朝上

我摸木头
Touch wood.
-肖 -怎么了
- Oh, Sho... - What?
你这里有颗小水痘 我能戳破吗
You've just got... A little spot, can I pop it?
-不 不能戳破 -不 我也不想的
- No, you cannot pop it! - No, I don't want to,
但今晚如果有人看到以后吐了怎么办
but what if someone sees your back tonight and vomits?
天呐 那好吧
Oh, Jesus, OK, then!
-我♥操♥啊 -太难 抱歉
- Ow, fucking hell! - Oh, God! Sorry.
真是太恶心了
That's disgusting.
别在我的被子上擦啊
Don't wipe it on my bedding!
难道我要在你的背部擦吗
What, I wipe it on your back, then?
好了 你可以走了
OK, you can go now.
谢谢您 主人
Thank you, master!
别逗我笑 我会出汗的
Don't make me laugh, I'll sweat.
你还好吧
Are you OK?
天呐 你这穿的是什么鬼
Oh my God, what are you wearing?!
-怎么了 -你从哪儿买♥♥的这衣服
- What? - Where did you get that?
「永远21岁」店里
Forever 21.
那有点讽刺吧
Well, that's a bit of fucking irony if I ever heard of it.
很难看吗 我还以为有点神奇女侠风呢
Oh, is it awful? I thought I looked kind of Wonder Woman-y.
不 只是...
Ah, no! It's just a bit...
有点妓♥女♥风
prostitute-y.
-艾妮 -肖娜
- Aine! - Shona!
你明明有很多血汗工厂制♥造♥的衣服啊
You've a sweatshop full of clothes,
-为什么不从中选一件 -不 我不能
- why don't you wear something from that? - No, I don't.
我看上去又老又丑 还没好看的衣服穿
And I look old and awful and I've nothing to wear.
你一般开襟线衫下面配什么
What are you wearing under your cardigan?
黑色皮迷你裙
My black pleather mini.
那上面的衣服 你想穿哪件自己挑
Literally just help yourself to anything that's on there, OK?
除了要干洗的那些
Except for the dry cleaning stuff.
以及那件白裙子
Oh, and the white dress.
你什么时候出门
What time are you heading out?
他们很快会发短♥信♥告诉我具体时间
Oh, they're gonna text me soon.
不过我应该会在你出门后立刻出门
But I'll probably just scoot straight after you.
你没事吧
Are you OK?
没事啊 我好极了
Yeah, I'm grand!
好极了 当然
Grand, yeah, course!
如果你愿意 可以跟我一起去参加那个活动
Cos you can come to this thing with me if you want.
不要 你疯了
No, you're mad!
你个混♥蛋♥
You doughnut.
想象下我跟那些穿正常的人混在一起的场景吧
Imagine me at an event with all the suits.
话说 我能给你表演下我的绝招吗
Oh hey, listen, can I show you my thing?
-亲爱的 我得... -不 等等
- Ah honey, I've got to... - No, no, wait.
-稍等下 看好了 -那赶快表演吧
- Just wait a second. - Look at this. Show me.
♪对不起 我不是最漂亮的人♪
♪I'm sorry, I'm not the most pretty♪
♪我的歌♥声永远无法像惠特妮那么美♪
♪I will never ever sing like Whitney♪
♪让所有的心滴血...♪
♪So let's let all hearts bleed...♪
好吧 棒极了 很精彩
OK. Yes, great, brilliant.
-很棒 -我看着搞笑吗
- Very good! - Do I look funny?
快出门吧 这可是周末 好好玩一玩
Go out, it's the weekend, have fun!
好咧
Yes!
操 快停下
Oh, fuck, stop this...
该死的 艾妮 你怎么还没出门
Fuck's sake, Aine, why haven't you left yet?
肖娜
Shona?
你好啊 夏洛特
Oh hey, hi, Charlotte.
-你没事吧 -没事 抱歉 有点心不在焉
- You OK? - Yeah, sorry. Distracted.
你刚刚看完的样子
The way you looked at me,
我还以为我把你这爱尔兰名字叫错了
I thought I'd made an Irish name mistake.
随便叫什么爱尔兰名字 我都会应的 希布恩
Listen, I'll answer to any Irish name -- Siobhan...
-萨夏尔 -没错 有人叫我希姆丝我都转过身
- Saoirse? - Yeah, I mean, I've turned around for Seamus...
我很高兴你也来了
I'm glad you're here.
我还以为就我一个女的呢
I thought I was gonna be the only womb present.
-是啊 我也是这么以为的 -进去吗
- Yeah, God, me too. - You coming in?
好的
Yeah.
天呐 我已经可以闻到止汗除臭剂的气味了
God, I can smell the Lynx Africa already.
我就知道艾妮会害你迟到
See, I knew Aine was gonna make you late!
她们来了 掌控财务命脉的强大女人
There they are, the power ladies of finance!
-弗莱迪 -有免费的酒喝 我就知道你会来
- Freddie! - I knew you'd turn up for a night of free drink.
我就希望能从这些有钱人身上榨出点油水来
I just hope we can squeeze some juice out of these wealthy lemons!
艾妮怎么样 肖
How's Aine, Sho?
她好得很
She's absolutely fantastic.
肖 总共150人里有一个女人 三个棕色人种
Sho, so we have one woman and three brown people up there out of 150,
所以这就像是圣诞节一样
so it's like Christmas.
肖娜和我有个很喜欢的游戏 就是每次
Sho and I have this favourite game where we drink a shot
只要看到棕色人种或是做财务的女人 就喝一杯
every time we see a brown person or a woman working in finace.
这是个很烂的喝酒游戏 因为每次都不可能醉
It's a shit drinking game, cos you stay really sober.
这说明我是双重威胁吗
Does that make me a double threat?
是啊 对于你 我们要喝两杯龙舌兰
Yeah! So you'd be two tequilas.
而我显然是负分
And I'm, obviously, minus points.
是的 没错
Yeah, you are.
好了 我们进去吧
Right, well, let's get in there!
看能从这些有钱人身上榨出多少油水
See what juice we can squeeze out of these wealthy lemons!
天呐 你已经说过这话了
Oh my God, you already said that, mate.
-怎么了 -我不知道她...她竟然回家了
- What's going on? - I just don't know where she... She's gone home.
我不知道她为什么又返回家中 是换衣服还是干什么
I don't know why she's gone home. Getting changed, or something.
-你在干什么 -心思放在这里
- What are you doing? - Just be here.
心思放在这里 她没事 她跟她朋友在一起
Be here, all right? She's fine. She's with her friends,
交些新朋友
making new friends...
-我的心思在这里啊 -淡定点
- I am here! - Just chill.
我很淡定 等下在上面见
I am. I'll see you up...
你为什么要跟弗莱迪一起玩 你个叛徒犹大
What are you hanging out with Freddie for anyway, you Judas?
犹大 他是我们这个圈子的一员啊
Judas? He's part of the group!
-别告诉艾妮 -我不会告诉艾妮
- Well, don't tell Aine. - I won't tell Aine!
我不会告诉她她姐姐今晚有多性感
I won't tell her how sexy her sister looks tonight.
谢谢你 亲爱的 这是艾妮的裙子
Ah, thanks, hon. It's Aine's skirt.
-天呐 上帝啊 -不是上帝 是我 小可爱
- Oh, God, fucking Jesus. - No, just me. Hello, sunshine.
你好 天呐 布莱德利 你要去哪儿了
Hello. My God, Bradley, where you off to?
我要去见艾玛 抱歉堆了很多脏衣服
I'm just gonna go and meet Emma. Sorry about all the laundry.
-一直没洗 -天呐 那真是太可爱了
- Not doing it and stuff. - Oh, God, that's so cute.
怎么 你是去了健身房♥吗
What? Have you been to the gym?
抱歉 我姐姐把我的裙子穿走了
Sorry, no, my sister took my skirt.
所以...
So...
好的 祝你玩得开心
Yeah, OK, have fun.
警♥察♥ 快开门
Police! Open up!
不 我还以为是我点的那个脱衣舞男来了呢
Oh no, I thought it was gonna be that stripper I ordered.
-很高兴见到你 -我也是
- Good to see you. - Yeah.
天呐 在现实世界见到你 有点怪怪的
God! It's weird seeing you in the real world.
你换掉运动裤确实看起来很帅
You do look well out of tracksuit bottoms though.
-因为我看了《粉红救兵》 -我超爱那节目
- Been watching Queer Eye, haven't I? - I love it, I love it.
-你觉得我打扮怎么样 -你看起来像个男模
-What do you reckon? - I think you look like a male model.
所以 你还是在喝酒吗
So erm... you still drinking, then, yeah?
是啊 不过我的问题不在于我喝酒 汤姆
Oh, yeah, yeah, but my problem wasn't that I was drinking, Tom.
而在于 我是个惊天动地的传奇
It was that I was too much of a... fucking legend!
话说 你愿意去沙发上坐着喝吗
Anyway, will you take these over to the couch?
好啊 为什么不呢
Yeah, yeah, why not.
美女
Young lady.
我最好的朋友那天骂我是傻♥逼♥基佬
I got called a gay knobhead the other day by my best friend.
就因为我边喝橙汁边看足球比赛
Just for watching football with an orange juice.
你不如直接
You should just go
去星巴克之类的店里看足球比赛
and watch the football in Starbucks or something, you know?
是啊 然后大喊"你♥他♥妈♥是什么傻♥逼♥"
Oh yeah, shout "Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?"
边喝拿铁边喊
over a mocha fucking latte!
我一直不懂看球时为什么这么骂
I never get that with "Who are ya?"
就像在问"你是谁"
It's like, "Who are ya?"
难道应该回答一下 比如说"我是艾妮"
Are you supposed to answer? Like, "I'm Aine."
好吧
All right.
现在是什么情况
W-what's going on here?
我懂的 这就像是两个圆滚滚的瓜
I know, they remind you of two lovely melons.
天呐
Oh, Jesus.
我们不该做这种事 艾妮
We shouldn't do this, Aine.
-什么 -你知道我们并不喜欢彼此
- What?! - You know we don't fancy each other.