新阴阳魔界

The Twilight Zone S01E05

Part 4 May 18, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

第一场总统初选辩论
爱荷华州总统辩论
也许我并不是很懂税务
I mean, I guess I don't really understand taxes,
如果你是问这个的话我觉得
if that's really your qu-question. I mean,
税务是好的除了有时候比较不好
taxes are good, except when they're bad.
但基本还是好的对吧
But they're mostly good, right?
除了在大富翁游戏里那就是坏的
Uh, except in Monopoly. Then they're bad.
-然后... -干得漂亮二位
- And... - Hey, nice work there, guys.
真是车祸现场
Real car accident.
-你说什么皮特 -别管了
- You know what, Pete? - Just leave it.
我们刚才还有点担心但是现在看看
We were worried there for a little while, but this?
-非常完美 -我听说
- This is beautiful. - I think
在福伦斯维尔街头有捕狗员竞赛拉弗
there's a dogcatcher race in Florenceville Junction, Raff.
也许你可以去负责那种竞选
Maybe you could get on that campaign.
-真好笑非常好笑 -好了
- That's really funny. That's really funny. - Okay...
-别管了 -恭喜你
- Just let it go. - Congratulations.
我们那么信任你
We trusted you.
你们的儿子很快就能找到感觉的我保证
Listen, your boy's gonna get his sea legs soon, I know it.
我能感觉到他不会有事
I can feel it. He's gonna be fine.
找到感觉这简直是一场闹剧
His sea legs? This is a disaster.
-不约瑟夫 -他们会毁了他的拉弗
- No. Joseph... - They're destroying him, Raff.
他们要毁掉我的儿子
They're destroying my boy.
不他不会有事莉莉乖孩子
No, he's gonna be f... Lily, Lily, sweetheart...
他会没事的别走
He's gonna be-- you guys.
别这样听我说
Come on. You guys...
妈
Mom?
妈妈妈妈
Mom? Mom?
妈
Mom.
放轻松
Try to relax.
要是动手就赶紧吧
If you're gonna do it, just do it.
医生被耽搁了他在...别的层级
The doctor was held up. He's on a... different level.
他在路上了
He's on his way.
-天哪 -汉克斯先生
- God! - Mr. Hanks!
快让我睡过去要么救我要么让我死
Put me under! Save my life or let me die, man!
还有两天爱荷华州就要进行
Two days before Iowa votes in the first caucus
初选党团会议了
or primary of the season, the race is truly shaping up
11岁的奥利弗·弗利上演尴尬一幕后形势逐渐清晰
after the embarrassing flameout of 11-year-old Oliver Foley
这场由拉弗·汉克斯负责的灾难性竞选活动
in a disastrous campaign led by Raff Hanks,
拉弗·汉克斯是否是史上最差的竞选经理
在接下来的几十年都会被当成谈资和笑柄...
one that will be analyzed and joked about for decades to...
谢谢你同情我汤米
Thanks for taking pity on me, Tommy.
我不是同情你拉弗
I don't have pity on you, Raff.
我只是不希望你再在酒吧里哭
I just don't want you crying in the bar again.
会吓到顾客的
Scares the customers.
好吧
Right.
看来你喝甘菊茶的阶段过去了
Well, so much for that chamomile tea phase, huh?
是啊我替换成了"毁灭肝脏"阶段
Yeah, I replaced it with the "Decimate your liver" phase.
感觉舒爽了许多
It's much more enjoyable.
汤米能否为这位女士
Tommy, would you get this fine lady
上一杯波本加冰谢谢
a bourbon on the rocks, please?
麻烦做双倍谢谢
Make it a double, please.
可以啊
Oh, that's my girl.
你最近如何
How you holding up?
很显然比你好一点
Well, better than you are, apparently.
谢谢
Thanks.
所以你怎么来了
So what are you doing here?
我有事情要忙
I got things to do.
我得吃坚果还得借酒浇愁
I got nuts to eat. I got beer to cry into.
没有我真的是来看看你的近况
No, I really am here, actually, to see how you're doing.
而现在的情形看来
And from the looks of things,
你过得并不美好
it's... not a pretty picture.
你知道最糟糕的地方是什么吗
You know what the worst part is?
我开始这一切是想要脱离之前的困境
I started this whole thing to get out of the mess I was in,
但是越是走下去
but somewhere along the line,
我越是开始喜欢那孩子说的话
I started liking what the kid was saying.
-真的 -你不会是想说
- Yeah. - Not the whole
"我相信我的候选人"那一套吧
"I actually believe my candidate" story.
我真的相信他
I do believe in him.
好吧他也许根本不了解税收规则
All right, he didn't know shit about the tax code.
但他有人性
But he was human.
他有自己的弱点但是台上的其他人
He was vulnerable, and that's more than I can say
可就不一定了
about everybody else up there.
我就不应该让他上辩论台
You know, I never should have let him go on the debate stage.
他应该继续录视频
He should've kept making his videos.
我们可以拍一个关于世界和平的视频
We could've done one about world peace.
他可以拿一颗自♥制♥的地球仪
He could've been holding a-a homemade globe,
所有人都会吃这一套的
and everyone would have eaten it up, and no one
-就没人在乎那场辩论了 -可是
- would give a shit about the debate. - You know what?
现在已经太晚了对吧
It's too late now. Right?
是啊
Yeah.
是啊太晚了
Yeah, it's too late.
其实我今天去了一趟他们家
You know, I actually stopped by their place.
弗利一家
The Foleys.
真的吗他们怎么样
You did? How they doing?
跟想象的差不多
Um... to be expected.
也许
Maybe...
更糟糕一些
a little bit worse.
你知道他们有条狗叫霍马
Well, you know their dog, Homer?
怎么了
Yeah?
它得了某种癌症快死了
He's got some kind of cancer. He's gonna die.
不不
No. No.
没错
Yeah.
天哪我搞砸了一切
Oh, God, I fucked everything up.
我甚至杀了他们的狗
I even killed their dog.
但奥利弗向你问好
Oliver says hi, though.
真的吗
He did?
他不怪你
He doesn't blame you.
他希望我告诉你
He wanted me to tell you that.
他是个好孩子
Oh, he's a good kid.
他还让我问你他是否可以发布一段
He also wanted me to ask you if you thought it was okay
关于他快死狗狗的视频博客
for him to post a vlog about his dying dog.
我想没问题
Why not, I guess.
我也是这么说的
I mean, that's what I said.
真是太悲伤了你知道吗
It's really sad, you know?
他这么关心那只可怜的小狗
I mean, it's sweet how much he...
非常的贴心
cares about that poor animal.
天哪
Oh, Jesus.
太完美了
It's perfect.
将死之狗的视频博客
A vlog about a dying dog.
我的天如果拍法得当就太完美了
Oh, my God, provided it's done correctly, it's perfect.
-拉弗 -我们还在选票上吗
- Raff... - Are we on the ballot still?
快告诉我我们还在选票上
Please tell me we are still on the ballot.
现在已经太迟无法撤出了但是
It was too late to get us taken off, but...
拉弗你在干什么
Raff, what are you doing?
我要帮助奥利弗·弗利当选
I am getting Oliver Foley elected president
美♥利♥坚♥合众国的总统
of the United States of America.
我们将赢得这次选举
We're winning this goddamn election!
这可不妙
That's not good.
这是霍马我的狗狗
This is Homer. My dog.
霍马
拉布拉多犬
它是一只拉布拉多犬
He's a Labradoodle.
我认识它一辈子了
I've known him my whole life.
世界上最棒的狗狗
它是世界上最棒的狗狗
He's the best dog in the whole wide world.
它也命不久矣
He's also dying.
它患上了癌症
He has cancer.
无法治愈的狗狗癌症
一种无法治愈的狗狗癌症
A dog type of cancer that's sort of incurable.
来吧过来
Come on. Come over.
这是我妹妹莉莉
This is my sister Lily.
这是我的父母
And these are my parents.
很明显我不知道如何做总统
It's pretty clear I don't know nearly enough to be president alone.
但如果你选择我