英村脑残故事（2017）

You don't get it, do you?
你没懂是吧
Right. I want these delivered...
好了 把这些
to every house in the village, tonight.
送到村里每一家 今晚完成
I mean it.
我说真的
And stop with the attitude as well.
而且别给我耍态度
Thing is, I don't know what you actually do.
其实 我都不知道你究竟是做什么的
Business.
做生意啊
I've really...
我真的
..Really had it today.
今天真的受够了
And she was like,
之后她说
"Oh, you've got to hand out all these leaflets by tonight."
"哦 你今晚之前必须把这些传♥单♥都发了"
And I was like, "Whatever, orc-slammer.
我说 "我管你呢 兽人辣妹"
Kiss my arse. Oh, my God, you can't do that!
我去你♥妈♥的♥ 天呢 你不能这么干吧
Mental! Can do what I want.
疯子 我想干嘛干嘛
Watch this, then.
看我这个
Parkour.
跑酷
I can't do that.
我可干不了这个
Yeah, it's nice having new mates, to be honest.
是啊 有新弟兄们挺好的 说真的
Not being bossed around by Baron Greenback.
不用被绿背蛙男爵使唤
It's great, as well, cos they're proper lads.
这也很棒 因为他们都是正经弟兄们
And, honestly, when we lot get together,
而且 讲真 咱哥几个一起玩的时候
we are proper mad bastards.
咱简直是狂拽霸天啊
Oh, my God! Did you see the look on the vicar's face then?
我去 你看见刚刚那牧师的表情了吗
He was livid, wasn't he? Yeah, he was livid.
他气炸了 是不是 对啊 他气炸了
That was madness, man. That was...
太疯狂了 兄弟 真是
He was fuming!
他都气冒烟了
When I see them three together,
我看到他们仨的时候
I think...
我觉得
we could have another Columbine on our hands.
我们可能会重现哥伦拜恩事件
And that's very scary.
那就很吓人了
Look at the clouds - look how mad they are!
你们看看云彩 看它们多拽
They're crazy.
太炫了
Don't you just think sometimes
你们不觉得么 有时候
you look at the clouds and you just think...
你看着云彩 你就觉得
Sometimes you look at the sky and you think
有时候你看着云彩 你就想
how insignificant that all is. Yeah.
一切都是那么无关紧要 是啊
Yeah, do this.
这样做
Put your hands like that.
这样把你手合起来
Yeah, open them up, look inside.
对 分开手 往里面看
That's what they actually look like. Ugh...
它们就长这样的 呕
Look at this stupid bloke here. Look at him.
你们看这个二♥逼♥ 看看他
Look how stupid he is.
看他有多二♥逼♥
Do you reckon he saw that?
你们觉得他看见了吗
He's coming out!
他要下车了
He's coming! He's coming!
他过来了 他过来了
Yeah, he's not coming.
好吧 他不来了
He was going to, though.
他本来是要过来的
He was livid, wasn't he?
他挺生气的 对吧
Yeah, he was.
对啊
Yeah, I was supposed to be delivering leaflets for Kerry,
是啊 我本来要给Kerry发传♥单♥的
but fuck it.
但是去她妈的
I ain't running round for her like a blue-arsed fly no more.
我才不再像没头苍蝇似的给她跑前跑后了
And, anyway, she's promoted Levi above me now.
而且吧 她把Levi提拔到我上面了
And he's only ten.
他才十岁
And he can't sleep without a night-light.
没有夜灯他都睡不着
So, how'd it go last night?
昨晚怎么样啊
Yeah, pretty good.
啊 挺好的
Er, delivered all the leaflets round all the houses.
呃 把所有的传♥单♥都发了 每户都发了
Even went down Charlie Bottom Farm,
连特雷利山脚农场都去了
which was quite a trek, but I don't mind.
走了挺久的 但是我不介意
Erm...
嗯
Yeah, it's actually quite surprising how many houses
对啊 我也其实挺惊讶的 这个村里
are in this village, as well.
居然有这么多户人家
But, no - it was great, all in all.
所以 挺好的 整体上
Levi, get them pictures up on your phone.
Levi 把你手♥机♥上照片找出来
500 leaflets,
500传♥单♥
just dumped in the stream.
扔河里了
Have you been here all night? Yeah.
你是一整晚都在这么 是
You really need to go home.
你真的该回家了
Your mum's called the police and everything.
你妈都报♥警♥了
Are you serious? Yeah.
你认真的吗 是啊
OK, go home now.
好 现在回家
But, if anyone asks, you fell asleep by accident, OK?
但是 如果有人问 你就说你不小心睡着了 行吧
Go home, now.
现在回家
What was he doing here all night? Filing.
他在这一晚上干啥了 整理档案
Do you think I'm going to get in trouble?
你觉得我是不是有麻烦了
Are those debt letters? No.
那些是债务信吗 不是
And you're fired, by the way.
你被炒了 跟你说一声
What? And you're also
什么 而且你
fired from being my best mate, by the way.
也别当我哥们了 跟你说一声
Well, I have new mates anyway, by the way.
反正我也新哥们了哦 跟你说一声
Oh, what - the nerds?
谁啊 那些书呆子吗
No. They're not nerds.
不 他们不是书呆子
They have names like human beings, actually.
他们是正经人 有名字的
Oh, yeah? What are their names, then?
哦 是吗 他们叫什么
Count Fartula and Weak Nathan.
屁古啦公爵和弱奈森
Sorry, I couldn't quite hear that.
抱歉 我没听清楚
Count Fartula and Weak Nathan.
屁古啦公爵和弱奈森
They're honestly not nerds, though.
可他们真不是书呆子
They're just my mates, they look up to me.
他们是我的兄弟们 他们都崇拜我
What, so that makes you king of the nerds?
是吗 那你不就是呆子之王了
Do you know what, yeah? You're just a bully.
你知道吗 你就是个恶霸
And you've been conned in some shitty little pyramid scheme.
你还被些垃圾传销体系给坑了
Well, it's a multilevel management scheme, so get it right.
这是个多层管理体系 你别乱说
And the juice tastes like ass.
而且这汁味道像屁♥股♥一样
No, it doesn't. Yes, it does.
才不像 就是像
No, it doesn't. Drink some now, then.
才不像 那你喝几口吧
No, because I'm not thirsty, so what's the point?
不 我又不渴 喝它干什么
That's cos you know it tastes like ass. No.
因为你知道这是屁♥股♥味 不是
It is! Drink some now.
就是 喝几口
If you believe in this business so much, yeah, you drink some.
如果你真的相信这门生意 你就喝
I don't mind drinking it. It doesn't bother me.
我不讨厌喝它 我不反感
Excellent.Now, have some now.
太好了 那现在喝点吧
Swallow.
吞了
Tastes like ass, doesn't it?
一股屁♥股♥味是不是
That's all I wanted. I'll see you later.
我就想看这个 待会见
Embarrassment, you are.
你真丢人
In business, there will always be setbacks.
经商途中 总会有挫折的
I don't drink my own juice,
我不喝我的果汁
Fray Bentos doesn't eat his own pies.
弗赖本托斯也不吃他自己的派
But that's business.
但做生意就是这样啊
Yes!
好
I'm not assed about being fired.
被炒鱿鱼了我并不生气
Gives me more time playing Warhammer.
留给我更多时间玩<战锤>
Having said that, the lads are getting a bit annoying now.
提到这个 兄弟们现在有点烦人了
Since when have you had the Forbidden Forest?
你们什么时候有禁林的
Since I bought it off the Troll King in the last round.
自从我上一局从一个巨魔王手里买♥♥来的啊
Please keep up.
记清楚点好吗
Oh, my God...
我的老天爷
They just love playing by the rules.
他们太喜欢循规蹈矩了
Sort of sucks the fun out of everything.
一切都被他们搞无聊了
Do you know what, I don't actually want to play this any more,
实际上 我不想玩这个了
because it is actually very, very boring.
因为它真的 真的很无聊
Erm, hello, Shaz.
呃 你好 Shaz
Erm, I've left you a few messages before.
呃 我给你留了好几条留言了
This is Kerry from the Cotswold area...
我是科茨沃尔德地区的Kerry
So Shaz's phone ain't working, which is a bit weird,
Shaz的手♥机♥坏了 有点奇怪
because all I wanted to do is ask her
因为我只是想请教她
how she makes any money from these juices,
她是怎么靠蔬果汁挣钱的
because, at the moment, I'm losing money
因为 目前来说 我亏本了