朝上

腰部以上有衣服 没光着
Not from the waist up, no.
天呐 上帝保佑他
Jesus, God love him.
你就当做无事发生过
Just pretend it never happened.
这句是古老的家庭箴言
Ah, the old family motto.
肖娜
Shona!
那一拳真的打伤我的肩膀了
That literally actually hurt my arm.
不会 这拳会让你记住下次敲门
No, it'll teach you to knock next time.
你给灭鼠的人打电♥话♥了吗
Did you call your man?
老鼠什么时候能除干净
When are the rats out?
我都不知道你又开始吃鸡肉了
I didn't know you started eating chicken again.
你什么时候开始吃鸡肉的
When did you start eating chicken?
我以为你看过《奶牛阴谋》
I thought you watched Cowspiracy.
你的网飞账号♥上有观看记录
It says it in your Netflix.
-养牛最破坏环境 -是啊
- Cows are the worst. - Yeah.
鸡肉又不是牛肉 我知道你在用我的网飞账号♥
Chicken is not a cow and I knew you were logging into my Netflix.
就是你把我们的影片推荐搞得乱七八糟
You're the one who's been messing up our algorithms.
维希...
Vish...
真对不起
I am so sorry.
-这不好笑 -有一点点好笑
- It's not funny. - It's a little bit funny.
不好笑 这很恶心
It's not, it's disgusting.
我只是不习惯有男生在这里 还要敲门
It's just I'm not used to boys being here and having to knock.
我不想待在这里 但我也没办法
Well, I don't wanna stay here, but I have to
因为你姐姐讨厌住有独♥立♥卫生间
because your sister hates houses that have private bathrooms
和有地暖的房♥子
and underfloor heating.
三周前我把牙刷带过去了 这已经不错了
I moved my toothbrush in three weeks ago. That's enough for now.
我想你的时候 每天都和它一起睡觉
I go to bed with it every night when I miss you.
好了 我出去参加「告别单身」派对了
All right, I am off to stag it up.
祝你好运 听上去很糟糕
Good luck! Sounds like hell.
确实很糟糕 但他是我们这伙人中
It is, but he's the last one of our gang
最后一个结婚的 所以...
that's getting married, so...
除非我们之中有人再婚...
Unless one of us does it again...
等你打算和你前妻再婚时 通知我一下
Well, let me know when you plan to marry your ex-wife again.
反正她对我来说太矮了
She was too short for me, anyway.
好了 谢谢 爱你
All right. Thanks for this, love you.
我也爱你 维希
Oh, love you, too, Vish.
对于看到你大便的事 我要再跟你道个歉
I'm really sorry, again, about poo-gate.
那是...
OK, it was...
其实你不用整个周末都照顾她
You know, you don't have to take care of her all weekend.
这对你们两个都不好
It's not good for either one of you.
我没有 我要把她赶出去 让她去透透气
I'm not, I'm gonna kick her out, get her some fresh air.
-我保证 -好
- I promise. - Oh, OK.
-你需要放松 -好
- You need to relax. - Yes.
-放松点 -好 我知道
- Chill out. - Yes, I know!
-我没在工作 -好
- I'm not working. - Good.
我会放松的
I'm gonna chill out.
-再见 -再见
- Bye. - Bye.
-别被杀掉 -不会的 再见
- Don't get killed. - I won't. Bye!
再见 维希
Oh, bye, Vish.
你在派对上不能给别人看你的鸡♥巴♥
Um, when you're on the stag just don't show anyone your penis
因为只有我和肖娜能看 知道吗
cos that's just for Shona and me to see. OK?
再见
Bye.
你找的人在电♥话♥里怎么说
OK, what did your man say when you called him?
-什么 -你什么时候能回去
- What? - When are you getting back in?
老鼠吗
Oh, the rats?
理论上 它们应该明天就会死
Well, they'll all technically be dead by tomorrow,
但他们要做一些很恶心的事 比如
but then they have to do something awful, like,
把尸体捡出来之类的
scoop up the bodies afterwards, or something.
-所以我想...周一吧 -那我要说三件事
- So I think... Monday. - In that case three things.
夏洛特要来工作 不许告诉维希
Charlotte's coming over to work, don't tell Vish.
我最好的朋友 夏洛特
My best friend, Charlotte.
好好笑哦 所以你得消失
Well, very funny, so make yourself scarce.
什么
What?
肖娜
Shona...
我不能躲在你房♥间里吗
Can I not just hide in your room?
不行 让你躲起来我会不好意思
No, I'd feel bad asking you to do that.
所以你还是走吧
So, just, you know, leave instead.
-我去哪啊 -艾妮
- What am I gonna do? - Aine,
我不负责安排你的活动和生活 懂吗
I'm not your event and live planner, OK?
你自己想
Just figure it out.
大周六的 出去找点乐子
And it's Saturday, go do something fun.
好了
Ok.
第二件和第三件事
Second and third things.
我们在伦敦有一个表亲
We've got a cousin in London.
妈妈想让我们跟他走动一下
Mam wants us to hang out with him.
去他妈的 他是爱尔兰人吗
Oh, fuck that! Is he Irish?
我们必须得去
We have to, OK.
显然 爸爸去世后他们帮了不少忙
Apparently they were nice after daddy died.
什么
What?
是的 他们...
Yeah. They, um...
我不知道 他们出了些钱帮忙买♥♥棺材什么的
I don't know, they threw some money in for the coffin, or something.
我不知道 反正你得去跟他见个面
I don't know. Anyway, you gotta hang out with him.
我去不了 因为我手上的事太多了
I can't cos I've too much on.
-那个男的是爱尔兰人 -谁 我们的表亲吗
- Oh, and this lad's Irish. - Who, our cousin?
是的 不 但我说的是我要给你介绍的男人
Yeah, but no, the lad I'm gonna fix you up with.
-不要 肖娜 -不行
- No! Shona. - Yes.
-我不想... -我发誓你会爱上他的
- I don't want... - I swear to you you will love him.
-不要 -我认识他 他就在我楼下工作
- No. - I know him, he works on the floor below me.
-不见 不见 不见 -他人很好
- No, no, no. - He's nice,
有点怪 跟你一样
a little bit weird, like you.
不要相亲 我的天呐
No set-ups, oh, my God.
你有牙线真是太好了
I'm glad you've got dental floss.
我的后牙缝里塞了一点芹菜
I've had a bit of celery stuck in my back tooth
已经三天了
for, like, three days.
艾妮 在水槽边用牙线
Aine, floss over the sink.
别在我房♥子里到处走
Don't walk around my house
到处散播细菌
getting flexible bacteria all over the place.
好了 那...
OK, so...
你出去转转吧 怎么样
Why don't you head out for a bit. Yeah?
你在这个房♥子里 跟我在一起待一整天
It's not good for you to be hanging around the house all day.
对你不太好
Or, just with me.
好 知道了
Yeah, OK.
如果你要留在这 我要给妈妈打视频电♥话♥
Well, if you're sticking around I'm gonna Skype mam
你就能跟她聊聊天
and you can have a chat with her.
-不要 肖娜 -怎么了
- No, Shona. - What?
你不用威胁我
You don't need to threaten me.
我没有 我的天呐 我没威胁你
I'm not. Oh, my God. I'm not threatening you.
天呐 好了 我会离开这个充满谎言和欺骗的房♥子
God! Fine! I'll leave this house full of lies and deceit.
就像只老鼠一样被熏出去
Smoked out, like a rat.
听着 你反正也要给她打个电♥话♥
Look, you have to call her, anyway.
-你已经很久没跟她通话了 -是 我会...
- You haven't talked to her in ages. - Yeah, I'll...
等我走了之后 我们可以给她打视频电♥话♥
We can Skype her later when I'm not here.
我的天呐 你真是个小孩
Oh, my God, you're such a baby.
你就是个小屁孩
You're a brat!
怎么了 我上周给她发了消息
What? I text her last week
看看她是不是还活着 所以...
to see if she was dead, so...
一点都不好笑 不许那么说
That's not even funny, don't say that.
肖娜 你不能两次都打同一个地方
Shona! You can't do the same place twice.
这是犯法的
It's illegal.
-再见 -再见
- Bye. - Bye!
一对一通灵
你今天为何会来到这里
What brings you here today?
可能是为了问姻缘 这是永恒的话题
So maybe romance, I suppose, that's kind of a classic.
有没有认为我不是个彻头彻尾的烂人的人
Anyone coming along who thinks I'm not totally shite.
好的
Ok.
我得先入定
I'll just check-in.
你的归宿非常女性化
Your ownish is very female.
天呐 我是要跟一个女人相爱了吗
Oh, my God, am I gonna fall in love with a woman?
-别打断 -抱歉
- Don't interrupt. - Sorry.
男性能量对你来说非常新奇
Male energy is very exotic to you.
你对于男性能量非常痴迷 让你震撼
You're very star-struck by male energy.
没错