英村脑残故事（2017）

What?
怎么了
Did you tell people to come down?
你有叫人过来看吗
Yeah. Yeah?
嗯 真的么
The thing is though, it's buzzing up there.
不过 关键是 那边热闹着呢
It really is buzzing. All right, yeah.
真的是很热闹 喔 是么
It's that Dalek though. Yeah.
不过是那个戴立克星人的功劳 嗯
It is brilliant.
妙的很
It's just so... Yeah, he's brilliant.
真的是太 嗯 他很厉害啊
It's so funny, right. I had a picture taken with him. Yeah.
超搞笑的 对吧 我和他合了张影 是嘛
If you take that and just scroll to the left. Great, yeah.
手♥机♥给你拿着吧 向左划就好了 好的 行
Brilliant. Oh, that's a great one. Isn't it?
厉害了 喔 这张不错 是吗
That's another good one. I love it.
这张也不错 我喜欢
I love them all. That one especially.
全部都好喜欢啊 特别是这张
Brilliant!
太棒了
What the actual fuck?
我♥操♥你有病啊
What the actual fuck?
我♥操♥ 你是有病啊
You have fucking lost your head, mate.
你♥他♥妈♥抽什么风 哥们
You have lost your fucking head.
你♥他♥妈♥抽什么风
I swear to God,
我话先撂这了
if my phone is smashed, you are paying for that.
我手♥机♥要是被砸坏了 你就等着赔钱吧
Dickhead!
脑残
To be honest,
实话实说
when Kurtan gets like this he's a fucking psycho.
当Kurtan这样搞起来的时候 真♥他♥妈♥神经病一个
Levi? Who's is that?
Levi 这是谁的
June's.
June的
Where is she?
她去哪了
Getting a cup of tea.
去倒茶喝了
It doesn't matter what anyone tells you,
别人怎么说并不要紧
everyone's here for one reason and that's to win.
每个人来这都只有一个目的 就是要赢
Sometimes you just got to
有时候你就得
throw someone else under the bus to save yourself,
舍人救己 直接把别人扔到车轮下面
especially if they're old and stupid, like June.
像June这种又老又蠢 就更要舍了
Roll up! Right, come on.
瞧一瞧看一看 来嘛
Guys, have you seen this?
嘿 你们看过这个了么
Have you got your voting slip there?
你有拿到你的投票单吗
A voting slip?
什么投票单
Voting slip. You can get them from the stall for 1 pound.
投票单就是 你可以去那个摊位买♥♥一张也就花个1英镑
Go back and get one from there and then come straight back here,
去那买♥♥上一张 然后直接回来这
I'll tell you what to do, yeah? Quick!
我来告诉你怎么弄 明白吗 赶快
Hello! Over here!
你好 看这里
Vote for me!
投我一票
Have you got your voting slips?
你拿到投票单了吗
Yes, right. OK, so what you want to do, put the cross as Kurtan,
就是这个 你要做的是 在Kurtan那个选项划一下
that's my one there.
那个就是我的稻草人
Yeah.
好的
Vote that one for the winner.
为赢家投上一票吧
Yeah, that's it, hide behind the little Dalek.
没错 好样的 躲在个小戴立克星人里面
You are a massive bell end.
你个大傻♥逼♥
Ow, don't fucking... Yeah?
嗷 别他妈 你说什么
When I get hold of you, I swear to God I will fucking deck you.
你要是敢出来 我他妈保证揍死你
Fuck's sake, Kurtan.
我靠 这个Kurtan
Every year he's like this.
每年他都搞这样一出
Yes, I swore at David in the Dalek
是 我是骂了在戴立克星人里的David
but listen, it was only cos I saw him
但是你听我说 这完全是因为我看到
stealing money out of a charity bucket was going around.
他从流动慈善桶里偷钱
So I'm actually proud I swore at him.
所以骂了他 我其实挺自豪的
That's a very serious allegation you're making.
你现在所指控的罪行是相当恶劣的
Yeah, I know.
嗯 没错
If you're not telling the truth,
你要是说了假话
you could be in serious trouble.
你会有大♥麻♥烦的
Yeah. I know.
嗯 我知道
But if you are telling me the truth,
不过 要是你说的是实话
we need to go to the police station immediately.
那我们得要立即向警方汇报
Do you understand?
你听明白了么
Yeah.
嗯
Are you telling me the truth?
你说的是实话么
No.
不是
Excuse me, Vicar.
打扰一下 牧师
Everything OK, June?
出什么事了么
I went to get a cup of tea and I left my scarecrow
我刚走开一下去弄杯茶喝
and when I got back it just...
等我回来一看 稻草人就
I don't know where it's gone.
我不知道它哪去了
Well, it can't have gone far, I'm sure.
呃 它肯定还在附近 绝对的
Shall we have a look for it?
我们一起来找找看吧
It was over there. It's just gone.
它之前还在那的 就那么不见了
Maybe it got moved, someone got confused about the pitch.
或许是有人搞错展位 就把它移走了
Well, who would have moved it, Vicar?
谁会把它挪走啊 牧师
We'll have a look.
我们去看一下
June stitched me up right royally
June堂而皇之地陷害了我
but that just spurs me on, mate,
但这样正好激发了我的斗志
cos if they want to play dirty, that's fine by me.
要是他们想使阴招的话 我奉陪到底
I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, I'm telling you now.
我招数多着呢 我跟你讲
Can you hear that?
你听到了么
Ah!
哈
Hello? Mum!
你好 妈
Why are you crying?
你哭什么呀
They've done what?
他们干了什么
Sick bastard!
乌龟王八蛋
It's all right, Mum, calm down, yeah?
没事的 妈 冷静下 好吗
I'm on my way now, OK?
我现在就过来 好么
All right. Bye.
好的 拜拜
Someone's just been throwing plums at my house.
有人在朝我家房♥子扔李子
I'm going to kill them.
我要去杀了他们
I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
怎么会这样 怎么会这样
All over this.
满桌子都是
Plumming on here, plumming on that.
这里一个李子 那里一个李子
Plum on the sofa, look!
沙发上都有 你看
There's nothing left that hasn't been plummed.
找不到块干净的地方了
Oh, my gosh.
哦 我的天呐
I knew this would happen.
我已经预料到会有这种事
Can you see what it's like to be me now?
你现在明白我的处境了么
I've had a target on my back since the day I was born.
从小到大我受尽欺负
Right, that's your bag there
嗯 袋子给你
and the field's just down there on the right, OK?
田就在那了 在右手边 听清楚了吧
Thank you very much. Thank you very much,
非常感谢 非常感谢
enjoy your free potatoes.
免费土豆尽管拿吧
All right, Len? Is this right?
怎么了 Len 那是真的吗
Someone said something about free potatoes.
有些人说这里有免费土豆派送的事
Yeah, you got your voting slip there?
没错 你带投票单了吗
What? Voting slip.
啥 投票单
- Oh.
哦
Yes, yes, that one there.
对 对 就是那个
Right, that's my name there.
好了 我的名字在那
All you've got to do, yeah,
你需要做的就是
pop that in the box at the end of the day.
在今天快结束的时候把这放进投票箱
Here's your bag and you can help yourself to as many free potatoes.
给你袋子 免费土豆随意自取
Yeah. Just down there on the right,
好 就在那块地儿的右边
big field in front of you, right?
一大块田地在你眼前 是吧
All right.
好的
Cheers, Len. But don't forget to put the slip in the box, yeah?
谢了 Len 可别忘了把单子放进投票箱 记住了吧
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
记住了 放心吧
I can trust you, Len, yeah?
我能信得过你 Len 是吧
Yes.
当然
You all right, sir, happy?
怎么样啊 先生 满意吗
Yeah. Nice little jacket potatoes for tonight for the wife.
棒棒的 晚上做一顿美味的烤土豆给老婆吃
Thank you very much, your vote is much appreciated.
太谢谢您了 非常感谢您的投票
So, Mr Jenkins says you were giving away bags and bags of potatoes.
是这样 Jenkins先生说你刚才在分发袋子跟袋装土豆
No. That's a total exaggeration.
不 这绝对是在夸大其词
It was like five potatoes, not even that.
就发了大概5个土豆 甚至都不到5个
And he also said you sold one of his pigs for 200 pounds.
他还说你以200英镑的价格卖♥♥了他的一头猪