新贵（2016）

创造了这样一个自负的权贵
Creating a vain, entitled,
一个自恋又拖拉的巨婴
self-obsessed, procrastinating crybaby
一个头长在屁♥股♥里的家伙
who's taken up permanent residence in his own arsington!
我还以为需要几个世纪
I imagine it could have been centuries
才会有人想得出这样的喜剧角色
before someone came up with a comedy around a person like that.
但这部剧应该是悲剧啊
But it's supposed to be tragic!
确实确实
And it is.
大家会想 天哪 这个人可真是可悲
As in, "Oh, my God, that bloke is just tragic!"
我最喜欢的是结尾的闹剧
My favourite bit is the mini-farce at the end.
结尾的闹剧
Mini-farce at the end?!
就是死亡的那一幕
The death scene.
真是太高了
Oh, it's so over the top
您肯定得需要一把梯子来写才够得着
you must have needed a ladder to write that!
我去开门
I'll get it.
《哈姆雷特》才不是喜剧
My Hamlet is not a comedy!
而是一段法医般精准的探索之路
It is a forensically astute journey
深入剖析人类灵魂那颗饱受折磨的心
into the tortured heart of the human soul!
无畏地审视存在这一令人痛苦的事实
Its fearless examination of the agonising reality of existence
极具洞察力 特别是死亡那一幕
is searingly perceptive. Particularly the death scene!
威廉 得了吧
Will, come on, please!
死亡那一幕 法医般的精准
The Hamlet death scene? Forensically astute?
真实得无懈可击
Fearlessly realistic?
您当我傻吗
You are pulling my plonkington.
我没有取笑你们
I am not pulling your plonkington.
《哈姆雷特》里死亡那一幕
Hamlet's death scene is the greatest and most convincing scene
是我写过的最伟大 最令人信服的场景
I have ever written.
那十八页达到了展现生死本质的最高境界
An 18-page masterclass on the true nature of life and death!
但伯比奇要求我写一部轻松的滑稽戏
However, since Burbage requires a light and whimsical comedy,
我只好把我的悲剧大作放在一边
I must set aside my tragic masterpiece
转而在别处寻求灵感
and search for an idea elsewhere.
我在门下面找到了这些字条
I found this note under the door.
哦呦
Ouch.
我有点担心
Well, that's a bit worrying,
毕竟伦敦那些人恨不得
what with London seething with people
把我大卸八块 让我肝脑涂地
who would long to see my gutlings spilled from my quartered body.
大卸八块 肝脑涂地吗 基特
Gutlings spilled from your quartered body, Kit?
事态真的这么严重吗
Can things really be as serious as that?
你懂的 凡动刀的 必死于刀下
You know how it is. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
显然我明白 基特
Well, obviously, I know, Kit.
是我创造了这个短语... 在...
'Twas I that coined the phrase... in...
我想是在《理查三世》里
in my Richard, I think,
或者某一部亨利王有关的剧
or possibly a random Henry.
那里面多次提到刀剑
A lot of swords in those.
但肯定来自我的某一部剧
But definitely one of mine.
那么 莎士比亚先生 为什么不叫看守
Why then, Mr Shakespeare, call the Watch!
向枢密院上诉
Appeal to the Privy Council!
大喊 这是阴谋诡计
Cry, "Foul and naughty tricks!"
我想你已经被抄袭了
for I fear you have been plagiarised.
抄袭 谁抄袭 是谁偷窃了我的大作
Plagiarised? By whom? Who's stealing my biggies?
把这个混账窃贼的名字说出来
Name this thieving bastable!
是门徒马太
The Apostle Matthew.
真是讨厌鬼 算什么耶稣的门徒
The swine! And him a man of God!
莎士比亚先生
Mr Shakespeare,
凡动刀的 必死于刀下
"He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword"
这句话来自圣经
is in the Bible.
真的吗 你确定吗
Really? Are you sure?
是啊
Yes.
马太福音 二十六章 五十二节
Matthew, chapter 26, verse 52.
然而有趣的是 这也并非马太的原创
Although, interestingly, he didn't come up with it either.
这个短语
A form of the phrase first
首先出现在古希腊戏剧《阿伽门农》中
appears in the Ancient Greek play Agamemnon
作者是不朽的埃斯库罗斯
by the immortal dramatist Aeschylus.
如果马太可以用 那我也可以
Well, if the Apostle Matthew can pinch it, then so can I.
是的 基特 就是我的原话
Yes, Kit, definitely one of mine!
这样我就能播下混乱的种子
And so do I continue my private task of sowing confusion
混淆我事实上的作品和
about what I actually wrote
人们想象中我的手笔
and what people merely think I did.
直到有一天 无知而虚荣的人们
Until the day dawns when people in their ignorance and vanity
会把一切听上去古老的真理都归功于我
will attribute any archaic-sounding truism to me
并确信它们就是属于我
in the certitude that it might easily have been me,
即使并非如此 也没人知道其中差别
and if it wasn't, no-one will know the diff.
因此最终我会成为
Thus will I eventually get credit
发明整个英语语言系统的人
for inventing the entire English language.
拿着你的《坎特伯雷故事集》一边去吧
So, shove that up your Canterbury Tales,
英国中世纪最杰出的诗人
杰弗里·乔叟
Geoffrey Chaucer!
有意思 罗伯特·格林来信
This is interesting. It's from Robert Greene.
他在组织一场
He is organising an
伦敦一流作家的知识分子沙龙
intellectual salon of London's foremost writers.
他们打算到乡村隐居... 听听这个...
They intend to retreat to the country for... Get this!...
待上一年 全程禁欲
A whole year, forswearing all rumpy-pumpington
这样就可以远离女人的烦扰地
and, instead, discussing Roman philosophy
讨论罗马哲学
far from the distracting company of women.
拉丁语 通常受过教育的人才懂
唉 女人如此愚蠢
Eheu, feminae tam stultae sunt
男人根本无法与其讨论罗马哲学
ut de philosophia romana disputare nequeat.
什么意思 凯特
What was that, Kate?
我当然听得懂 但宝特姆不行
I know it, of course, but for Bottom's sake.
我说的是拉丁语 多么遗憾 女人如此愚蠢
It's Latin for, "How sad that women are too stupid
男人无法与其谈论罗马哲学
"To discuss Roman philosophy."
确实很可惜 但没办法
Well, yes, it is a shame, but there you go.
没必要为这伤心 女人都笨 这是本性
No point crying about it. Birds are thick. Can't change nature.
忘了这件事吧
Get over it.
不管怎么说 这都是很好的消息
Anyway, this is great news.
我是说 通常我不会
I mean, normally I wouldn't
进入无性沙龙周围一百英里的范围内
go within 100 miles of a no-sex salon,
但现在所有人都在抓我
but with every man's hand against me,
风头过去前 这大概是完美的藏身之地
this could be the perfect place to hide until the heat's off.
对我来说也是极好的消息 基特
And great news for me, too, Kit.
和上流社会隐居创作正合我意
A posh boys' literary retreat is just the place I need
让我好好构思这出把我难倒的喜剧
to come up with an idea for this comedy which eludes me.
莎士比亚先生 您要放弃一整年的性行为吗
But, Mr Shakespeare, a whole year forswearing rumpy-pumpington?
您的太太不会反对吗
Won't your wife object?
我认为安妮不会介意这一发的 凯特
I don't think Anne will mind missing out on one bonk, Kate.
她又不是色情狂
She's not a sex maniac.
宝特姆 帮我收拾行装
Botsky, pack my bags.
等一下 威廉 邀请信只是给我的
Hang on, Will, the invitation's just to me.
过分
Outrage!
伦敦最讲究的诗人集♥会♥居然把我排除在外
London's daintiest poets assemble and I'm excluded?!
就像举办丛林野兽聚会
They might as well have a gathering of jungle beasts
却不邀请狮子
and not invite the lion!
希腊众神聚会却不邀请宙斯
Of Greek gods and not invite Zeus!
馅饼的馅料聚会却不邀请牛排和肾
Of pie fillings and not invite steak and kidney!
要我说是鸡肉和蘑菇
I'd have said chicken and mushroom.
我的话是火腿和韭菜 那真是馅料之王
Ham and leek for me. King of pies.
你们疯了 应该是苹果和黑莓
You're crazy. Apple and blackberry.
如果算上甜馅料...
Oh, well, if we're allowed sweet fillings...
你这个馅料聚会的比喻里
Are we allowed sweet
有甜馅料吗 威廉
fillings at this pie-gathering metaphor, Will?
没有 只有咸馅料
No, I think only savoury.
听着 这无关紧要
Look, it doesn't matter!
重要的是
The point is that,
再重复一遍
yet again, pamperloins and
这帮权贵是在鄙视我
folderols are snooting their cocks at me!
我要自己举办乡村沙龙
Well, I shall create my own country salon.
宝特姆 收拾行装
Bottom, pack my bags!
我要去斯特拉福写一出伟大的喜剧
We're off to Stratters, where I shall write a great comedy.
或者您就把《哈姆雷特》给他们 省得奔波
Or you could just give them Hamlet, save us a trip.
《哈姆雷特》不是喜剧
Hamlet is not a comedy!
劳驾 一杯水就好 露西夫人
Water only, if you please, Mistress Lucy,
因为我们要讨论举办文学沙龙的事情
for we are here to discuss the forming of a literary salon.