他其实没那么喜欢你（2009）

和老婆以外的女人们睡觉
Like sleep with women that aren't my wife.
第一 我不是"女人们" 只是一个女人
First of all, I am not "women," I'm just one.
第二呢?
And second of all?
哦 没有第二了
Oh, I didn't have a second of all.
我倒希望有"第二" 那能让我好过点
I was hoping "second of all" would make me feel better.
第二
Second of all...
我也不能停止不想你
...I can't stop thinking about you either.
他铁了心要为我离开他老婆了 真疯狂
He's totally leaving his wife for me. That's crazy.
太疯狂了 我们彼此几乎都不了解
That's crazy. We hardly know each other.
不知道啦 看看Becca
I don't know. I mean, look at Becca.
我妹妹的那个朋友
You know, my sister's friend.
在Bennigan餐馆为她服务的一个服务生
One guy waits on her at Bennigan's...
等吃完饭 他们就知道彼此找到了另一半
...and by the end of the meal, they both knew they had found the one.
你说得对 全对了 这种事会发生的 对吧?
You're right. You're totally right. I mean, it could happen, right?
我就不走运了
Not for me.
那个短♥信♥男呢?
What about texter?
短♥信♥男还没发过语♥音♥信息
Texter has yet to make verbal contact.
那人可能动过手术 切除了声带
I mean, this guy could've had surgery, leaving him without a voice box...
只能靠个气孔呼吸
...breathing through a stoma...
而我也不知道真假 因为从没听过他的声音
...and I would never know because I've never actually heard his voice.
我倒怀疑他有没有气孔
Well, I doubt he has a stoma.
这不是重点 我不能发短♥信♥
That's not the point. I can't text.
不能通过短♥信♥来发媚功
You know, I'm not charming via text.
也许你该停发了
Maybe you should just stop texting.
但不只是短♥信♥ 还有电邮 语♥音♥信箱 普通邮件
But it's not just texting, it's e-mail. It's voicemail. It's snail mail.
都是常用的邮件啊
That's regular mail.
管他呢 都不管用
Whatever. None of it's working.
有个男的在我语♥音♥信箱里留了言 然后我打到他家里
I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home.
之后他发电邮到我的黑莓手♥机♥ 我就发短♥信♥给他
And then he e-mailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell.
之后他又发电邮到我的电子邮箱 整件事都失控了
Then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control.
我想念只有一个电♥话♥号♥码和一台录音机
And I miss the days where you had one phone number and one answering machine.
而且录音机只用卡带的时代了
And that one answering machine housed one cassette tape...
那卡带里面要么有男人的留言 要么就没有
...and that one cassette tape either had a message from the guy or it didn't.
不像现在要查过所有不同的接受器
And now you have to go around checking all these different portals...
结果发现7种科技产品上的信息 都是在拒绝你
...just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
太累人了
It's exhausting.
那个MySpace上的人?
What about that MySpace guy?
Jude 我喜欢他 不错啊
Jude. I like him. Good.
是啊 我感觉我们心心相印
Yeah, I felt like we connected.
很好啊
Great.
如果她想你吻她呢?
What if she wants you to kiss her?
那我只好去吻她了
Well, then I guess I'm just gonna have to kiss her.
"Amanda Jones又不是棒球联队的
"Amanda Jones is no minor leaguer...
不会被你那没经验的嘴碰一下 就神魂颠倒"
...who'll be swept off her feet at the touch of your amateur lips."
我这嘴可是经验老到了
This babe has plenty of battle scars.
你好?
Hello?
哦 嘿 你在家啊
Oh, hey, you're home.
不然我该在哪?
Where am I supposed to be?
也许在外面吧? 现在是周六晚上啊
Out, maybe? It's Saturday night.
你不让我和不喜欢我的男人出去 那就有所限制了
You won't let me go out with guys who don't like me. It's kind of limiting.
是啊 听着 我本想留言的
Right. Listen, I was just gonna leave a message.
下周末我会办个派对 你该来玩玩
I'm having a party next weekend. You should come.
哦 不知道啦 Conor不会也去吧? 那会比较尴尬的
Oh, I don't know. Won't Conor be there? Might be kind of awkward.
他那天去华盛顿开房♥地♥产♥会议 但还是有很多单身男人到场的
He's at a real-estate conference in D.C. But there'll be a lot of single guys.
那么我尴尬的机会也会很多了
So there will be plenty of chances for me to be awkward.
别担心 我也在 我会帮你圆场的
Don't worry, I'll be there. I'll talk you through it.
哦 得挂了
Okay, gotta go.
貌似有人打翻了84000个盘子 希望到时能见到你
Someone just dropped like 84,000 plates. Maybe I'll see you there.
你在忙啊 我不该打给你的 是你打给我的
You're busy. I shouldn't have called. You called me.
是的 没事 拜
Yup, good. Bye.
你 你要怎么做?
How...? How do you work on it?
当我是个女孩好了
Pretend I'm a girl, okay?
我是说...
I mean...
当我是她
...pretend I'm her.
Amanda
Amanda.
他喜欢我
He's into me.
好极了 我就知道
Awesome. I knew it.
这次是谁? Alex
Who's this now? Alex.
现在都明了了 他是Watts
It's totally clear to me now. He's Watts.
他是什么? 电视剧"妙不可言"里的
He's what? From Some Kind of Wonderful.
我以为Mary Stuart Masterson演Watts呢
I thought Mary Stuart Masterson was Watts.
是的 那为什么你不是Watts?
Yes. So why aren't you Watts?
我是Eric Stoltz
I'm Eric Stoltz.
Alex是Watts Watts帮Eric Stoltz约会Amanda Jones
Alex is Watts. Watts helps Eric Stoltz go on a date with Amanda Jones.
但其实她爱着Eric Stoltz
Really, she's in love with Eric Stoltz.
这么说Amanda Jones是Conor了?
So Amanda Jones is Conor?
我想是吧 首先现在是男人为多 但这不是重点
I guess. At first. Now men in general, but that's not the point.
重点是他喜欢我
The point is he's into me.
就知道他这么花时间帮你是有原因的
I knew there had to be some reason why he was spending that time with you.
我知道 现在很明显了 迹象多得去了
I know. It's so obvious now. There are so many signs.
迹象 爱死迹象了 你得说说了 我爱死那些迹象了
Signs. Love signs. You gotta tell me about the signs. I love signs.
开始还都不清晰 首先 当我打去时 他说"真高兴你打来"
First they were small. At first when I called, he said, "Good to hear from you."
绝对是好迹象 是吧?
Totally good sign. Right?
第二次我打去时 他正和一个女人在一起
And then the next time I called he was with a woman...
但他拿起电♥话♥ 和我聊了很久
...but he took the call and we talked for a while.
你怎么知道是个女人? 他叫她"宝贝"
You know it was a woman? Called her "babe."
好了 男人不会轻易丢下个女人 去和另一个聊天的 除非他...
Okay, a guy doesn't leave a woman to go talk to another woman unless he's...
接着就更明显了
And it gets more obvious.
我是说 拜托 他才不会帮我找对象呢
I mean, please. There was no guy he was gonna fix me up with.
那个对象就是他自己
The fix-up was him.
不会吧
No.
是的 他没带那个编造的Bill来见面
Yes. He shows up without this fictitious Bill character.
我们两基本上就算是在约会了
The two of us basically have a date.
然后打来邀请我 参加在他那举办的派对
And then he calls and invites me to a party at his place.
他很喜欢你啊
He so likes you.
真替你高兴
I'm so happy for you.
来找找你的理想结婚场地吧
Let's look up places for your destination wedding.
你觉得纳帕溪谷怎么样?
How do you feel about Napa Valley?
我一直都想去那里
I have really always wanted to go there.
哦 他真帅
Oh, he's cute.
是啊 闷骚却感性
Yeah. Smoldering but sensitive.
哦 "吉他是我的所有 琴弦啊 真理啊"
Oh. "All I have is my guitar, these chords, and the truth."
正点啊
Bon Jovi.
性感啊 是啊 我喜欢他
That's hot. Yeah. I like him.
他可能还不会打来 因为我们昨晚刚一起喝咖啡
I mean, he probably hasn't called yet because we just had coffee last night.
真的? 是的
Really? Yeah, you know.
那个 我们一边喝咖啡 一边在iChat里聊视频
I mean, we actually video iChatted while holding coffee.
但差不多了 对吧?
But that's the same thing, right?
是啊 是啊 打去你语♥音♥信箱吧
Right, right. Just call your voicemail.
好吧 但他昨晚有个演出 可能很晚才回家
Yeah, but he had a gig last night and he probably didn't get home till late.
我有说过他是歌♥手吗? 嗯嗯
Did I tell you he's a singer? Mm-hm.
打吧 哦 亲爱的 不 用免提
Just call. Oh, honey, no, on speaker.
我不确定 他应该没打来
I don't think so. I'm sure he hasn't called.
打吧 好吧
Just call him. Okay.
您有两条新留言
You have two new messages. Oh.
Mary
Mary
哦 Mary Mary Mary Mary
Whoa, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary
哦 我的Mary
Oh, my Mary
我都硬起来了
I just got hard.
嘿 Mary 我是Jude
Hey, Mary, it's Jude.
我打来只想再次告诉你 能遇见你真是特别的经历
I was just calling to tell you again how special it was to meet you.
回我电♥话♥哦 拜拜
So call me back. Bye-bye.
好棒啊
Amazing.
很不错 很不错 这真是...
This is good, this is good. This is...
瞧 他打了
See, he called.
Jenny
Jenny
哦 Jenny Jenny Jenny
Whoa, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny
嘿 Jenny 我是Jude 我打来只想...
Hey, Jenny, it's Jude. I was just calling to...
哦 该死的 我拨了什么号♥码啊?
Whoa, shit. What number did I just dial?
所有留言已删除
All messages erased.