穆迪一家

Okay, so you'll probably find out eventually,
但是 马科和我
but, uh, Marco and I
小时候曾亲热过一次
made out once when we were kids.
我知道 他跟我说过
Yeah, he told me.
-真的吗 他是怎么说的 -宝贝
- Really? What did he say? - Babe.
-我能跟你谈谈吗 -当然 怎么了
- Can I talk to you for a sec? - Sure, what's up?
公牛队比赛 公♥司♥的包厢现在有了个空位
So a spot just opened up at the company box for the Bulls game.
首席执行官也会去的
CEO's gonna be there.
这可能是千载难逢的见面机会
Could be some major face time,
用我的篮球知识震撼他
blow him away with my hoop knowledge,
但我不应该去 对吧
but I shouldn't go, right?
因为我跟我女人在参加一个节日派对
'Cause I'm at a holiday party with my girl.
-真的没事 -不 怎么会没事
- It's really okay. - No, it's not okay.
我不会把你丢在这里的
I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna abandon you here
让你跟一帮你几乎不认识的人在一起
with a bunch of people that you hardly even know,
尽管那是企业级包厢 提供6英尺长的潜水艇三明治
even if it is the corporate box with the six- foot subs,
我也不会那么做的
I'm not gonna do that.
去吧 我打车回家
Go. I'll take an Uber.
有我在那是不可能的
Not on my watch.
姆库塔和我很荣幸能送你回家
Be an honor for Mukta and I to drive you home.
我可以带你了解几条捷径
I'll show you a few shortcuts,
但你必须发誓保密
but I'm gonna have to swear you to secrecy.
最后一次问有没有人吃馅饼 胡桃馅的没人动
Last call for pie. No one's touched the pecan.
你不得不承认 这犯罪实在太爽了
You got to admit it- - this is a pretty fantastic crime.
-能让我来开车吗 -那得看情况了
- Can I drive? - That depends,
你最近是乖还是调皮啊
have you been naughty or nice?
好吧 真撞上了
Oh, okay. Here we go.
-糟糕 -没事的 没事的 让我来处理
- Crap. - It's all good, it's all good. Let me handle this.
还好吗 圣诞老人
How's it going, Santas?
什...不是吧
Wh... R- Really?
当然了
Of course.
你怎么穿成这样了
What's with the getup?
你 你一定觉得难以置信
You're not... you're never gonna believe this.
丹瞎胡闹被逮捕了
Dan went a head and got himself arrested.
什么 什么叫被逮捕了
What? What do you mean, arrested?
我自己也还在琢磨呢
Still trying to piece that together myself.
嘿 担♥保♥人 门外有个警♥察♥
Hey, sponse, there's a cop out front.
-我去躲在车♥库♥里 -搞什么鬼
- I'm- a lay low in the garage. - What the hell?
太疯狂了
Crazy.
-简直难以置信 -天呐 天呐 肖恩 我...
- I do not believe this. - Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Sean, I got...
拜托 让我来处理
Please, please, I got this.
警官 我是罗杰·穆迪 南区丰田店的
Officer. Roger Moody. South Side Toyota.
-我们为你们的突击车辆提供服务 -罗杰 够了
- We service your assault vehicles, so... - Roger, Enough.
这家伙偷了一辆清冰车
This one stole a Zamboni.
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
什么 那...
What?! Tha...
那听着不像我们家丹尼会干的事啊
That doesn't sound like our Danny boy.
你好啊 圣诞老人
Hey there, Santa.
警官 我是一名律师 我来处理吧
Officer, I'm an attorney. I'll be handling this.
业主不会提起诉讼的
Oh, the owner's not pressing any charges,
但你们两个不管谁是肖恩·穆迪 都被开除了
but whichever one of you is Sean Moody, you're fired.
好了 你去告诉梅格 至少
Okay, you tell Meg that, at the very least,
这会进入仲裁的 没错
oh, yeah, this is going to arbitration.
-不 不会的 -话说 丹
- No, it's not. - You know, Dan,
要是肖恩干出这种事我们不会意外
we expect this from Sean.
-说什么呢 -没错
- What the... hell? - Yeah.
但我无法理解
But I cannot understand
你怎么就这么难以转变为真正的成年人
why you're having such a hard time transitioning into adulthood.
明白吗 你无法维持长久的恋爱关系
Okay? You can't keep a relationship.
你不停地换工作
You're bouncing from job to job.
你还在搞什么古怪的芭蕾舞饮食法
You're on this weird ballerina diet.
你还被捕了 这可能会成为D级重罪
You got arrested in what could've been a class D felony.
艾丽的事 你也对我们撒谎了
I mean, you lied to us about Ali.
你还逃掉了我的56岁生日宴会
You skipped- my 56th birthday.
知道吗 或许纽约对你来说难以承受
Okay? Maybe New York is just too much for you.
不 不 我在纽约感觉很好
No. No, no, I feel great in New York.
但回到这里 真的让我无法承受
It's here that's too much for me.
-终于说出来了 -我没跟你们提跟艾丽分手的事
- Here we go. - I didn't tell you about Ali
因为我知道你们你们会气得恨不得掐死我
because I knew you'd just jump down my throat.
我被甩了
I got dumped.
你们没一个人问问我还好吗
N- Not one of you asked how I was doing.
我们气得要掐死你
We jump down your throat
是因为那是我们对你表达爱意的方式
because that's our way of showing you how much we love you, okay?
也是用这种方式问你还好吗
And- and asking you how you're doing.
-你还好吗 -你还好吗
- How you doing? - How are you doing?
不好 不好 很不好
Not good. Not good. Not good.
我们能看得出来
Well, we can see that.
其实 或许我今年就不该回来的
You know what, may- maybe I shouldn't have come home this year.
或许我应该跟朋友一起去滑雪的
Maybe I should've gone skiing with my friends.
不要啊
No.
实际上 我...
In fact, I'm, uh,
我去看看现在能不能买♥♥张票离开
I'm gonna see if I can get a flight out - right now.
你竟然要逃离吗 你个圣诞懦夫
You're bailing, you Christmas coward?
丹尼 等等
Danny, wait.
如果你要去机场 从奥克朗上45号♥大街
If you're heading to the airport, take Oak Lawn to 45th.
普拉斯基路在施工
There's construction on Pulaski.
-谢谢 -那样更快一点
- Thanks. - It's quicker.
看看这个
Look at this
-睁开眼睛吧 -好了 各位
- Open your eyes. - All right, guys.
小狗狗
Puppy.
天呐
Oh, my gosh.
小狗狗 小狗狗 小狗狗
Puppy, puppy, puppy.
好了 各位
All right, guys.
-给它取个什么名字好呢 -里昂
- All right, what're we gonna call him. - Leon?
里昂 好吧
Leon? Okay.
各位 看着我
Hey, guys, look, look at me.
瞧你小时候多可爱 让我也想要孩子了
Look how cute you were. Makes me want to have kids.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
不去滑雪了吗
Not going skiing, then?
不了
Nah.
不能这样对我的家人
Can't do that to my family.
你的借口又是什么
What's your excuse?
我男朋友去看篮球比赛了
My boyfriend went to a basketball game
把我丢在了这里
and left me here.
真是不得不爱节日季啊
Got to love the holidays.
不知这样能否安慰到你...
If it's any consolation...
对不起 我...
I'm sorry. I- I...
这真的是很蠢的行为
That was... that was really stupid.
我不该干这种事的
I shouldn't have done that.
你或许的确不该这么做
You probably shouldn't.
是啊
Yeah.
成功了
Nailed it!
我把首席执行官逗笑了
Made the CEO laugh.
啤酒都从他鼻子里喷出来了 太棒了
Beer came out his nose. It was awesome.
你还好吗 堂哥
What's up, cuz?
我相当确定我在停车场看到球星斯科蒂·皮蓬了
I'm pretty sure I saw Scottie Pippen in the parking lot.
-真的吗 -是啊 然后我说
- You did? - Yeah. I was like,
"还好吗 斯科蒂"
"What's up, Scottie?"
然后他说...他什么都没说 但是...
And he was like... He didn't say nothing, but...
天呐
Oh, my God.
你这手艺又超越了自我啊
You've outdid yourself, man.
这个脆壳也是自♥制♥的吗
Is this crust homemade?
你在跟谁说话呢
Who are you talking to?
肖恩 关灯
Sean, the lights.
我把回收垃圾扔出去
I took out the recycling.
肖恩
Sean!
这个家真是一刻都没得停歇
It's 24- 7 around here.
我患了癌症
I have cancer.
我本不该告诉任何人的
I'm not supposed to tell anybody.
乳腺癌 难以置信吧
Breast cancer, if you can believe it.
我新年后就要做手术了