朝上

Yeah, you like a lovely little brown sheep.
弗莱迪 你这样会造成瘀伤的
Freddie, that actually hurt me on a bruised bit.
别那么做 不能打女人 这种行为很恶劣
Don't do that. You shouldn't hit a woman, it's awful.
对不起
Sorry.
-看你的表情 -那个 你能不能不...
- Your face. - Actually, can you not...?
别这样 一点都不好笑
Don't do that. It's not funny.
拜托 我刚才在跟你开玩笑...
Oh, come on, I was having a laugh with you...
你骗到我了
You got me!
整到你了 小姐
Played you, lady.
所以 不跟肖娜住的感觉怎么样
So, how is it not living with Shona?
是啊 很好 很好...
Er, yeah, brilliant. Brill...
我现在过得很好
I'm just doing really brilliant.
我室友布莱德利...
My flatmate Bradley who I've...
怎么了
What?
你和布莱德利上♥床♥了吗
You having sex with Bradley?
我倒想
Er, well, I wish,
因为她女朋友的叫♥床♥声
because the noises he gets out of his girlfriend...
-可是非常... -比我们还大声吗
- Are just... - Louder than us?
没错 弗莱迪
Yes, Freddie,
比你以前把我的奶♥子♥当喇叭捏还要大声
louder than when you used to honk my boobs.
好处在于 我终于可以睡个安稳觉了
So the good thing is I can now finally sleep
因为她刚把他给甩了
because she just dumped him.
-真是好消息 -是啊 虽然他伤心欲绝
- Great news. - Yep, I mean, he's devastated,
但对我来说是好消息
but good news for me.
然后就是肖娜 她...
and then Shona... is...
她挺好的 她跟维希出去度浪漫周末了
Yeah, she's good. She's on a romantic weekend with Vishy boy.
在某个很高档的地方 那里没有手♥机♥信♥号♥♥
Somewhere posh where they, like, don't have any phone reception.
只能欣赏野马和野鸡吗
Just a view of a wild pony and some pheasants?
-差不多是这样吧 -他要求婚了
- Very much so, yes. - He's proposing.
什么
What?
才不是
No!
当然是 为什么不是
Yeah, why not?
因为维希要向她求婚 肯定会先问我一声的
Cos Vish wouldn't ask her without asking me first.
-难道你是守门员吗 -是的 没错
- What, are you the gatekeeper? - Yeah, I am.
他们那周看上去爱意浓浓
They looked pretty loved up the other week.
我跟你赌20镑他会求婚
I bet you 20 quid he proposes.
你那周在哪儿跟他们见面的
Where did you see them the other week?
一个工作活动 她没跟你提吗
A work event. Did she not mention it?
-没有 -你们两个啊 几乎都要成陌路人了
- No. - Ah, you guys, you barely know each other any more.
闭嘴 弗莱迪 你烦到我了
Oh, shut up, Freddie, you're annoying me now.
她对我投来了恶毒的目光
She gave me a bit of an evil eye.
我发誓 她就是憎恶我
And again, I swear it, she hates me.
很好
Good.
办公室里的那些男人都吓得屁滚尿流
All the boys in the office are shit scared
因为她在搭建一个女性商业社交组织
cos of this women's networking thing she's setting up.
不要啊
Oh, no!
那些城市男孩
All the little city boys,
都害怕女人们发展壮大
they all scared that the ladies are gonna come along
抢走他们的脱衣舞♥女♥和可♥卡♥因♥
and take away all the strippers and cocaine.
-一点都不好笑 -海♥洛♥因♥好伤心啊
- That's not funny. - The heroin is sad.
他们应该感到害怕 因为她真的很努力
Well, they should be scared, because she's working really hard
最终完成一定会很棒的
and it's going to be amazing.
她和夏洛特一起弄的
Well, her and Charlotte.
你也认识夏洛特吗
Oh, do you know Charlotte?
当然 我帮她做了很多工作
Yeah, I been doing loads of work for her.
她的威胁性可没肖娜那么大
She's less intimidating than Shona.
因为你没有试图跟她妹妹做♥爱♥
Cos you're not trying to have sex with her sister.
谁说我试图跟任何人的妹妹做♥爱♥了
Who says I was trying to have sex with anyone's sister?
打不中 打不中
Miss it, miss it.
我要去撒个尿 再给我叫杯酒
I'm going for a waz. Get me another drink.
糟糕 糟糕 糟糕
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
你好 又是我
Oh, hiya, me again.
你随身有没有带 卫生棉条
You don't have, like, a tampon or a pad on you, do you?
你在问我吗
You asking me?
是的 因为这里只有你
I mean, yes, because you're the only person in the ro....
好吧 算了 没事
Actually, do you know what? It's fine.
我用卫生纸自己卷一个吧
I'll roll up some loo roll.
-等等 -你真有吗 你太棒了
- Wait a minute. - Oh, do you? Oh, you legend.
真是够老式的 就像是个迷你空气垫
Whoa, that is old school. It's like a mini air mattress.
没错 这种更便宜些
Yeah, these ones are cheaper.
当然了
Oh, yeah, of course.
谢谢 太感谢了 天呐
Thank you, thank you so much. Oh, my God.
等我坐下时 肯定会很舒服
It'll be really comfortable when I sit down.
有点像是 阴♥道♥充气弹力城♥堡♥
Kind of like erm, a fanny bouncy castle.
话说 你觉得这是上帝给的预兆吗
Hey, do you think it's a sign from Jesus
让我别跟前男友上♥床♥
not to sleep with my ex?
简直是巨大的征兆
A big bloody sign.
上帝总是用神秘的方式给你启示
The Lord, he does work in mysterious ways.
虽说来了月经并不一定不能做♥爱♥
It's not like you can't have sex on your period,
但如果你想留个好印象就不能做
but not if you want to make a good impression.
除非你想留下的印象是
Unless the impression is
他的鸡♥巴♥杀人见血了
that there's been a terrible murder on his penis.
我先走了
I'm gonna head.
好吧 我惹你生气了吗
OK. Did I piss you off?
不 没有 只是...
No, no, no, no, it's just erm,
我还有很多工作要做 明天早上要上课 所以...
I've got lots of work to catch up on for the morning so...
写出字母表教那些外国人吗
Writing out the alphabet for the foreigners?
你知道我只知道A和C之间的字母
Now, you know I only know between A and C
那后面的 我就全靠瞎说了
and then after that I'm just freestyling it out.
好吧 我们能不能尽快再一起玩 我想你
OK. Can we, erm, do this again soon? I miss you.
我也想你
I miss you too.
-我更想你 -不 我想你...
- I miss you more. - No, I miss you m...
别说了
Stop.
你是个绅士 也是个学者
Well, er, you're a gentleman and scholar.
好了 来个有爱的握手
Yes, a lovely shake.
回头见
See you.
-再见 -再见
- Bye. - Bye.
我是女王
I am a queen.
嗨 这里是肖娜的语♥音♥信箱 请留言
Hi, you've reached Shona's voicemail. Leave a message.
嗨 肖 我是艾妮 惊喜吧 哈哈
Oh, hiya, Sho. Erm, Aine here, surprise. Ha, ha.
我就是问问你的情况
I'm just checking really...
维希没向你求婚吧
Vish hasn't proposed, has he?
我是说 我懂的 太疯狂了
I mean, I know, mad.
但如果他求了 你那边信♥号♥♥又不错 请告诉我一声
But if he has, or is fine reception and erm, let me know.
不过如果他没求 你要怎么让我知道呢
Er, though how would you let me know if he hasn't?
除此之外 我希望你玩得开心
Otherwise, I hope it's fun
祝那边有很多野鸡什么的
and that there are loads of pheasants and shit
你不用的那些东西都给我吧
and I'll have everything you don't use,
尤其是迷你身体乳液
especially, like mini body lotions
或迷你护发素之类的东西
or mini conditioners or anything.
好了 想你哦 爱你 再见
OK, yeah, miss you, miss you. Love you. Bye.
快啊 快啊
Come on, come on.
-你们好啊 -你好
- Hello. - Hello.
你们好啊 嗨
Hello. Hi.
我又拉新人加入了"失恋阵线联盟"
I added someone new to the break-up squad.
-我叫马特 -嗨 我叫艾妮 你好
- Matty. - Oh, hi, I'm Aine. Hiya.
你好啊 小帕 你感觉怎么样 布莱德利
Hi, Pops. How you feeling, Bradley?
跟死了一样
Like death.
好吧 那至少...
Oh, well, that's, you know,
没有比今早更差
at least no worse than this morning, then.
你跟你哥相处一天过得怎么样 帕比
How's your day with your big brother been, Poppy?
真♥他♥妈♥是棒极了
Fan-fucking-tastic.
他带我去公园里喂鸭子
He took me to the park to feed the ducks,
然后我坐秋千 他负责推我 直到我最后累了
then he pushed me on the swings till I got tired.
你想跟我们一起看无聊的足球赛吗
Do you wanna watch some boring football with us?
不了 我回房♥看书或休息 你们慢慢享受
No, I'm just gonna read or chill or something. But, enjoy.
臭移♥民♥
Ref.
-嗨 爱尔兰姑娘 -你好
- Hey, Irish pal. - Hiya.
来跟我们一起玩吧
Come hang out with us.
布莱德利在苦咽他自己的感受 我们吃披萨
Bradley's eating his feelings, so we got pizza.
不 不用了 不过还是谢谢了