野鸭变凤凰（2021）

你们为什么要这么生活
So why are you living like this?
斯蒂芬妮
Stephanie?
你给你的孩子请了两个私人冰球教练
You brought two private trainers to your kid's hockey practice.
对你来说这正常吗
Does that seem normal to you?
我不是教练 我是个儿科运动心理专家
I'm not a trainer. I'm a pediatric sports psychologist.
只有我看到这有多疯狂吗
Does no one see the insanity but me?
这些父母亲都是认真的
These parents are serious, all right?
他们是为了让我带领大家赢得比赛的 不是为了玩的
They pay me to win. We're not here to have fun.
大家伙 难道孩子们不应该运动为了娱乐吗
Guys! Shouldn't kids be able to play sports for fun?
哇
Wow.
好吧
Okay.
你知道当你训练这些冰球机器人时
You know what me and Evan are gonna do
我和埃文会做些什么吗
while you guys are busy training your little hockey robots?
我们会去商店里把所有能买♥♥的奶酪泡芙都买♥♥下来
We're gonna go to a store and we're gonna buy all the cheese puffs
我刚才说谎了 里面一点真正的奶酪都没有
we can friggin' find, which I lied, contain no actual cheese,
然后我们会回家坐在沙发上把它们都吃光
and we're gonna go home and sit on the couch and eat them.
他们还是孩子 这只是个运动而已
These are children. This is a game.
你跟我孩子说没戏了
You're telling my son, "Don't bother."
你才没戏了 你没戏了
You, don't bother, sir. You don't bother.
我们这就走
We are out of here.
这就是今晚的全景播了
And that's all for tonight on The Wraparound.
于是她坐在明尼苏达的月亮下 想着 未来会怎么样呢
So she sits under the Minnesota moon, wondering, "What lies ahead?"
嘿 尼克
Hey, Nick.
嗨 刚给我的播客做了个结尾
Hi. Just wrapping up my podcast.
- 不错 - 可以做个跟踪采访吗
-Cool. -Any chance for a follow-up interview?
- 算了吧 - 好的 我这就过来
-Uh, I don't think so. -Great. I'm headed over.
好吧
Great.
我是尼克小棒
This is Nick The Stick,
马上给大家播放亚历克斯·莫罗崩溃后的独家访谈
coming in with an exclusive interview with Alex Morrow after her tragic breakdown.
我只是不想让自己看起来更傻了
I just don't wanna make a bigger fool out of myself than I already did.
你不傻啊
You did not make a fool of yourself.
我听见维修队的人用手台说
Did I hear the maintenance crew on their walkie-talkies
你当时看起来很傻吗
saying what a fool you made of yourself?
- 的确 - 他还难过呢
-I did. -He's so upset,
都不肯离开房♥间
he won't come out of his room.
我感觉糟透了
I feel terrible.
我只是想帮他打球
I just wanted to help him play.
我能感觉到 我喜欢冰球
I feel ya. I love hockey.
如果要是让我选 我肯定会跟他在一起
If it were up to me, I'd be out there with him.
为什么你不能自己做主呢
Why isn't it up to you?
我直到六岁时才参加了儿童杯
Well, I was on the Peewee Participation Trophy Circuit 'til I was six.
但是在我这个年龄 如果我没有出类拔萃
But at my age, if you're not already awesome,
那一周训练七天
practicing seven days a week
参加俱乐部队或者什么的 就是
and on a club team or whatever... It's just like...
没戏了
"Don't bother."
嘿 野鸭队不能阻止你打冰球
Hey, the Ducks don't get to take hockey away from you.
- 你能让我自己待会吗 - 抱歉 我不能
-Can you just leave me alone, please? -No, I'm sorry. I cannot.
我想让你想想其他的孩子们
I want you to think about all the other kids
当他们被人说自己太弱 太慢的时候
who've been told that they're too small or too slow.
他们只是想打冰球啊
They just wanna get out there and play.
我们自己组队吧 一整队没戏的孩子们
Let's start our own team. A whole group of Don't Bothers.
尼克 进来
Nick, come in here.
看啊 这就是你的第一个队友
Look at this. Your first teammate!
队友吗
】】】】‘"Teammate"?
我真不知该说些什么好 但是好的
I don't know what to say. Yes.
你不能就随便组建个队吧 总得有些规则什么的
You can't just start a team. There's gotta be rules.
我看了 要想组队 必须有6名队员
It says in order to be a team, you just have to have six players,
一个室内冰球场 还有一个21岁以上的教练
a home rink, and a coach over the age of 21.
我们绝对可以做到
We can totally do that.
但你必须在这周五之前注册成功才行
But you have to be registered by Team Day this Friday,
我们只剩下3天了
so we only have three days.
我们应该可以做到的
We can maybe do that.
都没什么厉害的队员
Wouldn't even be any good.
- 无意冒犯 - 没事
-No offense. -No, I agree.
我也许不是一个厉害的队员
I would not be an asset physically.
但我有播客团体
I have more of a podcast body.
也许我们不会像野鸭队那么厉害 但这不是重点
Okay, so it wouldn't be a powerhouse team like the Ducks, but that's not the point.
谁在乎呢 他们配不上你
And anyway, who cares? Those guys don't deserve you.
我会找个教练 找个冰球场地
I'll find a coach. I'll find a rink.
你们去再找四名队员 然后我们就去打冰球了
You guys find four more players and let's just get out there and have fun.
好吧 我们可以试试
All right, let's give it a shot.
太好了
Yes... Psych.
太让人激动了
Okay, this is exciting.
我还没有冰刀鞋呢
I do not own ice skates!
我们需要四名队员 该找谁呢
We just need four players. Who we got?
我们有那么多不认识的同学呢
We got tons of kids who I don't know at all.
我来了
-BOY: Comin' through! Oh, yeah! -
你好
'Sup?
山姆 我发现你特别喜欢用自己的身体去撞些大型的东西
So, Sam, I noticed you enjoy flinging your body into large objects.
有人跟你叫板的时候 你就得上啊 对吧
Somebody dares you to do something, you gotta do it. Right?
你想过打冰球没有
Have you ever thought of playing hockey?
没有 规矩太多了 我不喜欢规矩
Nah, too many rules. Not a rules guy.
索菲
Sofi.
嘿 埃文 听说你受伤我和遗憾
Hey, Evan. Look, I'm so sorry you got cut.
说什么呢 根本不算事
Oh, what? That? It ain't no thang.
你知道吗 我要组建一个新的冰球队
You know, actually, I'm starting a new hockey team.
- 我很期待你加入我们哦 - 你是让我放弃鸭子队吗
-Love you to be a part of it. -You're asking me to quit the Ducks?
我知道你父母一直在盯着你
Well, I know your parents are always on your case.
你的膝盖有点问题因为你太用力了
Something's going on with your knee 'cause you're pushing so hard.
你在队伍里并不开心
You're not happy there.
我觉得我去一个更垃圾的队就开心了
You think I'm gonna be happier on a team that's worse?
你觉得这样我父母就不严格管着我了吗
You think that's gonna get my parents to let up on me?
不好意思 我得走了
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
美女们好啊
Hello, ladies.
我超爱这件露脐上衣 是名牌的吗
I love that crop top. Is that Brandy Melville?
我知道你们在人生这场游戏中都是受欢迎的赢家
I know you're all popular and winners in the game of life,
但试问你们有谁想加入不起眼
but would any of you want to join a ragtag,
但却很时髦的冰球队呢
yet very hip hockey team?
算了吧 我们就不用了
Yeah. Think we're gonna be good.
不要让她们影响到你
- -Don't let 'em get to you.
他们取笑我 说我像个参加魔法大会的
They make fun of me 'cause I dress like a warrior princess
战斗公主
and go to Magic: The Gathering conventions.
但丝毫影响不到我
But it doesn't bother me.
怪胎
Freaks.
- 你们能移过去一点嘛 - 你没戏了 先生
-Could you guys move over? -"You don't bother, sir."
幽默 非常幽默
Very funny. Very funny.
告诉我儿子 没戏了 你才没戏了
ALEX: Telling my son, "Don't bother." You don't bother.
- 没戏了 先生 - 你才没戏了
-"You don't bother, sir." -You don't bother.
没戏了 先生
"You don't bother, sir."
没戏了 先生
"You don't bother, sir."
没戏了 先生
ALL: "You don't bother, sir."
没戏了 先生
"You don't bother, sir."
- 嗨 和索菲沟通的怎么样 - 嗨
-Hey. How'd it go with Sofi? -Hey.
碰壁了 很明显 我也不能做到鸭子队那一桌了
Hard pass. And apparently, I can't sit at the Ducks' table anymore.
我的体育生涯完蛋了现在又碰上了社死
My sports career is dead and now my social life is, too.
看到没 5个炸薯球 连一份都不到
Look, five Tater Tots. Not even a full order.
还是有很多选择的
Well, there's plenty of room here.
我只是
I'll just...
不知道我们还能不能找到新的队员
I don't know how we're gonna find any new players.
哦 我有个主意 如果我把大家都空投来这个新队伍呢
Oh! I have an idea. What if I AirDrop everyone in here about the new team?
新队伍
"New team."
明天的第一次训练
"Big first practice tomorrow."
发送
And send.
种子已经种下
And the seed has been planted.
没错我打电♥话♥问过冰球上的时间
Yes, I called about, uh, time on the ice.
课后吗
After school?
是啤酒联盟吗 你怎么敢这么说话 他们才12
"Is it a beer league?" How dare you, sir? They're 12.
哦 不是 只是正常小孩 12岁的孩子
Uh, no, it's just normal people... Kids... Twelves...
没时间啊 那好吧 再见
No time. Okay, bye.
好吧 完了 烧焦了 烧焦了
Okay. Ah! You're burning, you're burning.