友谊的考验
Earl, can you break some 20's?
厄尔，能把这20块找开吗
The big spenders at table two wanna split their $11 check three ways,
二号桌的"大款"们，三人行还硬要分摊11块的账单
even though one person did all the eating.
基本上不就一个人在吃而已嘛
I was in a three-way once. Same thing happened.
我也跟别人"三人行"过，情况如出一辙
Max, table ten would like the check.
麦克斯，十号桌买单
And don't forget to pick up customer comment card.
别忘了收顾客意见表
Customers very important.
顾客就是上帝呀
It's all about the fans.
财源滚滚，全靠粉丝
Yeah, I'm not a fan of hearing what people have to say.
粉丝意见，关我屁事
For instance, what's happening right now... Not a fan.
比方说，你现在跟我废话...我完全不"粉"
Max, feedback from customers is very important business tool.
麦克斯，顾客意见表是非常重要的商业工具
Perhaps we'll pump the brakes on sour waitress attitude.
或许该让我们的毒舌服务生改改态度了
There's only one tool that can change my 'tude,
唯一能改变我"态度"的工具呢
but I'm gonna need two double-a batteries. And a 20-minute break.
需要用到两颗电池和二十分钟休息时间
Welcome, everyone.
欢迎各位
Thanks for coming to very important, first official diner meeting.
感谢出席这场非常重要的，餐馆首次正式会议
This ain't right, man. 2:00 A.M. starts Earl time.
真是不厚道，半夜两点后是厄尔的私人时间
Earl, here's your brandy.
厄尔，你的白兰地酒
Okay, we're good now.
很好，我没意见了
If I knew we were gonna have staff meetings after work,
早知道下班后要开这种破会议
I would've taken job at T.G.I. Friday's instead.
我就去矫情的星期五餐厅干活了
Over there, they roll fast and loose.
他们那，干活又快速，上床又迅速
Well, this is how I roll.
在我这，就得这样
Yeah, short and slow.
您哪样啊，又矮又呆吗
No, I roll Fast and Furious. Tokyo drift style.
不，我是速度与激♥情，还是东京漂移版的呢
Han, I'm starting to drift. Can we get to the point?
憨，我的注意力也开始"漂移"了，说重点吧
Max and I still have to get home and bake cupcakes for tomorrow.
我跟麦克斯还得回家烤明天的小蛋糕呢
We received so many excellent comments from customers tonight.
我们收到了来自顾客的许多宝贵意见
Okay, first comment.
好了，第一个意见
"Dark-haired waitress..." Hey!
"深色头发的服务生"。我哟
"was very rude." Hey!
"非常没礼貌"。我哟
Max, customers are giving their honest opinions about diner. We need to take it seriously.
麦克斯，这是顾客对餐馆的真实看法，我们得严肃对待
"I'd like to ride the blonde waitress like a tilt-a-whirl."
"我想跟金发服务生床战三百回合"
Shout out!
是我哟
Next comment. "Why does cashier wear earphones? I thought he was a DJ."
下一个意见。"为什么收银员戴着耳机啊，害我以为他是DJ"
Go, Earl, go, Earl ?
好样的，厄尔，好样的，厄尔
Holla!
完胜
Moving on. "This meatloaf tastes stale and dry."
下一条。"烘肉卷吃起来既不新鲜又干瘪瘪"
Yeah, Oleg yeah, Oleg.
干得好，奥列格，干得好，奥列格
It also says that cook could wear deodorant and shirt that covers armpit.
人家还建议，厨师喷点腋下除臭剂，穿点有袖的衣服挡挡臭味
This is on card?
人家真写上意见表了吗
Yes.
对
You are lying.
你撒谎
Yes.
对...
Remind me never to be a spy with Han.
跟憨搭档做间谍，死得更快哟
So this is how you tell me what you think of me?
所以你就这么对我提意见吗
You hide behind outdated method of feedback?
拿这种过时的意见卡当挡箭牌
What, I should've posted twit pic of my face like this?
不然是要推特发张，我这么捏鼻子的图吗
Maybe I will send you a twit pic of my meatloaf.
我也会回敬你一张我烘"鸡"卷的美照
Can you twits pick another time to do this?
你们俩白♥痴可以之后再吵吗
I've gotta go home.
我得回家了
I have to go home too...
我也得回家...
And cut the remaining sleeves off of all my shirts.
回家把所有衣服的袖子都剪掉
And then go buy more shirts.
然后再去买新衣服
And cut the sleeves off those shirts.
再把所有的袖子通通剪掉
You must wear sleeves.
你必须穿有袖的衣服上班
Do not tell me what to do.
老子爱穿啥穿啥
I was working here when you were still a dumpling on your father's chopstick.
老子刚来这上班的时候，你还在你爹的蛋蛋里游着呢
Now this is starting to sound like Earl time.
现在有厄尔时间的感觉了
Did it light? No.
点着了吗？没有
Try another one. The gas is on.
再试一次，瓦斯还开着呢
Why are we throwing fire at an oven?
为什么要对烤箱丢火柴啊
Is this a poor people game?
这是穷人的娱乐游戏吗
Yeah, it's called light the broken pilot light without blowing our faces off!
是啊，这叫"烤箱打火器坏掉，瞎点怕会毁容的悲催游戏"
This is ridiculous. My heart is pounding.
太蠢了吧，害人家小心肝怦怦跳
I didn't know baking cupcakes was an extreme sport.
现在才知道，烤小蛋糕也是种极限运动
It's like the Deadliest Batch.
就好比《致命烘培》
See? A slight hint of gas in the air makes everything funnier.
看到没，吸入少量外泄瓦斯会让你觉得什么事都好笑
Now there's too much gas.
现在外泄太多了
If we threw a math in there now, I'd be out a nose or a pair of eyebrows.
如果现在丢火柴，估计我的鼻子或眉毛就完蛋了
And I'm not living through that again.
我不要回归"无眉"的日子
Again?
回归
When I was a little girl, I was trying to make a Hungry Man dinner.
我小时候试图烤过一次冷冻晚餐包
And I lit the pilot light too soon and whoosh!
结果点火太快，火光一闪
No eyebrows.
眉毛没了
Had to draw them on in magic marker.
不得不用油性笔画眉毛
Only Mexican girls would talk to me.
结果只有粗眉的墨西哥女孩愿意跟我说话
Max, we have a cupcake business.
麦克斯，我们有生意要做
We have to tell the landlord we need a new oven.
必须让房东给我们换个新烤箱
We can't ask the landlord for a new oven.
我们不能跟房东要个新烤箱
Then he'll ask us stuff like "who are you?
不然他会问"你是谁"
why is your name not on the lease, and where's the rent?"
"你的名字怎么没在租约上，该交的房租呢"
Well, I'll buy us one.
好吧，我出钱买
Really? You're gonna buy us a whole oven?
是吗，你要给咱们买个新烤箱
We're so poor I have a sock that I refer to as my good sock
我穷的连丢失一只的那双袜子都能称它为"好的那双"呢
I've been saving something for an emergency,
我藏了点私货以备不时之需
Like a burst appendix or a first date bikini wax.
比如急性盲肠炎，或首次约会的除毛费
I knew it!
我就知道
You have a secret stash of your father's missing billions.
你老爸的亿万家财肯定被你私藏了不少
We're rich!
我们发达啦
Wait, it's other people's money.
等等，那都是别人的血汗钱
Yeah, but I didn't steal it. We're rich!
不过又不是我偷的，发达啦
They're my expensive rings.
这些是我的名贵戒指
So if these are your expensive rings,
如果这些才是你的名贵戒指
What's all that other stuff you wear?
那你平常戴的是啥
Cheaper copies. You never wear the good stuff out in public.
便宜复制品。才不会把名贵戒指戴出门呢
Got it, kind of like hiding the Banana republic, and wearing the Gap.
懂了，就像是高档潮牌留家中，平民潮牌穿出门
See how special?
看，多别致啊
They're all one-of-a-kind from
每个都是独一无二的
Thomas Aristotle Thomas. T.A.T. TAT.
托马斯·亚里斯多德·托马斯戒指，简称托托戒
What?
什么
Tat rings. You've never heard of TAT rings?
托托戒啊，你没听说过托托戒吗
Oh! TAT rings. No.
哇，托托戒，没听过
I guess it's the kind of thing that only people in the know know, you know?
我想这东西应该只有懂行的人才懂，懂吗
No.
不懂
Make all the jokes you want,
随你怎么笑话
but I only have to sell one of these, and I can get us a new oven.
不过，我只要卖掉其中一个，就够钱给我们买新烤箱了
Any ideas what kind we should get?
要什么款式，有想法吗
Uh, yeah, you're not the only one with a secret stash.
当然有，又不是只有你才藏有私货
It's the Bluestar.
这款叫蓝色之星
It's the TAT rings of ovens. In purple!
是烤箱界的托托戒啦！还是紫色的
That's right, I said purple.
没错，我就是说紫色的
It's the muscle car of ovens. It's bad-ass!
这是烤箱界的肌肉猛车，绝对霸气啊
It's so bad-ass when I do karaoke I change the lyrics from purple rain to purple range.
霸气到我去唱卡啦OK时，我把歌词"紫雨"都改成了"紫款"了
Great, we'll get this one.
很好，那就买这个吧
Uh, we can't buy that. It's too expensive.
买不起，太贵了
This is just something you fantasize about. It's kitchen porn.
这种梦幻烤箱只能意淫一下。就像厨具黄♥片
Fine. Tomorrow we'll go to the Cash for Gold store.
好吧。明天咱们就去当铺当戒指
And get a regular oven and get cookin'.
然后买个普通烤箱回家开烤烤哟
I think the funny gas is gone.
瓦斯散光了，害我冷场
Must be time. I'm going in.
时机已到，重赴沙场
Let me do it, my eyebrows need to waxed anyway.
让我来吧，我的眉毛也该修了
Hurry up! The gas is on! Throw the match in!
快点，瓦斯开着呢，丢火柴进去啊
Did it light? No, but my foot is on fire.
点着了吗？你成功点着了我的脚
I'll do it.
我来吧
You're good. You're good.
你眉毛还在。你眉毛还在
I'm sorry, but how much longer do we have to wait, to get cash for our gold?
抱歉，我们还需要等多久才能典当换现呢
I told you before I'm on the phone.
不是跟你说了我在讲电话嘛
Sit down, shut up, don't be rude.
坐下，闭嘴，有礼貌点
I thought she'd be nicer from her picture on the bus stop bench.
公车站广告牌上的她，看起来友善多了
Yeah, and where are the dollar signs in her eyes?
是啊，广告上她眼里的金钱符号去哪了
Let me see, which ring should I sell?
我看看，该卖哪个戒指呢
So much history in my lap.
我大腿上放着好多回忆啊
I don't even wanna tell you about the history in my lap.
我都懒得提我大腿上的"回忆"了
My father got me this one in London.
这个是我老爸在伦敦买给我的
I got this one in Paris to reward myself for not crying during the turbulence on the flight to Paris.
这是在巴黎买的，是为了奖励自己没有在飞往巴黎时遇到乱流而吓哭
My mom got me a Fresca when she hit me with her car once.
我妈有次开车误撞了我，只给我瓶汽水做补偿
I got this one when I was 18.
这个是我18岁的时候得到的
It was my very first tat. Okay, stop!
是我最早的托托戒。够了，别说了
This was a bad idea. Let's get out of here.
这是个馊主意，我们快走吧
I told you before. I'm on the phone!
我都说了，我在讲电话
Sit down, shut up, don't be rude.
坐下，闭嘴，有礼貌点
I'm only sitting down because look.
我坐下完全是因为
She has her hand on a gun that's strapped under the counter.
她手正握着柜台底下的枪呢
She is dying to plug us.
她巴不得立刻毙了我们
Max, what are you talking about? Why is this a bad idea?
麦克斯，你干嘛这么说？为什么这是馊主意呢
I don't want you sacrificing your precious rings, Frodo.
我不想牺牲你的宝贝戒指，佛罗多
Because if the business doesn't work out, it'll be my fault you have nothing.
万一哪天生意失败了，我就得为你失去的回忆负责
And call me selfish, the only life I wanna ruin is my own.
就当我自私吧，我唯一想毁掉的人生，是我自己的
Max, the business will go up and down. That's natural.
麦克斯，做生意本来就有起有落，那没有什么
But this ring is about more than the day to day of the business.
但这个戒指代表的，不只是生意上的
It's about us... and our future together.
还代表着我们，我们共同的未来
Yo, did you just ask me to marry you?
你刚是在跟我求婚吗
You could do worse.
你可以再损一点啊
Now, ladies, gold. Now.
现在，女士们，金子，交出来
Come on. It's only one ring.
没事的，只是一个戒指而已
And when it comes to us, I'm in this for the long haul.
无论何事，我都想与你做出长远的打算
Or until this lady shoots us.
或直到她毙了我们的那一刻吧
Hi, I'm here to... Come on! Let's go.
你好，我是来... 快点，别废话
Don't push me I'm out of nicorette.
别老催我，我戒烟口香糖吃完了
Well, you're all business, aren't you? I can respect that.
很好，您只谈生意是吧。我尊重您这点
I'd like to exchange a TAT ring.
我想拿个托托戒换点钱
I've never heard of a TAT ring.
没听过什么托托戒
Thomas Aristotle Thomas? World-famous designer?
托马斯·亚里斯多德·托马斯？世界知名设计师啊
Yeah, talk down to me. That'll make the price better.
继续鄙视我啊，我肯定给你个"好"价钱
All right, I'll weight it.
好吧，我秤个重
What's that smell? Is someone making soup in the back?
什么味道啊？有人在后面煮汤吗
None of your business.
少管闲事
I will give you $275.
我可以给你275块
It's worth $2,500.
这戒指价值2500块呢
Where? In 2005?
哪里啊，猴年马月的价了吧
You're just taking advantage of people, because the world economy is crashing.
你根本就是在占人便宜，靠着经济不景气来打劫我们
It's called Cash for Gold, not sympathy for flat chicks.
我们是当铺，不是平胸妞救济所
You know what? This is inappropriate.
到此为止，我受够了
All right, I'd like to see your business license.
我要求看你们的营业许可证
Maybe I'll make a call to the Chamber of Commerce.
没准我会打个电话给商会检举你们
Oh, you will, huh? Duck! Here comes the gun!
是吗，悍妹子。蹲下，她要掏枪了
Maybe I'll make a call to my boys in the back.
那我也向后面的人检举你们好了
Sal! Richard!
萨尔，理查
Oh, hello.
你们好啊
Let's get out of here.
咱们快跑吧
Are you sure? Because I'm kinda feeling Richard.
真的吗，我还蛮想跟理查"大战"的
Max, I was just in the ladies' room, and I had a thought.
麦克斯，我刚去厕所时，突然冒出个想法
Why am I doing my lipstick in a mirror that says "Die Carlos"
为什么要在写着"卡洛斯去死"的镜子前画口红吗
I know how to get the full value of the ring.
我想到怎么拿回戒指全价的方法了
We just have to take it to the store where they sell it, and return it.
我们只需要拿回去原店，退款就行了
Uh, and why didn't that occur to you before?
你怎么没一开始就想到呢
'Cause I don't have the receipt.
因为我没留收据
And I bought it three years ago...from another store... in another country.
而且我是三年前买的，在别的国家...别家店
The customer asked for crust off of a turkey club.
顾客说火鸡总会三明治要去边
Did they say that or is this something you say that they said?
是顾客说的，还是你说是顾客说的
They said it.
是顾客说的
But I say I see "screw the boss" sleeveless tee.
但要我说的话，有人还穿着"老板去死"的无袖衫呢
I'm sorry, someone call Ripley's.
来人啊，快打电话给奇人异事博物馆
There is a small mouse speaking.
这有只会说话的小老鼠
And I bet for sure it comes with stinky armpits.
馆里还有腋下超臭男呢
Why don't you see for yourself, Ratatouille?
想闻"香"一下吗，料理鼠王
I've gotta go. Fight's starting.
我先闪了，要开打了
You are stinky.
你臭爆了
So stinky my mother in Korea called me and said, "What is that smell?"
臭到我远在韩国的老妈都打给我问"那是什么臭味儿啊"
I am surprised you're upset by man smell.
你居然不喜欢男人味
Most women like you enjoy it.
大多数像你这样的娘们都爱死了
Yo, Max, I got 20 bucks on Han. He's scrappy.
麦克斯，我下20块赌憨赢。他，爱吵又好斗
Your English is terrible.
你的英语烂爆了
My English is less terrible than your terrible English.
我的英语再烂也比你的烂英语强
What? I couldn't understand a word you said.
啥，我听不懂你说啥呢
What? So sorry I couldn't understand a word you said.
啥，真抱歉我也听不懂你说啥
Excuse me, regular-sized people.
抱歉，正常大小的人们
I am on break until he apologizes.
除非他道歉，否则老子坚决不开工
I think the round's over. I couldn't understand a word they said.
本回合结束。我听不懂他俩说的"英语"
He needs to apologize. I'm the boss.
该道歉的人是他，我可是老板
Don't let him get to you, Han.
你别把他的话放在心上，憨
Every woman knows size doesn't matter.
女人都知道，不在"大小"，只在技巧
I like your shirt.
我喜欢你这衣服
Reminds me of the side of the van I lost my virginity in.
我失去童贞的那台货车上有这喷漆
That little man disrespect me.
那"小"人侮辱我
He insult my food, my English, my "hyjane."
他侮辱我的食物，我的英语，我的卫"牲"
Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?
我能做什么让你开心起来吗
A hug would help.
给我个拥抱吧
If I hug you, will you go back to work?
如果我抱你，你会乖乖开工吗
Yes.
会
Two-second hug. I'm going in.
两秒抱抱，我来也
How did you do that? Your hands never left my back.
你怎么办到的，你双手都没离开过我的后背
I am like David Blaine of zippers.
我是解拉链界的大卫布莱恩
I was trying to cheer you up.
我只是想让你开心起来
You did.
我是开心"起"来了呀
Wow, it's so surreal being back here.
回到这里的感觉好不真实呀
I grew up here. It was like camp for me.
我在这长大，这就是我的成长营地
I learned who all the best designers were,
我在这学到了谁是最好的设计师
how to color coordinate, how to ride a bike.
怎么配色，怎么骑自行车
They let you ride a bike here?
他们还让你在这骑自行车啊
Bitch, I owned this piece.
骚妹，这里可是我地盘呢
If there's not an iguana in here, this place is stupid.
这柜子里要是没大蜥蜴，这地方就烂爆了
Oh, my God.
天啊
They are such gorgeous TAT rings.
这些托托戒好美啊
Thanks! Hate you! So jealous!
谢谢。真讨厌你，好嫉妒啊
Thanks! Bye!
谢谢。再见啦
Seeing you in your natural habitat is truly disturbing.
看你在你的自然栖息地真让人不舒服
Hi! Can I help you?
你好，有何能为您效劳吗
Hi! I'd like to return a ring I got as a present here.
你好，我想要退回收到的托托戒礼物
TAT rings are so amazing.
托托戒真是太迷人了
I can't believe you want to return it.
真不敢相信你居然想退掉
Well, this one's from a guy I'm no longer with,
这是我的前男友送的
So it's painful to even look at.
看到它就会勾起伤心往事
I understand.
我明白
But I couldn't take it back without a receipt.
可如果没收据，我们不能退款
The thing is he used to hit her.
其实是因为，他过去老打她
Max! You did not!
麦克斯，你不是吧
Caroline, it's not your fault.
卡洛琳，这又不是你的错
That's awful.
太坏了吧
I understand why you wouldn't want this ring.
我明白你为什么会想退掉
I'm sure there's something I can do.
我尽量帮帮你吧
It's not our fault. I mean...Your fault.
被打的确不是我们的错，不，你的错
Caroline Channing?
卡洛琳·钱宁
Jeffrey!
杰佛瑞
Surprised to see me working here?
看到我在这工作，惊讶吧
Well, I got fired from that other store whose name I will never mention again,
因为去年的"烟屁♥股事件"，我被另一家店炒鱿鱼了
after last year's cigarette butt incident.
他们的名字我不想再提
I'm so sorry.
真的很对不起
I had no idea those menthol slim 100s were yours.
我不知道那些薄荷女烟屁♥股是你丢的
I just thought so many butts on the ground outside the store was gross, so I said something.
我当时只觉得店门口有这么多烟屁♥股很不雅观，就随口说了一下
Well, that one comment from the great Caroline Channing.
是啊，卡洛琳·钱宁公主的随口一说
About those butts fired my little butt.
就害我的屁♥股因为烟屁♥股给踹出门了
You'd be happy to know that I quite smoking after you got me fired. Couldn't afford it.
你害我被炒鱿鱼后，我就戒烟了。你很开心吧，因为我买不起烟了
I also couldn't afford my gym membership,
我也供不起我的健身房会员了
which is why my fired little butt got massive,
所以我被人踹出去的翘臀变成肥臀
why no one wanted to date me, and why I spent gay pride alone.
结果没人约我，连去同志大游♥行都是独身前往
Fortunately, I wound up working here.
幸好，我最终在这里找到了工作
Yeah, it all worked out. Your butt looks tight.
是啊，守得云开见月明，你的屁♥股也紧实了
It's halfway there.
没以前的一半呢
So I got the price on the ring.
我查到了戒指的价钱了
You're buying a ring? A TAT ring?
你要买戒指吗，买托托戒啊
Actually, I'm returning.
事实上，我是来退货的
Oh, can I see the receipt?
我能看一下收据吗
As manager of the jewelry department,
作为珠宝首饰部门的经理
I couldn't possibly return a ring that you bought.
我不能不看收据，就让你退一个
At least three years ago without a receipt.
起码买了三年的戒指
You wouldn't want me to lose my job again, would you?
你也不想害我再次被炒鱿鱼，对吧
I got this, Donna.
我来处理，多娜
And so sorry to hear about your father being a criminal, and you being penniless and all that ugliness.
对于你爸爸锒铛入狱，以及你身无分文这类的惨事呢，我深感遗憾
But it is kinda karma.
这也算是因果循环吧
You are where you are now, and I'm back on top.
我重新攻顶俯视跌落谷底的你
Look, Jeffrey, I know we just met, but there's no way you're a top.
杰佛瑞，虽然是初次见面，但你想"攻"顶是不可能的事
Now what are we gonna do?
我们现在该怎么办呢
We should hunt down that super fake jealous lady who hates you.
应该去找刚才嫉妒你的那个做作女
Maybe she'll buy one.
说不定她会愿意买
Max, that's brilliant.
麦克斯，妙计啊
If anybody's gonna buy a TAT ring, they're already in the store.
愿意买托托戒的人早就都在这店里了
We can have a pop-up sale!
我们可以举办个快闪拍卖
A pop-up sale?
快闪拍卖是什么
You don't know what a pop-up sale is?
你不知道什么是快闪拍卖吗
You didn't know what a pilot light was.
你还不知道什么是打火器呢
It's the new trend.
是一种新潮流
Mini stores pop up and sell stuff, then they're gone.
小店快闪出现，捞一笔，然后走人
That's not a new trend.
这算什么新潮流啊
Drug dealers have been doing that for years.
八百年前毒贩子就这么干了
One, two, three, four, five.
一，二，三，四，五
What are you doing, beautiful mind?
你干嘛呢，自闭小天才
I'm mentally scanning the layout of the store for security cameras.
我在脑海里算着店里的摄像头的位置
I knew coming here and not going to parks as a child would pay off.
小时候来这耍，不去公园玩果然有好处
Okay, there's only one place we could pull it off where there are no cameras. Where?
好吧，只有一个地方可行，那里没有摄像头。哪里
Pop-up sale in the ladies' room.
卫生间里有快闪拍卖哦
That's right, ma'am!
没错，女士
I said pop-up sale in the ladies' room.
我说的正是卫生间里有快闪拍卖
I don't do improv.
我临阵发挥无能
So did we sell the ring yet?
戒指成功卖掉了吗
Those women weren't our target customers.
刚那些女人不是我们的目标客户
We're looking for a very specific type.
我们要的客户群是很明确的
Too much style and money to burn.
外表浮夸，钱包鼓鼓
Hold the elevator! Honey! and I love New York!
别关电梯门，小宝贝，我爱死纽约了
Pop-up sale in the ladies' room.
卫生间有快闪拍卖哦
I'll take you in two at a time, let me go check with my associate.
我一次会带两个人进去看货，让我先跟我助手确认一下
And I'll be right back for Adin and Lublubah.
然后就回来带安丁和露布鲁巴进去
Such a good memory.
记忆力不错
Hard to forget such beautiful names.
如此美丽的名字，过耳难忘
Ready?
准备好了吗
We have a pooper in stall two.
二号间里有人在拉屎
Who shops and plops? I mean, really.
谁出门逛街还拉屎啊，有没有搞错
Trust me, I smell the match. Classic shop and plop cover-up.
真的，我闻到火柴味了。经♥典逛街拉屎除臭妙招
Where are the two Kit Kats we got from the vending machine?
刚贩卖机买来的巧克力棒呢
I told you I was hungry.
跟你说了我很饿
Arabic women expect a gift when they buy something.
阿♥拉♥伯女人购物♥习惯收赠品
Well, stall number two will probably supply a little present.
或许能借二号间的蜡烛一用
Hi, are you here for the pop-up sale?
你也是来参加快闪拍卖的吗
No, I just have to pee. Oh, geez.
不是，我是来尿尿的。我的老天啊
Come on, don't waste my time!
快去吧，别浪费我时间
One stall's open... in and out! Running a business!
一号间空着呢，要上快上，我们要做生意呢
That woman pushed ahead of us. Do not sell her my TAT ring.
那女人插队，千万别把戒指卖给她
It's fun. You're here to pick up. She's here to drop off.
真有意思，你是来取货，她是来"泄"货
Open the shop.
开店咯
We're a good team. You set 'em up, I knock 'em down.
我们是黄金搭档啊，你负责下套，我负责"宰"人
Why is...? I don't know, it just is.
怎么会这样... 我也不知道，就是那样
Are you here for the pop-up sale?
你们是来参加快闪拍卖的吗
A pop-sale in the bathroom? So lame. So lame.
在厕所搞快闪拍卖？太逊了。超逊的
Caroline? Jen, Robin!
卡洛琳？珍，罗宾
Oh, my God.Oh, my God.
天啊，我的天啊
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
天啊，我的老天爷哟
Excuse me. When will pop-up sale start?
抱歉，快闪拍卖什么时候开始
We have lunch reservations for five at Four Seasons at 3:00.
我们三点在四季酒店预约了午餐
Why are you asking me?
你怎么会问我呢
You two are doing pop-up sale, no?
不是你俩在搞快闪拍卖吗
No. I have nothing to do with this pop-up sale in the bathroom.
不是。我跟这个厕所快闪拍卖一点关系都没有
So lame. So lame.
太逊了，超逊的
So lame! So lame.
逊爆了。是很逊啊
Come to lunch with us.
跟我们一起共进午餐吧
Oh, I've already eaten.
我吃过了
Our treat. We are not taking no for an answer.
我们请客。你拒绝也没用
They're not taking no for an answer. Sell the ring.
她们不让我拒绝，把戒指都卖了吧
Where is she going? I thought you two were a team.
她去哪里，你俩不是搭档吗
Apparently not.
显然不是
So sorry. I got caught up in a hostage nicoise situation. How'd it go?
太对不起了。沙拉太美味，我走不掉。卖的怎么样
Did you get full price for the ring?
戒指有全价出♥售吗
Oh, do you know me?
哎哟，您认识我吗
Because I could've sworn you didn't know me.
我清楚记得你跟我是陌生人呢
My new friends Adin and Lablueballs thought it was weird that you just bailed on me.
我的新朋友安丁和露布鲁巴都纳闷你怎么突然抛下我走了
Max, I panicked in the moment.
麦克斯，我一时慌了神嘛
I didn't want those girls telling everyone that Caroline Channing was in a bathroom selling her jewelry.
我不想她们到处宣传说卡洛琳·钱宁在厕所里变卖首饰
I'm barely back on my feet after the whole scandal. I just couldn't bare it.
我才刚从我爸的丑闻中慢慢振作起来。再被人说，我就要受不住了
Here. I didn't sell them because I didn't buy the whole
给。我没卖掉戒指，因为一开始我就不相信
"in it for the long haul" thing from the beginning.
"你想和我一起做长远打算"的屁话
And I was right because I'm always right about people in the long haul.
我就知道，路遥知马力，日久见人心
Max, I'm talking to you.
麦克斯，我在跟你说话呢
It's cool. We don't need to talk.
不必，咱俩没啥可说的
Max, about the rings, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say.
麦克斯，戒指的事情是我对不起你。我不知道该说什么了
You don't need to say anything.
你什么都不必说
You already said a lot of words about the future and us,
有关我们的未来之类的话，你说得够多了
and then next thing I know, you were "oh, my god!" off to lunch with your friends.
我还言犹在耳，你一句"我的老天啊"，就丢下我，跟朋友吃饭去了
Max, I am in this for the long haul.
麦克斯，我真的想跟你做长远的打算
Isn't there anything I can say to convince you of that?
我要怎么说你才能相信我啊
Nope. And it's fine. It's not you, it's me.
不用说，无所谓了。跟你无关，是我的问题
I'm the idiot who actually believed for a minute that we had a future.
怪我自己居然相信我们会有未来
But it's ok, we'll just keep getting by like we are, for the short haul. Cool?
没事的，像现在这样走一步算一步就好，好吗？
Max.
麦克斯
What's that smell?
什么味道？
I'm making cupcakes.
我在做小蛋糕
You lit the pilot light?
你点着烤箱了？
Didn't have to. Look.
不需要，你看
No way! The Bluestar in purple? What the... how did it get...
不是吧，紫色的蓝色之星？我靠...它怎么会
How can... how could you afford that? You sold your TAT?
怎么会...你怎么买得起的啊？你把戒指卖掉了？
Sold them all. Spent it on the oven, next-day delivery fee and installation.
全卖掉了。拿来买了烤箱，请人隔天送货到府以及安装
That woman gave you a better price?
当铺的女人舍得给你好点价钱吗
No, she pulled a gun on me.
没有，她还拿枪威胁我了
So I went to every gold store in Brooklyn,
所以我走遍布鲁克林的当铺
leveraged their offers against each other until I got enough to buy the Bluestar.
比较了它们的开价后，终于凑够了钱买蓝色之星
You didn't have to do that.
你不需要这么做
After what I did, there were no more words. Only ovens.
在我做了那样的事情之后，多说无益。只有烤箱能代表我的心
And our future means more to me than rings from my past.
我们的未来比过去的那些戒指更重要
I told you, I'm in this for the long haul.
我说了，我要跟你做长远的打算
For the record, I hated lunch with those girls.
顺带一提，我讨厌死跟那俩女的吃饭了
I'd rather split a Kit Kat in a bathroom with you any day.
我宁愿跟你在卫生间里分吃巧克力棒
I'm sorry I wasn't listening. I was staring at my new boyfriend over there.
抱歉，我没在听。我刚盯着我的新男友走神了
I wanna make out with it! Ooh. Ow! Hot!
我要跟他亲热。好烫
There's not a ding!
不是真会"叮"一声吧
There's a ding. My rings bought a ding.
的确会"叮"，我的戒指买了个"叮"
You wanna hug me, don't you?
你想拥抱我，对吧
Yeah.
是啦
But you're not gonna.
可你不会来抱。
Yes, I am.
我会
If you unzip my shirt, I'm gonna be pissed!
你要敢拉开老娘拉链，我打死你
Impressed, but pissed.
先夸你，再打你