新阴阳魔界

The Twilight Zone S01E04

Part 1 May 18, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas!
伊戈莱克 5英里
切尼堡空军基地 10英里
北极 1475英里
不圣诞老人别到镇上来不要
Oh, no, Santa Claus, don't come to town. Aw, no.
天呐这外邦人的烂玩意要折磨死我了
Oh, God, you're killin' me with this Qallunaat shit.
拜托关了吧伙计拜托
Come on, turn it off, bro. Please?
天呐拜托
Oh, God. Okay, come on.
你难道不该听
Isn't it supposed to be on, like,
警用电台吗警官
police radio or something, Officer?
这就是警用电台
It is on police radio.
潘德顿警监让调度在平安夜
Captain Pendleton has dispatch play Christmas music
-播放圣诞音乐 -真傻♥逼♥
- on Christmas Eve. - That's stupid.
每年就这一晚
It's just one night a year.
是啊圣诞节或许是一晚
Yeah, Christmas maybe,
但他们无论走到哪里
but they have been shoving their way of life
都强迫别人接受他们的生活方式
on people everywhere they show up.
他们想要我相信有三个智者
You know, they want me to live my life off of three wise guys
追随一颗星星来到谷仓发现个神童
who followed a star to a barn to find some magic kid?
这难道比我们祖先
And that's supposed to be more spiritual
在北极光上跳舞看着地上的我们
than-than our ancestors dancing on the northern lights
更有灵性吗
while they watch down on us?
外邦圣诞节让我觉得好废柴
Qallunaat Christmas makes me feel like such a loser.
你今天走运了
It's your lucky day.
每年潘德顿警监都在我们的圣诞派对上
Every year, Captain Pendleton makes a big show
办场盛大的节目
at our Christmas party.
他会赦免一位拘留室里的囚犯
He pardons an inmate in the holding cell.
今年挺平安他没人可赦免
It's been a slow year, and he didn't have anyone to pardon,
所以就是你了恭喜
so... you're it. Congrats.
等等什么
Wait. What?!
好吧你凭莫须有对罪名
Okay, so, you-you're pulling in your own brother
把你亲哥抓进局子好放了我吗
on a bullshit charge just to let me go?
得了吧尤佳
Oh, now, come on, Yuka.
我知道你出♥卖♥♥♥了自己
I mean, I know you're a sellout,
但你没这么扯的
but bullshit you are not.
你怎么能受得了
How can you stand working
每天给那个骗子大王工作
for that lying sack of shit every day?
是挺难的杰克光是他的声音
Ah, it's tough, Jack. Just the sound of his voice
就让我想揍人
makes me want to punch something.
是啊除非你是带头的雪橇狗
Yeah, well, unless you're the lead sled dog.
就只能看到别人的屁♥股♥
Guess the view's pretty much the same.
抱歉把你抓来杰克但是
I'm sorry for dragging you in, Jack, but...
算了
Nah.
你待不了几小时的
You won't be alone for a couple hours and...
-你还有火鸡吃 -什么
- ...you'll get some turkey. - What?
-真的 -嗯
- Really? - Yeah.
那派呢我想吃派
What about some pie? I want some pie.
-如果你走运的话 -如果...
- If you're lucky. - If I'm...
去他的圣诞老人
Ah, fuck Santa Claus!
开心点杰克
Cheer up, Jack.
你一小时后就能回那个酒吧长凳上了
You'll be back on that barstool in an hour.
伊戈莱克镇政厅人口 936
那是什么鬼
What the hell is that?
我不知道
I don't know.
太小了不会是极光
I mean, it's too much of a point to be the northern lights.
肯定是近地极地轨道卫星
Must be a low polar orbit satellite.
不不
Oh, no, no, no.
肯定是指你
It must be for you,
"尤佳"在因纽特语里
'cause "Yuka" means "shining"
是"明亮""耀眼"的意思吧
and "brilliant" in Inuit, right?
但你逮捕我时可不怎么样
Although not so fucking brilliant when you fuckin' arrest me.
好了都凑过来
All right! Gather around.
秘密圣诞老人要开始了
Time for a little Secret Santa here!
大家都知道我又会是你们的圣诞老人
And it's no secret that I'll be your Santa again.
来一声"嚯嚯嚯"吧
Can I get a "Ho ho ho"?
嚯嚯嚯
Ho! Ho! Ho!
你们得向北走1500英里到北极
You people'd have to go 1,500 miles to the North Pole
才能找到比我更好的圣诞老人
to find a better Santa than me.
你拿下好吗亲爱的
Would you take that, dear?
基地不知道今天是平安夜吗
Doesn't the base know it's Christmas Eve?
圣诞老人来个自己的电网做圣诞礼物吧
Hey, Santa, how about our own power grid for Christmas?
去死吧巴兹
Eat shit, Buzz.
好这下镇长上淘气名单了
That does it. Mayor's on the naughty list!
-你们听到了 -真不乖
- You heard him. - Bad boy.
好了阿奇·豪顿阿奇在哪
All right, all right. Arch Houghton? Where's Arch?
-这是你的秘密圣诞老人礼物 -好的
- We got a Secret Santa for ya. - Okay.
给圣诞快乐
There you go. Merry Christmas.
你也有过来
I got you, too. Get over here.
看她抓了她哥哥
Hey, look-- she busted her brother!
你的圣诞节得救了莱恩
Your Christmas is saved, Lane!
杰克杰克
Jack! Jack! Jack!
-杰克 -好了
- Jack! Jack! Jack!- All right.
-杰克 -行了
- Jack! Jack! Jack! - All right, all right.
-行了 -杰克
- Take it easy. Take it easy. - Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!
她还有工作呢镇长
She's got work to do. Mayor?
-是 -过来
- Yes, sir. - Get over here.
他明白的给他的酒...
He knows what it is. Booze for him...
他在里面需要这个
This guy needs it in here.
看那个亲爱的
Look at that, honey.
太好了
Oh, great.
我们走
Let's go.
为镇长喝彩三声
Three cheers for the mayor!
加油加油万岁
Hip, hip, hooray!
我什么时候能得到赦免
So, when do I get pardoned?
等潘德顿警监
I'll come back and get you
听完自己说话后我会回来的
after Captain Pendleton's done hearing himself talk.
那之后我能吃派了吗
So is that when I get pie-- after that?
我现在有点饿了
'Cause I'm kind of hungry now.
可以别担心
Yes. Don't worry.
会给你派吃的
You'll get your pie.
我保证
I promise.
不会等太久的
It won't be long.
我感到渺小
Well, I'm humbled.
一如我大概20多年前
As I have been since I started this tradition
开始这传统时那样
some... 20 years ago?
每年的平安夜
You know, every Christmas Eve...
我都看着那扇窗户的外面
I like to look out that window there,
想象着东方三贤士
and I envision those... those Three Wise Men
抬头看着圣诞星
just looking up at that Star of Bethlehem.
我的祖先第一次也是在这星星下
Same stars that my ancestors looked at
踏上这里驯服这片土地
when they first arrived to tame
使之成为伟大的第49州阿♥拉♥斯加
and make this the great 49th state of Alaska.
在那之前那里有些什么
Before that... what was there out here?
一群熊和爱斯基摩人
Bunch of bears and Eskimos?
差不多吧
That's about it.
在今晚这特别的日子中
Tonight, above all nights,
我感谢耶稣
I thank Jesus...
感谢他授予给我的责任
for my responsibilities He has bestowed upon me.
首先
First,
保卫祖国的责任
to my duty to defend my country
还有帮助
and work to support our neighbors
切尼空军监听站的邻居们
at the Cheney Air Force Listening Station
建设全国领先的雷达探测器
with their state-of-the-art LRD radar.
我们可能只是个不起眼的小社区
Hmm? We may just be a modest little community down here.
小小的151前哨但我们
Little outpost 151, but we support
用我们的低科技价值支持着那样的高科技站
that high-tech station with our low-tech values.
-没错 -对吧
- Yes. - Am I right?
虽然他们开始越来越想
Now, I know it's a hassle when they get a little greedy
多分我们的电力供给但他们依赖我们的供给
with our power grid, but they rely on us for supplies,
以及我们提供的
and we offer police protection
全年度的警方保护
outside that base 365 days out of the year.
没错
Yeah! Yes!