宴会上的牛刀小试

Sophie, this is so generous of you to offer to buy us dresses for the gala,
苏菲，感谢你慷慨解囊，愿意帮我们买晚宴穿的裙子。
but as much as my shoes love being back in their place of birth...
不过尽管我的鞋子很开心能回到"出生地"
Oh, your shoes were born here?
哇，你的鞋子是在这"出生"的呀
Mine were born in China, but I adopted them at Payless.
我的鞋在中国出生，然后被我从网上鞋店"领养"回家
Maybe we should find something cheaper, at one of those consignment stores.
或许我们应该去寄卖店淘两件便宜货
"Consignment stores"? Come on, what are we, gypsies?
"寄卖店"？拜托，你当我们是游牧民族啊
This is big fancy ball. We need ball gowns.
要去华丽的盛会，就得盛装打扮啊
Never really been a fan of balls.
我从来不喜欢参加舞会。
In fact, always thought they got in the way, but here we are.
老实说，我总觉得它们挺碍事，可我们始终是来了。
Well, we do have to look amazing if we're approaching Martha Stewart with a cupcake,
如果我们要带着小蛋糕接近玛莎·斯图尔特，就必须得打扮得美美的
so we'll find a way to pay you back and start by doing some cleaning jobs for you for free.
钱我们会想办法还你的，不然先从免♥费帮你打扫房子开始好了。
No! Every year I give money to charity,
不用！我每年都捐钱给慈善机构
and I like you two girls way more than the babies with the broken smiles.
而且相比那些孩子阴暗的假笑，我更喜欢你们俩姑娘
So don't worry. I got plenty of cash.
所以别担心，姐可是带足了钱
Aww, a roll of hundreds. Reminds me of my Christmas stocking stuffers.
哇，一捆百元大钞。我以前圣诞袜也用这个填充
Yeah, this is fun day. I'm like Richard Gere and you're my two hookers.
今天真好玩。我就像理查·基尔，而你们俩是我的风月佳人。
Well, when you put it like that, I'm a little more comfortable.
听你这么一说，我心里舒服多了。
Good afternoon. How can I help you?
下午好，有什么需要帮忙的吗
Hi, how are you? We don't have a lot of time. We have to be at work by 6:00.
你好，我们赶时间。下午6点就得上班。
Can you show us your best formal spring couture?
麻烦把店里最好的春款晚礼服拿出来
Perhaps you ladies might be more comfortable down in ready-to-wear.
或许你们去普通成衣店比较合适吧
As I said, we're in a bit of a rush.
都说了我们赶时间
We might move a little quicker if you dropped the attitude and picked up some dresses. Show her your wad.
如果你能摆低姿态，快点把衣服拿出来，我们就能快点甩钱走人。把你那捆大钞露出来
Let's look at some dresses.
很高兴为你们服务
Yeah, and get us some champagne, like in the movies.
对了，要像电影那样，给我们上点香槟哦。
One, two...
一，二
Han, did you just go up on your tiptoes like a big boy?
阿憨，你踮脚是为了显得个子高点吗
Well, I wasn't expecting a photo opportunity.
我不知道今天会需要拍照
And I left my Tom Cruise man-heels at home.
所以我没穿汤姆·克鲁斯也爱穿的增高鞋来
Max, give him a break. This is a man who was too short to be a jockey.
麦克斯，别说他了。这男人矮的都当不上马师
Oleg, give me your camera. I must approve picture.
奥列格，给我相机。我得审核照片。
We've taken it three times already.
我们都拍了三次了
Han, if you want a nip slip, just ask.
阿憨，如果你想要奶♥子走光照，就直说
My dress is too pretty for this conversation,
我的衣服这么漂亮，不适合参与这种话题
so I'm gonna go get the cupcake from the refrigerator.
所以我还是去冰箱把蛋糕拿出来吧
And I'm going to warm up my new town car for the ladies.
那我先为姑娘们热一下我的加长新轿车
New? What is this, 2002?
新车？如果现在是2002年，那就是新车
I hope so, then I will have chance to meet you for first time all over again.
我倒希望，这样我就有机会重新与你相遇。
Now this is not professional driver talk.
这可不是专职司机该讲的话
Hey, fancy ball Buster, what's your deal?
舞会仙女婆婆，你这是闹哪样
You told him to get a dream and a drive, and he did.
是你告诉他要有梦想与冲劲，现在他做到了。
Max, I have two sore spots. Trusting men and...
麦克斯，我有两个痛处。一个是相信男人
And here, where that crazy Jamaican wove my extensions too tight.
另一个是这里，那个牙买加疯子把我的头发接得太紧了
I'm thinking I should wait to put the cupcake in the cupcake purse till we get out of the car.
我在想等下车之后，我再把小蛋糕放进小蛋糕包里
We want our beer batter maple bacon cupcake to represent our cupcake business.
我要用混酒面粉加枫蜜培根小蛋糕，作为我们小蛋糕业务的招牌。
We have a new record. She cupcake four times in one speech.
她又刷新记录了。一口气居然说了四次小蛋糕。
We should go. Upper East Side from Brooklyn at this time of day is crazy.
我们该走了。这个点从布鲁克林去上东区该堵死了。
But we came in here to show Earl.
可我们来这是为了让厄尔看看
Maybe Earl decided not to come since he had the night off.
可能厄尔觉得今晚休息就不过来了吧
Max, we really should be there at the start. That's prime Martha Stewart stalking time.
麦克斯，我们必须在一开始就到场。那是偷偷接近玛莎·斯图尔特的最佳时机。
You're right. And Martha will probably have to leave early to get up to bake;
你说得对，玛莎"很可能"会需要提早离场，回家干活
a little something I knows about. The only difference between Martha and I
这方面我也经验丰富。我和玛莎唯一的区别是
is she probably doesn't have to worry about waking up her roommate who lives four feet from the oven.
她无需担心会吵醒睡在烤箱四英尺之外的室友
But otherwise, twinsies!
除此之外，毫无差别啊！
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
等等，等等
Earl, slow down, your heart.
厄尔，慢点，你有心脏病
Sorry I'm late, ladies. But if I run any faster, the cops tend to pull guns on me.
抱歉来晚了，女士们。我再跑快一点，警察会以为我是在逃嫌犯呢
Got held up at the florist shop, but I made it. Here you go, ladies.
在花店耽搁了一会儿，还好及时赶到，给，女士们。
Aww, Earl, you got us flowers?
厄尔，你还专门给我们买花啊
Wrist corsages. I hope they're still in style.
腕花。希望现在还流行这个
They're a classic, Earl. Like you.
经♥典永垂不朽，厄尔。跟你一样。
Mmm, that was worth the run.
这趟跑得真值
Let's go, ladies. Oleg is waiting to drive you. And you drive me crazy.
走吧，女士们。奥列格等着载你们驶向目的地。而你，载我驶向墓地
Yeah, yeah. Tell it to the marines.
是呀是呀，这话跟海军陆战队说去
Here, Earl, take my phone. I can't fit it in the purse with my cupcake.
给，厄尔，帮我拿着手机。装了蛋糕，我的手包就装不下手机了
Have the best time in the world. And say hello to "Huge" Jackman for me.
祝你玩得愉快。代我向"巨根"杰克曼问好。
That is not a good sign.
这可不是好兆头
That car is smoking harder than Bob Marley on a rasta holiday.
这车喷出来的烟比鲍勃·马利在斯塔法教日喷得还狠。
Sophie, if my cousin Yuri said he would be here in half hour with parts to fix, he will be here in half hour.
苏菲，如果我的表弟有利说他会在半小时内带着工具来修车，他就一定会在半小时内到。
Actually, it's been 40 minutes.
话说这都过了40分钟了吧
Your cousin is like you. He takes too long to come.
你的表弟就跟你一样。死活不来。
Oh, this is news. Suddenly a woman wants a man to finish fast.
真新鲜。女人突然开始喜欢男人早早完事了
Oh, please. Sex is not a carnival cruise.
拜托。做♥爱又不是邮轮可以慢慢开
I'm a busy woman. You get on, you get off.
我很忙的。前脚上船，后脚下船。
Can I get a hit off that?
我能来一口吗
We'll just have to wait, I guess.
我猜就只能干等了
I mean, if I still lived in Manhattan, I'd hail a cab.
如果我还住在曼哈顿，我可以打个车
But that's not gonna happen out here in the boondocks!
但我们是在荒郊野岭，所以求助无门
Plus, even if we could afford a cab, we'd be stuck forever in rush hour gridlock.
再说了，即使打得起车，我们也会被困在高峰时期无尽的堵车中。
Could you take it down a notch?
你能小点声吗
Hipsters are starting to look at us like we're trying too hard.
嬉皮士们都看过来了，好像我们入戏太深似的。
Where did Han go? He said he might have a plan.
阿憨去哪里了？他说他可能有办法
Oh, my lord and Taylor!
万能的主呀
That little mother can ride.
那小玩意儿居然会骑马。
You two look like two princesses in a fairy tale.
你们俩就像童话里的两位公主
Are you feeling safe?
你怕不怕
I couldn't feel any safer if we were riding a rubber into town.
如果我们骑的是塑胶小马，我就不怕
Here we go. Bye, guys. Bye. Go, Chestnut!
那我们走啦，再见，各位。再见，走吧，栗宝。
Oh, check it out. You see what I see?
快看，你也看见了吧
Hello, officers. We're on way to the ball down the street,
你好，警官大人。我们在去舞会的路上
and we were wondering if we could please leave our horse with your horses?
我们想问能不能请你们帮我看一下马
And I can save you the time on the breathalyzer test;
你们也不必浪费时间做酒精浓度测试
No, we are not drunk or on some bachelorette party scavenger hunt.
我们没喝醉，也没在玩未婚女子派对的寻宝游戏。
Our car broke down in Brooklyn, so we rode over the Brooklyn bridge and up.
我们的车在布鲁克林坏了，我们是从布鲁克林大桥骑过来的。
You rode a horse across the Brooklyn bridge? That's badass.
你骑着马在布鲁克林大桥上跑啊。真是酷毙了
Yes... And illegal.
没错，同时也违法了
In that case, we took the tunnel.
其实我们走的是隧道
Well, I think we can help you two ladies.
没问题，我们可以帮忙
Not gonna happen, Dave. We're on duty.
不可能，戴夫，我们在值班呢
Officers, we're already a little late.
警官大人，我们已经迟到了
And with all due respect, we don't have time to play good cop, bad cop.
恕我直言，我们真没时间玩好警察坏警察的游戏
Or in your cases, hot cop, hot cop.
不过你们俩是，帅警察超帅警察
Well, I think we can help you ladies. Let's get you down off of there.
没问题，我们可以帮忙。先扶你们俩下来吧。
I got the one in the low-cut.
裙子低胸那个我来扶
Thanks officer hot and officer hotter.
谢谢帅警官和超帅警官
You know I'm officer hotter, right?
你知道超帅警官说的是我吧
Oh, come on, man. Have you seen me in my sunglasses? No contest.
拜托，你见过哥戴墨镜的帅样吗？赢你几条街。
Max, I'm really impressed with how well you're maneuvering around in that long skirt.
麦克斯，你穿着长裙还能活动自如，真让我意外
Yeah, I was a serving wench at a medieval times restaurant.
我在中世纪餐馆工作时穿过女仆装
It's a breeze when I'm not carrying a tray loaded with Turkey legs and ale.
不用端着装满火鸡腿和啤酒的盘子，更让我身轻如燕
There's the "will call" Table.
预定零售台在那里
Walk in front and I'll hide behind you, as I'm the most hated woman in New York.
你走前面，我躲在你后面，因为我是全纽约最遭人恨的女人
So basically, I'm a human shield?
所以我是来当人肉盾牌的吗
Well, you have more up here to stop anything.
你上面比较"有料"，能抵挡一切
Max! What? Did someone pull a gun? I knew that was gonna happen.
麦克斯！怎么了？有人掏枪吗？我就知道会有状况发生
No, I screamed because I saw the couple whose sworn statement put my father in prison.
不是，我尖叫是因为我看见那对让我爸锒铛入狱的夫妇
Max! Acid in your pretty face?
麦克斯！有人用硫酸泼你的小脸吗
Sorry, I stayed up all night reading what people want to do to you in your hate mail. What was it?
抱歉，我熬夜翻你的仇恨信，看看人们想怎么把你千刀万剐。又怎么了
I went down so fast, I may have smeared my cupcake.
我蹲下太快，可能弄脏了我的小蛋糕。
That's the filthiest sounding clean thing I ever heard.
这是我听过最黄最"纯洁"的事了
It's fine. Good. Now let's go get those cheap plastic security bracelets that ruin our expensive gowns.
还好没事。现在去拿两个会破坏我们华服整体美感的廉价塑料安检手环
Can I get your name? Caroline... Channing.
能告诉我你的名字吗？卡洛琳...钱宁
I'm sorry, what? Caroline... Channing.
抱歉，没听见。卡洛琳...钱宁
What's with you? Just say your name. Channing.
你搞什么，快说名字。钱宁
Did you say channing? Caroline channing? Wait, are you that Caroline channing?
你刚是说钱宁吗，卡洛琳·钱宁？慢着，你是那个卡洛琳·钱宁吗
Shh, yes, and I personally called the R.S.V.P. Number. It has to be there.
对，我亲自打过电话问过主办方。肯定有我的名字。
Channing, channing, channing... No, I don't see "Caroline channing."
钱宁，钱宁，钱宁...没，我没看见有"卡洛琳·钱宁"
Maybe it's under my name. Max black. I'm with her.
或许在我的名字下。麦克斯·布莱克，我们是一起的
Black... no, no, no, I don't see any blacks here.
布莱克，没没没，我没看见任何叫布莱克的
You mean besides the ones working security?
你是说除了在场的黑人保安吗？
Let me check with Paul Platt, the party planner.
我问下派对策划人保罗·普拉特吧
He's on the phone with him right now. Hey, Brody. Oh, no.
他的助手正在跟他通电话呢。布洛迪。不是吧
There's a problem with the list. She's not on it. Her. Caroline channing.
名单有点问题。她不在名单上，就是她。卡洛琳·钱宁
Paul, I've got Caroline channing, and she's not on the list.
保罗，卡洛琳·钱宁来了，可她不在名单上。
If everybody in this line could just wait until we get the Caroline channing situation under control.
后面派对的各位麻烦等等，我们要处理下卡洛琳·钱宁突发状况
If you say "Channing" One more time, I'm going to actually pull your voice box out.
如果你敢在大声喊一次"卡洛琳·钱宁"，老娘就把你的喉头给扯出来
And its s so much more violent than it sounds.
做起来比听起来要暴力一百倍哦
Yes, Paul, I'll tell them. There's been a little mix-up.
好的，保罗，我会转告他们。出现了点小状况。
Five more minutes will get you right in. You're not getting in.
五分钟后就放你们进去。你们进不去。
Well, that's it. We tried. We gave it our best shot.
就这样吧，至少我们试了。我们尽力了。
Oh, no. This is the closest I have ever gotten to anything in my life almost working out. We are not giving up.
不要。这是我这辈子最接近成功的一次。我们不能放弃。
How are we getting in? Security's everywhere.
那我们怎么进去？这全是保安。
Yeah, out here, but not at the servers' entrance. I catered this last year.
对，这里全是，但服务员入口处没有。我去年不是来过吗
That's right, we're going backdoor.
没错，我们要走后门啦
That lady just punched me.
那女的打了我一拳
I knew that was gonna happen!
我就知道会有状况发生！
So you can just walk in here? Anyone can just walk right in?
你就这么大摇大摆地走进来啊？这里谁都可以随便进的吗？
Well, it helps that last year I made out with the tent flap guard, Rico, but basically, yeah, anyone.
去年我是靠跟里克那个帐篷保安亲热才进来的，但基本上谁都能进
When I think of all the times I left my purse on a table here unattended, I shudder... Shudder.
当我回想起过去我把钱包仍在桌子上跑掉时，我的心在颤抖啊，颤抖。
Okay, so we can't get in the actual building without being caterers,
好啦，我们不装成服务员，进不去主楼
so we have to change into those uniforms.
所以我们得换上制服
Wait. You never mentioned anything about a rent-a-clothes situation.
慢着。你刚可没有跟我说需要把礼服换掉哦small price to pay for us making it.
想进去总得付出点代价嘛
Is it? Is it a small price to pay?
是吗，这真的是小小的代价吗
Hurry, we have a superstar to stalk!
快点，我们得跟踪大明星呢
I thought I would hate it, but I'm kind of into it. I'm very Janelle Monae.
我原以为我会很抗拒，但我现在蛮喜欢的。我超像加奈儿·梦奈的。
No, you're Janelle I-have-no-Monae.
不，你是加奈儿·恶梦吧
What are we going to do with our dresses?
那我们的礼服怎么办
We can't leave them out here. I need them inside.
不能把它们留在这里，我进里面还要穿呢
I have to look amazing when I meet Martha Stewart.
我必须美美的见玛莎·斯图尔特
What does it matter what we're wearing?
我们穿什么去见她很重要吗
We're still going to be the two crazy girls chasing her down with a cupcake.
反正我们是两个拿着小蛋糕四处找她的疯婆子
That's why it matters.
所以衣着就更重要啦
I know. Here. Help me get the shelves out of this.
我知道了，这里。帮我把架子拿出来。
We can hang our dresses in here and push them in.
我们可以把礼服挂里面，然后把它们推进去。
Brilliant. Kind of like the Louis Vuitton travel wardrobe I used to have.
真聪明。这柜子有点像我以前的LV旅行衣柜
Or the service elevator I was born in.
或者像我妈生我时的那个电梯。
Coming through, hot food.
借过，滚汤热菜
Look out, very hot! Man, it's hot.
小心，热气腾腾，天啊，热死了
You're a waiter, not a weatherman.
你是个服务员，不是气象员
Hey, pretty girls, I like the way you push around that big steel box
美女，我喜欢你鼓捣大铁箱的方式
why don't you come over here and I'll have sex with you?
你何不过来，让我打一炮
A display like that really makes you appreciate Oleg's nuanced wit.
这样赤♥裸♥裸的言语，真让人感激奥列格恰如其分的调戏
Okay, let's go right to the ladies room so we can change.
好吧，我们直接去女厕所换衣服吧
Is it that way or that way? What? Shh, Johnny!
是走这边，还是那边？怎么了？强尼也在
How'd he get invited? This used to be an exclusive event.
怎么会邀请他？这过去可是私人聚会
He's "Made it," he goes where "Made it" People go.
他现在是"成功人士"，当然去"成功人士"该去的地方
Why are we hiding from that lowlife?
你干嘛躲着那个混♥蛋啊
If he sees me in another waiter uniform, I'm the sad girl always in the uniform.
如果他看见我穿着另一身服务生制服，我永远都是穿制服的可怜姑娘。
If he sees me in that dress at the ball, he can suck it.
如果他在舞会上看见我穿着礼服出现，那他可以回家擦眼泪了。
Ladies room, that way.
女厕所，在那边
The ladies room is right down here. Push harder.
女厕所就在这里。用力推。
Harder! Do you want Martha to see you dressed like that?
用力啊，你难道想穿成这样见玛莎吗
Move! Coming through! Excuse us. Food emergency.
闪开，借过！让一下。食物紧急情况
Fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers.
我的手指，手指，手指，手指
Coming through, coming through. Excuse us. Look alive, red! I almost hit you. Hold up.
借过，借过。让一下，看着点，红姑娘。我差点撞到你了，等等
Now just hold up. What is going on right now? You can't bring food in here.
你俩等等，这是怎么回事？你不能带食物进这儿
Oh, it's not food. That would be weird.
这不是食物，谁会带食物进来呀
It's dresses. We have to change into these, 'cause she has this guy she wants to impress,
这是礼服，我们得换上它，因为她要让一个男人刮目相看
and I have to change into it because I'm stalking Martha Stewart.
而我要换是因为我在跟踪玛莎·斯图尔特
Ooh, I'd be a terrible spy.
啊哦，我一定是个烂间谍
Usually I don't get the long stories till the end of the night,
通常在一晚结束后才有人跟我讲故事
and by then, the girls are crying and begging me for Wisdom and tic tacs.
那时，姑娘们会哭着求我给她们长长脑子，缩缩奶♥子。
I'll go first. I have to get two of these in one dress.
我先去。把这"胸器"塞进一条裙子，需要点时间。
Miss, do you have a shoehorn?
女士，请问你有鞋拔子吗？
Come on, Chanel shoes! Come on, Chanel knockoffs.
快出来，香奈儿的鞋。快出来，山寨香奈儿
Why are you not dressed yet?
你怎么还不换衣服
'Cause ladies take forever.
因为女人上厕所慢死了
It's all the spanx.
都怪那些塑身裤
Well, go, use my stall. I want to go stick my head out, and see if I can scope out Johnny.
去，用我那间，我要伸个头出去，看看能不能发现强尼。
No, ma'am, no! Not fair, ma'am.
不，女士，不，这不公平
Try the handicapper. This side. Good idea.
试试残疾人厕所，这边。好主意。
I cannot get a break tonight.
我今晚真是霉运不断
Psst, yo, Max. Johnny! Who are you looking for?
麦克斯！强尼！你在找谁
The Dominos guy. I was hiding in there, 'cause five more minutes, the pizza's free.
达美乐披萨仔。我躲在里面是因为再过五分钟披萨就能免♥费吃
I was hoping I'd run into you. Eh, no big deal.
我还期待能遇见你呢。也没什么好见的
Pretty big deal. You look amazing.
当然不是，你看起美呆了
Amazing. I will go as far as amaze-balls.
美得我蛋疼菊紧，虎躯一震
Thanks. You look like a guy in a commercial who has a ring and puppy hidden somewhere.
多谢夸奖。你看起像广告里那种藏着戒指和小狗的男人。
Can you believe it? We're both at this shmancy thing.
你能相信吗？咱俩身穿锦衣华服
Look how far we've gotten.
我们变化真大呀
Actually, when you think about it, we didn't get very far at all.
其实当你静心一想，你会发现我们都没变。
Nope, you're right. We didn't. Yeah, why?
对，你说得对，的确没变。为什么
Timing, I guess. Timing? Okay, whatever.
时机不对吧。时机？随你怎么说吧
You know, from now on, when I think of you,
从现在开始，每当我想起你
I'm gonna think of you in this and not the uniform.
我会想着你身穿礼服，而不是制服的样子
You know, from now on, maybe you shouldn't think of me at all. Gotta go, Mr. Manhattan.
从现在开始，或许你就不该再想我。走啦，曼哈顿先生。
That was awesome! Caroline, where are you?
太棒了，卡洛琳，你在哪里
I'm almost dressed.
我快穿好了
I just had the perfect in-your-face good-bye with Johnny.
我刚跟强尼来了次完美的当面告别
And speaking of "in your face," he couldn't take his eyes off my boobs...
说到"当面"，他当着我的面，还直勾勾盯着我的胸
Boobs that he can never have, now that he's getting married.
谁让他要结婚，这对美胸从此跟他告别了。
Damn, girl, you look good. What you doing later? Can I get your number?
靠，妹子，你真美，你晚点有活动吗？能给我你的电话吗
Oh, no, the cupcake got a little smushed in my purse.
天啊，小蛋糕在我的包包有点被砸碎了
We can't show this to Martha Stewart now.
我们不能拿给玛莎·斯图尔特了
Sure, we can. You think she never had a cupcake smush on her?
干嘛不可以。你觉得她没被人用蛋糕糊过脸吗
I doubt that very much. Martha Stewart is perfect.
我觉得没有。玛莎·斯图尔特是个完人。
Her feet don't even touch the ground.
超凡脱俗，脚不着地
The woman probably doesn't even go to the bathroom.
可能连厕所都不需要上
Martha Stewart's hardly perfect.
人无完人
And how are you this evening?
今晚过得好吗
No, you're right, Martha Stewart isn't perfect. Oh, I never said that!
你说得对，人无完人，她也不例外。这话我可没说过。
In fact, I hear she's a real ballbuster. You did not hear that.
其实我听说她超爱虐男人的。你什么都没听见。
Yep, a real ballbuster, you know? No, I do not know.
真的，超爱虐男人，你知道吗？我什么都不知道。
Would you mind handing me a towelette please?
能递块毛巾给我吗
Oh, one's fine. Thank you so much.
一块就行，谢谢
But the fact that Martha Stewart is so tough...
但就是因为玛莎·斯图尔特那么强悍
Caroline, you need to get out here right now.
卡洛琳，你得马上出来
The fact that she is a real ballbuster... Oh, dear God, help me.
那么爱虐男人。神啊，救救我吧。
Is what I like and respect about her. I mean, the woman's a genius.
所以我才那么喜欢她和敬重她。那个女人是个天才。
Now it's getting interesting.
越来越有意思了。
And besides, you can't really believe gossip.
而且，你不能听信传闻
Look at all that hate mail I got with people calling me a bitch, and I'm not a bitch.
瞧瞧我收到的仇恨信，多少人骂我贱♥货啊，可其实我不是。
Well, that's debatable. Martha Stewart, hi. Hello.
这有待商议。玛莎·斯图尔特，你好。你好啊。
I'm Caroline, and this is my business partner, Max, and we have a start-up cupcake business.
我是卡洛琳，这是我的生意伙伴麦克斯，我们的小蛋糕生意刚起步。
Dude, are you serious? You're still going for it.
妹子，你不是吧，都这样了你还不放手啊
I know this is highly inappropriate,
我知道这非常不合时宜
but we brought a cupcake here tonight in hopes that you might taste it.
但我们今晚带了个小蛋糕过来，衷心希望你能尝一口。
So you want me to taste your cupcake in the ladies room. What's inappropriate about that?
所以你要我在女厕所吃你的小蛋糕。还有比这更不合时宜的吗？
We're a start-up business. We've got to take risks. This is Max. She's the baker.
我们的生意刚起步，不抓住机会不行啊。这位是麦克斯，她是烘培师。
You're the baker. I'm the baker. Hm, it looks quite appealing.
你是烘培师啊。我是烘培师。看起来蛮吸引人的。
Oh, my God. I know this is a social event, so I'm so sorry for making it about business.
天啊。我知道这是社交场合，很抱歉把它弄得那么商业化
When you're in business for yourself, you have to take every situation as a business opportunity.
当你自己出来打拼事业时，你必须得把每一个场合都当作是商机。
Look, I have five of these in here.
瞧，我还随身带着五本书呢
I love your magazine. I read every single issue until they realized I didn't even go to that doctor.
我超爱看你的家政杂志。我阅读上面每一篇文章，直到我被抓到不是看病，只是去偷看杂志。
Well, in spite of the fact that you have not yet washed your hands...
我要说一句，你至今还没有洗手...
I was just changing my dress in there. I'll taste it. You will?
我刚是在里面换衣服的。我会尝一口。真的吗？
I like your entrepreneurial drive.
我喜欢你的闯劲
And I have a feeling that it's actually the only way I'm gonna get out of here alive.
而且我深深地觉得，只有尝一口，才能活着离开这儿。
That is our beer batter maple bacon spring break cupcake. Hm, clever name. Thank you.
这是我们的酒混面粉加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕。名字不错。谢谢。
It is a little smushed, though. That's unfortunate. I told you.
不过有点糊了，真可惜。我都说了。
Mmm. Quiet tasty. I like it. Do you girls have a card?
蛮好吃的。我喜欢。你们有名片吗？
Get it out, get it out, get it out.
拿出来，拿出来，快拿出来
Ah, thank you very much. "Max's homemade cupcakes."
非常感谢。"麦克斯自制小蛋糕"。
Well, you know who'd really like that cupcake? Stoners.
你知道谁会超级喜欢你们的小蛋糕吗？瘾君子。
She said "Max's homemade cupcakes."
她念了"麦克斯自制小蛋糕"这名字
Martha Stewart likes our cupcakes! Martha Stewart likes our cupcakes!
玛莎·斯图尔特喜欢我们的小蛋糕！玛莎·斯图尔特喜欢我们的小蛋糕！