -舅舅
- Quince. - Uncle...
马尔科姆·昆斯是你舅舅吗
Malcolm Quince is your uncle?
那个亿万富翁
That billionaire?
-就是他 -天啊
- That's the one. - Oh, my gosh.
他看起来就像这个
He looks just like this...
如果这个皱橄榄有700亿美元的话
if this wrinkled olive had $70 billion.
700亿美元
Seventy billion dollars.
这周末我要搭上那对狗男女的游艇
I'm traveling to Monaco with the newlyweds on his yacht
参加摩纳哥的大奖赛
for the Grand Prix this weekend.
为什么 你为什么要这样做
Why? Why would you do that?
你为什么要在他们的所作所为之后
Why would you go on their yacht
还要搭上他们的游艇呢
after what they just did?
因为我是英国人 斯皮茨太太
Because I'm English, Mrs. Spitz.
我是社交受虐狂
I'm a glutton for social masochism.
我还打算喝得烂醉如泥
And I plan on getting blind drunk
然后在庆祝活动上捣乱
and ruining the festivities.
不错 我赞同
Okay. I support that.
话说 奥黛丽
I say, Audrey... Hm.
你和你丈夫这个周末有什么计划吗
Do you and your husband have plans this weekend?
你真是爱说笑
You made a joke. That's...
妈耶 这飞机还有酒吧吗
Holy shit! This plane has a bar?
先生 这是头等舱的休息室
Sir, this is the first class lounge.
我要请你回到座位上
I'm gonna have to ask you to return to your seat.
现在飞机上都有酒吧了吗
There's bars on planes now?
飞机现在有酒吧了 只在头等舱
Planes have bars now. In first class.
这真是 天哪 我真希望
This is... Man, I wish my mother
我妈妈还活着能看到这个
was still alive to see this.
她是个酒鬼 但还是比较有分寸的
She was an alcoholic, but a nice one.
先生 如果你不回到座位上
Sir, if you don't return to your seat,
我就要呼叫
I'm gonna have to call...
警♥察♥吗
The cops.
那是我老婆
So that's my wife
正在和那个单下巴的帅哥说话
talking to that handsome guy over there with the one chin.
所以我现在要去插上一脚
So I'm gonna go break that shit up,
可能顺便拿瓶啤酒
possibly grab myself a beer,
也许给你拿点阿普唑仑
maybe you a Xanax.
阿普唑仑 常用于镇定剂 治疗焦虑症
…船上的酒值得特地写封推荐信
...the wine on board is worth a letter.
现在的人都不写信了 不是吗
People don't write letters anymore, do they?
-真可惜 -他们俩真是太心机了
- Such a pity. - It's just, it's all so tactical.
是的 没错
Yeah, that's true.
尼克
Nick.
-你好吗 -嗨 亲爱的 你醒了
- How are you? - Hi, honey. You're awake.
-睡的好吗 -醒了一会儿了
- Was your nappie good? - Been awake.
-我在找你 -我知道 我…
- I was looking for you. - I know, I'm...
-我碰到了这位可敬的绅士 -是吗
- Well, I met this lovely gentleman. - Oh, yeah?
我想让你见见查尔斯·卡文迪什
I'd like you to meet Charles Cavendish.
-他是一名勋爵 对吗 -你好
- He's a lord. Right? - How do you do?
-勋爵吗 -实际上是子爵
- A lord? - Well, actually a viscount.
虽然子爵也被称为阁下
Oh. Although viscounts are addressed as Lord,
这可能解释了可爱的奥黛丽的困惑
which probably accounts for the lovely Audrey's confusion.
她也常常把我搞得很混乱
There you go. She gets confused with me too.
她有时候叫我陛下 有时候叫我老爹
Sometimes I'm the king. Sometimes I'm Daddy.
兄弟 能给我瓶啤酒吗
So... can I get a Labatts, brother?
一共17欧元
That'll be 17 euro.
不 不 不
No, no, no. Please.
我请客
The beer is on me.
我不会从陌生人手里拿啤酒的
I'm not just taking a beer from somebody I don't know.
天哪真香
Oh, my gosh.
我希望你能考虑一下我的另一个提议
And I do hope you take advantage of my other offer.
我可不会傻傻站在这里
Hey. I'm not just gonna stand here
看你提出来花钱上我老婆
while you offer to pay me to have sex with my wife.
但出于好奇问一下 你打算出多少
But out of curiosity, how much are we talking?
-真好 -反正我不会答应的
- Great. - I wouldn't do it.
-嘿 听我说 -什么
- Hey, listen to me. - What?
他邀请我们和他以及他的家人一起
He is inviting us to spend the weekend
在游艇上共度周末
with him on a yacht with his family.
我们已经有计划了啊
Well, we have plans.
在大巴上
On a bus.
那是一辆开往田园诗般的
A bus that is bound for the
圣格里吉奥村的大巴
idyllic village of San Grigio,
在那里我们可以观看关于火腿制♥作♥过程
where we can watch a demonstration on how they age ham.
让我来解释一下吧
Let me explain something.
告诉我我错过了什么
Tell me what I'm missing.
-你在开玩笑吧 -说吧
- Are you kidding me? - Go.
我们将在欧洲各港口自♥由♥航行
We would be sailing around European harbors.
-是的 -好吗
- Yeah. - Okay?
我们能吃到刚钓上来的鱼
We'd be eating fresh fish.
-好的 -我们能喝上好的酒
- Right. - And we'd be drinking wine.
我们能一起享受
We'd be together.
听起来不错
That's nice.
-他们有私人♥大♥厨 -他们有私人♥大♥厨
- They have a chef. - They have a chef.
叫莫里斯 莫里斯是吗
His name is Maurice. Maurice?
-莫里斯 是的 -莫里斯
- Maurice, yes. - Maurice.
有些人也叫我莫里斯
"Some people call me Maurice."
还记得那个吗
Remember that one?
我能和你单独谈谈吗 当然
Can I talk to you for a second? Sure.
我明白了
I gotcha.
所以听着…
So listen...
你在做什么
What are you doing?
两个成年人能在飞机洗手间里干什么
Why would two adults come into a bathroom on an airplane?
亲爱的 别闹 我要跟你私下谈谈
Honey, come on. To have a private conversation.
真有趣
Ah, that's funny.
听着 我只是想知道
Listen. I'm just trying to understand
为什么你要拒绝这个千载难逢的机会
why you are turning down the opportunity of a lifetime.
因为我不相信那个人
Because I don't trust that guy.
-为什么 -直觉告诉我的
- Why? - 'Cause instincts.
你的直觉吗
Your instincts?
就是那个直觉告诉你我们要进来打炮吗
The same ones that told you you were about to get laid in here?
我没得炮打了吗
I'm not getting laid?
拜托 下次你和我能
Come on! When is the next time you
搭上一艘游艇得等到何时啊
and I are gonna be able to get on a yacht?
我只想说 每次我们在吃火腿三明治时
I'm just saying, all those times we're eating ham sandwiches
你总是问这些火腿是怎么制♥作♥的
and you're always asking, "How do they age the ham?"
-我从没问过 -我们再也不会疑惑了
- Never had that... - We'll never ask that question again
正因我们会在圣格里吉奥
because we'll be in San Grigio.
我从来没问过
That never happened.
他们会告诉我们怎么做出如此完美的火腿
They'll give us the reason on how they do it so perfectly.
好了 你想知道听实话吗
Okay. You wanna know the truth?
-你伤了我的心 -为什么
- You're breaking my heart right now. - Why?
我觉得自己像个傻子
I feel like a schmuck
因为我一直在忙着存钱
because I've been working my ass off and
现在你知道为什么了
saving money, and now you know why.
就是为了我们这趟旅行
It was to take us on this trip.
而且我知道我不是公爵
And I know I'm not a duke.
我了解 他是子爵 但是…
I understand. He's a viscount, but...
我甚至不知道那是什么
I don't even know what that is.
我知道 没关系
I know. It's okay.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我爱你