一个好人（2023）

like, fucking sleep at night.
我有很长一段时间 以为是我做错了事
For so long, I thought that I'd done something wrong.
觉得那是我的错，或是我让他失望了
Like, it was my fault, or I'd let him down.
后来我才明白
And then I just realized,
我也说不上来 也许有些人就不是好人
I don't know, maybe some people just aren't good.
这彷彿就是在电玩裡用全新的生命
It's kinda like he, like, restarted a level
开启新的关卡
in a video game with a fresh life.
他就是这麽做
That's exactly what he did!
他把行李放上车 将他的劳力士
He packed up the car, and left his Rolex
留在娃娃屋的阁楼裡
in the attic of my dollhouse,
然后就离开了
and he drove away.
我们坐一下吧？
Hey, let's sit for a second, okay?
好
Yeah, yeah.
我会赞助妳
Uh... So, I'll sponsor you.
但是…
Okay. - But, um,
妳得 开始认真投入
you gotta start taking this shit seriously.
妳不能嗑了药，还来参加聚会
You can't keep coming to meetings high.
什麽？
What?
妳怎麽知道？
How did you know?
因为我曾经是妳
Uh, because I was you.
而且我帮过好几十个像妳这样的女生
And I've helped dozens of women who were you.
有些人成功，有些人死了
And some beat it, and some are dead.
但是妳要知道
But, you know,
如果妳想花我的时间，就得认真投入
if you want my time, you gotta commit.
因为我有个蹒跚学步的孩子要照顾
Because I have a toddler so I just
没时间应付一堆狗屁
don't have time for bullshit. - Yeah.
不，我真的想成功
No, I do. I... I... I really wanna beat it.
那麽妳要在90天裡参加90场聚会
Then I want you to do 90 meetings in 90 days.
哇 -对
Wow. - Yeah.
我们会开始让妳进行第一步
And, um, we're gonna get you started on step one.
好
Okay.
好
Okay.
还有，别再躲着了
Also, enough hiding out, man.
妳该开始和大家分享故事了
It's time you shared with the group.
好
All right. - Uh...
嗨，我是艾莉森，我沉迷于…
Hi, I'm Allison, and I'm addicted to, uh,
药丸
pills.
嗨，艾莉森
Hi, Allison.
抱歉，可以再来一次吗？
Sorry. Can I start again?
我从来没做过这种事，很紧张
I've never done this before, and I'm nervous.
没问题
You got it.
嗨，我是艾莉森，我是…
成瘾者
Hi, I'm Allison, and I'm an addict.
嗨，艾莉森
Hi, Allison.
我…
I...Um...
我开车遇上
I was the driver of a car
严重的车祸
that was in a really bad accident.
死了两个人
Two people died.
那个女生…
The woman was...
原本即将成为我的小姑
The woman was about to be my sister-in-law.
我们当时正要去试我的婚纱
We were on our way to try on my wedding dresses.
结果去不成
And then we weren't.
那不是我的错
It wasn't my fault.
我那天没有嗑药或喝酒
I wasn't on drugs or booze, or drunk, or anything.
但是…
But, uh...
那天存活下来
Surviving that day was, is...
是我这一生
the most painful thing
得承担最痛苦的事
I will ever have to live through.
我也受了伤
I got hurt, too.
他们在我头上鑽了一个洞
They put a hole in my head.
然后…
And, um,
这很有帮助，因为至少我可以
that helped because at least I had something
把痛苦怪罪在这上面
I could blame the pain on.
但是后来伤好了
But then that healed...
我还是很痛
and I was still hurting.
我想那是因为我没有发现
And I guess that's why I didn't realize
那到底多麽严重
how bad it was because to me...
因为我依然好痛苦
I was still in so much pain.
医生开的药 原本是要给我缓和身体的疼痛
I was, um, prescribed them for physical pain,
那也真的有效
and they really helped with that. They really did.
但是那也让我整个人麻痺
But they made me numb. Blissfully numb.
没有了药，我就好想死
Without them I want to die.
每天都想
Every day.
我从来没说出这些事过
I've never said that out loud before.
我从来没有在吃完药之后 面对现实过
I've never really faced reality without them.
我不知道我能不能应付眼前的景象 但是我想要努力
And I don't know if I'll be able to handle what I see,but I'm here to try.
好，就这样
Okay. That's it.
就这样了
That's it.
现在呢？
What happens now?
这些都是你做的？
You made all of this?
这是我组装和设计的
Uh, I assembled it and designed it.
对
Yeah.
房♥屋都是成套的
You see, the houses come as a kit.
只要组装起来上色就好
You just assemble them and paint them...
校舍是我自己做的
Schoolhouse, I built from scratch.
后面这裡有两个孩子在亲热
Hey, there are two kids making out back here.
那是我
That's me.
你当时真英俊
You were handsome.
而且好小
And tiny.
对，我的初吻是在校舍后面
Yeah, my very first kiss behind the schoolhouse.
奥莉维雅威廉斯
Olivia Williams.
当时是秋天，她的鼻尖很冰
It was fall. Tip of her nose was cold.
还流着鼻水
Little runny.
她踮着脚，嘴巴有泡泡糖的味道
She stood on tiptoe. Tasted like bubble gum.
你后来跟她结婚了吗？ -没有
Is that who you married?
No! No, no.
她隔天就为了查理库克把我甩了
No, she dumped me the next day for Charlie Cook.
他抽骆驼牌香菸
Oh. - He smoked Camels.
开一辆别克硬顶敞篷车
And drove a Buick Riviera Roadmaster.
所以这些灵感都来自你的人生？
So, is this all inspired by your life?
算是吧
Kinda.
这是南奥兰治
Supposed to be South Orange.
我是在这裡长大的
I grew up here.
我在纽华克当警♥察♥
I was a cop in Newark.
我一直住在这裡
I've always lived here.
这个军人是谁？
Who's the soldier?
是我
That's me.
我从越南回来的那天
Day I got home from Vietnam.
另一个人偶是我父亲
That other little figure there is my father.
他来车站街我
He came down to the station to pick me up.
真是太了不起了
This is incredible. - Mm.
你花了多久时间？
How long did it take you?
好几年
Years.
一开始只是简单的8字型
I started with a single figure-eight
和一辆两节车厢的火车
and a two-car train.
我一有时间就在弄这个
I work on it when I can.
退休之后时间更多了
Got more time now that I've retired.
老婆也去世了
My wife passed.
芮恩以前常和我在底下这裡鬼溷
Ryan used to hang out with me down here.
她喜欢哨子和麦克风
She liked the whistle and the microphone.
还有麦克风？
There's a microphone?
就在那裡
Right over there.
不然要怎麽通知旅客火车进站？
How else you gonna tell your passengers
that the train's coming?
♪ Take the last train to Clarksville ♪
♪ And I'll meet you at the station ♪
♪ You can be there by 4:30 ♪
♪ 'Cause I booked your reservation ♪
♪ Don't be slow ♪
♪ Oh no no no ♪
♪ Oh no no no ♪
♪ And I don't know if I'm ever ♪
♪ Coming home ♪
这是献给各位
That was just a little serenade for your people
来自上天的小夜曲
from the heavens above.
这就是我如此喜欢的其中一个原因
Think that's one of the reasons I enjoy it so much.
为什麽？因为你能扮演上帝吗？