朝上

爱是不用花一分钱的
Love costs zero pounds.
我爱你们
And I love you.
我们也爱你
And we love you!
得了吧 你们只会伤我的心
Ah, stop it, you're breaking my heart!
好了 周一前把习题全做完
Right, fill out all of those worksheets by Monday, though,
否则我就跟你们也来场脱欧
or I will Brexit the lot of you.
周末到啦
It's the weekend!
给你们自己鼓鼓掌
Give yourselves a round of applause!
周末到啦
It's the weekend!
-在认真上课吗 -当然 非常认真
- Keeping it professional in here? - Yes, very much so.
对了 莫 你能把那些插头都拔下来吗
Actually, Mo, can you take out those plugs,
之前插座上被我洒了水 所以小心点
I spilled water all over the sockets. So just be careful.
不行 莫 插座如果是湿的就不能碰 艾妮...
No, Mo, don't touch that socket if it's wet. Aine...
我开玩笑的 就是跟你开个小玩笑
I'm a-joking! It's one of my little jokes for you.
喂 艾玛 我是艾妮
Hi, Emma, Aine here.
我在想今晚的晚餐聚会要带什么
Just wondering what to bring for dinner tonight,
是带个帕芙洛娃蛋糕还是带一包K粉
I'm thinking pavlova or a bag of ketamine!
能见你的朋友们我超级激动
I'm super-psyched to meet all your friends...
我正给你打着电♥话♥你的短♥信♥就来了
You are literally just texting me as I talk to you on the phone.
"苏菲不太乐意有她不认识的人在场
"Sophie being weird about people she doesn't know coming,
所以我不能带你去了..."
Don't think I can bring you along any more..."
好 没关系的
Oh, yeah, that is totally fine!
我完全理解
Eh, I totally get that.
好吧 反正我还有很多事要做
Yeah, I had loads of other things to do anyways.
我自己吃帕芙洛娃蛋糕和K粉就好了
I'll just eat the pavlova and ketamine myself.
晚上玩得开心 拜
Have a great night. Bye!
'嗨 这里是肖娜的语♥音♥信箱 请留言'
'Hi, you've reached Shona's voicemail. Leave a message.'
喂 肖娜 是我
Uh, hello, Shona, it's me,
性病诊所的莫拉格·斯伯瑞医生
Dr Morag Sporran from the STD clinic.
我是来告诉你检查结果的
I'm ringing re your test results.
很不幸 你最担心的事发生了
Unfortunately, confirming our worst fears,
你的阴♥道♥从里到外都烂透了
your fanny is rotten from the inside out.
所以我们必须把它切除
So we're going to have to remove it.
嗨 是我 你今晚有什么安排吗
Hi, it's me. What are you doing tonight?
听到留言给我回电♥话♥ 好了 拜
Ring back when you get this. OK, bye!
这里是拱廊心理诊所
Archway Psychotherapy.
你好 请问能让海伦听电♥话♥吗
Hiya, yeah, could I speak to Helen, please?
你是她的病人还是家人
Are you a patient, or family?
病人
Patient.
她现在恐怕没空
I'm afraid she's not free right now.
你想预约下周来电吗
Want to schedule a call for next week?
能不能让海伦现在听电♥话♥
Eh, could I just not speak to someone... Helen, now?
因为我...
Just cos I've, erm....
我刚在商店偷了一杯奶昔 所以感觉有点...
I've just shoplifted a smoothie, so feeling a bit...
其实 我更想跟海伦谈谈这件事
Actually, could I speak to Helen about this rather than you?
我在等着帮你预约下周来电
I'm waiting schedule a call for next week.
不 我都说了... 如果我要自杀呢
No, cos I said... What if I was about to kill myself?
你要吗
Are you?
如果我说我要 你能让海伦听电♥话♥吗
Would that get me through to Helen, if I said I was?
不能 我说过了 她现在没时间
No. As I say, she's unavailable.
真是"谢"你了 再见
Thanks for nothing. Bye.
嗨 你还好吗
Hi, you OK?
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
我怎么来了 别跟我调情了
What am I doing here? Stop flirting with me,
维希 你是我姐姐的男朋友
Vish, you're my suster's boyfriend!
听着 她要晚我五分钟出门 知道吗
Look, she is five minutes behind me, OK,
别让她迟到
so don't make her late.
是你吗 艾妮
Is that you, Aine?
不是 是你的老太太邻居 米尔珠
No, it's your elderly neighbour, Mildred!
茶巾底下是我发酵的酸面团
That is a sourdough I'm proving under a tea towel.
是我刚弄好的 所以别戳它
It is my little newborn. So don't poke it.
我不会让她迟到 也不会戳你的酸面团
I will not make her late and I will not poke your sourdough.
-爱你 -拜
- Love you! - Bye.
拜托别迟到
Please don't be late.
你们房♥子前面的那个流浪汉还挺好的
Hey, that homeless man out the front of your building's nice.
你收到我的留言了吗
You get my voicemail?
没有 我收到你的短♥信♥了 怎么了
No, I got your text, what's wrong?
听我说 真的很有趣
Listen to it, it's really funny.
什么意思 听你说 我赶时间呢
What do you mean, listen to it, I'm in a rush!
你今晚不是有那个晚餐聚会吗
You have that party tonight, the dinner party?
没有...
Eh, no...?
不 为什么 发生什么事了
Oh, no! Why, what happened?
不是 改成晚点在酒吧聚了
Oh, no, it's just turned into like a pub thing later.
那可能更好玩
Oh, that's more fun, probably.
-是啊 -有机会认识新朋友了
- Yeah. - Chance to meet new people.
布鲁斯觉得他一天大约能赚200镑
Bruce reckons he makes £200 a day out there.
谁
Who?
"那谁" 流浪汉
"Who". Homeless guy.
别吃那个水果沙拉
Don't eat that fruit salad!
那是维希的早餐
It's Vish's breakfast.
天呐 维希现在要把我逼疯了
God, Vish is driving me nuts right now.
一直暗示要搬进来
Just keeps alluding to moving in.
但都是通过一些卑劣的小手段来暗示
You know, but in a sneaky way,
比如在这里做酸面团
like, he makes his sourdough here.
他说黄油跟这屋子很搭
He says the butter fits in this house.
那也太卑劣了
That's so sneaky!
想想看他有多爱你
Imagine loving you so much
才会想让你住进他的大房♥子 还不用交房♥租
that he'd...want you to live in his mahoosive house, rent-free?
不过 如果我搬进去 接下来会怎么样
And anyway, if I move in, then what next?
我们要么分手 要么结婚
We'd either break up, or get married.
我希望你们能结婚
I wish you guys would get married
这样我就能上台说个好笑的伴娘致词
so I can do my hilarious best man speech.
讲真 我的开场笑话就是...
Honestly, my opening gag is
-你的开场笑话是什么 -我才不告诉你呢
- What's your opening gag? - Oh, I'm not going to tell you
因为我想在那天看到你的真实反应
because I want the look on your face on the day to be real.
好吧 我对结婚毫无兴趣
Right, well, I've no interest for marriage
所以你可以现在告诉我
so you may as well tell me now.
肖娜 别这么说
Shona! Don't say that.
如果你不结婚 我也不能结婚
If you don't get married, I can't get married.
因为妹妹比姐姐先结婚的话
Because it's bad luck and unnatural
会带来厄运 且有违常理
for the younger sister to wed before the elder.
现在别说这个了 我已经开始有压力了
Stop talking about it now, cos I'm getting stressed.
你能帮我擦背吗
Can you do my back?
不要 上次擦完 我的手两天都是棕色的
No, last time I did this, my hands were brown for two days!
赶紧的吧 是可以洗掉的
Just do it, it's wash-off!
-你那天晚上去格林公园干什么 -肖娜
- What were you doing in Green Park the other night? - Shona!
你不停止跟踪我 我就跟你解绑「寻找我的手♥机♥」功能
I'll unmatch you on Find My Phone if you don't stop stalking me,
你就像个变♥态♥怪蜀黍一样
you're like a creepy uncle!
我没有跟踪你 我只是看看你在哪儿
I'm not stalking you, I'm just checking where you are
这样我就能睡个安心觉了
so I can sleep at night.
你去那里干什么
What are you doing there?
你能稍微轻点吗 会弄得到处都很脏的
Can you do it a bit gentler, it's gonna smear.
我去散步
I, er, I went for a walk.
晚上10点去散步
10pm at night?
没错 看完电影去散步
Yes, after the cinema.
好吧 你跟谁一起去看的电影
Oh, OK, who did you go to the cinema with?
没人 我应该跟谁一起去看电影才对啊
No one, who would I have to go to the cinema with?
别这么说 那让我觉得难过
Don't say that, that just makes me sad.
那是实话 不是吗
Well, it's true, isn't it?
我愿意跟你一起去看电影
I'll go to the cinema with you!
你看的是什么影片
What did you see?
我看了一部色情片
I saw a big porno
一大群小伙子在狂干...
with loads of young lads riding holes...
大晚上的别一个人出去乱走 好吗
Look, just don't go walking around at night on your own, OK?
那让我很担忧 你会被强♥奸♥或谋杀的
It stresses me out -- you'll get raped or murdered.
-那倒也挺好的 可惜几率太低 -天呐
- Chance would be a fine thing. - Jesus...
不 我知道我不应该...
No, I know I shouldn't...
你为什么要说这种话
Why would you say that?
-抱歉 我不该这么说的 -快摸下木头
- So sorry, I shouldn't have said it. - Touch wood.
说了不吉利的话后
摸木头以求摆脱灾祸