英村脑残故事（2017）

研究表明 如今在英国农村地区的年轻人感到前所未有的边缘化
为了深入了解这个问题 英国广播公♥司♥花了6个月时间在一个典型的科兹沃尔德地区村庄跟拍一些年轻人
oO统治本村
シx永ヘ远
We did that.
这是我们写的
"Darren Lacey is granny-bashing scum."
"Darren Lacey是个揍奶奶的人♥渣♥"
We should probably scrub that out. Yeah.
我们可能该把这个抹掉了 是的
Turned out his granny was actually bashing him in.
结果他奶奶才是揍人的那个
With a fire poker, weren't it?
用烧火棍揍的 是吧
Yeah, we should change that. Yeah.
是啊 我们应该把这行字改一下 嗯
"Granny is Darren Lacey-bashing scum."
"奶奶是揍Darren Lacey的人♥渣♥"
Yeah. Yeah.
嗯 嗯
Kerry phoned me the other day at three in the morning saying,
Kerry前几天凌晨三点给我打电♥话♥说
"Come quick, there's a hedgehog in the garden
"快来 花♥园♥里有只刺猬"
"That looks exactly like Grandad."
"长得和爷爷一模一样"
So I got up, I got dressed
然后我就起来了 穿戴好了
and I ran over to Kerry's as fast as I could
急匆匆赶去Kerry家
and then I just stopped in the middle of the street
然后我就在路中间停住了
at three in the morning and thought,
当时凌晨三点 我想
"What the fuck am I doing with my life?"
"我特么这辈子到底在干什么"
I just can't open it.
我不敢拆开它
I just... I cannot open it.
我就是不敢拆开它
Oh, my God. I cannot open it, Vicar.
哦 我的天哪 我不敢拆 牧师
Do you want me to open it? No, I'll open it, snatchy!
你想要我帮你拆吗 不 我来拆 你个多手的
Actually, yeah, you open it.
算了 还是你来拆吧
I'm trying to encourage them to look beyond the confines of the village
我试着鼓励他们眼光要超出这个小村子的局限
and think about their futures
想想自己的未来
and maybe look at the bigger picture
或者从更大的格局考虑
and have bigger dreams for themselves.
然后 能有更远大的梦想
They said yes.
他们同意了
You're joking me?
你开玩笑吗
You're joking me?
你是在开玩笑吗
Because if you are joking me, that is massively harsh.
因为如果你是开玩笑的话 那也太残忍♥了
I'm not joking, Kurtan. You've got it.
我没有在开玩笑 Kurtan 你成功了
Seriously?
真的吗
No way!
意想不到啊
Oh, my God!
哦 我的天哪
Seriously? Yeah.
真的吗 是啊
Get in!
我进了
Oh, let me get a song up on YouTube.
哦 让我在油管上找首歌♥吧
You're going to absolutely love this, Vicar.
你绝对会爱上这首歌♥的 牧师
Here we go...
来了
Listen to this. Oh, for fuck's sake, advert.
听听吧 我类个擦 广♥告♥
This isn't it. This isn't it.
这个不是歌♥ 不是哈
Here we go, this is it.
来了 听歌♥吧
**Always spend my life alone*
*总是孤单度日
**Been searching for the place called home*
*寻找一个叫家的地方
**I know that I've been cold as ice...*
*我知我冷若冰山
Can you feel the warmth, Vicar?
你能感觉到温暖吗 牧师
**Ignored the dreams, too many lies*
*忘记这些梦想吧 充斥着太多谎言
**Somewhere deep inside*
*我内心深处
**Somewhere deep inside me*
*我内心深处
**I found the child I used to be*
*我遇见了童年的自己
**And I know that it's not too late*
*我知道这不会太晚
**Never too late...*
*永远不晚
Vicar, wait for this, Vicar. Honestly.
牧师 等等 牧师 真的
**3am!*
*凌晨三点
Wait for it. This is brilliant.
等等 后面棒呆了
**The painted cow*
*彩色的牛
Wait for it. This is it.
等下哈 要来了
Wait for the top.
这首歌♥的高♥潮♥就要来了
**Hiaaaaa!*
*嗨哎哎哎
**I am the junglist soldier...*
*我是丛林战士
Vicar!
牧师
No, no. Kurtan, no, not the cross.
不 不 Kurtan 你不能动十字架
Banging.
嗨翻了
Did you see that?
感受到了吗
That was insane, wasn't it?
简直让人疯狂啊 是吧
Let's go down the pub and get shitfaced.
我们去酒吧喝个烂醉吧
Come on.
来啊
Have you ever done a pill, Vicar? No.
你嗑过药吗 牧师 没有
Thanks to the Vicar helping me and that,
多亏了牧师的帮助
I got a place doing a GNVQ
我可以去斯文顿大学考全国普通职业证书
in health and social care at Swindon College
读健康与社会关怀专业
and I'm going to be moving there in halls and everything.
我要搬去那住宿舍什么的
So, yeah, I'm basically going to start doing something with my life.
所以 我算正式开始为我的人生做打算了
I think it's wonderful you want to help people, Kurtan.
我觉得你想帮助别人这一点非常不错 Kurtan
It's amazing I got in, isn't it, Vics?
我能进也太赞了 是不 牧老哥
How many people do you reckon applied but didn't get in?
你猜有多少人申请了但是没被录取
I imagine there were a few. I reckon...loads.
我想有几个吧 我猜有一大堆人
But I got in, didn't I?
但哥就进了 是吧
Yes, I think it's great.
是的 我觉得这很棒
But let's finish filling out these forms, shall we?
我们还是先填完这些表吧 可以吗
What do you reckon Kerry will say?
你猜Kerry会怎么说
I'm sure she'll be over the moon for you.
我相信她会为你激动得上天的
Where do I see myself in five years?
我觉得我五年后会在哪里
Well, me and Kurtan will have a flat in the middle of the village
这个嘛 我和Kurtan会在村子里有一套公♥寓♥
and all of our furniture will be inflatable
所有的家具都会是充气式的
and we'll have a Sky box
我们会买♥♥一个天空机顶盒
and it will pay for itself,
这房♥子还能自给自足
because we're going to use the spare room to breed quails,
因为我们会用空房♥间来养鹌鹑
because their eggs are worth fucking shitloads.
它们的蛋值千金啊
Ker.
Ker
Oh, you're not going to believe this.
跟你说件不得了的事
Me and Levi have created this gang called the Dump Gang
我和Levi成立了一个新帮派 叫垃圾帮
and we're going to build a den at the dump
我们准备在垃圾场造个秘密老巢
out of old car parts.
用废弃汽车零件
And we've found this washing machine
而且我们还找到了台洗衣机
that we're going to use as a safe,
准备用作保险柜
so if you want anything putting in there,
如果你有什么想藏进去的
you've got to tell me now.
你现在就得告诉我
Right. What were you talking to the vicar about?
好吧 你和牧师聊了些什么
Nothing. Well, why wouldn't you let me in earlier?
没什么 那你刚才为什么不让我进去
Because we were talking about man stuff.
因为我们在谈些男人的事情
I can talk man stuff.
我也可以聊男人的事情啊
Yeah, but not that sort of man stuff. You wouldn't understand.
是 但不是那种男人的事情 你不会懂的
I think I would understand, thanks.
我觉得我会懂好吗 谢谢
What's the massive secret?
是什么惊天大秘密啊
The vicar's got a problem with his ball bag, all right,
牧师的蛋蛋出了点问题 行了吧
so stop going on about it, yeah?
所以不要再问了 好吗
What sort of problem?
是哪方面的问题呀
One of them's turned hard, like a stone.
有一个蛋蛋变得像石头一样硬
Now, can you stop with the questions, please?
现在你能别再问了吗 求你了
Oh, hello, Kerry.
哦 你好啊 Kerry
Has he told you yet?
他告诉你了吗
Yeah.
告诉了
And what do you think?
你怎么想
I don't really know what you want me to say, to be honest.
我真不知道你想要我说啥
Well, I'll give you two some more time to let it sink in, shall I?
好吧 我再给你们俩多点时间来消化这件事 好吗
Why is he so proud about it?
他为啥还那么自豪呢
I don't know. Now, come on.
我不知道 走吧
I wouldn't be shouting that.
我才不会大声嚷嚷这种事呢
Yeah, I am going to tell Kerry, and soon,
是的 我是会告诉Kerry的 而且很快
because apparently word's getting around,
因为流言传千里
but I've just got to try and find the right moment.
但是我得找个适当的时机
You know, I want to do it in my own time.
我想用我的方式好好告诉她
I think it will be tough for Kerry.
我觉得这对Kerry来说一定很难熬
A lot of her peers have moved on already, so...
许多她的同龄人都早就开始新生活了
she's been hanging out with a lot of year sevens.
她却一直和一群七年级小孩混在一起
But of course, when they get to year 11,
当然 等他们到中学毕业的时候
they move on, too,
他们的生活也会翻篇了
so Kerry's just found another batch of year sevens to hang out with.
所以Kerry就会再找另一帮七年级小孩混日子