英村脑残故事（2017）

until they move on.
直到他们长大
That's the door. We did that.
这个是门 我们做的
There's Pork Chop. He's on security.
这位叫猪排 他是保安
And Ball Of Laughs. Pick that up. Let me show you.
这个是开心果 捡起来 给你看看
Yeah, so we're going to have that on the door,
我们要把这个挂在门上
so you use that as a door-knocker. I love that.
这样你可以把它当门环 爱这玩意儿
And come through in here.
穿过这里
Oooh...
哦
It's all right, Pork Chop, he's with me. Just... OK?
没关系的 猪排 他和我是一起的 好吧
And... Oh, close your eyes.
还有 哦 闭上眼睛
Show him our best find, Levi.
给他看看我们的重大发现吧 Levi
OK, one, two, three and open!
好 一二三 打开
What are you going to do with them?
你要拿这些干嘛
Smash them on the road, probably, I would have thought.
放到路上砸了吧 我这么打算
Oh, because you're fastest in the gang,
哦 因为你是我们帮里的飞毛腿
you get to wear this.
你能戴上这个
No, not... Sit still. Just once.
不 不要啊 不要动 就戴一次
Not on my curtains now.
不要现在盖我刘海上
What are you doing here?
你来这儿干嘛
Levi!
Levi
No, we had a meeting about it.
不 我们开会讨论过了
We're still considering his application, Levi.
我们还在考虑他的入帮申请 Levi
And you didn't use the door, which is really annoying.
而且你没有从门进来 这就很烦人了
That counts against you, as well.
这样你要入帮就很悬了
The thing is about Slugs is,
关于Slugs这个人吧
he'll turn up when you don't want him to
他就会出现在你不想看到他的时候
and then you can barely understand a word he says, anyway.
而且你也基本上听不懂他说啥
Oh... My phone keeps doing that in my pocket.
哦 我手♥机♥在口袋里总会这样
To who?
跟谁说啊
What?
什么
You can be a bit annoying sometimes.
你有时是挺讨厌
Oh...! I never slag you off.
我从来没说过你什么啊
Is this about the Calippo, still?
还是因为可丽波冰棍吗
Because you offered to buy me that.
那是你主动提出要买♥♥给我的呀
Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually let me pay for it.
是啊 但我没想到你真的会让我付钱
And...I offered you a Mini Milk, yeah, not a Calippo.
而且 我是说给你买♥♥小奶棒 不是可丽波冰棍
You know I don't like Mini Milks.
你知道我不喜欢小奶棒的
Yeah, but a Mini Milk is 50p
是啊 但是小奶棒只要50便士
and Calippo was 1.20, just so you know.
而可丽波要1.2英镑 你要知道
You absolute arsehole.
你真是混♥蛋♥透顶
I just knew at the time that you were being funny about that.
我就知道你那时候就对这茬叽叽歪歪的
What?
什么
What's wrong with you? Are you actually?
你有病吧 这是真的吗
Yeah.
是的
Well...
那你
when are you going?
你什么时候走
Pretty soon. Why?
很快 为什么
Don't know, I just want to do something.
不知道 我只是想做点有意义的事
Well, sadly, it is very difficult for young people to find work in the village.
很不幸 这里的年轻人很难在村里找到工作
Erm...
呃
And I think that particularly in Kerry and Kurtan's case, er...
特别是像Kerry和Kurtan这种情况
they could have really benefited from the routine and structure
他们本可以从有条理的日常和规矩中获益良多的
that would have brought to their lives.
而且他们早该懂这些了
If he wants to go, good luck to him, I say.
如果他想去 那祝他好运啰
I reckon he thinks that
我猜他以为
I can't live without him, which is a laugh,
我离开他就活不下去了 真是好笑
because he went a whole weekend away once to Brean Sands
他有次去布瑞恩海滩玩了一整个星期
and I got on all right.
我还不是过得好好的
I just ended up following this cat around the village.
我就在村子里追着猫绕圈圈呗
Levi, that needs to go way higher, mate.
Levi 那个要再挂高点 小伙子
Higher, higher...
再高点 再高点
That's it.
好了
No, I'm happy for him.
没 我挺为他高兴的
I'm not upset.
我才不伤心
Kerry seemed to take it pretty well, if I'm honest.
Kerry看起来对这事已经坦然接受了 要我说
Not what I was expecting after last time, though.
不像我以为的那样 自从上次
I went away, yeah, for just one weekend to Brean Sands
我就去布瑞恩海滩玩了一周
and she was ringing me the entire time,
她就不停地给我打电♥话♥
texting me, texting my nan,
发短♥信♥给我 发短♥信♥给我奶奶
phoning the caravan park reception.
打给旅行车停车场前台
Honestly, it was an utter nightmare.
说实话 那简直是噩梦
And I said to myself, "I can't go away again."
然后我就告诉自己 "我再也不离开了"
I am excited, yeah.
我是很兴奋啦
Meeting new people, getting out of this shithole.
去认识新的人 从这个鸟不拉屎的地方脱身
I've got to do what's right for me, at the end of the day,
我得为自己考虑了 事到如今
instead of worrying about other people.
而不是去担心其他人
I want the smashed bathroom tiles cleaned up,
我想让你把那些碎瓷砖清理干净
because they are all over the road
它们被弄得一路都是
and the Portaloo's got to go back to the building site
还有把移♥动♥厕所送回工地
where you found it, please. And now. Because I mean now.
请哪来的还哪去 现在去 我认真的
You got anything to say to me first?
你有什么想先对我说的吗
I don't know what you're talking about, Kerry.
我不知道你在说什么 Kerry
How about sorry? Sorry for what?
比如说道歉 我为什么要给你道歉
Sorry for the massive knife
因为你做的烂事
that's hanging out the back of my back because of you.
就像在我后背捅了一大刀
Well, what do you mean?
你什么意思
Cos you stabbed me in the back.
因为你在我背后捅刀子
Backstabber.
卑鄙小人
Oh, and while you're stabbing me in the back,
还有 尽管你背后中伤我
feel free to bend down and kiss my arse.
欢迎随时跪舔道歉
I don't understand.
我不明白
Why are you forcing Kurtan to move away when he doesn't want to?
你干嘛要强迫Kurtan离开 他根本就不想走
I didn't force him. He came to me and I helped him.
我没有强迫他啊 他来我这儿 我帮了他而已
You should be happy that he's happy, Kerry.
你该为他高兴而感到高兴啊 Kerry
I'm not happy that he's happy.
我才不会为他高兴而高兴
I'm only happy when I'm happy.
只有我自己高兴了 我才高兴
And right now, I'm not happy with the fact he's happy.
而现在 我十分不高兴因为他这么高兴
Look, I think you just need to have a chat with him
这样 我觉得你应该和他谈谈
and understand where he's coming from.
理解他的心归何处
Where he's coming from?
他心归何处
What, studying health and social care?
怎么 学健康与社会关怀吗
I don't even understand what that means.
我甚至都不知道那是啥意思
He wants to help people, Kerry.
他想要帮助别人 Kerry
He wants to feel worthwhile. Help who?
他想活得有价值 他要帮谁
Help who? Like old people.
他要帮谁 像是老人啊
Old people are stupid old fucks who I hate.
这些老不死的蠢货我最讨厌了
Do you know, if two old people go out for a meal,
你知道吗 如果两个老东西出去吃顿饭
they'll leave just as much mess
他们会把东西搞得一团糟
as a baby in a high chair.
就跟高脚凳里的婴儿一样
That's a very offensive thing to say, Kerry.
你这样讲话非常不礼貌 Kerry
Please leave and come back when you're being less vile.
请你离开 等你没那么恶毒了再回来
Me being vile? I'm not the one who was going on about
我恶毒 我又不是那个啰啰嗦嗦谈论
my rock-hard ball bag, mate,
自己的石头蛋蛋的人 伙计
so you might as well just spread it around for everyone.
你大概见谁都叨叨这个吧
I've no idea what you're talking about.
我真不知道你在说什么
You never do, do you? Come and see me when you've calmed down.
你从没有过 对吗 等你冷静了再回来见我吧
A wolf in shepherd's clothing.
你 一只披着牧羊人皮的狼
I had a call from the Vicar this morning
今天早上我接到牧师的来电
and apparently Kerry is not happy with me going away after all.
看来对于我离开这件事 Kerry还是十分不开心
Brean Sands all over again...
布瑞恩海滩事件再次上演
I should have known it.
我早该料到的
All right?
你好啊
Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier
听着 我很抱歉没有早点告诉你
about going away and that, it's just...
我要走这件事 只是
Can I just ask you an honest question?
我能问你一个直白的问题吗
Why would you want to leave the village
你为什么想要离开村子
when we've got a pub and a shop?
我们都已经有酒吧和商店了
If I'm honest, yeah, it's just...
如果说实话 就是
Like, I'm just bored living round here now, I think,
我想我已经厌倦了这里的生活了
and I do think I've just outgrown this village now.
而且我也长大了 这个小村子不再适合我了