Hello, sir. 59 minutes.
你好 先生 59分钟
That's how long I've been sitting here
我花了59分钟坐在这
waiting for a man that nobody should wait for.
等待一个不值得等待的人
Sir, I'm so sorry. My senior staff... Never apologize.
先生 我很抱歉 我的高级职员... 永远不要道歉
Sorry betrays a weak spirit. Have a seat, Congressman.
道歉是弱者的作法 坐下吧 议员先生
Okay, but you're in...
好吧 不过你正坐在...
Fine. Nice of you to fit me into your busy schedule.
好吧 谢谢你在百忙之中抽空见我
Okay, see, when you say that,
好吧 当你这样说
it makes me think that I should be apologizing.
总让我感觉我应该道歉
Don't worry, I like to
别担心 我喜欢通过直视对方
judge a man by looking him right in the eyes.
来评判一个人
Okay.
好吧
Are you gonna make a campaign contribution or what?
你到底要不要赞助我的竞选?
You know what? I am.
你知道吗? 我赞助
Getting paid, getting laid, son.
付钱有爱做 孩子
Congressman Jonah Ryan.
国会议员乔纳·瑞安
RYAN. Zero dollars and one cent.
R Y A N 零美元一美分
Did you have a stroke, you weird asshole man?
你这个古怪的操蛋家伙 你是中风了吗?
You stuck around here for an hour just to be a dick?
你在这困了一个小时就是为了做个混♥蛋♥?
I did.
我就这么做了
You didn't even sign this.
这支票都没有签名
Maybe you should've apologized.
也许你应该道歉的
You told me not to!
你不要我那样做!
Dingdong! Dinner is served! What?
叮咚! 晚餐好啦! 什么?
You should not be in the maid's quarters.
你不应该做女仆的事
I know. Oh, let me help, let me help.
我知道 放着我来 放着我来
No, no, no, Gary, sit. No, no, no, you sit.
不 不 不 盖瑞 坐下 不 不 不 你坐
No, Gary, sit! All right, let's both sit.
不 盖瑞 坐下! 好吧 我们都坐下
Lookie looksters!
快看看呀!
Oh, my gosh!
我的天啊
This looks delicious. What is it?
看起来好好吃 这都是什么?
Oh, I cut up a chicken sandwich and I put it into pasta.
我切了一个鸡肉三明治 然后把它放到意面里了
What?
说啥?
Is this the chicken sandwich
这是我们去住院之前冰箱里剩的
that was in the fridge before the hospital?
那个鸡肉三明治吗?
Wow, and you left the bun on it when you cut it.
哇 你切的时候还留了个小圆面包呢
Well, you don't have to finish it if you don't think it's--
如果你觉得这个不怎么样的话你可以不吃..
No, no, no, I can't wait to swirl my fork in there and get in.
不 不 不 我等不及让拿我的叉子在里面打转转了
Let me see. Mm.
让我尝尝 嗯
Smells sort of funky, though, no?
闻起来有点奇怪 你不觉得吗?
It's the bleu cheese.
是蓝起司的缘故
No, but there isn't any bleu cheese in it.
不是的 里面是没有蓝起司的
You must be...
你一定...
starving yourself, though.
饿了好长一段时间了吧
Oh, no, I ate. You did?
没 我吃了 你吃了?
Yeah, a chef made me some grilled salmon
厨师给我做了一些烤鲑鱼
and some asparagus with a bearnaise sauce.
配芦笋和蛋黄酱
It was heavenly. It was really delicious.
太好吃了 简直是天堂
I mean, I couldn't finish it. I just threw the rest out.
我是说 我都没吃完 我把剩下的丢了
You did? Okay.
你丢了? 好吧
Where is your water?
你的水在哪里?
Ugh, I don't have any. There's just bottles in the kitchen.
我没有水喝 厨房♥里只有一些瓶子
Yeah, I'll go. No, no, no, I'll go.
我去吧 别 别 别 我去
No, no, no, I'm gonna go, really.
不 不 不 我去 真的
Okay? I'm just-- I just wanna wait a minute.
好吗? 我只想 等会去
Okay. That's really sweet.
好吧 你人真好
We've got full queen
我们有全套超大尺寸的枕头套
and king pillow top sets for 599,
一套只要599
and a king memory foam...
和超大的记忆泡沫枕...
Apparently, the state senator
看来 州参议员
was against gay marriage
反对同性婚姻
and paying his gay escort.
与此同时 他却花了一大笔钱付给他的同志鸭子
We'll be right back. And we're clear. Great.
我们马上回来 我们可以结束了 很好
No. Unless it's an eraser, go away.
不 除非你拿的是个橡皮 不然的话走开
I don't want it. Danny,
我不想要 走开 丹尼
I saw that piece that you did on Rwanda.
我看了你做的关于卢旺达的小片段
It's very powerful. You did?
很有力嘛 你看了?
Fantastic! I'm so glad you like it.
太好了! 我很高兴你喜欢
Oh, you know what? Real quick... A lot of research.
噢 你知道吗? 马上... 很多调查研究
Very powerful. You gotta try one of these.
非常有力 你一定要尝尝这个
Just say yes.
张开你的樱桃小嘴
You will be the death of me.
有一天我会抵挡不住你
Cookie? Is that what she calls you
吃饼干吗? 她把她的小♥弟♥弟♥放在你的小妹妹里面时
when she puts her penis in your vagina?
她也是这么称呼你的吗?
What? What are you talking about?
什么? 你在说什么?
We all know about you and Jane. You guys are together.
我们都知道你和简发生了什么 你们在一起了
Come on, I haven't slept with a woman over 30 since I was 14,
得了吧 我十四岁之后就没睡过30岁以上的女人了
and that's 'cause I needed the grade.
而这是因为 我也是有品位的人
Bronzina's fired. You're welcome.
布朗吉娜被解雇了 不用谢
You're so tapping that.
你一定很喜欢跟她上♥床♥
Okay, camera two.
好的 二号♥摄像机
Where have you been?
你都去哪了?
Why? Did I miss the French toast dippy things?
怎么了? 我错过了法式吐司蘸料吗?
You're two hours late. No, that's impossible.
你晚到了两小时 不可能
I set my watch back for Daylight Savings Time.
我把我的手表时间调成了夏令时
Saving, not savings. You set your watch the wrong way.
没有s 都说了没有s 你把时间调错了
It's neither a plural, nor a possessive. No, it's spring.
既不是复数形式 也不是所有格 不 是发条
I "Springed" Backwards. No, you spring forward!
我把发条调回去了一个小时 不 应该调快一个小时!
Have ever watched girls gymnastics? That makes no sense.
看过女子体操吗? 你说的简直没道理嘛
You could just get the correct time from your phone.
你可以从你手♥机♥上看到正确的时间啊
Oh, could I?
噢 真的吗?
Well, guess what, my phone fell in the toilet,
好吧 你猜发生了啥 我手♥机♥掉厕所了
so who's the fucking smart guy now, Kent?
那现在谁才是机智到爆的人啦 肯特?
Hey, hey, hey, listen to me, you plus-sized homunculus.
嘿 嘿 嘿 听我说 你个长得太高了的小矮人
Plussized what? Homunculus.
太高的啥? 矮人
A human-shaped creature of medieval legend
小矮人是由腐烂的精♥子♥发育而来的
that Paracelsus claimed was created from putrefied sperm.
一种中世纪传说的人形生物
How do you both know that? Not now, not now.
你俩咋知道那些的? 现在不是解释这个的时候
If you don't want that reporter to write a story titled
如果你不想记者写出"花岗岩州代表傻大个"
"Granite State Represented by Twinless Tower,"
这样的报纸标题
then you better get over there, dip his cock in some maple syrup,
那你最好走过去 提起他的小鸡鸡浸上枫糖浆
and start sucking. Fine.
开始嘬吧 好吧
Hey, Union Leader, come here.
嘿 工会老大 过来
Take this down.
关掉
I'm not gonna suck your dick.
我不会嘬你的小鸡鸡
The only one who should be sucking your dick
唯一会嘬你小鸡鸡的人
is Daylight Savings Time.
只有夏令时
And I don't give a fuck if that means
我才不管这样会不会搞的某个住在堪萨斯
that some farmer in Kansas
的农民要摸黑打着闪光灯
has to milk his cow using a fucking flashlight.
才能给他的奶牛挤奶
I've had my own bedtime since I was 17.
我从17岁开始就有自己的就寝时间
I didn't need a babysitter then and I don't need one now,
从那时候开始我就不需要保姆了 而且现在也不需要
and it's high time that the
现在也到政♥府♥
government stop trying to babysit all of us.
停止给所有人擦屁♥股♥的时候了
That was all off the record.
刚才的话不许记录
Ma'am, "New York Times" Says Montez
女士 《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》说今天
is naming the nominee today.
蒙特兹提到了候选人的名字
Eh. "Buzzfeed" Confirms.
呃 "嗡嗡喂"网站也证实消息了
Oh, my God, really? Yeah.
噢 我滴神 真的? 真的
We should be getting a phone call any minute.
我们随时会接到电♥话♥
Ooh, my heart is racing!
噢 我心跳加速!
I bet this time, it's just menopause.
我赌这次 只是更年期到了
President Meyer's office. Ooh.
梅耶总统办公室 喔
Yep, she's right here. It's Candi Caruso.
是的 她在 坎迪·科鲁索电♥话♥
Don't say that I'm here. You are here, though.
别说我在 但是你就在这儿啊
Candi? Uh-huh.
坎迪? 嗯嗯
Oh, that's fantastic!
噢 真是太棒了!
Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.
好的 谢谢 拜拜
Get Shylock Tanz on the phone right now!
立刻给我转线到神探泰兹!
What? I don't know who Montez picked,
啥? 我不知道蒙特兹挑了谁
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