一个好人（2023）

Well, look who it is.
嗨，爸爸
Hi, Dad.
什麽风把你吹到这个破地方来了？
What brings you to the less glamorous side of the river?
芮恩要我来找她
Ryan asked me to come see her.
原来她是要我跟你谈
Turns out, she really wanted me to talk to you.
她很担心你
Oh? - She's worried about you.
她很担心我？
She's worried about me?
那小鬼疯了
That girl's crazy.
她说她觉得你需要朋友
She says she thinks you need a friend.
我才不需要朋友
Hell, I don't need a friend.
我只是需要能关得住青少女的狗笼
I need a dog crate the size of a teenager.
听着，奈森 我明白你
Look, Nathan, I understand your need
在分手之后得往前走
to move on after the breakup...
但是我没想到
but, hell, I never imagined
这一切竟然得要我自己来
I'd be doing this all by myself.
你养大了两个小孩
You raised two kids.
当时还有你妈妈
I had your mother.
而且你和你妹妹比小芮乖多了
And you and your sister were much better behaved than Ry.
怎麽样？拜託，有话就说，儿子
What? Come on. Speak your mind, son.
我们很乖是因为我们怕你
We were good because we were terrified of you.
所以当你没了
So, I'm not surprised
这项武器之后
you don't have any tools in your arsenal
就治不住小孩，我并不意外
since you lost the only one that you had.
恐惧
Fear.
我已经为我的行径道歉过不下千百次
I have apologized 100 times to you for the way I was.
你妹妹找到方法给我一次机会
Your sister found a way to give me another chance.
怎麽你就不行？
How come you can't?
因为最深受其害的人不是茉莉 你说是吧？
'Cause Molly never really got the brunt of it, did she?
我保证要是她现在还在这裡
I guarantee you that if she was standing here now,
她一定会求你 放下这一切
she would be begging you to drop this shit,
帮我养育她的孩子
and help me raise her child.
但是她不在了
Well, she isn't.
对，她不在了
No, she's not.
我得去赶火车
I have to catch the train.
我见到艾莉森了
I saw Allison.
在哪裡？
Where?
我不能说
Not supposed to say.
匿名戒酒会？
AA?
我不能说
Not supposed to say.
她去匿名戒酒会做什麽？
What the hell does she need AA for?
我不能… -说
I'm not supposed to... - To say.
我知道
I got it.
聚会这麽多，她却去了你那场？
Of all the meetings, she ends up at yours?
她看到我原本想离开
She saw me, she tried to run away,
但是我把她拉回来
but I pulled her back.
为什麽？
Why?
她很痛苦，奈森
She's suffering, Nathan.
大受打击
Broken.
失魂落魄
Lost.
当初是你怪罪她的
You're the one who blamed her!
我一直都挺她
I stood by her!
对，直到她抛下你
Yeah, until she left your ass.
对不起，我没有那个意思
Sorry. Sorry, that came out harsher than I meant.
我得去赶火车了
I have to catch the train.
拜託，奈森
Please, Nathan.
我需要帮助
I need help.
芮恩要我过来跟你打招呼
Ryan asked me to come by and say "hi" to you.
我来了
And I did.
好
Okay.
你好
Hi.
史上最棒的约会 -这话我听过
Best first date ever. - I heard that.
我以前常会喝威士忌喝到不省人事
I used to drink whiskey until I blacked out.
隔天早上醒来才发现
Wake up the next morning to find out
我做了什麽事，身边是什麽人
what I had done, who I had been.
我父亲是个酒鬼
My father was a drunk.
他一直揍我，揍到他死去的那天
He beat me right up to the day he died.
我发誓我绝对不会对小孩动手
And I vowed I would never lay a hand on my children.
而我也真的没有
And I didn't...
但仅限于我清醒的时候
while I was sober.
但是发酒疯的时候…
But in the blackness...
我总是拒绝承认，因为我真的记不得
I always denied because I really couldn't remember.
有时候会有瘀伤
Sometimes there'd be a bruise.
〝你一定是跌倒了〞
"Oh, you must have fallen down.
〝我是你♥爸♥爸，我绝对不会伤害你〞
"I'm your daddy. I would never hurt you."
1999年8月11日
August 11th, '99...
我在我家前阳台被教会的钟声
I woke up on my front porch to the sound of church bells...
和冰淇淋车的声音吵醒
and an ice cream truck.
所以我知道那天是星期天
So, I knew it was Sunday.
我第一眼看到的景象
是我的队长
First thing I saw was my captain
站在我前面
standing over me,
用他的手电筒戳着我的肋骨
poking me in the ribs with his nightstick.
救护车
An ambulance.
我儿子奈森
坐在后面
My son, Nathan, sitting in the back,
头流着血
bleeding from the head.
医护人员买♥♥了冰棒给他
Medics had bought him a popsicle.
原来
Turns out that...
在我发酒疯的时候
in the blackness...
我疯狂揍他
I had beat him so bad
结果导致他的右耳
that he lost the hearing in his right ear.
永远失聪
Forever.
直到现在，每次我见到他
And to this day, every time I see him,
都会求他原谅我
I beg for his forgiveness.
这是我们的默契
It's just a little dance we do.
就是个形式而已
A mere formality.
因为我们都知道
Because we both know...
有些事情
that there are some things that are just
是无法原谅的
impossible to forgive.
我相信
连神都知道这点
I do believe even God knows that.
我当警♥察♥的时候，每天都来这裡吃饭
When I was a cop, I used to eat here every day.
咖啡可以免费续杯
Free coffee refills.
妳饿吗？
You hungry?
不饿
No.
那些我们不再在乎的事说来很有趣
Funny, the things we stop caring about.
我以前总是很想旅行
I used to want to travel.
我会看着《国家地理杂♥志♥》
I would leaf through National Geographic
折起我退休之后
and dog-ear all of the exotic places
想去的外国景点
I would visit once I retired.
我现在不这麽做了
Never do that now.
你还是可以呀 -没办法
You still could. - No, no. I couldn't.
对了，我当时并没有…
喝醉酒
或嗑了什麽药
I wasn't drunk, or on anything, by the way.
什麽？
What?
我那天在聚会看到你的时候
When I saw you the other day at the meeting,
立刻就开始担心你可能会以为
I instantly got worried that you may have thought that I was drinking or on drugs
事发当天我喝了酒或嗑了药 并没有
on the day of the accident, and I wasn't.
我当时很清醒 那不是我的错
I was sober. It wasn't my fault.
我所有报告都倒背如流
I have every report ever written committed to memory.
对
Right.
那你就知道一切都是那个
So, you know that it was
开挖土机的阿瓦瑞兹害的
the backhoe guy's fault, Alvarez.
我现在不想谈这个
I don't wanna get into that all right now.
好，你说得对
Okay, yeah, you're right.
奈森说他出生就听不见了
Nathan said that he was deaf since birth.
他从来没告诉过妳？
He never told you?
也许他希望我能喜欢你
Maybe he wanted me to like you.
我怀疑
I doubt that.
我以为养育芮恩能给我机会
I thought that raising Ryan would offer me the chance
成为比以前更好的父亲
to be a better father than I ever was.
妈的
Shit.