新阴阳魔界

The Twilight Zone S01E05

Part 5 May 18, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

But if you elect me,
我将聘用最善良最聪明的人
I'll surround myself with the nicest and smartest people.
最善良最聪明
我将努力工作让你为我骄傲
I'll work so hard to make you proud
并确保你能拥抱生病的宠物更久一些
and make sure that you can hug your sick pets longer
而且你能与自己所爱之人度过许许多多
and that you'll get to spend as many healthy days as possible
保证你家人的安全
健康的日子
with the ones you love.
因为家人家人是最重要的
Because family... family's everything.
奥利弗·弗利竞选总统
奥利弗和霍马
音乐响起
Let's hit it
*我们全国各地的人*
*We the people all across the nation*
奥利弗·弗利
*庆祝的时刻到来了*
*It's about time for a celebration*
奥利弗·弗利令爱荷华州每位民♥意♥调查者惊诧
Oliver Foley, surprising every pollster in Iowa,
赢了第一次党团会议提名
has won the first caucus.
一场精彩的后来居上的投票中
In a stunning come-from-behind upset,
11岁的奥利弗·弗利赢得了爱荷华州党团会议
11-year-old Oliver Foley has won the Iowa caucus.
我不知道为什么人们会惊讶
I don't know why people are so surprised.
奥利弗能体恤人♥民♥感受
I mean, Oliver really connects with people.
本来他是报纸第十三版的无名新闻
He was the 13th story on the news,
而我们携手一起使他成为头版
and together we made him headline material.
经过今晚我觉得他能够稳稳地
I mean, a-after tonight, I-I think he's poised
赢下整个竞选真的
to win the whole thing. I really do.
真的吗全国民调显示他的排名很靠后
Really? All the national polls put him very far behind.
听着当美国人♥民♥找到了一位能够
Listen, polls are meaningless when the American people
真正体现大家价值观的候选人时民调毫无意义
find someone who honestly and truly speaks to their core values.
*因为年长可以投票*
*Oh, old enough to vote*
我们可以
We can do this.
奥利弗·弗利就职成为美国总统
总统一家加入总统参与历史性游♥行♥
我是总统了耶
I'm the President! Yeah!
这太酷了
This is so cool.
我是总统炸了俄♥罗♥斯♥
This is the president. Bomb Russia!
我开玩笑的
I'm just kidding.
只是开玩笑别担心
I'm just kidding. Don't worry.
真不敢相信我能住在这里
Can't believe I get to live here now.
现在你是老大了奥利弗
Well, you're in charge now, Oliver--
总统先生
uh, Mr. President.
你是自♥由♥世界的领导了
You're the leader of the free world.
那么作为自♥由♥世界的领导
Well... as leader of the free world,
我们得兑现我的竞选承诺
we need to fulfill my campaign promises.
-尽快 -那是当然
- ASAP. - Absolutely.
首先所有美国人都能享受免费电子游戏
First off, free video games for every American.
任天堂 PS游戏机
Nintendo, PlayStation,
无论他们想要什么
whatever they want.
奥利弗
Oliver...
亲爱的我觉得我们还不能这么做
Honey, I don't think that we can quite just do that.
你在说什么妈妈
What are you talking about, Mom?
我是说还有法律呢
Well, I mean that there are laws.
国会
Congress.
我们谈过这个记得吗亲爱的
We talked about this, remember, honey?
但我承诺给所有人免费电子游戏
But I promised everyone video games,
而你幕僚长先生
and you, Mr. Chief of Staff,
要实现这个承诺
are gonna make sure that happens.
我觉得国会不会同意这个决议
Well, I'm not quite sure that Congress is gonna go for that,
总统先生尤其是
Mr. President, especially
现在国家债务比较庞大
given the way the national debt looks right now.
而且游戏公♥司♥也不会自愿
And plus, companies aren't just going to willingly
交出他们的游戏
give away their games.
我猜他们只能服从了
Guess they'll just have to.
-是的但是... -没有但是
- Yes, but... - But nothing.
他们必须交出来
They have to.
我对大家承诺了
I made a promise.
他们要拱手将两亿七千万的游戏送给每个美国人
So, they give away 270 million games to every American,
否则我们就每个掌上游戏机收一百万的税
or we put a surcharge tax of a million dollars a Game Boy
让他们一天之内倒闭
and put them out of business in a day.
人♥民♥已投票表决心意我们要兑现承诺
The people voted. We have to give 'em what we promised.
-奥利弗 -请叫我总统先生
- Hey, Oliver. - Mr. President.
抱歉拉弗但是这样听起来更酷
Sorry, Raff, but it sounds really cool.
您说的对
You're right.
总统先生我们要不要在您完全适应之前
Mr. President, maybe we should, uh, hold off
先暂缓那个电子游戏项目
on the video game thing until you get settled in...
我适应好了拉弗我清楚我想做什么
I'm settled in, Raff, and I know what I want.
你们这些人就得帮我办好
And you guys are gonna get that done for me
要不我就叫其他人来帮我办
or I'll get other people to get it done for me.
从来都不缺想为美国新上任总统
There won't be a shortage of people who want to work
工作的人
for the new president of the United States.
好了白宫的厨房♥在哪
Now... where's the White House kitchen?
我要一个薄荷味加巧克力碎原味和咖啡味的
I want a triple-scoop chocolate chip mint,
三球圣代上面要加生奶油
vanilla and coffee ice cream sundae with whipped cream,
巧克力酱还有糖豆
chocolate sauce and sprinkles!
我想做一个我唱歌♥的新视频博客
I want to make a new vlog of me singing
然后围绕着我的舞者们要穿的像士兵一样
and all these dancers around me dressed like soldiers.
我不确定视频博客是与人交流的最佳形式
I'm not sure if vlogging is the best way to communicate.
当然是了
Of course it is.
我要歌♥唱世界和平
I want to sing about world peace.
歌♥词得像这样
The lyrics should be something like,
"要么你是与和平肩并肩
"Either you're with peace,
要么你就不是
or you're not,"
然后如果他们不是的话就杀掉那些舞者
and if they're not, we start to kill off all the dancers.
我是说当然不是真杀了
I mean, not for real, obviously.
但在视频里得有那种血淋淋的效果
But in the video, all bloody and stuff.
看起来肯定很酷
It'll be cool.
总统先生今天我们要选狗狗
Dog selection today, Mr. President.
总算来了
Finally!
你好啊太好了你真可爱
Hi. Hello! Oh, yes, you are so sweet.
过来来这边
Hey, come here, come here.
好了这只不行
Okay, no. No.
这只不行这只再看看
No. Maybe.
这只不行
No.
这只还可以这只不行
Maybe. No.
这只就这家伙
This one! This guy right here!
不不不这一只
No, no, no, this one.
他堪称完美我的新霍马
He's perfect. My new Homer.
这是只雌犬先生
It's a female dog, sir.
什么真恶心
What? Ew!
你脑子抽风了
What were you thinking?
-我以为 -你以为什么
- I thought, um... - Thought what?
我要一只新的霍马
I want a new Homer!
霍马在你看来是女孩的名字吗
Does Homer sound like a girl's name to you?
先生这还有别的狗能选呢
Well, there's other dogs here, sir.
都带走我不要它们
Get rid of 'em. I don't want 'em.
先生这些狗狗是从宠物站精心挑选的
Um, sir? These dogs were selected from the pound.
我不管我才不要它们
I don't really care. I don't want them.
好吧现在到了体♥检♥的时候了
Okay. It is, however, time for your physical.
体♥检♥ 不可能的
Physical? No way.
我很抱歉总统先生但是国会要求
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. President, but Congress requires
总统每年都要体♥检♥
that the president get a yearly physical.
那就炒了国会
Well, then fire Congress.
我们不能那么做
We can't quite do that.
我可不会见任何医生
Well, I'm not gonna see any doctor.
尤其是那种糟老头医生
Especially an old man doctor.
行但是安排的就是今天
Okay, but it's scheduled for today, so...
那就取消它
Well, then un-schedule it.
然后再也不要安排了
And never reschedule it.
那是我唯一会遵守的日程
That's the only real schedule I can get behind.
制定一项新法律禁止老人担任医生
And make a new law: no old doctors.
大家都没意见吧
Everyone okay with that?
我在问大家都同意吧
I said, is everyone okay with that?
是的总统先生
Yes, Mr. President.
是的总统先生
Yes, Mr. President.
接招
Think fast!