旅行癖（2018）

-好吧 -但你应该去看 一定要
- OK. - But you should, definitely.
你一定要去 但我绝对不应该 该死
You should definitely... But I definitely shouldn't. Oh, fuck.
没事 我可以打电♥话♥叫我姐姐来
It's OK. I can just call my sister.
我觉得我可能爱上我最好的朋友了
I think I might be in love with my best friend.
可不是嘛
Yeah, no shit.
汤姆 这不是一场约会
Tom, this isn't a date.
记得问她《签名商人》里的情节
Make sure you ask her about that bit in Autograph Man.
好了 我必须要去... 对不起
OK. I'm going to have to... Sorry, I'm so sorry.
给你点了一杯艳星马天尼
Got you a pornstar martini.
欢乐时段 买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥
Happy Hour, so it's two for one.
真优♥惠♥
Bargain.
干杯
Cheers.
我们...
And we're...
我们确定要这么做了是吗
We're sure about this, are we?
我觉得是
I'd say so.
我们就是来这为一个可疑的原因筹款而已
All we're here to do is raise some money for a questionable cause,
跟别人一样
same as everyone else.
♪ BGM: Need You Tonight - INXS ♪
回到80年代
回到80年代
大家晚上好 热烈欢迎你们的到来
So, hello. Good evening, and a very warm welcome to you all.
以防你们有些人不认识我
For those of you who don't know me,
我叫珍妮特·马♥勒♥布 我是...
my name is Janet Malherbe and I'm the, er...
我是保罗·安德森学校的副校长
I'm the...Deputy Head here at Paul Anderson.
同时也是...
And also the...
负责今晚精彩活动的
I chair the committee responsible for
委员会的主席
tonight's wonderful event.
劳拉 我结过婚
Laura, I was married.
我非常爱我的妻子
And I really fucking loved her.
我也希望能对你说我爱你
And I feel like I want to be able to say that to you.
但还有另一个问题 而且
But then there's this other thing as well. And...
我担心如果我说了 你会...
I'm worried that if I... If I say it, you're going to...
她自杀了
She killed herself.
我不知道
And I don't know.
有时我会很想她
I miss her sometimes.
我太想她了 不知道该怎么办
So much I don't know what to do about it.
我一直觉得我搞砸了所有事情
I keep feeling like I'm fucking everything up.
-对不起 -不
- I'm sorry. - No.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我整天偷冰淇淋 没有人知道这件事
I steal ice creams all the time and no-one knows about it.
也不是整天 但是...
Well, maybe not all the time, but...
-火星牌冰淇淋 -好吧
- Mars ice creams? - OK.
我喜欢滑开冰柜的感觉
I like the challenge of having to slide open the freezer thing.
-你知道那种冰柜 -是的知道
- You know the freezer thing? - Yeah, yeah.
我甚至都不吃
And I don't even eat them.
那你拿它们干什么
What do you do with them?
有时候我把冰淇淋给无家可归的人
Sometimes I give them to homeless people.
有时候我把它们放回去
Sometimes I put them back,
但放在其他报刊亭的冰柜里
but in a different freezer in a different newsagents.
你什么都可以告诉我
You can tell me anything.
没事的
It's ok.
你好 请问米雪在家吗
Hi, is Michelle in, please?
很抱歉我一直都表现得那么混♥蛋♥
I'm really sorry for consistently behaving like a penis.
你毫无疑问是一个
You're, like, actually, factually just a, like,
比我好太多的人
much better person than me.
你为什么总是那么混♥蛋♥
Why are you such a consistent penis?
一定是遗传之类的
It must be genetic or something.
-求你不要讨厌我 -我不会讨厌你的
- Please don't hate me. - I'm not going to hate you.
如果我在门口亲你
Would your dad find it, like,
你♥爸♥会不会觉得很奇怪
majorly weird if I kissed you on the doorstep?
你想要我进去征求他的同...
Well, do you want me to go and ask him for y-
下一个是...
Next up is...
一次SPA热石按♥摩♥ 伍德考克庄园提供的
An SPA hot stone massage, care of Woodcock Manor.
69号♥
So, number 69.
我再说一遍 69号♥
I'll say that again, number 69.
69 是哪一位
69. Anyone?
别害羞
Don't be shy.
我跟你一起上去
I'll come up with you.
那个按♥摩♥是你应得的
You deserve that massage.
我希望这不是...
I hope this isn't...
但是我...
But I, erm... I...
我知道你们有些人对...
I know that...some of you are...
感到很不自在
..a little...uneasy about...
抱歉打断你
And apologies for the interruption.
但我觉得那会很不负责任 要是我...
But I just, I, I feel it would be remiss of me if...
要是我没有
..not to... if I didn't...
跟你们说
..say to you...
因为如果任何人有任何问题
Because if, if anyone has any questions
想问我们到底
about what it is that, that we're...
在做什么
..doing or, you know,
欢迎来问
please do come and...
因为我们真的没想...
Because we're really not, we're really not...
让任何人心烦或不舒服
trying to upset anyone, or make anyone uncomfortable.
完全没有
Far from it.
所以
So...
艾伦 我...
Alan, I... Look. All I...
乔伊 你知道吗
Joy, you know what? Do you know what?
我不是很想讨论...
I, I don't really want to get into a...
-我当时只是想... -乔伊 我是认真的
- All I was trying to do... - Joy, I'm serious.
这很重要 我真心认为...
It's important, I honestly think...
我说了我不想讨论这事
I said I don't want to talk about it!
这是我的工作
I mean, it's what I do for a living.
-你知道吗 -听我说 没人...
- You know? - Listen. No-one is...
你知道...你意识到
I mean you do realise, you do realise,
你可能害我丢了工作吧
you might've actually cost me my job.
理由是什么
On what grounds?
乔伊 你今晚让我难堪了
Joy, come on. You embarrassed me tonight.
今晚太令人难堪了
Tonight was embarrassing.
如果我们只是互相出轨
And would you consider it more or less of an embarrassment
你会认为那令人难堪吗
if we were just cheating on each other?
如果我们决定分手 离婚
If we decided to break up, get a divorce,
分别抚养孩子
and cut the kids in half,
每到周末再把孩子们换过来 那难堪吗
and spend the weekends ferrying them back and forth?
-好了 -二婚甚至三婚呢
- All right. - Would a second, maybe a third wedding...?
一连串失败的婚姻呢
How about a whole string of unsuccessful marriages?
你会认为那令人难堪吗
Would you consider that to be more or less of an embarrassment?
这些人需要成熟一点
I mean, these people need to grow the fuck up.
-所以需要成熟一点的是他们 -对
- So, they're the ones who need to grow up, are they? - Yes.
我懂了 所以他们才是...
Oh, I see, I get it now. So, they're, THEY'RE the ones...
我们有权过自己想要的生活
We have every right to live how we want.
乔伊 听听你说的话
Joy, listen to yourself!
你今晚做的事
What you did tonight, it was...
不妥到极点
It was, wildly, wildly, inappropriate.
我不同意
I disagree.
就不该让你说服我这么做
Should never have let you talk me into this.
-做什么 -这一切
- Into what? - Any of it, all of it.
-这话是什么意思 -意思是
- Well, what's that supposed to mean? - It means...
我已经不知道我们的婚姻走到哪一步了
It means I'm losing track of where we're even at any more.
本来好像挺好的 但突然之间
We seem to be doing fine, and then all of a sudden you, you,
你出去和前任打保龄球
you're out bowling with your ex,
然后你在满屋子的人面前...
and then you're up in front of a room full of...
艾伦 我真心认为
Oh, Alan, I think honestly you're in danger
你小题大做了
of making a mountain into a...
那你为什么执意改变游戏规则
Then why this persistent moving of the goal posts?
爱上别人的又不是我
Well, I'm not the one who fell in love, so...
你♥他♥妈♥说什么
I, I beg your fucking pardon?
我懂了 我懂了 所以都怪我了对吧
Oh, I see. Oh, I see. So, this is all my fault now, is it?
不 没人有错
No, it's nobody's...
乔伊 我找你谈 我告诉你...
Joy, I came to you, and I, and I told you...
-是啊 -我们说好了如何前进
- Yeah, you did. - And we agreed a way forward.
-那在我看来... -你能别冲我吼了吗
- Which, to my mind... - Will you stop shouting at me?
你怎么就看不清 你为什么就不明白