他其实没那么喜欢你（2009）

...of not knowing whether or not you're gonna make it?
或许有过吧
Maybe.
让我猜猜
当不久前的那个夜里 当你想着Conor的时候
When you were stalking Conor the other night...
你是不是一直都纠结他为什么不打电♥话♥
...were you obsessing about him calling...
不停来回踱步 老是盯着自己的手♥机♥
...constantly pacing back and forth, staring at your phone for days...
即使这次约会其实再平常不过了?
...even though the date was just kind of mediocre?
好吧 是的
Okay. Yeah.
因为你热衷戏剧性情节 谢谢
Because you all thrive on the drama. Thank you.
听着 你应该学学我 如果这姑娘喜欢我 很棒
Look, you gotta be more like me. If a girl likes me, great.
但如果没有...天涯何处无芳草?
But if not, there are plenty more out there like her, you know?
到处是皮肤比她好 胸也比她大的女人
With smaller pores and bigger implants.
真棒 我知道
That's beautiful. I know.
为什么你又和我分享这些私密约会信息?
Why are you sharing all of this inside dating information with me again?
我不知道 我喜欢你
I don't know, I like you.
真的?
You do?
是啊 不过别在草稿本上写我名字哈
Well, yeah. Okay, don't start doodling my name on your binder, okay?
我意思是 我喜欢你就像喜欢短腿猎犬一样
I just mean... I mean, I like you the way I like basset hounds.
都是有点可怜兮兮的样子 所以就想让他们开心起来
Something pathetic about them. You just wanna cheer them up.
你又敏感起来了
Again with the sensitivity.
敬敏感一杯
To sensitivity.
看起来不错
It looks good.
是啊
Yeah.
是啊
Yeah.
他干得不错 没错
He does good work. Yeah, he does.
非常不错
Very nice.
非常不错
Very nice.
Javier? 什么事?
Javier? Yeah.
Javier...
Javier...
如果我坦诚地问个问题...
...if I asked you an honest question...
你能坦诚地回答吗?
...do you think you could give me an honest answer?
可以 很好 很好
I think so. Good, good.
因为我觉得你的工人中有人吸烟
Because I think some of your guys might be smoking.
Javier?
Javier?
你要问的就是这个? 是的
Is that the question? Yes.
这话不像个问句 是个隐蔽的问题
Seemed like a statement. The question part's implied.
我真的没听出来那语气
I really didn't hear it in the inflection.
Javier
Javier...
你的人有吸烟...
...have you guys been smoking...
还是没有?
...or not?
没有 夫人 我的人不会在工地吸烟 他们都是好工人
No, ma'am. My guys, they don't smoke on the job site. They're good guys.
你确定你的人...
Are you sure your guys haven't been...
没有偷偷摸摸地...
...sneaking around here?
吸烟吗?
And smoking?
没对我说谎?
And lying to me?
没背着我吸烟吗?
And smoking?
我敢肯定
I'm pretty sure.
我要你诚实地回答 Javier
I need you to be honest with me, Javier.
因为我不希望有人
Because I can't have someone lying to me.
当我的面 在我的家 还在我在时说谎
To my face, under my roof, on my time.
好多介词啊
That's a lot of prepositions.
我是说也没必要不诚实 对吧?
I mean, there's no reason for that kind of dishonesty, is there?
毕竟我们之间有过承诺的
I mean, we made promises to each other.
虽然是合同
I mean, we have a contract.
但也算是种承诺 对吧?
That's like making promises. Isn't it?
也许我该回去干活了
Maybe I should get back to work.
哦 是的 是的
Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.
很好 是的
That's great, yeah.
Javier? 什么事?
Javier? Yeah.
我们没事 对吧? 你我之间
We're good. Right? You and me.
哦 是的 是的 没事 哦 很好
Oh, yeah, yeah. We're good. Oh, good.
好的 那就好
Okay, that's great.
他是干得不错
Yeah, he did great work.
嗨
Hey.
欢迎大家 谢谢光临 我是Conor
Welcome, everybody. Thanks for coming. I'm Conor.
有时间的话请登记一下 请不要拘束
Sign in when you get a second. Make yourselves at home.
那里有饼干和些冰镇饮料 请自便
We got some cookies over here, some cold beverages. Help yourself.
Conor 你真是房♥地♥产♥的明星
Conor, you are the Liza Minnelli of real estate.
我知道 你的朋友Mary真有才 我知道 她很能干
I know. Your friend Mary's a genius. I know, she's so great.
我得走了 我们呆会见
Well, I gotta go, so I guess I'll see you later.
怎么 你有课还是...?
What, you got a class, or?
是的 不 不 只是有点事...
Yeah. No. No, just something.
要去做 好吧 那么...
Stuff I gotta do. Okay. Well...
一会儿见 拜 好的
I'll see you. Okay. Bye. Okay.
好的 拜
Okay. Bye.
一会儿见 好的 再联♥系♥我
See you later. All right. Call me.
什么?
What?
她对你有所隐瞒 对吧?
She's holding out on you, isn't she?
我没听懂你什么意思
Not quite sure I get your meaning.
显然她不会和你睡了
It's obvious she won't sleep with you.
看你那小狗狗的委屈脸就知道了
It's written all over your puppy-dog face.
真的是折磨啊 我快要死了 给 吃个饼干吧
It's killing me, literally. I'm dying. Here, have a cookie.
不 不用
No, I'm cool.
都不知道她是怎么想了 我都读不懂她了
I don't know what she's doing. I cannot read her signals.
我们以前经常滚床单的
We used to sleep together all the time.
那不是真话 也不知道怎么说出口的
That's not true. I don't know why I said that.
不是很经常 但也睡过 我可没瞎编
It wasn't all the time, but it happened. I know I'm not just making this up.
突然有一天就停止了 但她还是会找我
And then out of nowhere it just stops. But she still calls.
让我给她按♥摩♥捶背 发些有趣的短♥信♥
She wants a massage. She leaves cute messages.
但又没进一步发展 她到底想干吗?
But it's not going anywhere. What is she doing?
说真的 我们也许不是各中高手
Honestly, we may not have the best insight.
同志间的信♥号♥♥和直人间的完全不一样
Gay signals have nothing to do with straight signals.
他说得对 信♥号♥♥完完全全不一样
He's right. The signals are totally different.
比如说这样 这是"我想和你上♥床♥"的信♥号♥♥
Like, here. Here's "I wanna sleep with you."
一 二 三
One, two, three.
就这样 三秒或再长点 这就对上眼了
That's it, three seconds or more, it's on.
这是"我不想和你上♥床♥"的信♥号♥♥
And here's "I don't wanna sleep with you."
一 二...
One, two...
不 承蒙厚爱 继续寻觅 就这么简单
Nope, thanks for playing, move along. It's that simple.
你说得对 对我一点帮助都没有
You're right, that didn't help me at all.
好吧 那么这么说吧
不论同志还是直人 你不行动就只能原地踏步
Gay or straight, you're not gonna get anywhere by being inactive.
她喜欢你 也许她想你主动做些什么
She likes you. Maybe she just wants you to be a man and do something.
能给我个葡萄燕麦饼干吗?
Hit me up with an oatmeal raisin, will you?
谢谢 给你
Thanks. Here you go.
...如果她不跟你上♥床♥...
如果那女孩喜欢你 她就会和你上♥床♥
If a girl's into you, she's sleeping with you.
如果过了一个或两个月后...
If after a month, or two months at the very outside...
她都没有和你上♥床♥?
...she's not sleeping with you?
那她就不喜欢你
She doesn't like you.
诀窍是要先知先觉
The trick is to spot this girl early.
不要浪费1到7周才发觉
Don't wanna waste the one to seven weeks waiting to find out it's never gonna happen.
所以我找出了一些能察觉这种事的迹象
So I've come up with some signs about how to spot this girl.
不和你上♥床♥的女孩...
A girl will never sleep with you...
会说你"逗人喜爱"或"可靠"
...if she calls you "cuddly" or "dependable."
或在你面前挤青春痘
If she pops a zit in front of you...
或者她名叫Amber或Christine
...if her name is Amber or Christine...
或者会在你的厕所上大号♥
...if she takes a dump in your bathroom...
或会在前三次约会时打包剩菜回家
...or she takes home leftovers on dates one, two, or three.
我知道那不科学
I know it's not scientific...
但只想说你该警惕了
...but I'm just saying, you were warned.
等等 停
Wait, stop.
怎么?
What?
该死
Shit.
怎么啦?
What?
我好喜欢你
I am so into you.
真的 从没有过这感觉
Seriously, I've never felt like this before.
我真的得关停大脑才能不想你
I have to actively stop my brain from thinking about you.
因为一直都在想你
Like, all the time.
那为什么停下来?
Why stop?
因为我不做这样的事
Because I don't do stuff like this.
什么事?
Stuff like what?