给栗宝找个新家

Club sandwich, burger.
总会三明治，汉堡包
Why the big smile, Han?
憨，干嘛笑得这么开心
You going commando under those corduroys?
是在兴奋灯芯绒裤里没穿内♥裤吗
No, Max, I am happy today because diner clientele has finally changed for the better.
不，麦克斯，我开心是因为用餐顾客的整体质素终于有了提高
Look, two parties of cool hipsters are sitting at tables near wall.
瞧，靠墙桌子那边坐着两帮嬉皮士潮人
You think those are six hipsters?
你觉得那边坐着的是六个嬉皮士吗
Okay, let's go over this one more time.
好吧，咱们再考一遍
Hipster or homeless pop quiz, ready? Ready.
如何区分嬉皮士和流浪汉，准备好了吗？好了
Hipsters wear? Skinny jeans.
嬉皮士穿什么？紧身牛仔裤
Homeless wear? Dirty jeans.
流浪汉穿什么？脏牛仔裤
Hipsters listen to? Radiohead.
嬉皮士听什么？收音机头的音乐
Homeless listen to? The voices in their head.
流浪汉听什么？自己头里的幻听
Hipsters have? Beard and a blog.
嬉皮士有什么？络腮胡和博客
Homeless have? Beard and so much sadness.
流浪汉有什么？络腮胡和愁云惨雾
I see sadness, there and there.
我看见愁云笼罩着他和他
I'll handle this.
我来搞定
I told you before, I don't want you kind in here.
我说过这家店不欢迎你们这种人
Take a trendy hike.
滚去追逐潮流吧
Better step it up. The Apple store closes at ten.
赶紧动身，苹果店十点就关门了
Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?
麦克斯，为什么你要把嬉皮士赶走
'Cause I could not be in the background of another Instagram photo.
因为我不想再次成为他们非主流自♥拍的人肉背景
Here's the last check, Earl.
这是最后一张账单，厄尔
And, Max, they stiffed us on the tip but they forgot their camera.
麦克斯，那桌客人小费给得小气，却大方地忘了他们的相机
Oh, I'll give it to Oleg.
我会把它交给奥列格
He can take one of his special pictures.
他可以拍一张他的"独家"照片
That way, when they come back to get it, everyone will have been stiffed.
这样的话，等他们回来取相机时，就能赏他们点小"鸡"瞧瞧
Well, good night, ladies.
晚安，女士们
I gotta get home before the snow starts.
我得在下雪之前到家
It's not gonna snow, Earl, it's 50 degrees.
不会下雪的啦，厄尔，现在有十度呢
Oh, it's gonna snow, trust me.
肯定会下雪，相信我
I couldn't tell when my first wife was coming, but I can sure tell when a storm is coming.
我猜不准我前妻何时会找上门，但暴风雪上门，我可是一个说一个准
All right, so what's the plan?
好吧，计划是什么
What are we gonna do if it does snow?
如果真的下雪，我们该怎么办
You're so white, I'm worried we're gonna lose you.
你个死白妞，白雪遍地时我会弄丢你的
I love the snow.
我喜欢下雪天
Opening my balcony doors and watching it fall
打开我的阳台门，看着雪花飘落
like fresh white linen and then running across the street to the park to make snow angels.
就像全新的白色亚麻布，然后跑到对街的公园堆雪天使
Yeah, that's snow when you're rich.
没错，那是你有钱时的下雪天
The only snow angels you'll see this year are the six crack addicts frozen to our stoop.
今年你唯一能看见的雪"天使"， 是六个在门廊前冻成冰的瘾君子
Oh, not to mention the adorable frozen horse we have illegally living in the backyard.
更不用说那只被我们非法养在后院的可爱冰棍马
Max, don't overreact. Chestnut's fine.
麦克斯，不要这么夸张，栗宝没事的
It's not gonna snow for weeks.
离下雪还几周时间呢
All right, have it your way.
好吧，你就这么想吧
But I wouldn't want to be the next tenants
但我可不想下一位房客
who have to figure out why a pissed off horse is haunting a Brooklyn apartment.
搞不懂为什么会有愤怒的马魂在布鲁克林的公寓阴魂不散
I was cold and she thought she knew weather patterns.
我冷死了，她却自以为是天气"砖"家
Oleg, take a picture of your junk on this customer's camera.
奥列格，存张你鸡鸡的倩影到这相机里吧
Done.
收到
Aren't you gonna ask why?
你不问原因吗
No need.
你有求，我必硬
I just saw Oleg's...
我刚看见奥列格的...
Yeah, that might have been my fault.
我得负部分责任
Kind of a shock seeing it for the first time.
第一次见到，你震惊是正常的
Max, I don't like you implying that I would ever be cruel to Chestnut.
麦克斯，我不喜欢你暗示我可能会做出虐待栗宝的事
I'm not implying it. I'm saying it outright.
我没有在暗示，我是明示
It's winter.
现在可是冬天
And it's not like I've not been thinking about it.
我又不是没考虑过这个问题
But Chestnut belongs in a special home.
但栗宝需要一个特别的家
I've done some research, and I found a retreat in the Grand Tetons
我查过了，在大山峰公园有间休养所
where newly-divorced women come to hug horses to help them gain back their ability to trust.
刚离婚的女人会去那里拥抱马儿，帮助她们重建信任的能力
The only Grand Tetons Chestnut trusts are mine.
栗宝唯一相信的，是我这对"大山蜂"
Lady, you gotta get a reality check real quick 'cause Earl thinks it's gonna snow.
小妞，赶紧面对现实吧，厄尔说会下雪就真的会下
Earl also thinks the theme from Shaft was stolen from a cassette tape he sent out in 1975.
厄尔还觉得《黑街神探》的主题曲是剽窃他在1975年寄出的录音样本呢
Shut your mouth. That happened.
把嘴闭上，真有其事
Max, it's not gonna snow.
麦克斯，不会下雪的
I know snow.
我懂雪
We owned a ski chalet in Saas-Fee Switzerland
我家在瑞士的萨斯费拥有一座小木屋
and I think I know more than anyone in this restaurant about living in cold climes.
这家餐馆也没人比我更了解如何在寒冷的气候下生存
Snow is coming.
要下雪啦
Yo, Swiss miss, you wanna have a conversation about cold climes with Snowleg over there?
喂，瑞士小妞，你想跟雪列格先生聊聊寒冷的气候吗
Oh, Max, I almost forgot. The camera.
麦克斯，我差点忘记了，相机还你
I think you'll be very pleased.
我想你一定会很满意
I made a little video as well.
我还附赠了个精彩小短片哟
Why are you wearing two coats?
为什么你要穿两件大衣啊
Same reason I wear two condoms. In case one breaks.
跟我戴两个套子一个道理，免得有层破了
What the?
搞毛呀
Well, good morning, world's worst weather girl.
早安，全世界最烂的天气预报员
I have never seen so much sunshine.
我这辈子没见过阳光如此"充足"的一天
You know what that means?
你知道这意味着什么吗
Earl wrote Shaft.
《黑街神探》主题曲的确是厄尔写的
Max, I know it snowed, you don't have to tell me.
麦克斯，我知道下雪了，不劳你提醒
I'm surrounded by so much white stuff I'm like Al Pacino in the last scene of Scarface.
被这么多的白色包围，感觉就像阿尔·帕西诺在《疤面煞星》里的最后一幕
What are you wearing?
你穿的是什么呀
You look like a bag of crazy garbage grew arms.
看起来像长出俩手臂的疯狂垃圾袋
It's the Hefty 2011 winter collection.
这是2011年冬季家用品混搭系列
I gave Chestnut my coat.
我把大衣给栗宝了
This is the only way to keep the snow off me.
这是让雪不落在我身上的唯一办法
Look at poor Chestnut.
瞧瞧可怜的栗宝
What is he wearing on his hooves?
他蹄子裹的是什么
I cut up my Fendi cashmere leggings.
我把我名牌山羊绒的袜裤剪了给它穿
I grabbed them when we raided the town house.
上次我们潜入别墅时顺手抓的
I thought ahead for me, but not for him.
我当时只想着自己，忘了他了
He is humiliated in those ladies clothes.
让他穿女人衣服，他尊严何在啊
He looks like J. Edgar Hoover.
他看起来像埃德加·胡佛
I've been out here sweeping since 4:00 A.M.
我凌晨四点就出来扫雪了
But it just keeps coming down.
但雪一直下
What is your problem, snow?
你♥他♥妈有病啊，雪花
I used to love you!
我以前多爱你呀
Maybe we should ask your old doorman "insert generic Irish name here" to come help.
或许我们该问问你以前的门童，"这里插入统称的爱尔兰人名" 来帮忙
I know their names.
我知道他们的名字
Day James, night James and black James.
日班詹姆斯，夜班詹姆斯和黑人詹姆斯
So your plan is you're gonna sweep the snow away till spring while the horse is trapped under this tarp?
你的计划就是一直扫雪扫到开春，扫到他被雪活埋了还在扫吗
Which I'm pretty sure was covering the out of business Cuban restaurant down the street.
而且这块防水布是附近那家倒闭的古巴饭馆的顶盖吧
They were out of business and I left a note.
他们倒闭了，我留了张纸条
What did it say? "I'm loco, gracias."
上面写什么 "我是疯子，多谢"
No, it said, "Sorry I took your roof, hang in there"
不，我是写"抱歉拿了你屋顶，撑着点"
Max, don't be so negative.
麦克斯，不要这么消极
Doesn't matter where it came from, it's working.
管这布是哪儿来的，管用就行了
I just need to secure this tarp a little.
我再固定一下这块布就行了
Stop, you were gonna climb on an icy chair in six inch heels and break your neck
打住，你是想蹬着高跟鞋爬上结冰的椅子，然后摔断脖子吗
and then I'm gonna be stuck with a horse in leggings
然后害我得养着穿袜裤的马
and you in a wheelchair with a chopstick in your mouth tapping out, "I'm sorry, I thought that would work."
和嘴里叼着筷子坐轮椅的你,还用筷子打信号 "抱歉，我以为能行的"
I learned to build when I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity.
我在博爱居家当义工时学过盖东西
Looking back, they had so much more than I have now.
回想起来，那些穷人比现在的我富多了
Okay.
好吧
I gotta go to my babysitting job
我得去当保姆了
and when I get back, you and I are gonna sit down
等我回来，你和我得坐下来
and come up with a more realistic home for J. Edgar Hoofer.
好好商量出一个靠谱点的家给小变装癖马
Max, he lives here.
麦克斯，他就住在这儿
And I'm telling you, this is working.
相信我，这行的
What I'm doing is actually kind of brilliant.
我这法子其实蛮聪明的呢
Now I'm worried about those houses you built.
现在我开始担心你盖的那些房子了
Hey, Peach.
你好，琵琪
Max, I have the most incredible news.
麦克斯，我有个天大的好消息
Lawyer finally found a loophole in your prenup?
律师终于发现婚前协议书的漏洞了吗
I wish, no.
我也希望，但不是
I just got an email and I have made it to the final round of casting for Real Housewives of Tribeca.
我刚接到电邮通知，我成功晋级到《三角洲主妇》选角的最后一轮了
Real Housewives of Tribeca?
《三角洲主妇》啊
They're doing neighborhoods now?
现在连普通小区都能成为主题了吗
What's next, Real Housewives of from here to there?
那之后是要做《这里到那里主妇》吗
The producers are on their way over
制作人在路上了
and I want everything to be perfect when they see Brad and Angelina.
布莱德和安洁莉娜得呈现最完美的一面给人家看
Uh, Peach, are you aware that your children are being eaten by clothing?
琵琪，你不觉得你的孩子被衣服包得喘不上气吗
The snowsuits are Burberry.
这个儿童防雪服可是国际大牌呀
And the padding hides Angelina's weight problem.
而且包起来就看不出安洁莉娜的肥胖
Okay, you have to stop saying that.
够了，你别再这么说了
She doesn't have a weight problem.
她才没有体重问题
She's gained 25 pounds in one year.
她一年胖了11公斤呢
Yeah, 'cause she started at zero.
没错，因为她的体重是从0开始
Max, we all have to look our best, 'cause ready?
麦克斯，我们必须得呈现最好的一面，
The last spot in the show is between me and Misty Mastbaum.
因为这节目还是我和米斯提·马斯特鲍的较量
I thought she was your bestie.
我以为她是你闺蜜呢
She is, but my bestie's a bitchy.
她是啊，但我的闺蜜是贱♥人
She's crazy competitive.
她超级好胜
As soon as we were approached about the show, she adopted a three-legged corgi and named it Mr. Pickle.
节目刚有谱，她就领养了三条腿的狗，还取名为泡菜
That's crazy bitchy.
那还真是很超级贱啊
So now, I'm looking up handicapped animals to impress the producers.
所以现在，我要找残疾的动物，好给制作人留下深刻的印象
Oh, you want a handicapped animal?
你想要只残疾的动物吗
I got your handicapped animal.
我可以帮你弄来
I know a homeless horse with gender identity issues.
我知道一匹有分辨性别障碍的流浪马
I was thinking something cute, but damaged.
我是想要一些可爱点，但有缺陷的
Like a one-eyed French bulldog.
比如法国独眼斗牛犬
What if I told you that this horse was a celebrity horse?
要是这匹马以前是匹明星马呢
Tell me more.
继续说
My friend, Caroline Channing...
我朋友，卡洛琳·钱宁
How do you know Caroline Channing?
你怎么会认识卡洛琳·钱宁啊
She's my AA sponsor.
她是我戒酒互助协会的保证人
Makes sense. Go on.
的确有可能，继续
Anyway, she has this cute, but crazy damaged horse
总之，这匹可爱但是超有缺陷的马是她的
and since her life flipped upside down, he needs a good home.
她的生活从天堂掉下地狱后，那马需要一个好的归属
Well, I'd have to meet Caroline first. Bring her by on Saturday.
我得先见见卡洛琳·钱宁，周六把她带这儿来
Max, what an amazing idea.
麦克斯，这个主意太棒了
Misty is literally going to die.
米斯提就乖乖受死吧
I am so thrilled you have a drinking problem.
我真高兴你酗酒过度
Did you have to put him in my bedroom?
你非得把他放我卧室吗
It was the easiest room to horse proof.
你房间最容易布置"马匹保护措施"
You have so little of worth.
毕竟里面没值钱物品
You can stop googling. I already found a perfectly good place to put him.
你不用在谷歌上搜了，我已经找到完美的下家了
You're not still suggesting I give Chestnut to Peach Landis?
你不会想着让我把栗宝交给琵琪吧
Max, look at me. Look at me in the eyes.
麦克斯，看着我，看着我的眼睛
Are you high?
你嗑药嗑傻了吗
No, I couldn't find my bedroom stash since you moved everything around.
没有，你乱弄我房里的东西后，我就找不到我的"药"了
Chestnut needs a home with affection and Peach won't even hug her children.
栗宝需要的是一个有爱的家，琵琪连抱自己的孩子都不愿意
She pays you to do that.
她雇你来代劳
That's why it's perfect.
所以才完美呀
She'll pay for the fancy stable and we'll go and hug Chestnut for her whenever we want.
华丽的马房她出钱，我们还可以随心所欲地去抱栗宝
You just need to go meet her and it's done.
你只需去见她一面，然后这事就成了
I have the DNA of a rich girl,
我是天生的富家女
even though I'm lying in bed with you in a tenement
即使我现在和你躺在廉价公寓的床上
and I bought my dinner tonight with dimes.
还用了硬币去买晚餐
Chestnut and I are old money.
我和栗宝是老派富人
And old money doesn't parade itself around in front of cameras and beg for attention.
老派富翁不会到处炫耀自己，在摄像机前显摆求关注
Hey, you're not the only one with old money.
不光你有老钱
I've had a dollar in my jeans I've been carrying around for three weeks.
我口袋里也有个揣了三周的老硬币
You're meeting Peach Saturday, and we're saying good-bye to the horse.
你周六去见琵琪，我们就跟那匹马说再见了
Why is getting rid of Chestnut so easy for you?
送走栗宝对你来说就这么容易啊
Didn't you ever have a pet as a child?
难道你小时候没养过宠物吗
Yes, I had a puppy.
养过，我有只小狗
And after a week of living with my mom,
跟我妈妈住了一周后
she pulled the car over and put us out on the side of the road.
她就开车把我跟小狗都扔路边了
She got rid of it?
她把狗弄走了啊
Look, pets are not my thing, okay?
听着，宠物不是我的菜
I already have something needy and fluffy that'll die if I don't take care of it... you.
我已经有个又黏人又毛绒绒不照顾就会死掉的东西，就是你
Go, it's your turn to go check on him.
快去，到你去看他了
No, I went the last time and caught him eating my bra.
不要，上次我过去，抓到他偷吃我胸罩呢
Don't exaggerate. He only ate half of it.
别夸大其词，他只吃了一半
Oh, I'm sorry, you're right, I should be more positive.
抱歉，你说得对，我应该持乐观态度
One of my cups is half full.
我的罩"杯"是半满的
What's going on in there?
里面发生什么事了
I don't suppose there's any way you took a giant dump on your dresser?
我想你应该不会在梳妆台上拉一大坨屎吧
You can't blame Chestnut. He's probably nervous.
你不能怪栗宝，他可能是不安
After wearing your leggings, he's getting ready for his fame audition.
穿上你的袜裤之后，他一直准备着一举成名的试镜呢
He's a maniac, maniac on all fours.
他是个疯子，从手到脚都是
Oh, Max, here's something.
麦克斯，有发现
The Ivy bridge riding stables in Brooklyn.
布鲁克林的艾薇马房
Only five miles away.
离这儿只有五英里远
It says on their website that their horses are featured in commercials and films!
他们的网站上说，他们的马能在广告和电影中出镜
Can you say Chestnut, star of the War Horse sequel?
栗宝说不定能出演《战马》续集呢
Did you take the weed from my bedside table?
你是不是偷抽了我床头柜的大♥麻
Look at me.
看着我
Look at me in the eyes.
看着我的眼睛
Are you high?
你嗑药嗑傻了吗
Honestly... a little.
老实说，有点儿
Close that and go to sleep.
关掉电脑，快睡觉吧
No, I'm still reading.
不，我还在看
Oh look at that, I just pulled down your browser history.
瞧，我刚弄出了你的浏览记录
Interesting list.
挺耐人寻味啊
Kitten plays a keyboard, kitten sneezes and farts at the same time?
小猫弹电子琴，小猫边打喷嚏边放屁
Give me that, that's private.
给我，那可是我的隐私
Kitten folds a T-shirt!
小猫折衣服
Oh, kitten rings a doorbell.
小猫按门铃
I thought you said you weren't into pets.
我还以为宠物不是你的菜呢
I'm not! It's a kitten ringing a doorbell!
我是不喜欢，但这可是小猫按门铃啊
He's trying to get in like people.
他想用人类的方式进门
You have a secret soft spot for animals.
你对可爱动物明明就没有抵抗力
No, I'm just into freaky kittens.
不，我只喜欢奇怪的小猫
There's one who puts on a snakeskin suit and goes on a business trip.
还有个影片是小猫穿上蛇皮西装然后去出差呢
That's not soft. That is freaky.
这不是可爱，这是奇怪
Fine, you're telling me to get a reality check about Chestnut.
好吧，你让我去帮栗宝找个现实的下家
But you need one too.
但你也需要回到现实
You're gonna miss him when he's gone.
他走后你一定会想他的
Max, are you listening?
麦克斯，你有在听吗
Max, don't worry.
麦克斯，别担心
I know it's all gonna work out perfectly at the stables tomorrow.
我知道明天去马房绝对会进展顺利
I'm not worried.
我没有在担心
The man's not here yet.
那人还没来呢
Damn it, turn us around Max, we have to enter again.
靠，转回去，我们得重新进场
This is the third time.
这都是第三遍了
Max, come on, we borrowed these coats from Oleg to make a dramatic star entrance.
拜托嘛，麦克斯，跟奥列格借大衣不就是为了巨星般的入场吗
If you want me to fake it again, you have to buy me dinner and call me pretty.
如果你想让我再假一次，你得请我吃饭，叫我美人儿
Fine, then help me down quickly.
好吧，那快帮忙放我下来
I don't wanna be mid-dismount when the stable guy walks in.
我不想下马的丑样被马房的人撞见
God, ugh. You just sat on my face.
天啊，你刚坐到我脸上了
Like I haven't done enough for you.
好像我还没有"受"够一样
Oh, hello, are you Tony?
你好，请问你是汤尼吗
Last time I checked.
没记错的话，我是
Oh, jeez.
天啊
I'm Caroline Channing. We spoke on the phone.
我是卡洛琳·钱宁，我们通过电话
And this is Chestnut.
他是栗宝
Max, step back.
麦克斯，往后退
Oh, great. I'll just be over here
很好，我就去那边
like the awkward father in the background on Toddlers and Tiaras.
跟《桂冠幼童》节目背景里尴尬的父亲一样站着
Well, here he is.
主角在这儿
And as we discussed, Chestnut is a champion jumper
我们谈过的，栗宝是只冠军跳栏马
his dressage is impeccable, he's ribboned three times at the Hampton Classic,
他的马术表演无懈可击，他在马术表演赛上得过三次奖
and he comes from a historically elite line of distinguished show horses.
血统来自十分精英荟萃的表演马家族
And he pees like a civil rights fire hose.
他尿起尿来跟镇暴水柱一样威猛
Max, step further back.
麦克斯，再往后退退
Come on, let's cut to the chase.
得了，咱们就打开天窗说亮话吧
He's nice, brown, he looks sick in leggings, and he's free, so take him or leave him.
他是匹好马，棕色，穿袜裤的样子超恶心，他还不要钱，要不要随便你
When'd you say he was a jumper?
你说他是什么时候的跳栏马
From 2005 to 2010.
2005至2010年
He was in a class by himself.
他以前可是有专人指导的呢
Well, maybe he was a jumper, but he isn't anymore.
或许他过去是个跳栏马，但他已经廉颇老矣了
What?
什么
Well, he's a little out of shape.
他身材有点走样了
Well, you have a gut.
你丫的有种啊
Whoa! I'm just saying he's seen better days.
别激动，我只是说他曾勇猛过
I'm just saying your hair is falling out in fistfuls.
我也只是说你曾不秃过
Okay, okay.
好了，好了
Let's not get personal, we all want this to work.
别搞人身攻击，这生意还得谈呢
He's the one who's getting personal going after Chestnut like that.
他这么说栗宝才是人身攻击吧
Okay, you tell me, when's the last time he's exercised?
好吧，那你告诉我他上一次运动是什么时候
When's the last time you exercised?
你上一次运动又是什么时候
Wow, show business is rough.
看来娱乐界不好混呀
All right, it's Tony, right?
好了，你是汤尼，对吧
Last time I checked.
没记错的话，是的
All right, Tony, you'll have to forgive her.
汤尼，你必须得原谅她
She really loves him and wants this to work out.
她真的很爱这匹马，并希望这能谈成
Bottom line is, even a free horse isn't free.
重点是，天下没有免♥费的马
I still have to feed him and take care of him and truth be told, this horse isn't gonna make me a penny.
养他要钱，照顾费神。而老实说，这匹马给我赚不来一个子儿
If my film guy comes in here, he's gonna pick that beauty over this one.
电影合作商过来，肯定也是选那匹靓马而不是这匹
So it's not gonna work out, girls.
所以这事谈不成，姑娘们
All right, well, we got other offers, fatty.
好吧，你不要还有别人要呢，死胖子
Come on, let's go.
来，咱们走
You know, maybe next time before you let someone ride five Miles across Brooklyn in a toxic, Russian,
下次你害人穿着借来的有毒又带廉价古龙水味的皮毛大衣
cologne-soaked rent-a-fur,
骑了五英里穿过布鲁克林时
you should be clear that the film business, even for horses, is ageist and elitist.
你应该搞搞清楚，电影业，即使选马，也偏爱有年纪跟精英血统的
And, yes, we may have seen better days,
没错，我们的确是走下坡的老将
but with hard work, determination and a little luck, one day we'll be back on top.
但只要努力与决心和一点点运气，谁说老将就不能再上巅峰
Yeah, and I'm not impressed by your big star pony overthere.
对了，你的大明星马根本就无聊到爆
He's just standing still.
只会傻站着一动不动
You wanna impress me?
要想打动我的心
Have him meow and ring the doorbell.
让他学猫叫，然后去按门铃吧
Don't take it personally, Chestnut.
别放在心上，栗宝
Those horses have had work done.
那些马都是整形的
Maybe you wanna take the cinch sack off before you meet Peach.
在见琵琪之前，把垃圾袋肚兜脱了如何
No, it's snowing again and I'm a penniless beggar.
不必，外面在下雪，而我还是个穷光蛋
I should look like one.
那就应该打扮得像点
Besides, she'll probably think it's a look.
再说了，她可能会以为这是时尚打扮呢
All right, I know this one on one with Peach isn't your ideal scenario,
好吧，我知道跟琵琪见面不是你理想中的场景
but it's what's best for Chestnut, so man up and face reality.
但一切都是为了栗宝，所以打起精神，面对现实吧
You're right.
你说得对
And my friend, Caroline Channing...
我的朋友，卡洛琳·钱宁
What is it?
怎么了
You might be ready to face reality, but are you ready to face reality TV?
你可能已经做好准备面对现实，但你准备好要面对现实版的真人秀了吗
The place is crawling with Peach clones and TV cameras ready to meet you.
这地方充斥着琵琪版的克隆人和准备拍你的电视摄像机
She totally set us up.
她完全是挖坑给咱们跳
Are you kidding me?
你开什么玩笑
Fabulous, this is awesome, just awesome.
太妙了，这太棒了，真是太棒了
She's using the Caroline Channing freak show to get herself on another freak show.
她利用卡洛琳·钱宁的潦倒奇葩样来让她进另一个奇葩秀
All right, you're right, let's go, you don't have to do this.
好吧，你说得对，咱们走，你不必进去
No, if I made Chestnut parade around and be humiliated in public,
不，如果栗宝因我得游街示众，在电视上被人当笑话看
then I have to be willing to do the same.
我也愿意接受同样的待遇
Here, hold my coat.
给，拿着我的"大衣"
You always have those with you?
你一直随身带着这些吗
Yes, I'm from Manhattan.
是啊，我可是从曼哈顿来的
Okay, thank me for coming. What?
好了，说"感谢您大驾光临" 。什么
Thank me for coming, that's what people did all the time when I was a billionaire.
感谢您大驾光临，当我还是亿万富翁的时候，别人常对我说
Thank you for coming.
感谢您大驾光临
No, thank you for inviting me.
不，感谢您邀请我
Wow, that's so cool.
哇，太牛了
Don't freak out.
淡定点
I'm about to get my rich on.
我要一秒钟变富家女了
So when we go in there I'll introduce you?
我们进去后，我需要介绍你吗
Oh, you don't have to.
不必
Rich people always pretend to know each other.
有钱人总是假装认识彼此
Now open that door, and let's get my baby a home.
现在打开门，让我帮栗宝找个家
Peach. I wanna thank you for inviting me into your beautiful home
琵琪，我想感谢你邀请我来你这么漂亮的家
and showing me such kindness during this very difficult, difficult time.
在我这非常困难艰苦的时期对我伸出援手
Ladies, I would like you all to meet my dear friend, Caroline Channing.
女士们，我正式向大家介绍我亲爱的朋友，卡洛琳·钱宁
Who, in light of her recent very difficult, difficult financial troubles,
在她经济上非常困难艰苦的时期
has asked me to adopt her damaged pet horse
她请我收养她残疾的宠物马
who was brought to my attention by my alcoholic servant, Max.
这还是我的酒鬼仆人麦克斯帮牵的线
Right over there.
她在那边
Caroline, thank you for coming.
卡洛琳，感谢您大驾光临
No, thank you for inviting me.
不，感谢你的邀请
I'm proud of you.
我为你感到骄傲
No, I'm proud of you.
是我为你感到骄傲
I just got the chills again.
搞得我又浑身起鸡皮了
Oh, Max, look at him. He's smiling.
麦克斯，你瞧他，他在笑呢
He likes this place.
他喜欢这地方
Yeah, it's almost worth you being humiliated on reality TV.
是啊，也快值得你在真人秀上被人羞辱了
Oh, I'll never be on that show. I didn't sign the release.
我不会出现在那节目上的，我没有签授权书
What?
什么
Old money don't sign.
老派富人不会随便签名
You're gonna love it here, huh?
你会喜欢这儿的，对吧
Aren't you gonna love it here? A nice big stable.
你是不是会喜欢这呀？又好又大的马房
Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
我可能喜欢，也可能不喜欢
Maybe I should come home and live with my best friend, Max.
也许我该跟我的挚友麦克斯回家住
What about Caroline? She can sleep under the tarp.
那卡洛琳怎么办？她可以睡在防水布下
So I guess you found your weed.
我猜你找到你的大♥麻了
No, this is just something we do when we're alone together. It's kind of our thing.
不，我和栗宝单独相处时，都这么玩。这是我们的小秘密
You really love Chestnut, don't you?
你真的很爱栗宝，对吧
He's all right. He's no kitten.
还好啦，他又不是猫咪
Okay, I'll see you soon, Chestnut.
好吧，我们很快会再见的，栗宝
You want a minute alone? I'll be out front.
你想单独跟他待会儿吗？我在外面等你
This is probably gonna seem ridiculous to you
我知道这些话可能有点可笑
because you're a horse and I'm just some lady that's been slipping you carrots for the last few months, but...
因为你只是匹马，而我只是某个在过去几个月一直喂你胡萝卜的女人
I really got attached to you.
我真的爱上你了
This is way more than most horses get out of me.
这待遇可是其他马儿没有的
I wasn't even this upset when they discontinued tan M&Ms.
罐装巧克力豆停产那会儿，我都没这么难过
I, um... I really haven't had much go right for me in my life,
我...我这一生有许许多多的不如意
and I'm pretty sure things are gonna keep getting worse but, you were a good thing.
我也确信未来只会愈加艰难，可你却如此的好
And when everything sucked, you were the best thing we had going.
当一切都不如人意时，你是我们生活中唯一的美好
And you're fuzzy too.
而且你还毛绒绒的
You're so fuzzy, and no one can argue that touching a warm, fuzzy thing isn't straight up lovely.
你超毛茸茸的，而且谁敢说摸着一个暖融融毛绒绒的东西不有爱啊
So, thank you for everything you did for us, but... especially for being fuzzy.
感谢你给我们带来的一切，尤其是长得这么毛绒绒
Max, are you okay?
麦克斯，你还好吧
Yeah, I'm fine, I'll always be fine.
嗯，我没事，我绝不会有事
Are you crying?
你在哭吗
Yeah, I'm crying, 'cause I wish I could live here.
是的，我在哭，因为我也想住在这里
Don't worry, we'll come visit, and we'll find a way to bring him home in the spring.
别担心，我们可以来看他，我们会想到法子，等春天来了就带他回家
Come on. I have a pocket full of dimes.
好啦，我有满满一口袋铜板呢
Let's go get some convenience store taquitos and wash 'em down with blue raspberry wine coolers.
我们去买点便利店玉米卷，配着蓝覆盆子酒，大快朵颐一番吧
They're on sale at the bodega.
杂货店在特卖呢
Two four packs for five dollars.
八瓶只要五块
You know exactly what to say to cheer a broke sista up.
你还真懂怎么让伤心的姐妹打起精神
And when we get home, I found a video of a kitten singing Bruno Mars.
等回到家，给你看个小猫，他会唱火星哥的歌呢