朝上

但我说了 这里不是水疗会馆 而是康复中心
Like I said, this is not a spa. It's a rehab facility.
前情提要
-你那天晚上去格林公园干什么 -肖娜
- What were you doing in Green Park the other night? - Shona!
你不停止跟踪我 我就跟你解绑「寻找我的手♥机♥」功能
I'll unmatch you on Find My Phone if you don't stop stalking me,
你就像个变♥态♥怪蜀黍一样
you're like a creepy uncle!
这里是拱廊心理诊所
'Archway Psychotherapy.'
我刚在商店偷了一杯奶昔 所以感觉有点..
I just shoplifted a smoothie, so I'm feeling a bit...
其实 我更想跟海伦谈谈这件事
Actually, can I speak to Helen about this, rather than you?
-你在干什么 -心思放在这里 放在这里
- What are you doing? - Just be here! Be here!
她跟她朋友在一起 交些新朋友
She's with her friends, she's making friends.
-我的心思在这里啊 -淡定点
- I am here! - Just chill.
我不想说我的私事让你觉得无聊
I don't wanna bore you with my personal life.
说吧 我大部分时间都是一个人在家吃面条
Please! I spend most of the day on my own, eating noodles!
是吗 你的猫叫"面条"吗
Yeah? Is that your cat's name?
我是想尊重你 你个傻子
I'm trying to fucking respect you here, you mug!
天呐 你就不能等我们做♥爱♥过后再尊重我吗
God! Could you not have respected me after we had sex?
天呐 你好
Oh, god, hi!
-早上好 -你也早上好
- Morning. - Morning back.
-你好 -你好啊 今早买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥是吧
- Hello! - Oh, hello! Two for the price of one this morning, was it?
你应该跟我们一起洗 可以省点水
You should join us, save us all on water.
不了 我要是做到那一步
Ah, no, I'd demand a rent discount
得要求房♥租打折呢 艾玛
for the sort of work I put in, Emma.
我以前在学校吃东西速度很快
At school I was a very fast eater and...
喝汤也很快 所以你们一定会很开心的
soup eater, so you'd both have a very good time.
那我不如就...
Well, erm, might just, erm...
像肥皂一样偷偷溜进去
slip in like a little bit of soap.
好多蒸汽啊
Oh, it's steamy, guys!
神经病
Mentaler.
宝贝 能不能别说"神经病"
Actually, babes, just don't say "Mentaler".
因为我爸以前有精神病 所以这词有点冒犯人
Because my dad was mental, so it's a bit offensive.
抱歉
Sorry.
-你好啊 帕特 -我现在得走路去医生那里
- Hiya, Pat. - I have to walk to the doctor's now.
他们在电♥话♥里叫我稍等 然后就直接挂了
They had me on hold then just...hung up.
是哦 上帝爱你
Oh, right, God love you, yeah.
我胸口长了这些东西
And I found this on my chest.
老天 那是皮疹啊 帕特
Oh, God, that's a rash, Pat.
-看起来有点像湿疹之类的 -是啊
- Looks like a bit of eczema, or something. - Yeah.
我有糖尿病
Me with diabetes,
还有哮喘 因为以前...
and you know, the asthma, from the...
是啊 我知道 你告诉过我
Yeah, I know, you told me,
不过你不该在街上买♥♥烟
but you shouldn't buy cigarettes on the street, you know?
-他们从来不问路 -确实
- They never ask directions. - No.
好吧 那我...
Ok, should I...
现在我只剩下回忆
Now all I have is memories.
也让你得了皮疹 是吧
Well, give you a rash too, I suppose.
那些难民 毁了一切
Asylum seekers. Ruin, now.
我们都是移♥民♥ 帕特
We're all immigrants, Pat,
你母亲当初为什么要搬来这里
why did your mother move over here in the first place?
她当时很惨
Ah, she was having a terrible time.
未婚
Unmarried.
怀孕
Pregnant.
-我企图杀死她 -找到原因了
- I tried to kill her. - Well, there you have it.
而且 她是白人 所以她能融入
Plus, she was white, so she fit in.
我♥操♥ 好了 再见帕特 祝你皮疹早点好
Fuck me, right, bye, Pat, good luck with your rash!
很棒 开始吧 好
Lovely, here we go, OK.
欢迎来到餐厅
So, welcome to the cafe.
或者用英文说 就是...
Or as we say in English...
餐馆
Cafe.
餐馆 没错
Cafe. Exactly.
可以给我...一罐可乐
Can I have...A can of Coke...
还有薯条 谢谢
And chips, please.
其实我们是那种高端餐馆
I mean, we're more of an upmarket cafe,
不过好吧 给你薯条
but yeah, go on, grand, there are some chips for you.
还有 应该说"麻烦" 而不是"可以"
And also, it's "May", not "Can".
一「麻烦」可乐吗
May of Coke?
Can既表示"一罐"
也表示"可以"
什么
What?
不 不是
Oh, no, no.
是"麻烦给我一罐可乐" 而不是"可以给我一罐可乐"
It's "May I have a can of Coke", not "Can I have a may of Coke?"
麻烦啊 对 麻烦[梅]Ah, may! Ha, May, yeah.
前英国首相
特雷莎·梅
Theresa May!
特雷莎·梅 我们餐馆绝对不销♥售♥她
Theresa May, who we definitely don't sell her at the cafe.
总共30英镑 谢谢
And that is ￡30, please!
很好
Lovely.
好了 下一个到谁
Right, who's next?
维克多 来
Victor. Come on.
你想点什么
What can I get you?
伏特加可乐
A vodka Coke.
谁会在餐馆卖♥♥这个 维克多
Who would sell this at a cafe, Victor?
不 应该是"麻烦给我伏特加和可乐 谢谢"
No, it's "May I have vodka and Coke, please?"
没错 但我才是老师
Right, yes, so I'm the teacher here.
谢谢你啊
Thank you very much.
那么 麻烦给我...
So, may I have...
麻烦给我...
May I have...
伏特加和可乐
Vodka and Coke.
伏特加和可乐
A vodka and Coke.
还有...
And...
-谢谢 -谢谢 没错
- Please. - Please. Yes.
很好 谢谢你
Very good. Thank you.
总共40英镑 谢谢
That'll be ￡40, please.
伦敦的价格
London prices.
谢谢 财源滚滚来呢
Thank you. I'm making it rain here!
太棒了
Fantastic.
-你找我吗 殿下 -谢谢 请坐
- You rang, your highness? - Thank you, you may sit.
用你的话来说 什么事这么乐呵
So. What's the craic, as you say?
你的牙买♥♥加口音装得不错嘛
Your Jamaican accent's coming along well.
这句在我身上不适用 因为我真的是牙买♥♥加裔
That doesn't work, actually, I'm Jamaican.
你"牙"那蹩脚的爱尔兰口音快把我逼疯了
Ja-making me crazy with your terrible Irish accent.
不过 说真的
Seriously, though.
有一位老师辞掉了教法国小孩的工作
One of the guys has pulled out of a job with this French kid.
你会说法语吗
Do you speak French?
会啊 先生 我法语说得很好[法语]Oui, monsieur. Je parle plus q'un peu.
那是会的意思吗 我不懂法语
Is that a yes? I don't speak French.
我要是让你感到自卑了 别生气[牛角包]Don't be...croissant with me for making you feel inferior.
难怪你还是单身狗
No wonder you're single.
扎心了
Zing.
不 我很抱歉
No, no, I'm sorry...
那是个 玩笑
It was...banter?
不不 没关系 没关系
No, no, no. It's fine. It's fine.
好了 你刚才说到哪儿
Yeah, what were you saying?
就是 我希望你接下这份工作 不过...
Yeah, no, so...I'd love you to do it, um, but...
你现在能过去打声招呼吗
Do you think you could call round for a quick hello now?
-现在吗 -是的 孩子父亲想先见见你
- Now?! - Yeah, the father wants to meet you first.
你明天开始上班
So you'd be starting tomorrow,
但酬劳[美元]很不错
but it would be some nice dollar.
好吧
I mean, yeah.
如果是英镑就更好了 不过
Sterling would be nicer. But, er...
-是的 我当然愿意做 -完美
- Yeah, yeah, of course I'll do it. - Perfect.
-好极了 -上面写了地址
- Yeah, that's...grand. - Address on the top.
真的很感谢 我需要这份工作
Genuinely, thanks, I need the work.
-所以 你懂的 -艾妮
- So, you know... - Aine.
很抱歉我开了那个玩笑
I'm sorry about that joke.
不 天呐 说什么傻话
Oh, no, God, no, don't be silly!
别说傻话 那只是朋友间的玩笑而已
Don't be silly, just banter between mates.
我这人没有灵魂 詹姆斯 你知道的
I have no soul, James, you know that.
-但我会向教育标准局举报你的 -求你不要
- But I will be reporting you to Ofsted. - No, please don't.
你好 我是艾妮
Oh, hi. I'm Aine.
好吧 没错
Right, yeah.
我是理查德 请进
Richard. Come on in.
你是英国人
Oh, you're English.
是的 所以呢
Yeah. So?
我本来以为你可能是法国人