英村脑残故事（2017）

And I've got a few concerns about it.
现在我对大学生活有几点担心
Firstly, this guy on the front looks really arrogant.
首先 封面上这个家伙看起来很傲慢
Not the sort of guy I was expecting, if I'm honest.
说实话 并不是我期待中的那种人
Well, the big day is approaching
随着开学日期的来临
and I can tell Kurtan is a little anxious.
看得出来Kurtan有点小焦虑
This morning, we had a few effs and jeffs flying around,
今天早上 我们发生了点小摩擦
but that's totally understandable, as he's on edge.
但这完全可以理解 因为他很焦躁不安
I ain't joking now, Vicar.
我可不是在开玩笑 牧师
This is starting to stress me out a little bit.
我现在开始有点紧张了
Look, Kurtan, I'm sure
听着 Kurtan 我相信
the pattern on the carpets in the classrooms
教室里地毯的花纹
aren't going to be a problem.
对你来说不会是个问题
How many times do I have to tell you?
我还要告诉你多少次
Swirls on carpets freak me the fuck out.
地毯上的漩涡吓死我了
What if I have an epileptic fit?
万一我要有癫痫呢
I'm feeling light-headed just thinking about it.
光是想一想我就头晕
Kurtan, I know you're feeling a bit anxious, it's a big step,
Kurtan 我知道你有点焦虑 这次是很大的迈进
but it's normal to feel this way.
有这种感觉是很正常的
And another thing.
还有一件事
I've been looking at the menu in the cafeteria, yeah,
我最近一直在看餐厅的菜单
and I wonder if you could be so kind in telling me
我想你能不能大发慈悲地告诉我
what the fuck is pesto?
香蒜酱是他妈什么东西
So, as I say, he's a bit on edge,
如我所言 他有点焦躁不安
but we've had a good chat
但我们谈得还不错
and I think he's, erm...really looking forward to it again now.
我猜 他现在又再次期待起大学生活了
I don't want to be saying this again.
我不想再重复一遍
If you want to get into Dump Gang headquarters, use the door.
如果你要进垃圾帮总部 走门好吗
That's what it's for.
这才是门的意义所在
'Yeah, I haven't seen Kurtan in a while.'
我最近没怎么见到Kurtan
But I'm doing all right.
但我一个也挺好的
I've got the Dump Gang and we're tight as fuck.
我还有垃圾帮 成员关系比菊花还紧
You know, it's so simple.
这很简单的
All you have to do is go, "Knock-knock. Who's there? Slugs.
你要做的就是 "敲 敲 谁啊 我是Slugs"
"What's the password?
"报上暗号♥"
"Dump Gang. Can I come in?
"垃圾帮 我能进来吗"
"Yes, you can come in, because you did it correctly."
"是的 请进 因为这是进门的正解"
You know?
知道吗
You all right, Kerry? No, I'm not all right!
你还好吗 Kerry 不 一点都不好
Just, people just need to start, you know,
就是 人们需要开始
treating this place with some respect.
尊重这个地方
Who gave Molehill the hoover bag hat? He's banned!
谁给Molehill这个胡佛帽的 他不能戴的
He went to the toilet in the office.
他之前去办公室上厕所
Just give me that, now.
快给我 快点
Everyone, Pork Chop, get everyone out, please.
所有人 猪排 让大家出去 好吗
Use the door!
走门啊
Use the door!
走门
Just...
就不能
Thank you, Pork Chop.
谢谢 猪排
So...the coach leaves in half an hour.
教练半个小时后出发
Yes. I'm not dumb, Vicar.
知道 我又不傻 牧师
Why are you trying to stress me out?
你为什么总是吓我
You know I'm already stressed out as it is.
你明知道我已经紧张得要死了
It's all right, Kurtan, come on. Everything is going to be fine.
没事的 Kurtan 加油 一切都会好起来的
It's a shame Kurtan's gone,
Kurtan走了真是太可惜了
because, just this minute, I've come up with a business idea...
就在刚才 我想到一个绝妙的商业主意
That he would have absolutely lapped up like a thirsty mule.
他肯定会像一头饥渴的蠢驴一般跪舔我的
It's basically this idea
主意是这样的
for a taxi company called Aardvark Taxis,
开一家名叫阿奥瓦克的的士公♥司♥
because aardvark's got two As in it,
因为阿奥瓦克的前两个字母是A
so it's the first in the phonebook.
所以阿奥瓦克一定会在通讯录的第一个
So when you open up the phonebook, it's the first one you see.
当你打开通讯录 你第一个就会看到它
And on the open day, I'm going to dress up like an aardvark
开张当天 我还要穿成阿奥瓦克(食蚁兽)的样子
and hand out balloons with a taxi number to little kiddies.
把写有出租车编号♥的气球分发给小孩子
What's the password?
报上暗号♥
I found that Pog of yours.
我找到你的瓶盖了
Do you still want it?
你还要吗
Can you just post it through the letterbox, please?
那你能从信箱那里递过来吗 谢了
Is that position still going for fastest in the gang?
帮里那个飞毛腿的职位还缺人吗
No, Molehill's got it now by default.
不招了 默认给Molehill了
Well...
好吧
I've decided to take a gap year out now, so...
我决定过一个间隔年 所以
if you need someone to hold the title for a year, I could do it.
如果你还需要人撑这个名号♥撑一年的话 我可以
What, so you ain't going now?
啥 这会儿你又不去了
Well, I'm still going,
去还是会去的
but I'm going to take a gap year out first,
只是我要先过一个间隔年
just to prepare for it and that.
就好好准备下什么的
Can I come in?
我能进来吗
What's the password? What is the password?
报上暗号♥ 暗号♥是什么
Dump Gang. Dump Gang.
垃圾帮 垃圾帮
Come in.
请进
How's the vicar?
牧师怎么样了
Just disappointed.
很失望
How's his ball bag?
他的蛋蛋怎么样了
It just turned black and dropped off, I think.
我想可能变黑 下垂了吧
I really liked the way you used the door.
我很欣赏你是从门进来的
I really like how...
我很欣赏
You respect my curtains.
你尊重我的刘海
Yeah, because they're fucking sweet.
当然 因为他妈好看哪
Oh, careful!
小心点
Sorry.
抱歉
Can you help me down?
你能帮我一下吗
Here comes the fat king!
肥胖之王大驾光临
Here is the king!
国王驾到
The fat...
肥胖
Argh!
啊
Look at that.
你看呐
We wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
我们哪也不会想去的
This is our country!
这是我们的乡村(国家)
This country is ours!
这个村子(国家)是我们的