朝上

阿尼尔 你如果有个正式工作
Anil, If you got a proper job
你就能坐在大人这桌了
you could have a spot at the big boys' table.
我在网络新闻媒体公♥司♥有正式工作
I have a proper job at BuzzFeed.
孩子 你知道吗
Oh, Bubs, you know what,
等你上学 努力学习
when you go to school and study hard
你就能在网络新闻媒体公♥司♥找到工作了
you could have a job at BuzzFeed.
或者你可以像维希伯伯一样
Or you can do what Uncle Vish did
搬去纽约住了两分钟
and move to New York for two minutes
回来后就像个垃圾广播音乐主持人一样
and come back sound like a shit radio DJ.
广播音乐主持人
Whoa, whoa, radio DJ!
是住了12年 不是两分钟
It was 12 years, it wasn't two minutes.
生日快乐 爸爸 敬哈利
Happy birthday to you, Dad. To Hari.
别搞得这么隆重
Don't make a fuss, huh?
干杯
Cheers.
你要让他感动哭了
You'll make him cry.
好了 大家 听着
All right, everyone, listen up. Shh.
我就想说 你们今天能来
I just want to say how wonderful it is
我们真的感到很荣幸
to have you here with us today.
为了庆祝 我们给艾妮准备了一道特别的菜
And to celebrate we have prepared a special dish for Aine.
太贴心了
Oh, that's so nice.
很好笑 天呐 太谢谢了
Very funny. Oh, my God, thank you so much.
这是从喀拉拉带来的吗
Is this all the way from Kerala?
-不行 太辣了 -你想配酸奶吃吗
- No. Too spicy. - Would you like yogurt with that?
能给我一点酸奶吗 谢谢
Can I get some yoghurt, please? Thank you.
你现在在做什么 肖
What you up to right now, Sho?
我还没跟你说肖的新工作吗
I haven't told you about Sho's new thing?
你们作为女性一定会超喜欢的
You're gonna love this as a woman.
-一个有工作的女人 -没错
- As a woman who also has a job. - Yes!
听好了 工作女郎
Listen up, working woman.
不 这很好
No, it is very good,
肖在做一个针对财务界女性的商业社交
Sho is doing this networking thing for women in finance.
-天呐 那太棒了 -是的 的确很激动人心
- Oh, wow, that's amazing. - Yes, it is very exciting.
那是个大工程
It's a big project.
我在为一个出色的女性...
I'm setting it up for this amazing woman who's...
-她负责大部分的工作 -肖娜比她更出色
- She's doing most of the work. - She's more amazing than her.
-厉害 -那太棒了
- Awesome! - That's amazing!
那是个大工程吗 肖娜
Is it a big job, Shona?
是啊 现在规模还很小
Yeah, I mean, it's small right now
但有望在接下来的几年里发展壮大
but hopefully over the next couple of years.
等到时候有了孩子 就会很难了 不是吗
It'll be hard then with the children then, won't it?
-妈 -怎么了
- Mum! - Well, what?
现在时间一定很紧迫了吧
Time must be a pressure at this stage.
是啊 任何人都不可能越活越年轻 卡维塔
Oh, yes, none of us getting any younger, Kavita.
肖娜没时间生孩子 因为她要照顾我
Well, Shona doesn't have time for kids cos she's got me.
那倒是实话
That is the truth.
去年 照顾你的确成了她的全职工作
Well, you definitely have become a full-time job this last year.
去年发生什么事了
What was last year?
她摔断了腿
Er, she broke her leg.
-不是吧 你怎么搞的 -是啊
- Oh, no! What did you do? - Yeah.
不 现在已经好了 她没事了
No, no. It's all fixed now. She's fine.
你们的腿都有问题 真是太不幸了
That's bad luck that you both have bad legs.
那是我们仅有的共同点 希玛
That's where the similarity ends, Seema.
实际上 我曾去电影《我的左脚》剧组试镜过
Actually, I once auditioned for the film My Left Foot.
天呐 不可能吧
Wow, no way!
你试镜的是什么角色 右脚吗
What did you audition for, the right foot?
不是
No!
一个走进来的邻居
For a neighbour who comes in.
那个邻居 我好像还记得那一段
The neighbour, I think I saw that bit!
-是吗 -真的很酷
- Did you? - It's really cool.
她没拿到那个角色 各位 淡定点
She didn't get the part, lads. Chill out.
我其实不想要孩子
I actually don't want kids.
人总是觉得自己不想要孩子
You always think you don't want kids
然后就会突然改变主意
and then you change your mind.
我有时候依然觉得我不想生下艾妮
I mean, I still sometimes think I don't want Aine.
但我是真的 真的不想
But genuinely, I genuinely don't, you know?
那不是什么大问题 从来就不是问题
It's not a big deal. Just never have.
知道吗 各位 我打算彻底不顾一切
Do you know what, lads, I'm going to throw caution to the wind
用手抓饭吃
and eat with my hand!
那大家都放下叉子吧
So fork off, forks.
现在 开始吧
Now, and...
你对于孩子是什么看法 维希
What about you and children, Vish?
-肖娜想怎么样 我都支持 -好吧
- Oh, erm, I want what Shona wants. - Oh, OK.
那等你到了我们这个年纪怎么办
What are you going to do when you're our age then?
谁在养老院照顾你
Who is going to look after you in the care home?
你以前不是想要孩子吗 维希
I thought you wanted kids, Vish.
不 我...我有芭芭呢
No, I er... I have Bubs right here.
我只要有她就够了
And she is all I need
等我宠爱完了 再还给你们
and then give her back to you when I'm done.
不生养孩子 就不懂真正的爱
You never know real love until you have children.
可别说了 妈
Drop, mam!
就算阿尼尔杀了人 我依然会无条件地爱他
Even if Anil murdered someone I'd still love him unconditionally.
还会帮忙用铁锹挖个坟墓 帮忙掩盖罪行
And get a spade to dig a grave and cover it up.
我怎么成杀人犯了
Why am I a murderer?
维希永远不会蠢到杀人的
Vish'd never be stupid enough to murder someone.
没错 我只会纵火
Yeah, I'm a pyro guy.
-让她到我这儿来吧 -不 没事 我可以搞定她
- Let me take her back. - No, she's fine. I got her.
我觉得并非要成为母亲 才能懂无条件的爱
I don't think you need to be a mother to know unconditional love.
我觉得根本没有这回事
Don't think that's a thing.
并且就算我最终沦落到住养老院
Also I have enough money to hire someone
我也有钱请人照顾我 所以...
to visit me if I ever end up in a care home so...
我要去打个电♥话♥
Do you know what, I'm just gonna make a call,
我一会儿就回来
I'll be back in a second.
-这倒是新鲜事 -什么
- This is new. - Huh?
糟糕 我不是有意跟你开视频的
Oh, shit, I didn't mean to FaceTime you!
-要我挂了再打给你吗 -没事 挺好的
- Shall I call you back normally? - It's OK. It's nice.
能见到你的脸挺好的 你没事吧
It's nice to see your face. Are you OK?
没事 我刚刚在维希父母家的厨房♥里
Yeah. I just literally saw a picture of Vish and his ex-wife
看到了他和他前妻的合照
in a frame in his parents' kitchen.
天呐 他们为什么还保留着那种照片
Oh, God, why do they still have that?
-不知道 -能让我看看吗
- No idea. - Can I see it?
她就像个生气的小矮人
Oh, she's an angry little elf.
是啊 这让我心情有点糟糕 抱歉
Yeah, er... It's thrown me a bit, sorry.
今天很难熬
Long day.
听着 我不知道现在说这个合不合适 但是...
Listen, I don't know if this is a good time but--
我想着...
I was thinking...
-抱歉 肖娜 -没事
- Sorry, Shona. - It's OK.
那先挂了吧 我们可以回头再聊
I-I'll let you go. We can talk later.
好的 行 我回头打给你
Yeah, OK. All right, I'll call you back.
肖娜 你知道我们不在乎你生不生孩子
Shona, you know we don't care if you have children.
不 不是因为那个 只是...
Oh, no, no, it's not that. It's erm...
那可真尴尬
Oh, that's embarrassing.
不 没事 我能理解
No, it's fine, I get it.
那是他的第一段婚姻 所以...
I mean, it was his first marriage, it's...
肖娜 真的 我们只是喜欢那个相框
Shona, honestly, we just like the frame,
所以才一直留着
that is why we have it.
-真的吗 -真的 那女人就是个白♥痴♥
- Really? - Genuinely, and that woman was a complete idiot.
她觉得法国的首都是法兰西
She thought France was the capital of France.
真的吗
Did she?
我今天给你拍了一些很好看的照片
I've taken some really nice pictures of you today.
我会把那张照片换成你的
I'm going to put you in it instead.
不 你不用把我放进相框里的
Oh no, you don't need to put me in a frame.
虽然那个相框的确很漂亮
I mean, it's a very nice frame.
我希望你能帮我选一张 因为我总是选错
I want you to help me choose because I always get this wrong.
每次我把女性未修的照片
The women always get annoyed
放到网上 她们总是很生气
when I put their picture on Instagram without editing.
她们就想要瓦伦西亚滤镜 且不能面带微笑
All they want is a Valencia filter and no smiling.
那倒是不会差到哪里去
Wouldn't be the worst.
抱歉 这些太难看了
Sorry. They're awful.
所以太阳会把虫子烤熟是吗 太恶心了
So the sun is actually boiling up the worm? That's disgusting.
可怜的小虫子 它得进屋去才行
Poor little wormie, he needs to get inside.