英村脑残故事（2017）

Yeah, sorry, Dad.
嗯 抱歉 爸
Right, see you in a minute, then.
那一会儿见
I am raging now.
我生气了
I'm proper raging, mate.
我现在相当生气 兄弟
Kayleigh!
Kayleigh
I've been looking everywhere for you.
我到处找你
You all right? Yeah.
你还好吗 嗯
Did he touch you? Who?
他碰你了吗 谁
Kerry's dad. No.
Kerry她爸 没有
He peeped on you, didn't he?
他偷♥窥♥你了 是不是
No. If he exposed himself to you, yeah,
没 如果他在你面前裸♥露♥
I promise you I'll kill him with my own hands, yeah.
我向你保证 我会亲手杀了他的
He didn't.
他没有
Well, he must have done something for you to run away,
好 那他肯定做了什么 你才跑开的
because that just doesn't happen.
因为不可能你就这样跑开啊
All right? Here's a tip, Kurtan,
怎么了 给你个建议Kurtan
next time you take a chick out on a date,
下次要是约妹子出来
don't bore her to tears.
可别把她们无聊哭了
As if.
说得跟真的似得
Kayleigh, did I bore you to tears?
Kayleigh我让你无聊哭了吗
Oh, my God.
天哪
You ran away cos I was boring you?
你之所以跑开 是因为我让你无聊了
Is this a joke?
你开玩笑吧
Look, let me take you out tomorrow, yeah, and we can just like...
听着 让我明天再约你出来 我们就能
I can't. Why?
我不能 为什么
I got a boyfriend.
我有男朋友了
Who?
谁啊
Slugs?
Slugs
Seriously?
你说真的吗
Oh, my God.
哦 天哪
I told my nan about you and everything.
我都告诉我奶奶你和你所有的事了
She was so excited about meeting you.
她因为要见到你可开心了
Fuck...
妈的
Roses are red
玫瑰红红滴
Violets are blue
罗兰蓝蓝滴
I've got five fingers
五根手指头
The third one's for you.
中指竖给你
And you.
还有你
Fucking hell.
真你妈
Did you see that there? I am glad I'm out of that now.
你刚看到了吗 我真高兴我现在脱身了
Utter poison, the pair of them.
真有毒 这对活宝
Fucking hell.
真♥他♥妈♥
Dodged a bullet there, I think.
算是躲过一劫 我觉得
Thing is now, though,
情况是这样的
I feel bad for calling Martin a dirty peeper.
我很内疚 骂Martin是下作的偷♥窥♥狂
Do you know what? He might not even be a peeper after all.
你知道为什么吗 他可能从来都没偷♥窥♥过
But if he is, he's probably just a part-time peeper.
就算偷♥窥♥了 也可能偶尔才偷♥窥♥下
I just don't know why you'd say it.
我只是不明白 你为什么会说那种话
I know, I said I'm sorry, though, Ker.
我知道 我说了我很抱歉 Ker
Yeah, but it's not me you need to apologise to, it's my dad.
嗯 但你不用跟我道歉 该去对我爸说
Yeah, I will. So why did she run away, anyway?
嗯 我会的 那她为什么要跑开呢
Well...I didn't want to say,
呃 我不想说
but apparently you gave her the creeps.
但 显然是你吓到她了
What? Why? Your face creeped her out.
什么 为什么 你的脸吓死她了
So as much as I've got to apologise to you and your dad,
跟我得向你还有你♥爸♥道歉一样
you've actually got to apologise to me.
你其实也得向我道歉
All right, well, sorry, Kurts.
好吧 抱歉Kurts
Forgiven. Dad, Kurtan's got something to say to you.
原谅你了 爸 Kurtan有话要跟你说
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
Just packing. What, for our flight to Australia?
打个包 为啥 为我们澳洲的航♥班♥吗
Yeah. It's a simulator, Dad, you don't need to pack a bag.
嗯 这只是一个模拟器 爸 你不用真打包
Hang on. What's this?
等等 这是什么
"Gone back to Sandra, cheers, all the best."
"我回Sandra那了 拜拜 祝一切顺利"
You're going back Sandra's? Yeah.
你要回Sandra那 嗯
But aren't we going to do our flight to Australia?
但我们不是要开航♥班♥飞往澳洲吗
No. But I thought it was just me and you now, Dad.
不 说好的相依为命呢 爸
Ah, I got to go.
啊 我得走了
You ain't going anywhere, mate.
你哪都不许去 兄弟
Get out of my way, pipe cleaner.
起开 你个臭屌♥丝
You can't do this to Ker.
你不能这么对Ker
You'd be letting her down again.
你会让她再次失望的
Again. I don't need this.
再一次 我才不管这些
Fuck off.
滚开
Don't touch me, mate. Don't fight.
别碰我 兄弟 别打架
I'm gonna lay you out.
我要放倒你
Come on, then! Come on. No, stop it.
你来啊 来吧 别 住手
Right. I'll knock you out.
好 我要把你打昏
Yeah, just try it, mate. Come on, then, Charlie large potatoes.
来试试啊 兄弟 来啊 大人物
I don't land the first punch, I play Gypsy rules.
我不会先动手的 吉普赛法则 以眼还眼
Yeah, well, so do I.
嗯 我也是
You're going to fight, are you?
你们还打不打了
Still kick you, though. Pathetic.
脚还是要动的 真可悲
Cock.
混♥蛋♥
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Flight 730
女士们先生们 欢迎乘坐730号♥航♥班♥
departing London Heathrow.
从伦敦希思罗机场起飞
This is your captain Kerry Mucklowe speaking.
现在是机长Kerry Mucklowe为您播报
Our flight time is 24 hours and should arrive in Brisbane
我们的航程持续24小时 将抵达布里斯班
at approximately 1100 hours local time.
当地时间约为11点
This is a solo flight.
这是一次单人飞行
Don't let Sandra know,
别让Sandra知道
but on the last Thursday of every month I shag Alan's wife senseless.
每个月的最后一个周四我都会把Alan的老婆干昏死过去
He says, "Martin, I can't get it up no more,
他说"Martin 我没办法勃起了"
"You're hung like an oxen..."
"你屌♥大得像头牛"
Yeah. "..So give her a good stuffing to stop her nagging."
嗯 "所以让她好好爽爽别再唠叨了"
And that's exactly what I does.
而我正是这么做的
I gives her the full works.
我让她爽翻了
Alan occasionally comes in
Alan有时候还会进来
to get a pair of socks but personally I think
拿双袜子什么的 但我个人觉得
he just comes in to see how I does it.
他就是想进来看看我是怎么做的
And afterwards we all go down the Keeper's and he buys me a pint.
然后 我们都去Keeper酒吧 他会请我喝一品脱酒