损人小蛋糕

Eveningladies. Gals' night out?
晚上好，女士们，姐妹们的聚会吗
Chasing guyseating piehaving fun.
泡泡男人，吃吃馅饼，找找乐子
This table is sticky! Run a damp rag across it!
这桌子黏死了，快拿块湿布擦擦
Would it kill you to clean a little?
你们弄干净点会死吗
What kinda place is this?
这是什么鬼地方啊
The kind that serves soup cold.
只上残羹冷炙的破地方
And what's with your crazy earrings?
你那夸张的耳环是干嘛
What are yousome kinda gypsy?
你以为你是吉普赛人啊
Okay. Whoa! Hold upladies.
够了，别说了，女士们
You don't get a bitch pass just 'cause you're old.
别以为快入土为安，耍泼就没人管了
Yesthat's right. I said it.
对，没错，我就要骂
You come in here with your gangster granny attitude,
你们带着流氓老太的态度来这里
think you can get away with
觉得把气撒在
dumping all over the lowly gypsy waitress.
下层吉普赛服务员身上也没人敢骂
No way.
做梦
At this dinerwe don't discriminate due to age.
本餐厅不搞尊老爱幼那一套
If you're gonna act like an ass,
你们如果继续这么讨打
I'm gonna treat you like an ass...
那老娘不介意也暴打你们一顿
No matter how close that ass is riding to the floor.
别以为你们屁♥股"垂垂"老矣，我就会多敬几分
NowI'll wipe off the table we'll take it from the top.
我先擦一下桌子，然后从头开始
HiI'm Max. Who wants tapioca?
你们好，我是麦克斯，谁想来点木薯
That's more like it.
这样才乖嘛
Save the disappointment for the grandkids.
把失望的心情留到见孙子时再用吧
EarlI need another book of checks.
厄尔，我得要个新的账单本
The last one fell between the refrigerator and the oven.
原来那本掉进烤箱和冰箱中间了
I'd reach for itbut that falls between
我有去捡的念头，可那念头也掉进了
"I don't do that" and "ohhell no."
"懒得捡"和"恶心不想捡"之间
Look overthereMax.
看啊，麦克斯
Men and women in suits.
西装革履的成功人士
This neighborhood is definitely on the rise.
咱这一区开始向上发展了
I remember a time when a black man couldn't get a cab around here.
想当年黑人在这附近还打不上车呢
And that time was Wednesday.
"当年"是指这周三
MaxI was just talking to the smart couples in booth two.
麦克斯，我刚跟二号卡座的聪明人聊天了
I know they're smart because they're the first people in here
我知道他们聪明，是因为他们是这家店
who ever ordered the croque monsieur as croque monsieur
所有点"咬先生"的人中第一批念对的人
and not "crock monster."
别人都读成"口♥交先生"
They wanna meet the woman who made the cupcakes.
他们求见做小蛋糕的师傅
I told them you'd be right over.
我告诉他们你很快就过去
Go! They're so nice. Nothey're not nice.
去吧，他们人很好的 不，他们才不是好人
They're trendyblood-sucking locusts
他们是披着时装的吸血蝗虫
who come into this neighborhood to pillage and destroy
来这里掠夺和摧毁这一带
everything I care about.
我所在乎的一切
I felt the same way when the Hilton sisters
我21岁生日派对，希尔顿姐妹不请自来
crashed my 21st birthday.
我也是这感觉
What?
干嘛
You made these cupcakes?
这小蛋糕是你做的吗
Yeahwhat's the problem?
是，有什么问题吗
Spit it outI've got a life.
有屁就快放，老娘忙着呢
We just wanted to tell you that your flavor palate is...
我们是想告诉你，你这口味
amazing.
一流啊
I don't know who you are or where you came from--
虽然我不知道你是谁，从哪来
Neither do I.
我也不知道
But these are fabulous.
但这蛋糕口味一级棒
Wellwelcome to the neighborhood.
欢迎来到本社区
I knew I liked you guys.
我就知道我会喜欢你们
So what did the trendy locusts want?
那些穿着时装的蝗虫想干嘛
You are so judgmentalyou know that?
你也太以貌取人了吧
They wanted to tell me the cupcakes are "fabulous."
人家想称赞我，蛋糕做得"一级棒"
Thank you.
现在信了吧
Maybe now you'll finally start to get it
被除了我之外的人夸
if someone besides me tells you how good they are.
可以相信你的小蛋糕是真好吃了吧
I believe the word was "fabulous."
不是好吃，人家是说"一级棒"
Pick upMax.
上菜，麦克斯
Olegfrom now onyou may call me
奥列格，以后请称我为
Countess Max of the fabulous cupcakes.
一级棒小蛋糕女爵麦克斯
And you may call me Sir Oleg of the amazing party in my pants.
也请称我，裆中欢乐无极限男爵奥列格
Carolinethe happyshiny people in suits
卡洛琳，那些西装革履的开心人士
asked me to give you this note.
让我把这纸条给你
Ohwhat a great idea!
这个主意真棒
They suggested we sell Max's cupcakes
他们建议我们把麦克斯的小蛋糕
at the cool new coffee place in their building.
拿去他们楼里新开的那家咖啡店卖
But you already sell cupcakes here in my diner.
但你们已经在我这家餐厅卖了呀
Hanwe're building a cupcake business
憨，我们要开一家
that will one day get us out of here.
某天能助我们飞出这里的蛋糕店
That's what we're trying to do with our lives.
我们的目标是要脱离苦海
But I thought we had something special.
我们之间这情谊难道是假的吗
Yesbut we're not exclusive.
可我们也没有订终身啊
The diner's cutebut I want more than this.
这儿是挺好的，可我要的不止如此
Oof.
哎哟
First girlfriend all over again.
初恋女友的台词又重现了
Max has the tables against the wall.
麦克斯负责的桌子在墙那边
Ohwe're good in your section.
我们在你这区呆着就好
CarolineI want you to meet my buddy Carlos.
卡洛琳，这是我的朋友卡洛斯
What's happenin'?
有啥子新鲜事嘛
Hi.
你好
WellI'm working the counter.
我负责的区在柜台那
What's happenin'? Come ondude.
有啥子新鲜事，你不是吧
You have a literature degree from NYU.
你可是纽约大学的文学院毕业的
I didn't mean to say thatbut when I get nervous,
这话下意识就说出来了，每次我一紧张
my Rico Suave comes out.
说话就自动变得流里流气
It won't happen again.
下次绝不再犯
And here's two menus.
给你们两张菜单
What's happenin'?
有啥子新鲜事嘛
DudeI'm nervous.
兄弟，我真的很紧张
HeyguysI'm in that section over there.
伙计们，我的区在那边呢
Ohwe're good in Caroline's area.
我们在卡洛琳这区呆着就行
Wellif you like hot coffee in your pants area,
你要是喜欢裤裆这区被撒热咖啡
you're in the right place.
坐这里就对了
ActuallyI like that.
老实说，我喜欢
Coming right at you.
马上为您送来
Johnny's in your section.
强尼在你那区坐着呢
Yeahwhy?
是啊，为什么呀
He comes in here every night to see you.
他每晚来这儿明明就是为了见你
He's your friends or...crush or whatever he is.
他是你的朋友，或是情迷对象什么的
Shh! He's not a crush. He's a...
闭嘴，他才不让我情迷意乱呢，他只是...
I don't know what he isbut whatever he is,
我不知道他算什么，现在重点是
he's in your section.
他去坐了你那区
Max! Ooh! What are you doing?
麦克斯，你这是干嘛
You're not supposed to be in here.
你不能进来的
I knowI'm a bad boy.
我知道，我是个小坏蛋
Lookthe reason I'm not sitting in your section
听着，我之所以不坐在你那区
is because my buddy Carlos is crushing pretty hard on Caroline
是因为我朋友卡洛斯对卡洛琳超级动心
and he asked me to do what I can to hook them up.
他求我尽力去帮他牵线
Oh. So now you're a bartender,
哦，原来你的职业不光是酒保
a street artistand a pimp.
还是街头艺术家和皮条客
Ain't nuttin' wrong with me pimpin' some boy on the side.
兼♥职帮小弟弟拉拉皮条有啥不对
Keeps me in spray paint and whatnot.
不然哪有钱搞艺术什么的
So?
所以呢
From pimp to pimp...
马夫，老鸨之间不说暗话
Help me out with your girl.
帮我把你的妹子搞到手吧
My girl don't come cheap.
我的妹子可不是这么好"搞"的
Is it hot in here?
这里是不是有点热呀
Yesand we're in a freezer.
是啊，我们还是在冷藏室呢
Yes. My freezer.
没错，在我的冷藏室
I wasuhjust talking to Max.
我就进来跟麦克斯聊两句
UmI'll see you out there.
外面见
So is this what you like in the man? What?
你就喜欢这货吗？什么
No. He's just a customer that went rogue.
不，他只是个耍流氓的顾客而已
He is weak and girlish.
他又弱又娘
A woman like you needs a real man.
真正的汉子才配得上风华绝代的你
You know what they say.
常言道
Once you go Ukraineyou will scream with sex pain.
一旦去了乌克兰，做♥爱疼痛不叫难
That probably lost some of its sensual appeal in the translation,
原来充满情欲的句子，经你翻译失色不少
but thanks for the offerOleg.
但还是感谢你的邀请，奥列格
人还行，但是我没兴趣
Besideshe's not my type.
再说了，他不是我的菜
Just say it.
你就直说吧
You're not interested in him because he's Puerto Rican.
你对他不感兴趣是因为他是波多黎各人
Where did you get this idea that I would only date white guys?
你怎么会觉得我只跟白人约会呢
For your informationI've dated all kinds of men.
告诉你，我可是各种男人都尝过哟
I once had a Spaniard in Monte Carlo.
我曾经在蒙特卡洛还有个西班牙人男友呢
Isn't the title of an Abba song?
怎么听起来像阿巴乐队的歌名啊
Are you sure about this? He's cute.
你确定吗，他挺可爱的
And trust meyou could use a little salsa on your white rice.
相信我，你这碗白女饭可以"上"点莎莎男酱
MaxI just lost every dollar I had.
麦克斯，我才破产不久
The last thing on my mind right now is guys--
我现在脑子里最没空想的就是男人
any type of guy.
什么男人都不想
Except this guy.
除了他
HiChestnut.
你好，栗宝
I'm much more concerned with our business
我更关心我们的生意
and getting my head back above water.
想着怎么尽快脱离苦海
Men will come sooner or later.
男人迟早会来的
Wellaccording to my research most men come sooner.
根据我的"调查" 男人只会早"来" 不会晚泄
OhI thought we should stop by that new coffee place tomorrow
我觉得明天应该去那家新开的咖啡店
and introduce ourselves and your cupcakes.
推销你的小蛋糕，做下自我介绍
I'm not gonna walk in there. I feel like I'm selling out.
我才不去呢，感觉像是出卖自己
Okaylet's reframe the phrase selling out
让我们把"出卖"这个词
and make it sold outas in
改为"卖光" 比如说
"Maxwe sold out of the cupcakes"
"麦克斯，我们的小蛋糕都卖光啦"
and are now successful."
"我们功成名就了"
What's that you say?
你刚说什么
I can now afford to buy the wax dental floss again?
是说"我又买得起高档含蜡牙线"了吗
Fine.
好吧
But I'm only doing it so you'll eventually
我会同意只是为了让你
get your mind off the business and get laid.
别老惦记着生意，有空去"滋润"自己
Why do you think I need to get laid so badly?
你为啥认为我迫切需要被滋润
If I'd just gone through all the tension and trauma that just happened to you,
如果你承受的压力和创伤发生在我身上
I'd be climbing telephone poles to take the edge off.
为了寻求安慰，电线杆都会被我磨成针
Trust mesex is the last thing on my mind right now.
滚床单这档事，我现在压根就不会想
Ohand speaking of reframing things,
说到这方面
I have a surprise.
我有个惊喜要宣布
I redecorated my room.
我重新装饰了我的房间
I scoped out some cheap fabric in bedding places
我在休斯顿街的床品店
down on Houston Street.
买了点物美价廉的布料
What do you think?
你觉得如何呀
I think you've made a vagina.
我觉得你把床布置成了阴♥道
What?
什么
Sisteryou may think that sex is the last thing on your mind,
姐妹，你虽然嘴上说着不想滚床单
but you turned your bed into a vagina.
但你老实的身子把床布置成了阴♥道
Do you think my vagina has curtains?
我阴♥道哪来的帘子啊
I don't know how long it's been.
太久没人掀，谁都说不准
I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
我累了，我要睡觉了
Okaybut I still have to make the cupcakes
好吧，但是我得做明天to bring by that place tomorrow.
带去那里的蛋糕
I don't wanna keep you awake
我不想吵醒你
so why don't you sleep in my bed tonight
所以今晚你不如去睡我的床
and I'll pass out on your vagina?
我就在你阴♥道上昏睡一晚算了
Okaybut you better buy me breakfast in the morning.
好吧 "睡"完明早可要请我吃早餐哦
我喜欢这个地方，感觉像是二十年代的巴黎
More like poseurs in their 20s.
更像二十几岁的伪小资吧
Manthey've really cleaned this place up.
天啊，他们把这地方改头换面了啊
You've been here before?
你以前来过这儿吗
Yeahit used to be a liquor store
是啊，这里之前是卖酒的
owned by this old Irish guy
是一个鸡鸡上长有雀斑的
who had freckles on his penis.
爱尔兰老头开的
Sometimes he'd corner you and flash it,
有时候他会把你逼到角落，然后快速露鸟
but then he'd always comp you a free lotto ticket.
但事后都会送你一张免♥费的乐透彩票
Okaywelllet's try and keep that sort of charming nostalgia
好的，等会推销的时候就别提
out of our sales pitch.
这种"美好"的往事了吧
Oh that's the owner.
店主在那里
I scoped it out before you got here.
带你来之前，我已经摸清底细了
And remember I'll do the talking.
记住，话由我来说
Why don't I get to talk?
为什么我不能说
Freckled penis.
长雀斑的鸡鸡
And besides I have more experience.
再说了，我比较有经验
All those who pitched business models to Warren Buffett as a member of
曾以菲利普斯·埃克塞特创业家俱乐部会员身份
the Phillips Exeter Entrepreneurs Club raise their hands.
向股神巴菲特推销过盈利模式的人，请举手
Holla!
完胜
Wellif you care enough to raise your arms about it,
如果你想做到还举手抢着做
fine. You talk. I won't say anything.
好吧，你来说，我不会说一个字
Hiwhat can I get for you?
你好，需要点什么吗
HiI'm Caroline and this is my business partner Max.
你好，我是卡洛琳，这位是我的合作伙伴麦克斯
And you are? Semhar.
请问您怎么称呼 西蒙娜
Ohjeez. Such a pretty name.
天啊 好名字
It means "light of the tiger" in Sanskrit.
在梵文里是"老虎之光"的意思
Ohjeez.
天啊
It's my yoga name.
是我练瑜珈的名字
Help meGod.
神啊，救救我吧
WellSemharwe just opened a local neighborhood cupcake company.
西蒙娜，我们刚在本区开了家小蛋糕店
Our card.
这是我们的名片
We're introducing our exciting product
我们来把自家的拳头产品to local boulangeries.
介绍给本地的面包店
Please try a sample. Max.
请试一个我们的样品吧，麦克斯
Would you like coconut-coffeechocolate-curry,
你是想来个椰子咖啡味的，巧克力咖喱味
or blueberry-lemon zest?
还是蓝莓柠檬味
My absolute fave is the coconut-coffee.
我最喜欢的是椰子咖啡味
Let's start with thatshall we?
咱们先从这个试起，好吗
Thank youbut no thank you.
谢谢，但是不用了，谢谢
Wellcan I ask you why?
能问下原因吗
They're not pretty enough.
它们不够漂亮
Excuse me?
你说什么
They're not pretty enough.
它们不够漂亮
Perhaps if you tried one,
或许你试吃之后
you'd see how amazing our flavor palate is.
会发现这口味有多棒
Hold offFlavour Flav.
打住，弗雷"味"
What do you meanthey're not pretty enough?
你说它们不够漂亮是什么意思
They have a charming homemade look,
这小蛋糕有个自制小作坊的可爱外形
but my customer would prefer a more upscaleprettier product.
但是我的顾客喜欢更高档更漂亮的产品
Just FYIsome upscale residents
告诉你一下，你这家高档的店
in this very upscale building
所在的这栋高档的大楼
where your upscale store actually is located
里面的高档住户
recently told us they were fabulous.
前不久才夸我们的蛋糕一级棒呢
I understand.
我懂
But they're not pretty enough.
但它们不够漂亮
ListenBattlefield Earth.
给我听着，外星人
This is WilliamsburgBrooklyn,
这里可是布鲁克林的威廉斯堡
and no amount of exposed brick and paint can change the fact that,
再多仿古砖，再怎么粉刷，也改变不了
right where you're standing,
这个地方的本质
I've seen tommy O'Hanlon's wing-wang
我在这里看见过无数次
more times than I care to remember.
前爱尔兰老板的鸡鸡
And I must sayit was way less offensive than your attitude.
可你的态度还比他的鸡鸡更让人火大
And you can shove that up your upscale.
你这死人态度就留给你的死人屁♥眼看吧
Let's go.
走吧
Namaste.Namaste.
小生有礼。小生有礼
No cupcakes tonight?
今晚没做蛋糕吗
Nothey're bugging me. I decided to take the night off.
没，蛋糕让我心烦，所以我决定歇一晚
Be careful with decisions like that.
做这种决定时要小心
In 1987I took a night off from EarthWindand Fire
当年我也决定歇一晚，缺席地球风与火乐队
and the next daythey earthwindand fired my ass.
隔天，乐队就风风火火的把我踢出去了
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
大家好啊，抱歉我来晚了
Mid-afternoon nap in your vagina?
在你阴♥道里午后小睡了一把吗
I wish! No.
我也希望，可惜不是
I went to a cheap bakery supply store in Greenpoint
我去绿点区一家便宜面包店用品店
and got us some supplies.
给咱们买了点装备
Here.
给
It's the basic cake decorating kit.
这是基本的蛋糕装饰装备
And best of all I found us a funreasonable
最棒的是，我在一家蛋糕店给咱俩报了
two-session cupcake decorating class at a bakery.
一个好玩又价格合理的两课时蛋糕装饰课
We can learn how to make pretty roses.
我们能学到如何做出漂亮的玫瑰花哦
No way.
做梦
The cupcakes don't need to be pretty.
我的蛋糕不需要变漂亮
They compensate by having a great sense of humor.
它们主攻幽默路线
Pretty cupcakes is just another option for our business.
漂亮的蛋糕只是我们事业的另一个路线
People want prettywe do pretty.
人们喜欢漂亮，我们就做得漂亮
Or people want homemadewe do--
或者人们喜欢自制，我们就...
Waitwhere is our homemade?
等等，我们的自制蛋糕呢
I didn't make any tonight.
今晚我没做
You didn't make any?
怎么不做啊
Whatyou get one piece of constructive criticism
干嘛，就因为人家一次建设性的批评
and you stop making them?
就不再做蛋糕了吗
Maxit's business.
麦克斯，咱们是做生意
And maybe Semhar has a point about making them pretty.
而且西蒙娜说得也不无道理呀
First of allwhat does she know about pretty?
她懂什么叫做漂亮吗
The woman has dreadlocks.
一个雷鬼发型的女人懂个毛
Her head looks like the stuff
她那颗头简直就像
you empty out of a vacuum cleaner bag.
吸尘器脏物袋里的垃圾似的
Not pretty.
漂亮个毛呀
Forget her.
先别说她
What's happening with you?
你这态度是干嘛
What's your problem with pretty?
你对"漂亮"有什么意见吗
Don't wave your divas live hand at me.
少用那天后卖弄唱腔手势在我面前晃
I just think society's way too concerned
我觉得现今社会太霸道
with other people's idea of what's pretty.
老要和谐别人心中认为的美
You don't think you can do it.
你觉得自己做不到
That's what this is about.
所以你才顾左右而言他
This isn't about society.
跟社会一点关系都没有
You're afraid you can't do pretty.
你怕自己做不出漂亮的东西
LookI don't do pretty
我是不屑做
the way you don't do Puerto Ricans.
就跟你不屑于搞波多黎各仔一样
What are you talking about?
你瞎说什么呀
I'll do Puerto Ricans.
我愿意搞波多黎各仔啊
All right.
好吧
Then go do one and leave me alone.
愿搞搞去，别烦我
Maxit's a skill. That's all.
麦克斯，这只是门手艺，仅此而已
It's not shameful to not know how to do something.
不会做某事又算不了什么
Didn't you have piano lessons growing up?
小时候学钢琴不都这样吗
Seriously?
你搞笑啊
Ice skating?
学溜冰刀呢
Closest I've come to blades on ice
我人生中离刀片与冰最近的一次是
was when a pregnant girl pulled a knife on me
去场冰球赛，被一个大肚妞
at a hockey game.
拿刀在我面前比划
Lookyou and I have a business,
听着，我们要打开门做生意的
and this is a skill we need.
我们需要这门手艺
We're going to that class
我们一起去上课
and we are gonna master how to make pretty roses.
然后学会怎么做出漂亮的玫瑰花
And I know how much you hate anything trendy,
我知道你很讨厌新潮的东西
so I found us a family-owned Italian bakery in Brooklyn.
特地在附近找了间家族经营的意大利面包店
Italian's good.
意大利人好啊
Maybe they'll know how to dump the body
等我把你杀了之后，他们应该懂
after I kill you.
怎么毁尸灭迹
First of allwelcome to Spice and Sugar.
首先，欢迎来到"辣妹甜心"
We did a little twist on the traditional sugar and spice
我们改动了大家常说的"又甜又辣"
putting spice first because...
把辣放在前面是因为...
We're Italian.
我们是意大利人
And we always got the spice up front
我们的热辣丰胸在前
and a little in the rear.
甜美小翘臀在后
Holla!
完胜
Now are you embarrassed you ever said holla?
觉得自己说过"完胜"这个词很丢人了吧
My name is Stephanieand this is my cousin Serena,
我叫斯蒂芬妮，这位是我的表姐赛琳娜
and this bakery has been in our family for years
这家蛋糕店是我们家族传承下来的
and then we took it over and made it...
经我们接手后，把生意做得
Hot.
很火爆
All rightlet's go around and introduce ourselves
好了，大家先来自我介绍吧
and tell us why you came tonight.
说说你们来这儿上课的原因
Let's start with the cute guys.
先从帅哥开始
Always!
必须的
I'm Steve,
我叫斯蒂夫
I thought this would be a fun idea for my bachelor party.
我觉得单身派对有自制小蛋糕应该不错
I'm getting married to Michael...right there.
我要和迈克结婚了，就是我身旁这位
So cute. God bless!
真有爱，上帝佑佑
And I'm Michael.
我是迈克
I'm Michael as well. Michael.
我也叫迈克耶 我也是
Oh...So many Michaels.
好多迈克哦
And you are?
那你叫...
Michael.
迈克
NoI'm Max.
没啦，我叫麦克斯
Ohshe's funny. So cuteGod bless!
她真幽默，太可爱了，上帝佑佑
And I'm Caroline. I'm Max's partner.
我叫卡洛琳，和麦克斯是搭档
Ohso many gays tonight. I know.
今晚好多同性恋哦 就是
NoI'm her business partner.
不，是生意上的搭档
We actually have our own cupcake business over in Williamsburg,
其实我们在威廉斯堡有自己的小蛋糕店
and I must saywe're doing very well.
我必须说，我们的生意还不错
Max is the baker and I'm the business head
麦克斯是糕点师，我是生意负责人
and we're here tonight to increase our skill level
今晚来这儿是为了提高我们的手艺
and take our business up to a level that's...
好让我们的生意更上一层楼
Hot as well.
好跟你们一样火爆哟
If you're gonna talk that much,
要是你再废话连篇的话
no one will have time to learn anything.
其他人就没时间学♥习了
I knowright?
有道理呀，对吧
Souhwhere's your shop?
你们的店开在哪里呢
Wellright nowwe're just working out of our apartment.
目前只是在自己公寓里做
So no shop. Ohthat's sweet.
所以还没店面 也不错嘛
Cute. Yeahgood luckGod bless.
还行嘛 是呀，祝你们好运，上帝佑佑
Can you say jealous?
是嫉妒还是咋地
All rightlet's start simple with a pretty little icing flower.
好吧，咱们先从简单的糖霜裱花开始
Everybody pick up your piping bags,
大家拿起挤花袋
and with a straight-edge tip--
有"直"边锥形尖头那个
But you guys can use your gay-edge tip.
你们用"弯"边锥形尖头也行
All righteverybody watch Stephanie.
好了，大家注意看斯蒂芬妮
You're gonna take the nail head
你们得用尖头
and you're gonna make a little "U"
做一个小小的"U"出来
so that you get little petals.
这样花瓣就做出来了
And we'll do this five times.
如此重复五次
And thenyou have a pretty little five-petal flower.
就能做出一朵五瓣的花了
Simple. So cute. How fun!
多简单 多有爱，真好玩
Nono. You gotta start by making a "U".
不，不，你得先从"U"做起
I did. That's a "U".
我做了，这是一个"U"
Serenais that a "U"?
赛琳娜，这是"U"吗
Not a "U".
不是
FineI'll start over.
好吧，我重做一个
That was a "U".
那就是"U"
And whatjust because I don't have a quote-unquote shop
就因为我没有一家正儿八经的店面
I don't know a "U"?
我就不知道"U"长什么样吗
What's with the attitude?
她们这是什么态度呀
All rightlet's leave.
好吧，那我们走吧
Next time the gays gigglewe'll just slide out.
等那群基佬再娘笑，我们立刻脚底抹油
Nowe're here to learn.
不行，我们是来学♥习的
That looks good.
做得挺不错啊
I suck. I'm starting over.
烂死了，我要重做
Maxwhy'd you do that? It was good.
麦克斯，你干嘛啊，真的不错呀
Not good enough.
不够好
You two not done yet?
你们俩做完没有
You have to master the little flower,
你们必须先练熟做小花
or when we move on to roses you'll be screwed.
不然之后教做玫瑰时，你们就死定了
Rightcuz? Ohtotally screwed.
对吧，表姐，当然是死定了
Screwed and not in the good way.
而且还会死得惨兮兮呢
Do you think we can convince them
你说我们有没办法
that slapping each other's face is the new high five?
拐她们相信最新的击掌方式是互扇耳光呢
Steveohmy God. That rose is gorgeous.
斯蒂夫，天啊，这朵玫瑰太棒了
Good for you.
有前途啊
All rightone more minute and we'll display our roses.
好了，一分钟后大家展示自己的玫瑰花
Steve. Little help.
斯蒂夫，帮个忙
I choke at timed tests.
考试一限时我就紧张
I got like a 40 on my SATs.
当年高考就因此只得了40分
Damn itSteve!
靠，斯蒂夫
Look at this place.
瞧瞧这家店
There's no way these girls
在现在这个世道
could have this much cupcake success in this economy.
这俩妞的生意绝不可能这么成功
I meanthe overhead on this building alone--
我是说，光是店面的各项管理费用就得...
What are you saying?
什么意思
Not saying mob money,
我不敢说是黑帮的资金
just saying maybe we'd have a shop too
但要是我们有黑帮的资金
if we had mob money.Shh.
我们的店也早开成了。闭嘴
Keep it down.
小声点
You wanna wake up tomorrow with Chestnut's head
你想明早看到栗宝被杀"马"儆猴
in your vagina bed?
头丢你床上示众吗
Okaytime's up. Let's see what you got.
好了，时间到，看看你们的成果
What is that? There's like nothing there.
这是什么，根本就什么都没有嘛
That's not a rose.
这哪里是玫瑰花
It's minimalist.Whatev.
这是极简抽象派。随便吧
Nonot "whatev". It's brilliant.
不，这不是"随便之作" 这是天才之作
And I would know becausewhen I was in tokyo,
我懂这个是因为我在东京时
I had a private Japanese flower arranging class
师承著名花道研究所的负责人
with the head of the Ikebana institute.
上过他一对一的课程
And he said I had a gift.
他说过我天赋异禀
In his words,
他说...
Whatev. Okaywhat about your friend there?
随便吧，那你的朋友做得怎么样
I kinda ran out of time.
我时间不够
You had 20 minutes.
二十分钟还不够啊
I thought she said you were the baker.
她不是说你是糕点师吗
Noyou need to be able to whip these out in like 20 seconds
不行，你们的小蛋糕店想取得成功
if you wanna be successful in your little bakery.
这玩意儿你们二十秒内就得搞定啊
"UmI'd like a cupcake." "That'll be 12 hours."
"我想点个小蛋糕" "十二小时后来取"
Right? Right.
对吧。对
And they have to be prettier than that.
而且想上台面，还得做得更漂亮点
Wellmaybe you'll do better tomorrow.
希望你们明天能进步点吧
Remember. Your homework assignment
记住，你们的家庭作业是
is to bring in a cupcake with a pretty rose on it.
做一个上面有朵漂亮玫瑰花的小蛋糕来
Right. Like we're gonna come back here
对啊，好像我们明天还会乖乖过来
and spend time with these Robert de Nir-hoes.
跟这俩意大利婊♥子浪费时间
Ugh! That one stinks too. Damn it!
这个也好难看，我靠
Maxforget it.
麦克斯，算了吧
It's 3:00 A.M. Go to bed.
都凌晨三点了，去睡觉吧
Don't. Don't say anything to me.
闭嘴，不准跟我说话
I am so mad at you right now.
我现在超级不爽你
What did I do? Everything.
我哪里惹到你了？就是惹到了
I used to love making cupcakes.
我以前可喜欢做蛋糕了
It was the one thing I could zone out
那是唯一可以让我放空
and do without thinking.
不用想任何事情
And now all I'm doing is thinking.
现在我脑子却一直在想
Thinking that I stink at making cupcakes.
想我做蛋糕的技术有多烂
Wellstop it.
别这样
Who cares what they think? They're bitchy baking bullies.
管她们怎么说呢，她俩就是糕点流氓
We don't have to go back there.
我们大不了不回去上课了
Ohand then what?
然后呢
I'm gonna think my cupcakes weren't good enough
让我抱着我做蛋糕技术很差的想法
for the rest of my life?
度过余生吗
You said we need the skillthen we need the skill.
你说我们得学手艺，我们就得学成才走
I'm a lot of thingsbut I'm not a quitter.
我虽然不是什么好人，但绝对不是缩头乌龟
I'm gonna make a stupidpretty cupcake if it kills me.
不做出个该死的漂亮小蛋糕，我不死不休
Or you.
你死也不休
And you are going back there with me.
而且你不准临阵脱逃
And we're gonna shove our pretty cupcake
我们得做出漂亮的小蛋糕
right up Snooki and her cousin's asses.
给山寨斯努奇和她表姐的狗眼瞧瞧
Nowshut updon't talk to me,
你就把嘴闭上，别跟我说话
and go back in your vagina.
滚回你的阴♥道床睡觉去
Sorry you had to see thatChestnut.
抱歉让你目睹了这一幕，栗宝
Ohnot very pretty.
不是很漂亮
But at least you triedMichael.
但至少你努力过了，迈克
Just one question.
我只有个问题
Are you sure that you're gay?
手这么不巧，你真的是同性恋吗
OhokayCaroline. Let's see your pretty rose.
好了，卡洛琳，来看看你漂亮的玫瑰花
I didn't do one. Society is way too concerned
我没做，因为现今社会太霸道
with other people's idea of what's pretty.
老要和谐别人心中认为的美
Whatevs.
随便吧
Okaywhat about your baker there?
那好，你的糕点师呢
She bail too?
她也没做吗
Nohere it is.
不，我做了
Maxthat's so pretty.
麦克斯，这真漂亮
I'm so proud of you.
我真为你骄傲
Good workGod bless. Good for you.
做得不错，上帝佑佑，有前途
How long did it take you?
你做了多久
About three hours and 40 minutes.
三个小时四十分吧
But I did it!
但我做到了
I just wanted to prove to you and myself
我只是想向你们和我自己证明
I can make something pretty.
我也能做出漂亮的东西
And now that I have--
既然我已经成功做到了
That cupcake wasn't me. I don't do pretty.
这小蛋糕不是我风格，老娘不屑玩漂亮
But I did make each of you a cupcake that I think says
但为了表达我对这个蛋糕课程的感想
what I feel about this whole cupcake class.
我为你俩一人做了一个蛋糕
This one says "Bite me".
这个写着"关你屁事"
This one says "Screw U".
这个写着"滚你妈蛋"
You see that "U"? That's a "U".
你看见那个"U"了吗，这就是个"U"
Holla!
完胜
Wellgood luck with that.
那祝你们好运啦
People don't want cupcakes that insult them.
没人会买损人的蛋糕
Ohmy GodMax. That's our thing.
天啊，麦克斯，这才是我们的长项
I was wrong. You were right.
我错了，你才是对的
We don't need to make pretty cupcakes.
我们不必做漂亮的蛋糕
Everybody does pretty.
人人都会做漂亮的蛋糕
We have to do what you do best.
我们只需发挥你的专长
Insult people.
损人
Yeahwho's gonna buy that?
是啊，谁会去买呀
We will. For our shower.
我们买，给告别单身派对增色
And really let us bitches have it!
专门为我们的贱♥人朋友准备!