新阴阳魔界

The Twilight Zone S01E01

Part 4 May 18, 2020, 11:38 a.m.

There he is. There's my guy.
没事的萨米尔
It's okay, Samir.
听着我想你在说的
Look, I think what you're describing
也许是件好事
might be a good thing.
这种感觉如果你把某些你真实生活中的事物
The feeling that if you put something out there
拿去展示然后得到笑声
from your real life, you'll get laughs.
我觉得听上去像是某种疗法
That sounds like therapy to me.
你展示这些事物
You work through these things
从而解放自己
so that you could free yourself from them.
展示自己很可怕
It's terrifying to put yourself out there,
但他们说的是真的
but it's true what they say,
"阳光确实是最好的消毒剂"
"Sunlight really is the best disinfectant."
好了戴维我很抱歉你介意...
Okay, okay, David, I'm-I'm sorry. Would you mind?
我懂了
Oh, say no more.
你已经干了五年了五年了
You have been at this for five years, five.
而且我一直非常支持你
And I've been very supportive,
但如果你终于找到
but if you've finally found the thing
能吸引观众的方式
that can help you find your audience,
你怎么能不倾尽全力呢
how are you not gonna throw yourself at that?
那被我抹去的那些东西...又怎么办呢
Well, what about the part where things get... erased?
她说得没错
She's right, you know.
艺术是世上最高尚的追求但...
Art is the noblest pursuit in the world, but...
那也交不起房♥租
it's not paying the rent.
对不起
I'm sorry.
富兰克林车站
但我真正喜欢的是
But what I really like, what I really like
人们用星号♥替代脏话
is when people spell curse words using asterisks.
你们见过吗
You've seen this?
知道我在说什么吧就像...
You know what I'm talking about? Its like...
星号♥就像是在元音社会里
I guess asterisks are kind of like the chastity belt
元音界的贞操带
of the vowel world, in the vowel community.
我正找你呢
I was looking for you.
听说前几晚你表演得很棒
Heard you were great the last couple nights.
恭喜你孩子你现在很红
Congrats, kid, you're headlining.
谢谢
Oh. Thank you.
别搞砸了
Don't fuck it up. Huh?
我骗谁呢拜托这可是你
Who am I kidding? Come on, it's you,
你当然会搞砸
of course you're gonna fuck it up.
我逗你玩呢
Hey, I'm just messing with you.
有请非常搞笑的萨米尔·瓦桑
Very funny guy, Samir Wassan!
真棒
All right!
谢谢
Thank you.
很多人援引第二修正案
So a lot of people use the Second Amendment
作为借口以支持枪♥支♥自♥由♥
as an excuse to say that guns shouldn't be regulated,
但其实第二修正案
except that the Second Amendment
开头的词就是
actually starts with the words,
"管控妥当的"
"A well regulated."
我有个十岁的外甥
I have a ten-year-old nephew,
前几天他居然嘲笑我的表演
and the other day he was making fun of my act.
他才十岁
He's ten years old.
才十岁
He's ten.
好吧我已经没有外甥了
Right. I don't have a nephew anymore.
瞧瞧现在这总统吧
How about this president, huh?
我不说他是个该被绑着蛋蛋
I don't want to say he's a fascist dickhead
吊在公共广场上的法♥西♥斯♥混♥蛋♥
who should be hung by his nuts in the public square,
只是因为我不想被抓去和特勤局谈话
but only because I don't want to talk to the Secret Service.
天哪
Oh, man.
让我们把掌声送给
Hey, uh, give it up for the guy
在我之前上台的家伙
who was on stage right before me.
-说得对 -他很搞笑对吧
- Yeah! - He's funny, right?
他征服[压扁]了全场
He really crushed.
-没错吧 -没错
- Didn't he? - Yeah!
虽然没有他在街对面的车站
Not as badly as he crushed a mom and her baby
压扁一对母子那么糟糕
at the bus stop across the street.
我没开玩笑他真的那么干了
I'm not joking! He did that.
街对面那个被压扁的车站
That mangled bus stop across the street...
正是他的杰作是他最大的成就
...that's his best work! That's his biggest credit!
新闻争相报道
It was in the news.
但他成功脱身
He got away with it, though.
你们也看了他的表演一定想不到一个
And you saw his act, you-you wouldn't think a guy
表演得那么满腔愤恨又厌恶女性的家伙
with a hateful, misogynistic act like that
还是个醉酒的司机
would also be a drunk driver.
不实际上正是如此
No, actually, that stands.
这很合理
That makes sense.
请把掌声送给人形垃圾
Give it up for human piece of shit,
乔·唐纳
Joe Donner.
他当初并没有撞上这里
Cause he didn't smash into it,
因为他并不存在
because he doesn't exist.
你就是... 你今晚表演[杀]得真棒
Hey, hey, you're the... Hey, you totally killed tonight.
谢谢其实我"复活"了两人
Oh, thank you. You know, I actually un-killed two people.
这是你对吧
This is you, right?
-对 -我现在就关注你
- Yup. - I am following you right now.
非常感谢
Oh, thank you so much.
-喝酒不开车好吗 -好的
- Don't drink and drive, okay? - All right.
就像乔·唐纳可不会再这么做了
Just like Joe Donner didn't anymore.
-好的 -你太搞笑了
- Okay. - You're so funny.
-他是很搞笑 -我还救了两条命
- He is. - I also saved two lives.
其中一个是个孩子
One was a baby!
大学
高中
"大嘴"·麦加里
571个好友
保罗·格林斯蒂德
418个好友
亨利·科温
338个好友
我认识一个高中生
I knew this kid in high school,
他是个混♥蛋♥
he was a prick!
他是个坏家伙
Just a bad guy.
他很刻薄是个恶霸
He was mean, he was a bully.
但是你们知道吗因一个人高中的表现
But you know what? It's not fair to judge someone
评判他人并不公平对吗
by how they were in high school, right?
人是会变的
People change.
他们会成长会学习
They grow, they learn.
所以我上网查了他
So I looked hI'm up online.
他现在为无国界医生工作
Now he works for Doctors Without Borders.
你个糟糕至极的家伙
Oh, you horrible pieces of shit.
兄弟你真是个禽兽
你太恶心了她醒着的吗
我开玩笑的杰米·本森杀了他的未婚妻
I'm joking. Jamie Benson murdered his fiancée.
高中
他确实杀了
He did!
大学
太好了
Yes!
新的杀人证据出现
我喜欢我是对的
I love being right!
太好了
Great!
他的未婚妻就不太好了安息吧
Not so great for his fiancée, rest in peace.
关注粉丝
萨米尔·瓦桑
她已离开人世
She's gone now.
更像是有国界的杀人犯不是吗
More like Murderers With Borders, am I right?
有时候知人知面确实
SometI'mes the covers do tell you a fair amount
能够知心不是吗
about the book, don't they?
威士忌不加冰
Cheap and brown, no ice.
你最了解我艾尔
You know it, Al.
凯勒教练怎么回事
O-or what about Coach Keller?
披萨
是啊当时很疯狂
Oh, yeah. That was crazy.
我想我们当时并没意识到那有多疯狂
I guess we just didn't know how crazy it was at the tI'me.
我知道
Uh, I knew.
世界上的确有很多令人憎恨的
Man, there really are a lot of loathsome psychopaths
神经病对吗
in the world, huh?
谢天谢地你不是一个令人憎恨的神经病
Thank God you're not a loathsome psychopath.
这是你对我说过
That's the most romantic thing
最浪漫的事了
you've ever said to me.
你为什么要大叫
Why are you screaming?
我以为那会沾到我的大衣上
I thought it might get on my coat.
我的脸怎么办
What about my face?