穆迪一家

你也不知道上帝的杰作
"You do not know the work of God.
那就是...
"And that...
上帝的「胃反酸」"
is the gord of the Lord."
打住
Stop it.
打住
Stop it.
-打住 -阿门
- Stop it. - Amen.
-上帝的「胃反酸」 -打住
- The gord of the Lord. - Stop it.
我七年级的时候 去参加了联♥合♥国♥夏令营
And when I was in seventh grade I went to UN Camp,
我太想家了
and I got so homesick
于是就假装我患了莱姆病
that I pretended I had Lyme disease.
我还查了这个病的各种症状
I looked up the symptoms and everything, um...
然后我打电♥话♥给我爸来接我
And I called my dad to come get me.
他大半夜的开车开了五个小时
And he drove five hours in the middle of the night.
带我去一家餐厅 我们吃了煎饼
Took me to a diner and we got pancakes.
他知道我是假装的 但他什么都没说
I mean, he knew I was faking, and he didn't say anything.
吃完早餐后 他说
And after breakfast, he said,
"好了 你准备好再回去了吗"
"Okay, are you ready to go back?"
我说"是的"
And I said, "Yeah."
如果他不在了
If he's not around...
我该打电♥话♥给谁
who do I call?
我真的很想推荐一款净化饮食法
I really want to recommend a cleanse
帮助应对化疗的各种副作用
to help combat the side effects of the chemo,
但我知道...
but I know that's...
那不是你现在所需要的
not what you need right now.
我不是很擅长应对这种情况
I'm not very good at this.
其实你很擅长
You actually are.
"主派来的天使站在他们身边
"And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them,
大家在看着呢
People are looking.
主的荣光从四面照耀着他们
"And the glory shone around them:
天使对他们说
"And the angel said unto them,
不要惧怕
Fear not: for, behold,
你们是在跟我开玩笑吗 开什么玩笑啊
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
不 他几乎成功了 就最后一句...
No, he almost made it. Just...
大家都在...
People...
因为今天在大卫的城里 为什么降生了救世主
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour,
-他就是耶稣 -出去 给我滚出去
- "Who is Christ the Lord. - Get out. Get out. Get out.
这是他的记号♥
"And this shall be a sign unto you;
一个婴孩被布条包裹着
"You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes,
躺在马槽里
"Lying in a manger.
突然有一队天兵 和那天使一起
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host
赞美上帝 说着
"Praising God, and saying,
荣耀归于至高无上的神"
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth..."
天呐
Oh, God.
这一杯也倒得太多了吧 亲爱的
That's a pretty big glass, hon.
是啊 但还不够多
Yeah, not big enough.
-各位 -怎么了
- Uh, hey, guys? - What?
你们最好进来一下
You might want to come in here.
搞什么鬼
What the hell?
圣诞礼物都去哪儿了
Where- where are the Christmas presents?
好吧 这是什么玩笑吗
Okay, what, is this some kind of joke?
等等 你觉得有没有可能
Wait, do you think it has anything to do
是收♥容♥所♥的那两个人干的
with the people from the shelter?
你是指你♥爸♥邀请到我们家享用晚餐的重罪犯啊
Oh, you mean the felons that your dad invited to dinner.
先别急着下结论 各位
Okay, let's not jump to conclusions, guys.
他们把礼物偷走了
They stole them.
他们的盗窃方法是 在他们出去扔垃圾时
They stole them when they took the trash out,
故意把侧门没锁
they left the side door unlocked.
他们还故意把跳舞的圣诞老人打开 就为了嘲弄我们
They turned the dancing Santa on just to mock us.
倒是挺酷的
Kind of a cool move.
好了 我只想提醒一下大家
Okay, I just want to remind all of us, okay,
圣诞精神不在于...
that the spirit of Christmas is not about...
闭嘴行吗 我的要求并不高
Be quiet, okay? I ask for so little.
我只想要个专属我的浴室和白色圣诞
All I wanted was my own bathroom and a white Christmas.
那个天气预报女郎真会瞎鸡♥巴♥扯
And, you know, that weather gal is so full of crap.
各位 这又不是世界末日
Guys, it's not the end of the world.
-只是没了礼物而已 对吧 -就是啊
- It's just presents, right? - Yeah.
而且妈妈给我们都准备了羽绒背心
And Mom got us all down vests,
这很实用 很贴心 妈
wh- which were very practical and very thoughtful, Mom.
其实 你说得对
You know, you're right.
为什么要送礼物呢
I mean, why even give presents?
为什么要过圣诞节呢
You know, why even have Christmas at all?
如果没人在乎这个家的传统
And if nobody cares about the traditions in this family,
那我也不在乎
then I don't either.
-妈 -那不是...
- Mom. - That's not...
-不是这样的 这... -亲爱的
- It's not that. No, it's, it's... - Hon.
好了 听着 先稳住别发疯
Hey, look... Okay? Okay, let's not go crazy.
布丽吉特的礼物还在
We still have, uh, we still have Bridget's presents.
-没错 -她总是等到圣诞节的早上才拿出来
- Right. - And she never puts them out till Christmas morning.
-没错 亲爱的 -今年不是
- Right. Honey. - Not this year.
-今年不是 -什么
- Not this year. - What?
搞什么啊 为什么
What the hell? Why?
我清单上的那些呢
What about the ones on my list?
尤其是那个超贵的耳机
Specifically, the expensive headphones.
你把那些也拿出来了吗
Did you- did you put- put those out?
我以前之所以等到圣诞节早上才拿出来
I only put them out Christmas morning,
是因为我和道格都是早上才过来
because that's when Doug and I come over,
但今年由于我已经在这里了...
but since I was already here...
-你为什么要背着道格出轨 -好了
- Why did you cheat on Doug?! - Okay.
能别把这事扯到那事身上吗
Could we not make this about that, please?
-天呐 -我只是...
- Holy Moses! - I just
想拥有...
wanted to have...
我的天呐
Oh, my God!
一个美好的圣诞节
...a nice Christmas,
-妈 -把枪放下
- Mom! - Put it down!
-结果全被你们毁了 -亲爱的...
- and you all ruined it... - Honey...
-住手 妈 -住手 -又一次毁了
- Stop, Mom... - Stop! - again!
-亲爱的 不要 -好了 够了
- Honey, no... - Okay! Okay!
我出去
I'm out!
圣诞节取消
Christmas is canceled.
亲爱的
Hon...
你们快看
Hey, guys, look.
开始下雪了
It's starting to snow.
是真的呢
Oh, it is, too.
我们要告诉妈妈
Should we tell Mom
我们可以享受白色圣诞了吗
that we're gonna have a white Christmas?
不了
Er, no.
-我觉得我们应该给她点时间缓一缓 -有道理
- I think we should give her some time. - Fair.