展览会的邀请函

Wow! Bummer, dude. You have a time machine?
靠，太倒霉了吧，兄台。你有台时光机
And somehow, it got programmed to this crap diner?
却把自己传送到这间破烂餐厅
I must admit, I am quite taken with steampunk.
我承认，我是挺迷蒸汽朋克的。
Oh, steampunk, right. I remember that trend.
蒸汽朋克啊，我记得啊
It happened for, like, ten seconds back in 2000 and-are-you-kidding-me?
那玩意儿在2000年的"你当我白♥痴啊"时代流行过十秒钟
Dude, seriously, you're sitting in a public place tap-tap-tapping on an oldie typewriter?
兄台，说真的，坐在公共场合里在老式打字机上敲敲打打
What are you? In the league of extraordinarily pretentious gentlemen?
你以为你谁啊？超装逼联♥盟的参赛选手吗
Aren't you being a little aggressive?
你说话有点太咄咄逼人了吧
Yup. That's how people are here in the present where we live.
没错。我们"当代人"都这么说话
But don't get me wrong. I'd like to go back in time, too.
你别误会我。我也想要穿梭时空呢
Maybe stop 9/11 or that creep who had sex on my shoe, but I can't.
去阻止911或那乱"射"在我鞋上的变态，可我没办法啊
Present? Where's that uniform from? From like, 1998?
什么当代啊，瞧你那身制服。1998年买的吗
Oh, stop, or I'm going to have to shoot you with a smith And Wesson. I'm currently packing in my bloomers.
再乱说，我就要用我的威森枪崩了你啦。枪就藏在我的灯笼裤里哦
I'll go get thee a menu, my good man.
吾去给汝拿份菜单吧
Attention, everyone. Max and I have a little late-night treat for you.
大伙们，注意啦。我跟麦克斯有深夜小礼物要给你们
Don't say it all excited like that. Now when it's not drugs, Earl's going to be pissed.
别用这种兴奋的语气说好吗。你又不是给毒品，厄尔会失望得发火的
You are invited to a very important taste-test of Max's homemade cupcakes.
你们获邀参加万分重要的麦克斯自制小蛋糕品尝会
Okay, but I will have only one.
好的，不过我只吃一个哦
When I get a tummy, single ladies call me Buddha and rub me for luck.
我一有小肚腩，单身女郎会叫我弥勒佛，还摸我肚皮求好运
I gotta watch out, too.
我也得小心
Last time I had Max's chocolate espresso cupcake just before going home,
上次我回家前，吃了一个麦克斯的黑咖啡小蛋糕
I was awake till 5:00 A.M., hand washing all my thongs.
结果早上5点都睡不着，手洗了一夜的丁字裤
Thongs? Earl, you devil.
丁字裤啊，你个小坏蛋
That's right, just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there's not swing in the sling.
别看我头顶花白，白发胜雪，裤裆里还是龙精虎猛，翻江倒海呢
Oh, Caroline, darling. Can you go back over there? I forgot my racing form.
卡洛琳，亲爱的，你能去我座位帮我拿赛马报吗
Oh, horse racing? It reminds me of Chestnut. Max... Chestnut.
赛马啊，害我好想念栗宝。麦克斯，小栗宝
What's with the sad face? Your horse is living it up at a fancy stable nearby.
你装个屁哭脸啊。你的马就住在附近的豪华马厩
Not gone to the great stud farm in the sky.
又不是住在天国的种马场
Did someone say "stud farm"? My fee is $10 a quart or $15 if you want a boy.
有人提到"种马场"吗？我的精每0.9升10块，包生男的15块
Wow. You bounced back from your Sophie breakup pretty quick.
不错啊。看来你已经走出分手的阴霾了
It was not a real breakup. I will have her very soon again.
我们不是真分手。她很快又会回到我身边
Right now, I lay low and wait in bushes like determined jungle cat.
现阶段，我就淡定地躲在草丛，如同盯上猎物的猎豹
Or a rapist.
是盯上猎物的强♥奸犯吧
Racing forms, here you go.
给，赛马报
Earl, maybe some time you will take me out to the track with you.
厄尔，找机会你也带我去马场吧
I used to ride horses all the time in Korea.
我以前在韩国时，常常骑马呢
The mechanical ones for a quarter in front of supermarkets?
超市外那种一块钱一次的电动小马吗
Actually, Max, I'm a very good rider. In fact, I was training to be a jockey, but was too short.
麦克斯，我可是很厉害的骑师。我受过赛马骑师的训练呢，可惜我身高不够高too short to be a jockey? That's a hard hit, my man.
矮到当不了骑师吗？这也太悲催了吧，阿憨
Han, I had no idea you loved horses, too. Why didn't you ever say anything?
阿憨，真没想到你也爱马。怎么都没听你提过啊
Well, why didn't you ever ask about any of my interests?
那你怎么不问问我有什么兴趣呢
I'll tell you why. Because all you ever talk about is "our cupcake business, our cupcake business."
我来告诉你原因。因为你开口闭口永远都是"我们的小蛋糕生意如何如何"
Doesn't your CD have other tracks?
你这张光盘就没别的曲子了吗
Anyway, our cupcake business has a very important meeting tomorrow with Paul Platt, the party planner.
话说，我们的小蛋糕生意明天有场十分重要的会面呢，要去见派对大师，保罗·普拉特
I know a party planner, too. He sells J.Lo. and Salma Hayek pinatas off back of truck for Cinco de Mayo.
我也认识个派对大师。他在墨西哥独立日时在街上卖明星头像的彩陶罐
Awesome. Put me down for a Hayek. More storage space for candy.
我要一个海耶克头像的罐子。有额外空间，装糖方便
Well, our party planner is the it guy in Manhattan.
我们要见的可是曼哈顿的大红人
And tomorrow, Max and I are doing a tasting for him at his office.
明天我要跟麦克斯带小蛋糕，去他办公室给他品尝
How can someone be too short to be a jockey? Isn't that the whole point?
怎么有人能矮到不能当马师啊？马师不就得是矮子吗？
Are you all right, Max? I got here as fast as I could.
麦克斯，你没事吧？我尽快赶来了
Caroline texted me to hurry over
卡洛琳发短信叫我快来
because you didn't know you were pregnant, and you were giving birth over toilet.
说你不知道自己怀孕，还准备要在厕所生孩子
So I grabbed my plunger and ran!
我抓着马桶吸就冲来了
That is insane. I never texted that.
太夸张了吧，我没发过这短信啊
No, I did, when I stole your phone. I needed a reason to get Sophie over here.
我发的，我刚偷用了你的手机。我要拐苏菲过来得有理由嘛
I can't believe she believed it.
我不敢相信她会信你的屁话
Oh, come on, Max. Giving birth over toilet? That is very you.
麦克斯，在厕所里生娃。十足你的风格
Now that you are here, Sophie, sit. I want to tell you something important.
苏菲，既然你都来了，坐吧。我想跟你说一件重要的事
Well, you can forget that. There's no way I'm going to stay.
你就算了吧。我才不会留下来呢
A cupcake party? Oh, look, and this one even has a pretzel in it.
有小蛋糕派对啊？这一个上面还有椒盐卷饼呢
Yup, that's our "salty n' spice" for our more adventurous customers.
那是我们的"咸配香料"口味给喜爱新奇口味的顾客
Also for the uptight white people,
而保守的白人顾客呢
we have the very, very vanilla which is... big surprise... my favorite.
我们也做了非常传统的香草口味。毫无意外...这也是我最爱的口味
And this is our beer-batter maple bacon spring break cupcake.
这是酒混面粉加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕
That's for stoners, and big surprise, my favorite.
给瘾君子的，比如我的最爱啦
We can only take four flavors to represent our cupcake business.
我们只能选四个口味带去代表我们的小蛋糕店
See? Not one word ever about anyone else. I have a pet ferret, if anyone gives a damn.
你看，说话向来只提自己的事。有人在乎我有养只小雪貂吗。
Well, I have some big news I want to share with you all as well.
我也有大消息想要跟在座的各位分享
Sophie, that classy lady right over there... Mm, I like this one.
苏菲，也就是坐在那里的高贵仕女...我喜欢这个口味
She recently broke it off with me
她不久前刚与我分手
because she wanted to be with a man who had a dream and a drive.
理由是，她想跟一个有梦想，有冲劲的男人在一起
So I have bought a drive... A Lincoln town car.
所以我买了台"冲劲"。一台林肯豪华加长轿车
Yes, I have a new car service and slogan: "lie back and I will ride you till you tell me to stop."
没错，我现在当司机还有新标语，"放松坐好，你不喊停，我绝不停下"
So, Oleg, you now have a town car business? And Sophie, you rent town cars all the time.
奥列格，所以你现在要当轿车司机。而苏菲，你总是租加长轿车
Oh, oh, please. I mean, I love pizza, too, but that doesn't mean I have to marry PaPa John.
那又如何。我也喜欢吃披萨，难道我还得嫁给棒约翰的约翰先生吗
I was just thinking, you might want to come out back and take a look at the light-up makeup mirror on visors.
我刚在想，你可能会对我车上那面会发亮的化妆镜有兴趣呢
Light-up makeup mirror? Oh, I might be interested.
会发亮的化妆镜。感觉挺有意思啊
But not just you and I. Han will come as well.
不过我不要单独跟你去。阿憨也一起来吧。
Finally! Han is getting invited to something. Other than LinkedIn.
终于啊，有人邀请阿憨一起去玩。别人只邀我加入网站过。
So much for the taste test. It's fine.
品尝会就先到这里吧，不过没事
I know what's best for our cupcake business.
我知道怎么做对我们的小蛋糕生意最好
I do say that a lot, but I think it's kind of charming. I'll go get our coats.
我的确是很常提到呢，但我觉得也挺迷人的。我去拿我们的外套吧。
Mm, mm, mm. Look at you. I must say, I'm impressed with how far you've come.
你看你。我不得不说，你的变化非常大
Well, you burn a few thousand cupcakes, you're bound to get better.
烤坏了几千个小蛋糕，总会熟能生巧的嘛。
Not just the cupcakes, Max. Look how far you've come.
不只是烤蛋糕技术啊，麦克斯。你人也成长了很多
When I think of that girl who came in here just looking to get by...
想当年，你只是个打工混日子，过一天是一天的人
Hey, and check you out now. Big, fancy meeting in Manhattan. Lordy lord!
瞧你现在。要去曼哈顿跟大人物面谈了，厉害啊
It's only a meeting, Earl.
厄尔，只是小面谈啦。
Maybe. But if you were one of these horses, I'd put all of my money on you, Max.
或许吧。可如果你是一匹赛马，我愿把毕生积蓄压在你身上呢。
Paul Platt parties. Please hold.
保罗·普拉特派对公司，请稍等
Poor kid. If I had that job, I'd be asking someone to please hold a gun to my head.
可怜的娃啊。如果我是他，我就会对人说，请拿枪毙了我吧
He's probably excited to be working for Paul Platt.
能为保罗·普拉特工作，他一定很兴奋
Look at all these magazines calling him the next Martha Stewart.
看看这些杂志都称他是下一代的玛莎·斯图尔特
Someday, we'll have articles about us.
有一天，杂志也会有我们的专题的
You know, pictures of you and me standing outside our country home.
还配上我们俩站在我们别墅外的照片
Hold on. We're rich and still living together?
等等。我们有钱后还得一起住啊
Okay, she's leaving. This is us.
好了，她要走了，轮到我们了
About time. Been sitting here so long my ass is asleep,
是该到我们了。坐等好久，我屁♥股都睡着了
which kind of goes against my theory that it won't quit.
但我是不会夹着屁♥股逃跑的
Hi, Paul's going to be a little longer.
保罗还有点事，请稍等
It's fine. It's just how much...
没关系，不过还...
Paul Platt parties, please hold. Paul Platt parties... How much longer...Please hold. Me or them?
保罗·普拉特派对公司，请稍等。保罗·普拉特派对公司，还得等...请稍等。我们还是他们？
I got the ass pins and needles. Max. What? We're on hold.
坐得姐屁♥股发麻。麦克斯。干嘛？反正没轮到我们
Have a seat. Five more minutes. Paul Platt parties.
请坐吧，再稍等五分钟。保罗·普拉特派对公司
The word "Party" at a party planner's? Little obvious.
派对公司墙上挂写着派对的画。脱裤子放屁嘛
Like me having art that says "will die alone."
跟我挂一幅"孤独终老"一样多余
Wait. I think this is Johnny's art. No way.
等等。不会吧，这是强尼画的
"No way" is right. Johnny's a nobody. Paul Platt wouldn't have a framed "Johnny" in his office.
当然不会，强尼只是小角色。保罗·普拉特才不屑挂强尼的画呢
Look, signed "Jpeg." That's his tag. Yo, what's the deal with this art?
你看这签名，写着电子图档哥呢。这画谁画的啊
It's a street artist. Everyone's getting really into him now.
一个街头艺术家，最近还挺火热的。
Oh, yeah? He was trying to get into me a few months ago.
是吗？几个月前他也想跟我"搞"得火热呢
It was more emotional than that.
其实是有故事的啦
He cheated on his girlfriend with her and then blew her off.
他搞外遇来找她，后来又把她甩了
It was really hard for us.
这事情伤我们挺深的。
And you thought me slapping my ass in front of him was inappropriate?
靠，我拍屁♥股不适当，你说这些话就适当啊。
Wow, Johnny made it. Well, good for him.
强尼成功啦。恭喜他
He's making it, we're making it... We're making it?
他平步青云，我们也快了。我们快成功个屁
I magic-markered over the scuffs on my boot,
我还得用油性笔给我的靴子补色
and we can't even get past the poor man's John Cusack over there.
而且我们连穷人版约翰·库萨克这一关都过不去
Max, we are making it. We've come a long way.
麦克斯，我们成功在望。我们度过了这么多难关
We haven't used Starbucks napkins for toilet paper in months.
我们都没用星巴克餐巾纸当厕纸好久了
And now, look where we are. We've got a meeting with Paul Platt.
你看，我们现在的进度。到现在，居然能有机会见保罗·普拉特
Say it, "we're making it." I'm serious. Say it, Max. We are making it.
快说，"我们成功在望"。我是认真的，你得说出口。我们成功在望
Okay, we're making it. Caroline channing. This is us!
好啦，我们成功在望。卡洛琳·钱宁。到我们了
Ahh. What, five more minutes?
这个嘛...又怎么了，再等五分钟吗
Monday at 4:00. Something came up.
突然有要事，改约周一下午4点了
Oh, okay. Well, Monday at 4:00. There's no Monday at 4:00.
好吧，周一下午4点。他不会见我们了，对吧
He said Monday at 4:00. Monday at 4:00, right?
他说了周一下午4点，没骗人吧
Absolutely. Monday at 4:00. There is no Monday at 4:00.
当然没有，周一下午4点见。他不会见你们了
I'm confused. Is there a Monday at 4:00?
我有点糊涂了。他到底要不要见我们呀
In the books, Monday at 4:00. Paul can't wait. There is no Monday at 4:00.
白纸黑字写着，周一下午4点，保罗等不及了。他压根没有要见你们
I don't understand. Are we coming in Monday at 4:00?
我搞糊涂了，我们是来还是不来啊
Absolutely. Paul's a big fan. Don't come in on Monday.
当然来啊，保罗很喜欢你们。周一别来了。
Can you please tell me what's going on?
你能解释一下到底怎么了吗
See, it's this news about your father being moved to a cushy white collar prison this week.
最近新闻在报导你老爸被转移到舒坦的高智慧罪犯监狱
Paul can't have anything to do with someone named Channing, 'cause everyone in New York is pissed.
保罗不敢跟叫"钱宁"的人扯上关系，毕竟全市都在不爽"钱宁"呢
Look at all that. It never stops. How much more of this do I have to take?
你看，我的过去阴魂不散。我还得再受多少折磨啊
So we'll see you on Monday! Don't come.
所以我们周一见吧，别来了。
I woke my ass up for this?
靠，早知道不叫我屁♥股起床了。
Mmm. This was delicious, Max. Here's a $20. Keep the change.
麦克斯，小蛋糕太好吃了。给你20块吧，不用找钱了
What are you doing, Sophie? You don't pay for the cupcakes.
苏菲，你这是干嘛？我不会收你小蛋糕钱的
No, take it for your business.
为了生意而收下吧
Ever since your big party planner meeting went bust,
你们跟派对大师的面谈失败后
I was worried that you two girls might form a joint suicide pact.
我就一直很担心你们会办一个自杀姐妹会
Nah, we're not that organized.
放心，我们没那种组织力
So how's Caroline today?
卡洛琳心情如何
She's handling it all better than I thought.
比我想象中的好多了
She's with her father's lawyer right now,
她去见她爸爸的代表律师了
trying to figure out the best time for her to go out to the prison to see him before he's moved.
想趁她老爸移监前找出一个好时机去探访他
Oh, that is my new phone.
是我的新手机
You know there's a phone stuck to that gay Furby, right?
你的基佬娃娃上还粘了支手机呢
Yes, this is from my favorite store on 14th street, Rhinestoned.
这是我去14街上，我最爱的店买来的呢，店名叫"人造钻石"
Oh, it's just a text from my driver. He's waiting out front.
是我司机发来的短信，他在楼下等了
Why don't you just invite Oleg inside?
直接叫奥列格上来不就好了吗
I'm not sure yet he deserves to come inside.
我还不确定他是否够格进来
Well, from what I heard, he's already come inside.
据我所知，他不是早够格"进入"了吗
Oh, Max, I love it when you're dirty!
麦克斯，我就爱听你说荤段子。
Hey, how'd it go?
怎么样了
Well, according to my father's lawyer, the prison is surrounded by so much press
根据我父亲的律师所说，监狱被太多媒体包围
that daddy doesn't want me to come out there and be exploited all over again.
老爸不想我出现，然后被媒体再度生吞活剥
Why is he still the only news story out there?
为啥就没有其他大新闻了啊
Well, the good news is, your hair is especially shiny today.
别气，好歹今天你的头发超闪闪动人啊
It is? Thanks, Sophie.
真的吗，谢了，苏菲
So try not to kill yourself.
听完就别想着自杀了哦
Well, if I didn't kill myself reading these in the car, I won't.
我在车上读这些信时，都没跑去死，现在也不会了
Hate mail. It was being held at my old P.O. Box.
怒骂信。这些全都寄到了我以前的邮箱
My father's lawyer picked it up for me.
我父亲的律师帮我收的信
Why didn't he just punch you in the face and call it a day?
他何不直接扁你一拳就算了
I know, it's like the end of Miracle on 34th street, only everyone's calling me a bitch.
对啊，这跟《34街的奇迹》的结局差不多，差别只是大家都叫我贱♥货
Oh, come on, not everyone is calling you a bitch. "Dear bitch, I hate you."
也不是大家都骂你贱♥货的吧。"贱♥货你好，我恨你"
"If I ever see you on the street, I will..."
"哪天让我在街上见到你，我一定...
shake your hand and wish you well, as you have been through so very much.
会跟你握手，然后祝福你平安，希望你能雨过天晴"
That is not what that says.
信上才不是这么写呢
It might be. It's hard to read his actual words, as they are written in blood.
也是有可能啊。他这血♥书字迹太潦草，什么内容都有可能啊。
Oh, look how fancy. This is not hate mail.
好华丽的信封，这不是怒骂信啊
No, this is invitation to Metropolitan Museum annual gala.
是邀请参加大都会博物馆的年度晚会
It is? This is my favorite social event in all of New York. I've gone every year since I was 18.
是吗？这是我在纽约最爱的社交活动了。18岁那年起，我每年都去了
It's a fashion ball at the museum of art... Yeah, I know what it is. I catered it last year.
这是在美术博物馆里的时尚舞会。我知道那是干嘛的。我去年去当过服务生呢。
Max, how weird. We were probably right in the very same room.
麦克斯，太巧了吧。没准去年我们就再同一个房间里
Then there's a good chance I spit in your drink.
那我很可能有往你饮料吐过口水哦
Not really, unless you were acting all prissy and demanding.
也不见得，除非你当时又霸道又烦人
There's a good chance you spit in my drink.
那还真有可能给饮料吐过口水。
Well, see? This is happy news.
你们看，还是有好消息的
No, as much as I want to, I can't go. Everybody hates me.
我是想去啊，可我去不了。大家都恨我
And much worse, I have nothing to wear,
更惨的是，我没礼服穿
and if you're gonna be hated, you better look damn good.
要当过街老鼠，也要当最美的老鼠
I give up. That invitation finally broke me.
我放弃，这邀请函是压倒我的最后一根稻草
Why are you pulling down your bed?
你干嘛把床拉下来啊
Because I don't have a door to slam. Hell, I don't even have a door!
因为我没有房门可以让我甩。我连门都没有
Everything's been taken away, Max...
什么东西都没了，麦克斯
My fortune, my business career, my social life, my sweet, sweet horse.
亿万家产，工作，亲朋好友，跟我最爱的小马
Okay, take a nap. You're upset. You have a good reason to be.
你还是去睡吧，你心情不好。你有心情不好的理由
A good reason? I say she has 200, 300 good reasons.
而且不止一个哟。她有足足2、300个理由呢
I mean, read these. These are like letters to the devil.
你也来读读。这些简直是死亡催命符
I'm just going to get in there and never get out. Close it up, Max. Put me in the wall.
我要上床，从此长赖不起。麦克斯，把我合上去，夹进墙吧
No, it's really hard to close it when you're in there. I've tried.
没办法，你躺在上面时合不上去。我早试过了
Look, I know it's not even remotely close to what you had before,
我知道现在跟你以前相比有着天壤之别
but we do have our cupcake business and our purple stove, and we do have $922.
可我们还有小蛋糕生意啊，还有紫色烤箱，还有922块的开店基金
And we're gonna make it. Wall me.
我们成功在望。夹，爆，我
Come on, all you need is a big, glamorous party.
你不就需要一个大派对让你崭露头角嘛
I mean, look at all the celebrities that are on the list
你看邀请名单上的名流
Martha Stewart, Justin Timberlake... Ooh, Hugh Jackman!
玛莎·斯图尔特，贾斯丁·汀布莱克，休·杰克曼！
Oh, I like to call him "Huge" Jackman, because I bet he has a big penis. Wall me.
我都喜欢叫他巨根·杰克曼，因为我猜他一定有"巨根"。夹，爆，我
Thank you, sir. Welcome home, buddy.
谢谢啦。欢迎回家啊，栗宝
As you can see, we haven't put the pool in yet. We'll get to it.
如你所见到的，我们还没弄好泳池。以后会弄的
Tree, grill, shovel... usual cast of characters.
树，烤炉，铲子，你的老朋友们都在
Now, I am going to take you in to her, but I should warn you.
我现在就带你去见她吧，不过我先警告你。
She hasn't been out of bed for two days,
她两天没下床了
and that means no tooth brushing and it's bad up in there.
她那两天没刷过牙的嘴，口气很惊人的
I'm pretty sure horses have a keen sense of smell, so just be prepared.
我猜你们马的嗅觉应该很好，所以你还是做好心理准备。
I missed you, too.
我也很想你啊，栗宝
Max, I'm trying to sleep. Take your boots off.
麦克斯，我在睡觉呢，脱鞋好吗
Caroline, I have something for you.
卡洛琳，我有东西要给你看哦
Go away. I'm dead. Jeez, and you said my breath was bad.
此人已死，有事烧纸。天啊，你还嫌我嘴臭
You have a visitor, someone you love.
你有个访客哦，你很爱他呢
Chestnut! Chestnut, hi, baby, hi. How did he get here?
栗宝，栗宝，宝贝你来啦。他怎么来的
I went to Peach and told her it was a matter of life and death and we had to have him back.
我去找了琵琪，跟她说人命关天，必须得把栗宝带回来。
And what, she just gave him back to you?
她就这么让你把他带走啊
Well, I did have to agree to come back and babysit one day a week for the rest of my life,
我还得同意我这一生每周都得去照看她的小孩一天
but hell, Chestnut's home.
随便啦，反正栗宝回来啦
Max, thank you so much. You brought me back to life.
麦克斯，谢谢你，你让我重获新生
Oh, my God, don't exhale on me.
求你了，别对我吐气好吗
Your breath is like you went down on a brussels sprout. Tip your head that way.
你的口气跟吃过大便似地。把你的头转走。
Chestnut, Chestnut.
栗宝，栗宝
Don't breathe on him either! His whole head is a nose. He can't handle that. Chestnut's home.
也别对他吐气好吗。他的鼻子占了头大半，你想熏死他啊。栗宝回家啦。
Han, I'm so excited. Did you hear my horse is back?
阿憨，我好开心啊。听说我的小栗宝回家的事了吗
This is not conversation. This is just the other thing you say.
你这不是找我聊天。你只是在对我宣布事情。
"My cupcake business, my horse, my horse, my cupcake business."
"我的小蛋糕生意，我的马，我的马，我的小蛋糕生意"
Well, in case anyone's interested, my ferret's name is Alvin.
以防有人想知道，我的宠物名字叫艾文。
And Alvin's telling his friends he has a pet named han.
艾文也告诉他的朋友，他的宠物名字叫阿憨
Hey, Earl. Long time, no see.
厄尔，好久不见啊
Well, well, well, Johnny. If it isn't the famous street artist.
哎哟，是强尼啊。传说中的那位街头画家。
Well, I'm hardly famous.
也没到传说中啦
You got that right. My remark was laced with sarcasm.
没错。我单纯是想讽刺你。
Can you tell Max I'm here?
能告诉麦克斯我来了吗
That depends. Are you still a two-timing bum?
不好说，你还是脚踏两船吗
That's his name, don't wear it out.
那是他的乳名，直呼不得
Hiya, slugger. Can you do me a favor and call Earl off?
好久不见啊，小猛女。能帮我让厄尔消停消停吗
I may be on day six of my p90x, but I'm in no shape to take on a heavyweight like him.
虽然我也勤于锻炼，但我是打不过他这种强大选手的。
It's okay, Earl, we're cool. Well, I am. He's just riding my fumes.
没事了，厄尔。他在姐身后吃尘呢
So, uh, where's your section? Counter. Hm, same ol', same ol'.
你管哪区呢？吧台，老样子啊，老样子。
Johnny's in the diner. Why is he here? It can't be to eat.
强尼来餐厅了。他来干嘛啊，肯定不是来吃东西
He's "made it." He eats "made it food" now.
人家成功了，只吃成功人士的食物
Well, obviously, he's here to see you.
他明显是来找你的
Or else he won the award for biggest lying jerk in New York, and this is the first stop on his press tour.
不然就是他赢了"纽约最佳爱情骗子奖"，餐厅是他巡回的第一站
Well, I don't know why he's here, but you better come with me.
我不知道他来干嘛，不过你最后还是陪着我吧。
He looks really good, so I'm not listening to a thing coming out of his pretty mouth.
他帅气逼人，我完全没听进他帅唇吐出的任何一句话。
Well, I was gonna ask what the specials were, but you know what?
本来想问你今天有什么特餐，不过还是算了。
Can I actually just get one of Max's homemade cupcakes?
我能就点一个麦克斯自制小蛋糕吗
Okay, which flavor? Surprise me.
行啊，什么口味？给我个惊喜
Kind of like how you surprised her with your girlfriend?
跟你有女朋友一样让麦克斯"惊喜"吗
Okay, I'm starting to get a vibe here, and that's why I came in,
好吧，我知道你们的意思了，我也是为了这事而来，
because I feel bad, the way things went down between us,
我心有愧疚，来为我们的不欢而散
and I came to say good-bye because I'm moving.
画下句点，和你道别，我很快就要搬走了
Oh, moving. to where? Manhattan.
搬走，搬去哪里啊？曼哈顿。
Manhattan? That hardly calls for a good-bye speech. It's over there.
曼哈顿啊？搬去那里还道个屁别啊。离得很近好吗
Yeah, I know, but it's a big change for me,
但搬过去就是两个世界了
and we're not going to be rolling in the same circles anymore, and I'm getting married... over there.
我们将不再是一个圈子的人，我也要去那边结婚了。
Well, at least you and your girlfriend worked it out.
起码你跟你那女朋友修成正果了
Actually, we broke up. This is someone I met a couple months ago.
其实我们分手了。我是要跟几个月前认识的另一个女人结婚
I was only watching his lips, but did they just say what I think they said?
我刚只读他的唇了，但他刚才说的话我没看错吧？
Well, there's your cupcake. That'll be $5. The price has gone up. Yeah, we're successful now.
给，你要的小蛋糕，5块钱。没错，涨价了，我们现在也是成功人士了
In fact, we may be working with Martha Stewart. Caroline knows her from, you know, before.
我们可能要跟家政女皇合作了呢。卡洛琳以前跟她有些关系
We're gonna talk it over with her the met gala ball at that Caroline got invited to.
卡洛琳获邀去博物馆的年度晚会，我们会在那里跟她详谈
Martha's on the committee. Caroline goes every year. Not a big deal.
玛莎是委员会的人，而卡洛琳也年年出席。小事一桩啦
My first time. Not a big deal either.
虽然我是第一次，不过也没啥啦
In fact, none of it's a big deal,
说实在的，全都没什么嘛
just two girls who are making it but who choose to stay in Brooklyn 'cause we're cool.
不过就是两个成功在望的姑娘，因为个性帅气，所以留在布鲁克林奋斗嘛。
That's awesome, Max. That's awesome.
恭喜你啊，麦克斯，真心恭喜。
It's just funny, because whenever I think of you, I think of you in this diner in that uniform.
你知道吗，每当我想起你时，总是浮现你在这餐厅穿着制服的画面
In a good way. You want money now?
不是贬低你哦。你要收钱吗
Yeah. It's business. It's not like we had a relationship or anything.
是啊，在商言商嘛。我们又不是在一起或什么的
In fact, you can pay Caroline. She's the money. I'm the artist.
其实你还是付给卡洛琳吧。她管账，我管创作
You know, I'm doing pretty well as an artist myself. I've been selling a lot of my stuff.
我的创作生涯最近也挺一帆风顺呢。卖了不少我的作品。
Really? We hadn't heard. And there's your cupcake.
是吗，没听说过。你要的小蛋糕
In case you didn't notice, that container's to go. Got it.
放在"外带"盒子里了，懂意思吧。懂了。
He's gone. I got rid of him. Max? What are you doing?
他走了，我把他撵走了。麦克斯？你在干嘛呢？
Punching cheesecakes. It's my version of going to bed for two days.
捶起司蛋糕。你不爽就睡两天，我不爽就捶两个
Are you more upset about the marriage thing or the uniform thing?
你比较气婚事还是气制服的事啊
Oh, this isn't about Johnny. I'm mad at the cheesecakes.
跟他无关，我就气这些起司蛋糕
They were supposed to have cherries on top, and I wanted cherries!
不是应该有樱桃在上面的吗，老娘要樱桃！
Why not me? Okay, maybe it's half no cherries, half Johnny.
为什么不是我？好吧，一半是气樱桃，一半气强尼
Nothing ever does work out for us.
我们从没一帆风顺过
And then I hear myself saying all that ridiculous stuff about us talking to Martha Stewart at the gala.
然后听到自己瞎扯的那些跟家政女皇合作的事情
I mean, what was that? It's insane.
那简直就是痴人说梦嘛
Is it? Wait, seriously, is it?
是吗？说真的，真是痴人说梦吗
Or is it just insane enough to be genius? Max, we have the invitation. She'll be there.
还是那其实是大智若愚呢。麦克斯，我们有邀请函，她又会在场
Why are we wasting our time with Paul Platt when we can meet the real thing?
我们干嘛浪费时间找保罗啊，玛莎才是真正的风云人物
We can take Martha our best cupcake, explain our situation, and maybe... maybe she'll talk to us.
带我们最好吃的小蛋糕给玛莎，解释我们的情况，说不定她会愿意给我们个机会。
I mean, she was a girl with a dream once, too, and she certainly understands hard times.
她也是一步一步爬上来的嘛，想必她能了解谷底奋战的心情。
You are talking about us stalking Martha Stewart.
是要我们去跟踪玛莎·斯图尔特吗
I am talking about us stalking Martha Stewart!
没错，就是这样
I even have my gorgeous Judith leiber jeweled cupcake purse to smuggle the cupcake in. It's perfect.
我还有个小蛋糕造型的名牌包包，来偷带小蛋糕进去，简直是天造地设啊
I knew there was a reason I took that from the townhouse.
把那个包偷出来果然是冥冥中的安排啊
Great, you have a cupcake and a cupcake purse.
太好了，我们有蛋糕跟蛋糕包
What else are we gonna wear to the ball, Cinderella?
那我们该穿什么去舞会呢，灰姑娘
Are the rats in the alley gonna whip us up some ball gowns?
难道防火巷里的老鼠会帮我们织礼服吗
I mean, it's not exactly like we have a fairy godmother.
我们又没有个神仙教母
Hey, look, girls! I got myself a crown and a wand at Rhinestoned.
姑娘们！我在我最爱的店里买了皇冠跟魔棒呢
I'll have the soup in my booth.
把汤送来我的卡座吧
Well, this is as close to a fairytale as you and I are ever gonna get, so what the hell?
反正这估计是我们这辈子最接近美梦成真的时刻了，那就做吧
Max, does that mean we're gonna find a way to go to the ball?
麦克斯，就是说我们要想办法混进舞会吗
Oh, yeah. Get your cupcake on, 'cause we're gonna get balled.
是啊，备妥小蛋糕吧，要开始"混入舞会大作战"啦。