他其实没那么喜欢你（2009）

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
他其实没那么喜欢你
女孩子不会忘记第一个喜欢过的男孩
A girl will never forget the first boy she likes.
甚至是尴尬的过去
Even if things don't quite work out.
你干嘛推我啊?
Why did you do that?
因为你身上有狗屎味
Because you smell like dog poo.
你真蠢 跟狗屎似的
You're so stupid, just like dog poo.
你就是用狗屎做的!
You're made out of poo!
但通常会有人来说些 安抚神伤的智慧话语
But usually someone is there to offer words of wisdom.
是...
Made...
...用...
...of...
...狗...
...dog...
...屎做的
...poo.
宝贝...
Honey...
你知道那小男孩为什么 这么做这么说吗?
...do you know why that little boy did those things and said those things?
因为他喜欢你
It's because he likes you.
就是这样
And there it is.
这就是我们纠结的开端
That's the beginning of our problem.
这个小男孩欺负你 是因为他迷上你了
That little boy is doing those terrible things because he's got a crush on you.
你知道这是什么意思吗?
Do you know what this means?
我们都被鼓励着去...
We're all encouraged...
...不 是被设定了...
...no, programmed...
...去相信这个事实-- 如果一个男人做点蠢事...
...to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk...
...就意味着他喜欢你
...that means he likes you.
问题是这样的: 只因他太爱你了
He likes you too much.
你这么漂亮又如此迷人
You're too pretty and too awesome.
没错 他处理不来
Yes. He can't handle it.
显然 那个叫Phi Delt的喜欢你
That Phi Delt so obviously liked you.
我肯定他只是弄丢了你的号♥码
I'm sure he just lost your number.
他不敢约你出去 是因为他被你成功的事业吓到了
He's not asking you out because he's intimidated by your professional success.
他不约你 是被你丰富的感情经历吓到了
哦 是这样啊
相信我 这只是因为 他刚结束一段刻骨铭心的感情
Trust me. It's because he's just getting out of a serious relationship.
相信我 这是因为他从未有过一段刻骨铭心的感情
Trust me. It's because he's never had a serious relationship.
他可能忘了你住哪间茅舍
或者被狮子吃掉了
你们人真好
为什么我们要说这些互相安慰的话?
Why do we say this stuff to each other?
可能是因为我们害怕...
Is it possible that it's because we're too scared...
...也很难开口承认这个明显的事实...
...and it's too hard to say the one obvious truth...
...这都写在大家脸上了
...that's staring everyone in the face?
他其实'不'那么喜欢你
Janine说你是房♥地♥产♥经纪人
So Janine says you're a real-estate agent.
对 但我可不像那种烂俗的经纪人 ...
Yeah, but I'm not one of those cheesy ones...
把自己的大头照贴满巴士椅子和杂货店推车
...that puts my headshots on bus benches and grocery carts.
只是贴在飞盘和记事本上?
So just, like, Frisbees and notepads?
差不多吧
Basically.
这样更经典 实际上也是我的创意
It's much classier. My thoughts exactly.
奇怪Janine之前为啥没想过介绍我们认识呢
Wonder why Janine never thought to introduce us before.
我不知道 我不知道哦啊
I don't know. I don't know.
嘿 你们好 再喝点别的什么吗? 你还想来一杯吗?
Hey, guys. Want another round? You want one more?
如果你要喝的话 要是你想走 我完全...
Only if you do. I mean, if you need to get going, I totally...
呣...
Uh...
好 那好吧...
Okay, well...
当然喝啦 再来一杯 Ketel伏特加混苏打?
Sure. One more. Ketel and soda?
再来一杯啤酒 谢谢
And a beer, please.
马上送上
Be right back.
好的 Conor 我今晚过得很愉快 很高兴认识你
Well, Conor, I had a really nice time. It was really nice meeting you.
再见 再见
Bye. See you.
嘿 是我
Hey, it's me.
他人不错 我觉得一切进展顺利
He's cute, and I think it went well.
我想在我们说话的这会儿 他正给我家里留言呢
And I think he might be leaving me a message at home as we speak.
嘿 是我 只想跟你说我很想你
Hey, it's me. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.
哦 你真好 Conor 谢谢你
Oh, that's very sweet of you, Conor. Thanks.
听着 我想问你想不想出来吃点消夜
Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a late bite.
今晚? 我...
Tonight? I...
不了 我本来要去见朋友的 但我累坏了 别生气哦
No, I was supposed to meet friends but I'm burnt out. Don't be mad at me.
不 不会的 我没生气 我等你一会
No, of course, I'm not mad. Well, I'll be up for a while.
你想先付账吗? 我会等你的
Do you wanna go ahead of me? I'll be up.
哦 先别挂电♥话♥? 好的
Oh, can you hold on? Okay.
不用了 没关系 你只买♥♥一件...
No, that's fine. You just have one thing, so...
不是哦 实际上我买♥♥了6瓶...
No, technically I have six...
我还在考虑要不要买♥♥口香糖 我想还是你先结账吧
...and I'm mulling over a gum purchase, so I think you should go.
好的
Okay.
我一会打给你吧
Let me call you right back.
好的 好的
All right. Okay.
你好 嘿
Hi. Hey.
这个和这个 谢谢
Just that and that, please.
谢谢
Thank you.
哦 天啊
Oh, my word.
真的吗? 不可能啊
Seriously? That's not possible.
我三天前才存的钱 不可能就透♥支♥了
I just deposited cash three days ago, so it's just not possible.
哦 不是那样的 我再查一个号♥
Oh, it's not that. Let me check something.
恭喜你 你中奖了
Congratulations, you won.
什么?
What?
这是我们Funky Fall大促销活动 你是我们本月第一千名顾客
Our Funky Fall promotion. You're our 1000th customer this month.
什么?
What?
你别是开玩笑吧?
Are you kidding me?
我从不开玩笑
I don't do kidding.
哦 天啊 真不敢相信 太兴奋了
Oh, my God. I can't believe this, it's so exciting.
哦 天啊 我从未中过奖
Oh, my God. I never won anything before.
这是我经历过的最激动的事了 太惨了点 对吧?
This is the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. Is that sad?
对不 我想不算是吧
Yea... No. I don't think so.
真的? 没错
Really? Yes.
谢谢! 过来
Thank you! Come here.
哇
Wow.
正当Terps球员冲向专场 试着将...
As the Terps move to mid-ice, trying to...
嘿 嘿
Hey. Hey.
约会的怎样? 还不错 就那样
How was the date? It was fine. Whatever.
你怎么在这儿? 我家有线电视坏了
Why are you here? My cable's out.
加油 Spiewak 你可不是Ice Capades (冰上表演团)
Come on, Spiewak, it's not the Ice Capades.
你没听见过电♥话♥响 对吧?
You didn't hear the phone ring by any chance, did you?
对 没有 他♥娘♥的♥
No, I didn't. Shit.
Anna又对我耍了老一套 说 "我一会打给你 "
Anna gave me the old, "I'll call you right back."
哦 真惨 对吧? 多久了?
Oh, shit, yeah? Well, how long ago?
22分钟了
That was 22 minutes ago.
我要打回去吗?
Do I call back?
你需要打回去? 不 当然不需要
Should you call back? No, absolutely not.
我要打给她 说我要睡觉了
I'm gonna call back and say I'm going to bed.
什么? 不是吧 才9点半 你就要-?
What? No. It's 9:30. You're gonna...?
不 这是个好主意
No, it's a great idea.
我都要打给她说 " 如果你想打电♥话♥给我 别打了...
I'll call and say, "In case you were gonna call me back, don't...
...因为我要睡觉了 " 绝妙的主意
...because I'll be sleeping." A genius idea.
好吧 不止 那简直是无敌棒的主意
Okay, no, that's brilliant.
等你起来你可以告诉她 "我现在起床了 可以接你电♥话♥了 "
When you wake up you can say, "I'm awake now, I'm available to take your call."
哦 天啊 等一下
Oh, gosh. A second.
很抱歉 没事的
Sorry about that. It's all right.
我-
I was...
等等 我刚说到哪儿了?
Wait, what was I saying again?
你不希望和老妈一样 某天起来...
You don't wanna be like your mother, wake up one morning...
...意识到自己从未追求过梦想
...and realize you never pursued your dreams.
我真是这么说的?
Is that what I was saying?
想嚼口香糖吗? 不了 谢谢
You want some gum? No, thank you.
天啊 这一次购物聊天聊得够久的了
God, that's kind of heavy for a grocery chat.
不 没事的 不是吗?
No, that's okay. Isn't it?
抱歉 我可能能够帮你
Sorry. I actually might be able to help.
没错 我公♥司♥里面有个同事 他专门负责搞音乐的客户
Yeah, I know a guy at my office who deals exclusively with music clients.
你不会开玩笑吧? 呣 呣
Are you kidding? Uh-uh.
哦 天啊
Oh, my God.
难道你是我的救世主啊? 不是
Are you my savior or something? No.
你能帮我拿一下吗? 可以
Can you hold this for a second? Yeah.
哦 真是意外啊
Oh, this is so unexpected.
好吧...
Okay...
我不能...
I don't...